The Missed Phonecalls

Sunday I was on a road-trip for six hours in the car.  I ate lunch in the drive-thru, and the only time I was out of the car was a four-minute stop at a rest area.  And I was wearing pants with no pockets, so I left the cell phone in the car while I ran in.  Naturally, that's when my husband called from Iraq.  Six hours sitting twelve inches from my phone, and he calls at the worst possible time.

So let's play Military Family Poker.  I know some of you out there can one-up me.  Tell me about the time you stepped outside to get the mail or you stuck your head in a closet and didn't hear the phone.  Let's commiserate on those missed deployment phonecalls. 

Comments

[Danielle]

I don't think this really one-ups anything, just reaffirms I'm a newbie at this whole deployment thing. My husband had been calling every week for awhile, on either Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday... not only am I new to deployment, I'm new to having a cell phone so I find it hard to remember to keep it charged. I'm sure you see where this is going. I had to go grocery shopping, on a Saturday. The cell only had a little charge, but I figured "he never calls on Saturday, it'll be fine," and I went. Yep, he called. Yep, phone died - mid conversation. I was a wreck, I hadn't even told him that I loved him yet. I know he knows, but still, I was going through the panic of "what if," and I was soooo mad at myself. I'm more careful about charging the phone now.

[Penny]

My favorite times were after our son was born last year and I would wait for days wondering when he'd call. So one particular day after waiting from am to pm, I figured he wouldn't be calling. I decided to shower at around 2300, start the shower and wouldn't you know it? .. lol.. that's when he called! I don't even remember how I managed to make it out in time to get 2 bedrooms away and his response when I answered?

"What took you so long to pick up?"

:sigh: .. Ah.. That was nice. lol. Afterwards I made it a priority to bring the phone with me and yes, he did mananged to call other times but I was ready!

Another favorite time was when I was moving back to NOLA and we were in this dead zone. Once we stopped to refuel I checked and saw these awful text msgs from him saying how I didn't want to talk to him even though he couldn't talk everyday.. Well, once he eventually called back I was in tears (pg hormones) from it and told him about the dead zone and how I'd hadn't gotten the msgs on time.. Yeah.. he was nicer after that one.

[Laura, a Military Mom]

When #1 Son was deployed the first time...we missed so many calls that we added on to our home phone plan with call forwarding. Then set it up to call first my husbands Cell phone and then my cell phone before going to Voice Mail. So we knew that where ever we were we would get his calls. It gave us peace of mind to know that even if we traveled (which we did plenty of while he was gone) we would get his calls. Not always convenient but we did get into the habit of always having at least one phone with us. It was alway fun when he called and we would be visiting family and they would get to talk with him too!

[airforcewife]

Why is it that AFG ONLY seems to call when I'm in the bathroom? I will hear the phone start (Austin Powers theme) and nearly kill myself to get out of the bathroom as quickly as possible only to get there JUST as the phone transfers to voice mail.

Or, I won't be able to find my phone in my purse before the phone clicks over to vm.

I know you've experienced that one, too, Sarah!

[Estrella]

This deployment has been nice to us and my husband calls or comes online around the same time almost everyday, the only time i thought i was gonna go crazy was when one of my friends lost my celphone, I don't think my carrier had had a phone replacement made that inmediate to the loss of a phone,2 hours later i had a new phone in my hand, my friends laugh at my obsession with my celphone, they just don't understand that those calls from Iraq make my day.
And btw, yes, he called during those 2 hours.

[angela]

My husband always called while I was in line for something. I would always get out of line and let everyone else go and then get back in line. If my mom was with me she knew my pin# and would just pay for my stuff. It was like a joke to us. It didn't matter what day my mom called and asked to shop my hubby would call that day and only once I was in line already. When I had a day surgery I waited all day for him to call. I thought to myself that maybe I should leave the hospital and go to JCPenneys so I could talk to him.

[Ramie]

I usually am able to get to them, but DH always seems to call when I'm loading kids to head out the door for school in the morning. He'll call the home phone first, and I'll run back in to answer, leaving my cell in the car.....I'll get to the home phone just as it goes to voicemail, and hear my cell start ringing in the car. Run back out, and hurdle over kids, backpacks and diaper bags to grab it.....usually on the last ring. It's always fun to laugh about afterwards, but so annoying when it happens!

[liberal army wife]

Got a call from son in Iraq and was in class (phone on vibe only) looked at phone, realized the "unknown ##" and figured it was either DH in Bosnia or son... ran out of class, talked to Son in Sadr City... came back and got reamed a new one by instructor. We had a "come to Jesus" talk after that - I did the talking, she did the "gold fish in a bowl" look..

