Who's Up For Being Responsible?

In an airport terminal, finding a decent place to sit at the gate waiting for a flight is never that choice.  Last week though, I managed to secure "box-seat-tickets" and had the unique and good fortune to be exquisitely seated near a group of mil spouses traveling together, who luckily for me "knew it all."  I tell you, if I could have had them as an Advisory Board during my tour on active duty, Sheez & ShazZam! life would have been grrrreat!

As I listened though, it became apparent that trouble lurked in their ranks.  For they knew there were problems "in the unit" but that everybody who was saddled with the mantle of responsibility, were brainless twits.  Brainless I tell you.  Diaper-wearing, thumb sucking, twits.  I mean, unit leadership were thumb suckers!  So as I listened (I know, I know, ... bad Toad), a few things became readily apparent.  First, they only knew one side of the story.  Second, they only cared to know one side of the story and could not conceive of another side dealing with anything going on about them.  Lastly, you could only continue to be on their team, if you shared their views.  And although they knew (from their perspective) what was wrong, none had any idea what the fix could be.  I mean, they didn't even get close to proffering a solution to any of the problems they perceived in the unit.  And then, I started reading GBears post, Brass Blogs.  And I thought, of those 3 things above, the 2nd one -- i.e., understanding the other side of the story, is the only one that originates in someone else's head ...(how's THAT for a twisted sentence? Sorry AFW.)

So, I just had to call and get GBear's forgiveness and permission to tag-team on her recent post.  Since I know you've now had a chance to read and mull over the questions and thoughts from GBear, I just have to ask as well, How should those charged with being responsible, reach out to explain their own perspectives and how do you believe they should get feedback?  Facebook seems to be hit or miss.  And whatever is used needs to have access from a dot-mil acct as well as from the wider spaces of the Internet. You gave GBear some thoughts -- but how best do those responsible, reach you?

These spouses sitting near me were looking for a place to vent I believe, but could they also offer solutions?  Would reading something from the Brass, alter their own perspectives and maybe help them to join the team?  I don't know if they'd even take the time, would they?  Would their husbands (in this case) dare to unleash them even anonymously, on the Brass?  Might they, if allowed to broach their concerns, realize that those they held in such low regard, were actually doing the best of what could be done?

Even in this day and age of massive amounts of information, we still fall victim to one side of the story.  How do we achieve a balanced reportage between you, and leadership?  How do YOU want to get the story from those that are charged with being responsible?  And then, can we as military spouses Be Responsible for a healthy feedback cycle ... who's up for it?  Eh?  Over&Out, MaintenanceToadOne

Comments

[Kacie]

Aren't these goals essentially what are met in a squadron climate survey? (We're Air Force.) It seems to me that the only real difference is that the climate surveys conducted by the "brass" in our current squadron don't include feedback from spouses.

Surely, though, the anonymous surveys would reveal the issues that the troops have (and are thus conveying to their spouses at home) in a manner that doesn't create security risks like online communication would? If not, couldn't we conduct a similar climate survey of spouses, too, and obtain the same information?

My husband is a First Sergeant, and a recent climate survey revealed problems in his squadron of which the "brass" were not previously aware--and they're already working to develop a multi-faceted response to those issues.

Let me put it another way. I teach online, and one of the things I've learned to ask myself is: am I incorporating technology for technology's sake, or will it serve a purpose that the current version is not? I'm not sure why we would need to create an online version if a standard version is already effective.

