Normal, for a Moment
December 29, 2008|
Well, in the 24 hours since I started this post, Guard Wife wrote a better one, using the same word in a different way. And I love her post - it pretty accurately describes what life looks like at my house right now. Except that it doesn't seem to be my deploying spouse who is acting wacko - I'm pretty sure it is me. (And I know that I'm not alone.) Predeployment. Such a simple word, but so full of stuff. And I think it is mostly bad stuff. We've been predeployment for months now, and I'm tired of it. There is nothing normal about it, except in the sense that it being odd and unpleasant is usual.
And then there has been this week. We're on day nine of normal..parenting, Christmas, visiting the in-laws. As we sit here on the sofa, hubs watching sports on the TV, me surfing the net, I can forget that everything is topsy-turvy. It's like we're just a regular couple, living a mundane life in Suburbia, USA. And for this moment, I really like it. I'm trying to drink it in and store this memory for all the tough moments that I know will come.
I know that we're not the only family who is facing an imminent deployment. For all of you, I hope that you are able to find a little bit of "normal" during this holiday season.
until we got home from visiting.. now the next 10 days looms, then he leaves... and I'm not doing too well right now. He's trying, really trying.. and I'm just getting numb and saying stupid things like "I keep hoping they are going to change their mind"... dumb dumb.
LAW
Posted by: liberal army wife | 12/30/2008 at 06:09
we have 6 days to go till he leaves again. i'm 6 months pregnant so i'm holding it up the best i can. the kids are doing ok. our youngest doesnt understand really and our oldest does so he's been a grump. we're just doing the best we can. i think 'normal' has left the building.
Posted by: dizzylizzie | 12/30/2008 at 08:59
LAW - you crack me up. And I needed a little laugh this morning.
dizzylizzie - I wish I could come help. I was in that position two deployments ago. If it is any consolation, I was so tired and overwhelmed that I didn't have time to process the more mundane emotions like lonely, scared, and sad. Do you have friends or family nearby? I can't remember how old your older two kids are, but it is going to be quite a year for you.
Posted by: She of the Sea | 12/30/2008 at 09:28
We were in NOLA for Christmas and I completely forgot about the deployment. Now we're back and needing to pack up the house before he leaves so I won't have to move too much afterwards. I'll be staying for about 2wks after he leaves which should be interesting with the lack of furniture. I also keep hoping they change their mind and I'm definitely not looking forward to the ceremony since Little Man's going to be crying up one heck of a storm b'c Daddy's leaving.. I just hope those days past by quickly. Hurry up and wait, right? heh.. >_<
Posted by: Penny | 12/30/2008 at 11:27
@ she of the sea,
our oldest is 9, our youngest (for the next few months) is 2.5. we are stationed at ft. eustis, virginia. our family is in boston & atlanta. i think my major issue is what to do with the kids when i go into labor?? ive already figured i'd have to call an ambulance to bring me/us to the hospital (which i really didnt want to do. i feel ambulances are for real emergancies) but then what? i dont even know if the hospital would allow them to stay. but on the other hand who am i supposed to have watch them when there isnt anyone? *sigh* another thing stressing me is after we take an ambulance to the hospital how to get us all home? LOL! we live almost an hour from the hospital.
ive called military one source. they didnt have any workable answers for me. they just said to try and get family here to help. but our family cant come here, they cant take the time off of work. My OB said i need to figure something out so i can calm down. my blood pressure has him worried. and poor hubs is sprouting grey hairs by the day LOL!
Posted by: dizzylizzie | 12/30/2008 at 12:20
DL - We're going to have to figure out some stuff for you. Are you going to Portsmouth? They are notorious for figuring out a month before you are due that they're not going to have room, and then referring you to a nearby doctor/hospital. The downside is changing docs so soon before delivery, the upside is that you are then going to a hospital near you. Are you on post or off? Any helpful people in your husband's command? I hope I don't sound condescending - you sound like you have things pretty well together under the circumstances. I had my last child in Virginia Beach while my husband was deployed. I was fortunate that family could come, but I did find some outside help once I started asking outside my comfort zone. I spent a fortune on babysitting that deployment, but I think it was worth it for my sanity, and probably my kids' safety, too. Are you due in March?
Posted by: She of the Sea | 12/30/2008 at 13:35
She - I just sent something to someone I know in Norfolk. OK, folks - THIS is where the military family shows what we are made of. can we get DL some help/ get her blood pressure down?
LAW
Posted by: LAW | 12/30/2008 at 15:25
I live in Chesapeake, VA so if I can help out DL, let me know!
Posted by: Christine C | 12/30/2008 at 15:42
I have a very good friend at Eustis who just had a baby (TODAY!) who might be able to help if/when the time comes. Once she's home from the hospital, I can check with her and see.
Posted by: HomefrontSix | 12/30/2008 at 18:54
My husband leaves in March, we've been predeployment since we got married in September. He left in October for NTC,he got back we got ready for the holidays, went home for 2 weeks, got back and he had to leave 2 days later for 2 weeks of training. This is sort of how I'm used to things being though. When I was still living at home he'd come home for 2 weeks just to leave 10 days before my birthday. We havn't missed being together for Christmas or the New Year since we've met, this year is going to suck eggs though because in the 5 years we've know eachother/been together, our 6th one we will be apart for the crazy Christmas/New Years eve routen. Or so we're antisipating...but still ever since we've been married we've been stuck in predeployment mode...ugh
Posted by: Tayler | 01/10/2009 at 16:16
My husband just deployed to Iraq again for 8 months; only this time we have 11 week old twin boys. If anyone has twins or children close in age; how do you handle the crying at the same time and trying to figure out why they are crying without getting frustrated; if all the obvious things are taken care of? Also how do you equally divide attention to them without feeling like one is getting more than the other? Of course, with being military don't have family close by. I do have neighbors and co-workers that will help out if needed, but when I need the help is in the middle of the night or in the evenings when they are spending time with family. So essentially I am all by myself.
Posted by: Vina | 01/25/2009 at 18:42
Vina - See the post below:
http://www.spousebuzz.com/blog/2009/01/milspouse-seeks-advice.html#comments
Posted by: Andi | 01/28/2009 at 09:19