Military Wife Quote: Be Angry About This

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I have been spending a lot of time at the gym. Over 10 months after having my second child, I’m more than ready to be back in the comparatively amazing shape I was in pre-pregnancy. I’m tired of the jiggle. I give forlorn glances to my favorite jeans. I long to wear my favorite top without sending all the world the unwritten message “Yes I have back fat, stop staring.”

Combined with a commitment not to buy any more Wheat Thins, the gym is starting to work. I’m a quick-fix kinda girl, so rapid weight loss would be my preference (ha!).

And then I saw this gem in Real Simple (our favorite magazine, as we’ve already confessed):

“It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.” — Rita Rudner, “Naked Beneath My Clothes”

That was a jolt of reality perfect for one of our military wife quotes. It also got me thinking about how true that fact is about other things in life, too, not just being “in shape.”

It made me think about my military marriage.

After months and months of off-and-on absences and deployments I’d be fibbing if I said things are 100 percent peaches and cream over here. And you’d be fibbing if you said that about your relationship, too.

Why? Because just like staying fit, maintaining a relationship takes work. Hard, hard work. Stop maintaing — the health of that relationship decreases. And getting it back? Much harder than maintaining it to start with.

What if those of use who are gym rats treated our marriage the same way we treat our bodies? We would spend an hour a day making sure it is happy. And we wouldn’t take a break for the upkeep because doing so would result in too much pain later.

Why does that seem so hard for relationships and so easy for physical fitness?

About the Author

Amy Bushatz
Amy is the editor in chief of Military.com’s spouse and family blog SpouseBuzz.com. A journalist by trade, Amy also covers spouse and family news for Military.com where she is the managing editor of spouse and family content. An Army wife and mother of two, Amy has been featured as a subject matter expert on CNN.com, NPR, Fox News, NBC, CBS, ABC and BBC as well as in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and Washington Post. Follow her on twitter @amybushatz.
  • Kendra

    Awesome!!! Totally agree… as a fellow “gym rat” & with a husband deployed, this hits home. We should all take our health AND our marriages seriously – priority #1! When we are healthy and getting ourselves in better shape, our attitudes improve and it can positively affect our marriage. Likewise, our marriages need good “nutrition” and exercise just like our bodies do… deployments SUCK and it is our duty to protect our marriages through them.

  • guest

    Great post, but you threw me for a loop at the end when you wrote: “Why does that seem so hard for relationships and so easy for physical fitness?”

    I thought you were comparing them instead of contrasting?
    i got the general idea that both need hard work and both are important for a healthy life…. not that one was easier than the other?

  • Red

    I agree, at least for us. We’ve always been very comfortable with each other, in all aspects, so I find that it’s often difficult to ‘work’ at things because we are so comfortable- if that makes sense. Admittedly, we’re rut-diggers ;-)

    But yes, relationships DO need lots of work to stay in shape, finally after 10yrs together, we’re figuring out the feed & upkeep OUR relationship needs. But I still find our biggest challenge is overcoming the comfortable-ness we share.

  • aweighwithme

    This is a great perspective! And so true. Thanks for the reminder that something as precious as marriage has to be fought for everyday!

  • Barbara

    My husband was in the Marines for 4 years and now I find out we should have been paid! and never were. We didn’t know!! This was 40 years ago. No one said anything about benefits and we never knew. so sad for my husband. He is gone now and it is a shame. thanks for listening. B

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    That was a jolt of reality perfect for one of our military wife quotes. It also got me thinking about how true that fact is about other things in life, too, not just being “in shape.”