Holiday W[h]ine: Serve With a Side of Green Grass

I have to admit that I have mixed feelings about the holiday season. I get a twinge of "the grass is always greener on the other side" each and every year. Being a military family usually means we're geographically separated from our families and in order to see them, we're the ones who are expected to do the traveling. For our family, practically speaking, it makes sense that my husband and I will pick up and travel. We don't have children and our families are located in the south and in the northeast, so it's silly to expect them to pack up the kids and presents and come to our home.

Having said that, I admit that every year, although I want to see our family, I long for a Christmas at home. Just the two of us. I want to establish our own Christmas traditions. I have visions of sleeping in on Christmas day, making a huge home-cooked breakfast and serving breakfast in bed to my husband. Lazily making our way downstairs to the lighted Christmas tree and snuggling on the sofa under a warm blanket while we watch Christmas classics on the television. Exchanging gifts beside OUR tree on Christmas Day (something we've done only once and that's because my husband returned from NTC at midnight on Christmas eve) and enjoying Christmas in our very own home.

Alas, it's not in the cards. My typical military-style holiday season starts with travel, and ends with travel. It usually goes something like this:

- Travel somewhere for Thanksgiving (All but two years).

- Put up Christmas decorations later than I would like (Ideally, it would be Thanksgiving day) because we traveled over Thanksgiving.

- Put up the decorations, which will be enjoyed less than they should be.

- Email photos to my mom (who gave me many of the decorations). She will not see my decorations in person and always asks for photos.

- Do my Christmas shopping in a frenzy because I will likely have to meet mailing deadlines.

- Decide whether to pack the gifts in an extra suitcase and wrap them when I reach my destination (because the airlines will likely unwrap them if they are wrapped) or wrap the gifts and ship them out.

- Always settle on the latter of the two choices above. Stand in line at the post office for an hour with four million of my closest friends, and spend a lot of money shipping presents out to various locations.

- Divide Christmas vacation between two cities that are 1,000 miles apart.

- Figure out how to get gifts that we've received back to our house because they won't all fit in the suitcase. Usually end up shipping them.

- Return from "vacation" exhausted.

- Have our private Christmas on New Year's Day (the day we typically return from our travels).

- Take down the Christmas decorations on January 2 and realize that all in all, we were able to enjoy them for roughly two weeks.

- Vow that one year, just one, we are going to stay home and have Christmas in our own house. Maybe we'll travel the day after Christmas?

- Know that the vow above will never be kept.

In the end, family is what's important and I know deep down that I will never, ever regret the time we spend with our families each year. I am also keenly aware of the fact that many milspouses will not have their husbands or wives home with them this year. I know firsthand what it's like to have your spouse deployed during the holiday season. Some will make it home from a deployment, others will never return. While I try to keep that in mind, it doesn't change the fact that I do long to have a relaxed Christmas in my own house one day. With my husband. And my cat.

I know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but I do feel better now that I've had my yearly whine. In public. Big girl panties going back on now.

So that's what our Christmas looks like most years. What does yours look like?

Comments

[Sly2017]

For the last 18 years, I have been in the same boat. This year, for the very first time, my folks have come to our house for Christmas. Between you, me and the *fencepost*, if they hadn't bought the tickets two months ago, I would think that that has as much to do with the fact that where they live in OR is still being battered by one storm after another, and I live in So. Cal. -- *paradise* as a friend of mine is so fond of calling it. (Mostly because she doesn't live her on a daily basis.....) Needless to say, SWHNOB is beyond excited.

Oh, and FYI, my folks came through airport security with wrapped packages in their suitcases. Guess someone finally figured out they could x-ray those, too, just the same as luggage. Ahhh, 'tis the season for TSA to fire a neuron. Fa lalah lalah, la lah lah lah.....

0>;~}

[Andi]

Sly - I'm uber-jealous. Enjoy having family come to you.

Well, gotta run now. I've got bags to pack. Heh!

[Linda]

Mine looked a whole lot like yours for awhile. Then we had kids. Then it was mandatory to travel to MIL's house (as though my family wasn't important enough to get a holiday!). And then we moved to Germany...the "travel to family" came to a SCREECHING halt. And we were fine with it. Yes, it meant shipping more gifts out, because we had always DRIVEN to our destination before and could load the gifts up, or wait till we got there to do shopping for "that side" of the family. That meant only shipping a few packages out to my family and friends. But it was worth it to have our own "FAMILY CHRISTMAS". And then we came here...which is now a TWO day drive. We aren't going to fly with 2 kids, because there are no cars available (other than rentals, of course) on the other end, and the cost is way too prohibitive to do all that. So, once again, I found myself standing in line with way too many packages (way too late in the game, which, thanks to an unscheduled ICE STORM, caused me to pay over $100 in shipping charges so that things get there for Christmas). But I discovered that small town post offices are often WAY less busy than the city ones, and I am willing to drive out of my way for that convenience. They're usually much nicer and less frazzled, too.

But here's a suggestion for you folks who are flying: If you are concerned about how to get those extra things home, pack 2 suitcases...what I mean is, get nested sets. Pack the smaller suitcase with your things, and pack the larger suitcase with the smaller one. This way, when you get all those "goodies" you have an extra case to put them in, and you are entitled to 2 bags anyway! Worked well for us. We'd pack a large square duffel bag, and a suitcase in a suitcase. We always had enough space for everything.

