He's Definitely Probably Deploying. Maybe.

This post has been a long time coming.  My husband is deploying.  No, for real, I mean it this time.  Seriously.  Why don't you believe me?

In 2006, I wrote about giving my husband permission to switch assignments with a guy so my husband could deploy in his place.  But it didn't end up happening; he got assigned to an Army school instead.  He went to school for a year and was told he'd be deploying as soon as he finished school.  Nope, didn't happen.  It got pushed back a few months, and then, as soon as we were given a deployment date, he was told he'd been made Rear Detachment.

My husband pouted and fussed and cussed.  I tried to help him find the silver lining, that we'd hopefully have time to start a family and that we'd make him the best darned Rear D guy the Army has ever seen.  I planned to post and ask you all what you want out of Rear D.  I thought that he could really do a good job of this assignment, and I thought Rear D could make an interesting addition to the SpouseBUZZ repertoire.  He'd have thousands of spouses, all telling him what to do -- ha.

A few weeks later, he was told they were swapping him with another soldier and he was now deploying.  Then two days later, they said maybe not.  Then maybe yes.  Then definitely yes.

So he goes in the field this week, comes back, we have some block leave, and he's outta here.  Lickety split.  No time to even think about it.  We've been doing the mental off-and-on since Fall 2006, and still it managed to sneak up on us.

So I promise you, this time he's leaving.  Probably.  Right?  They wouldn't change their minds again, would they?

Comments

[Ramie]

Here's hoping that they stick to something...one way or another. I HATE the limbo feeling.....its the worst part. Them being deployed is easier then the not-knowing. HUGS

[Jan Wesner]

Oh, yeah, Sarah, I know exactly what you mean! My husband kept narrowly missing deployments for years ... and when he was "finally, definitely" going the date kept getting pushed back ... it ended up being a year after he got the word until he actually deployed.

Gotta love this roller coaster life we lead ...

[liberal army wife]

Limbo really sucks. If this is what you two want, then all anyone can wish you is luck, love and a good block leave.

LAW

[Ann M.]

They do stuff like this to my husband all the time too--schedule him for a trip, swap him out with somebody else, scratch the trip entirely...I've heard two different months (not even actual dates) in the last week and one of them is...close... So I feel your limbo pains.

[sweetestsass]

Can anyone tell me if this is normal? My husband is home right now on R&R from his first deploymemt. He had been deployed for over 9 months and has 6 months more to go when he gets back. For whatever reason i'm having a hard time enjoying this time together, and cant seem to get it out of my mind that he is leaving again soon. I've looked forward to this R&R for so long, but now it just seems depressing and anti-climatic. It sounds horrible, but part of me just wants him to go back and get the rest over with....ugh.....any words of wisdom?

[HomefrontSix]

Sweetest ~ I don't think it's abnormal. Truthfully, I don't think there IS a "normal" for R&R. I'm going to do a post about this hopefully this evening/tomorrow morning but what you describe truly isn't out of the norm.

That being said, try not to let it get the best of you. Regret sucks and I'd hate to see you a month from now, kicking yourself for not doing your best to enjoy the time you have together. And, if you're comfortable doing so, I'd talk to your husband about your feelings. You might find that a.) he's feeling a lot of the same things, b.) that it actually alleviates the stress of it all and allows you to better enjoy the rest of R&R, and c.) it might bring you closer together just by sharing your feelings.

{{{hugs}}} to you. It's never easy. But yay for the fact that you're more than 1/2 way through.