[Maintenance Toad One]

Hi Kacie!
There are in fact numerous over-arching surveys that are conducted. Did you get word and participate in the AF Spouses survey that closed out in June 2008? That one was real recent and was reported on right here by Love My Tanker.
But to this post--here's one of my thoughts: many field commanders as well as many in garrison collect from subordinate levels and provide to superiors, a report called the WAR: Weekly Activity Report. It basically has (in AF-speak) Branch or Division chiefs provide the Squadron Commander the five most significant things that happened this week. The Squadron CO then distills that into her/his 5 most signifcant things, and provides to the Group CO. Who sustains the process and provides their 5 top issues to the Wing CO. Why couldn't that be put into a Squadron/ Group/ Wing "blog" so that everyone could see on a recurring basis, those things that "the Brass" think are important? (or at least those issues that are not of an operational nature ...)
Information, to those that live on information, can be mind-bending or mind-altering. I'm just thinking it could be Mind-Informing...
Just one of my thoughts ...
Thanks for writing! Toad

[airforcewife]

Oh what a tangled sentence we weave... :P

I've always been very active in stuff at our base, in our squadron, with Family Support/Airman and Family Readiness Center, etc. But one thing that I NEVER saw was a survey for spouses.

I knew, technically, that they existed. For some reason, I never got one. It could be that AFG was usually gone when he was supposed to bring one home. It could be that the notice that they were available was buried in amongst other things I got bored reading. It could be that AFG feared what would happen should I see that survey (doubtful, though, as I've never quite been shy about my questions in the first place).

It could also be that we were in units that weren't too interested in making sure spouses could be heard (not usually, although I can name a few instances where it did happen).

But, I figure if they can track us down for the CFC shakedown, they should have been able get the word out that I had a survey to fill out! I most certainly would have done it!

Question one I would certainly ask is this: Are we sure that the surveys are getting to the people who need to be filling them out? Because it surely doesn't make a person feel too valued to find out that no one bothered to let you know opinions were being solicited.

[Ann - AF spouse]

I did do an online survey, designed for spouses about 4 years ago. All I can remember was how ridiculous some of the questions were. Did my spouse ever make me feel sad? Did I let my children play outside unsupervised? (they were TEENAGERS) It was the biggest waste of time.

I don't think these types of generic surrveys will ever help with problems in an individual unit.

[liberal army wife]

surveys - when we were Guard there were surveys of surveys of questionnaires! and as Ann says - a huge waste of time! the monstrosity they sent out for redeployment - too long, too big, and written by a PhD candidate to impress his/her reviewers. After you figured out the sentence, you were so confused you forgot why you were filling out this book. and if I'd seen any changes due to what they heard, I'd have been thrilled. From what I hear from those who just left again for deployment, nothing has changed.

The present unit, doesn't want to acknowledge that families exist. The FRG has folded, and the vFRG that was requested has been refused by command. I'd love to hear something from Command - but so far nada. the "newsletter" from the FRG died with the FRG and we receive nothing online from command. Since DH is now downrange, if they are giving out something during duty hours, I'm not getting it. I've asked (hey, you KNOW me Toad, I'm not shy, I'm a nag!) but my calls aren't returned, my emails ignored. It's got to be a two way street. When it's not - you get the result of the spouses you listened to (didn't your mama tell you that wasn't polite? , but then how do you learn, right?)

LAW

[Slickbug]

I have filled out several AF spouse surveys, none of which has been aimed at opening the lines of communication or the other side of the story within our squadron. This scenario given by MTO sounds exactly like myself and my circle of friends/milspouses. However, often we have tried to voice our concerns with the brass only to be met with vague responses meant to usher us out of the way. Recently, we had severe problems with our AFRC, and had voiced our opinions and concerns, only to have it overlooked until the problem was in the lap of the CO. It seems to me that what the spouses think and feel is the least of the concerns of the brass, and it simply doesn't make it onto their radar. I'd love to know their side of the story, but when I've heard attempts to inform spouses of the status quo, it doesn't make sense with what families are really living - there's some kind of a disconnect - like the brass don't really know what families are coping with, and are oblivious to the people in their ranks.

Town hall type forums have been helpful in the past, but seldom are dependents or military members candid about the really tough questions. An anonymous survey, put out by the CO would be a great way to really find out what families think and feel. Maybe a quarterly newsletter from a CO with answers to anonymous questions from spouses - something to keep in touch. I certainly have found that hearing things through your spouse is not always the best way to get information about what's going on at the office.