[Kori]

Our dream of not traveling during the holidays has finally come true. DH & I will not be packing our 3 sons and driving for hours to visit family this year.

We are staying home in our new home that DH bought us for our 11th anniversary.

But I must say I truly miss the days of no kids while stationed in Hawaii, having our usual picnic on the beach Christmas Day. Those were the days...no stress and no family traveling during the holidays.

But like you said, Andi, I would not trade my family time and know that all the hours stuck in VA/MD/DC traffic were not in vain but truly enjoyable family memories.

Merry Christmas and I hope just one year you are able to compromise and have a "Just the 2 of Us Christmas".

[Andi]

Picnic on the beach - sounds dreamy!

I see the problem here. D'oh. I need to have a baby or two:)

Oh, Mister Andi....

[Stephanie]

Last year we divided the day between his family in the morning and my mother in the evening, but I lived in the area and we weren't yet married.

This year the in-laws wanted me to come stay with them but traveling with a post-op high energy puppy to a non dog friendly house was more stress than I could handle right now. My grandmother is driving down to see my mom about 4 hrs from me, and then coming here the weekend after Christmas, so I'll at least get to see her.

I'm spending the day with a good friend and neighbor (her husband is also deployed), so it should be fun anyway.

[Heather S.]

Oh man... I feel your pain! My husband is deployed this Xmas. We spent last Xmas with his family because we knew he'd be deploying shortly. And, more than likely, we will travel half-way across the country to spend next Xmas with his family (since he was gone for this one). I, too, long so much for the quiet Christmas at home, just the two of us. Hubby isn't as keen on that yet...he still feels obligated to see family on Xmas. Oh...and if we don't go see my family or his, his family comes to see us. Invited or not. I guess we'll just have to enjoy our alone time in the rare moments that we can steal through the rest of the year! (After he gets home, of course)

[Del]

They Won't Be Home For Christmas

Another year, American Heroes
Are fighting in a foreign land
And there is still, no end in sight
A part of life they hadn't planned.

They do their duty without question
And they all stand proud and tall
They are placed there in harm's way
As they answer, our Country's call.

They'll get by the best they can
And improvise ingenious ways
To find a way to celebrate
The meaning of the Holidays.

Peace on Earth, good will towards men
Is really, kinda hard to do
When all around, there are folks
Whose only wish, is to kill you.

There are far too many families
Who will never again know the joy
That the Christmastime can bring
And cruel, wartime can destroy.

The lucky will return back home
But lives will never be the same
Forever changed in heart and mind
By humankind's unholy game.

They won't be home for Christmas
And sadly, some will never be
But all of them will share one thing
That's the war Hero's legacy.

So as you gather 'round the tree
With your loved ones by your side
Think about those, "over there"
While you enjoy, your Yuletide.

Del "Abe" Jones
White Bluff, TN
12.21.2007

[Del]

They Won't Be Home For Christmas

Another year, American Heroes
Are fighting in a foreign land
And there is still, no end in sight
A part of life they hadn't planned.

They do their duty without question
And they all stand proud and tall
They are placed there in harm's way
As they answer, our Country's call.

They'll get by the best they can
And improvise ingenious ways
To find a way to celebrate
The meaning of the Holidays.

Peace on Earth, good will towards men
Is really, kinda hard to do
When all around, there are folks
Whose only wish, is to kill you.

There are far too many families
Who will never again know the joy
That the Christmastime can bring
And cruel, wartime can destroy.

The lucky will return back home
But lives will never be the same
Forever changed in heart and mind
By humankind's unholy game.

They won't be home for Christmas
And sadly, some will never be
But all of them will share one thing
That's the war Hero's legacy.

So as you gather 'round the tree
With your loved ones by your side
Think about those, "over there"
While you enjoy, your Yuletide.

Del "Abe" Jones
White Bluff, TN
12.21.2007

[Sarah]

You're brave for hitting both regions of the US for Christmas, Andi. We've gotten a lot of funny looks for not going home for Christmas, but when you only have one week of leave, it's impossible to see both families. And I refuse to choose one or the other.
I never lived near my grandparents, so I grew up having just our family for most holidays. I am used to it and don't see the joy in trekking 16 hours across the US unless it's convenient.
But maybe I'm a bah-humbug. I just think that Christmas is when you make it, and if you have to go home in August instead, that's OK.

[MO]

We, my husband, three girls and I, stopped traveling "home" years ago. We are five people, they are usually adults with either one child or no children at home. Which is cheaper and easier? Them seeing us. We have a lot of kids which means we have a lot of room.

This year it's just the girls and I. No family visiting us, no going to visit family. We are still happy :).

[aj]

Thanks for the poem. I hope millions of civilians see it.

[dizzylizzie]

every year we too do the christmas traveling. with the kids. it sure would be nice if all those relatives that didnt have to drag diaper bags, porta-cribs, dogs, and seabags full of extra clothes ...would travel to US for a change! we decided we did want a christmas at home this year so we made the 1000 mile trek a week early and arrived home late last night. phew! its good to be home! now i have to grocery shop for xmas dinner but first we have to unload the truck...*eye roll & laughter*