But DH would call the second I hit the bathroom at work... or in the deadzone between the highway and the house... or the SECOND I got onto the massage therapists table. or when I had finally given up on him calling (Sunday morning, between 6 and 9 am).. went out to walk the dog who was doing the "ooh ooh, gotta go dance".. walked to the end of the driveway with phones (both house and cell)... he'd call, dog went thataway after a rabbit... sigh. and NO ONE understood my panic whan I missplaced the phone, except the other military family member in the firm! It took me a year to stop doing the pat down - pants pockets, purse pocket, jacket pocket - ok, got it, NOW we can go to lunch/home/bathroom..

LAW

[Claire]

I don't think that this is a one upper, but it was my worst experience with missing a call.

My husband was not deployed, but he was in training at Ft. Benning in GA and I was still living in TN. There were a couple of guys causing problems in his class so that meant the rest of the guys lost their phone privies. It had been about 9 weeks with NO calls! No contact at all outside of an occasional letter.

So, one night my little daughter got very sick. I sat the phone down on my bed and was getting ready to change out of my Church clothes and into some shorts. I heard Emma puking over the monitor, so I quickly threw on my shorts and ran to comfort her and clean her up. Sure enough when I came back to my room the ONE phone call had happened.

All I had was a very sad sounding husband on the other line saying how much he missed us and how sad he was that we missed his call. I seriously wanted to scream and throw my cell phone into the wall. I threw on the bed instead and screamed into the pillow.

I finally heard from him the following week for 10 minutes.

[Claire]

Oh, I have to add that I missed the very first call from my son in Kuwait and it was ... of course on his birthday! He was able to call back an hour later though, so the initial miss was maddening, but we made up for it really quickly!

[Jan Wesner]

Here's an old school one for you:

My husband went to Ranger school back in 1991, before cell phones. He told me he'd have a 24 hour window to call about halfway through. The window fell over a weekend and I did not leave my house for 72 hours straight. It so happened a girlfriend came to visit that weekend, and I made her stay in the house with me the whole time!

Finally, after 72 hours, I couldn't take it any more. I called my sister to commiserate, and the next morning I left the house.

A week or so later I found out Mark had called while I was on the phone with my sister.

Oh, did I mention we didn't have call waiting?

I have been a slave to the phone ever since, and got my first cell phone in 1994.

I only missed one call the whole time he was in Iraq. I considered that a big accomplishment!

[SeabeeSeniorWife]

My hubby could only call every 4 or 5 days and then even less if they were on a mission. On those 4th or 5th days, I carried the phone everywhere and yet he always seemed to call when I in the bathroom. We laugh now about his knack of knowing when I would be taking a potty break.

The one call I missed that made me upset was on Christmas Day. He had been out of contact for a while on a mission and we didn't know if he would make it back to base for Christmas. My daughter and I took a three day trip to a state park lodge for Christmas because we just didn't want to be at home. The phone reception in the lodge was sketchy at best. Christmas afternoon we went down to the pool and I took the phone, knowing that we would probably be out of range in the pool area but did it just in case. Sure enough, he called while we were in the pool and I was trying to get out and to the phone and as soon as I answered it, the signal died. We did get to talk to him for about 2 min. later that day but I was really upset when I missed that first call. I'm sure the other people in the pool thought I was a maniac for getting so upset over one call.

[HomefrontSix]

afw ~ MacGyver has that same knack. When he was in Iraq, I was known to answer the phone while...indisposed. He rarely had time to call - I didn't want to waste one minute of it!

He and I have a deal/agreement - if he calls and gets voicemail, he calls back in 5 minutes if it's feasible. That, alone, has saved us many heartaches.

[Sarah]

Angela, you reminded me of one. My husband called while I was visiting AirForceFamily and we'd been waiting in line at the Air and Space Museum for forever. And you have to go through metal detectors, etc. I hated to step out of line and stand outside in the hot sun, but I didn't want to hang up. AFW asked the security guard if I could stand off to the side talking on the phone with my husband in Iraq and then cut back into the security line once I was done. The guard was super nice and just waved me through, saying I could skip the security nonsense while talking to the hubs. It was sooo nice. I raced through the metal detector and AFW wrestled with my purse and stuff. It felt good that the guard had made it so easy for me!

[Butterfly Wife]

Jack Bauer and I did not talk much on the phone, but I think this might satisfy the poker criteria.

While I was at work, I got an email from him that 3 of his soldiers were killed, and he would try to call me. Eager to get to the call to make sure he was OK and to see what he needed me to do, I ran to the bathroom. Just as I was running back to my cubicle, I could hear the phone begin to ring, and there was someone standing in the small cubicle opening, blocking my way. I got her out of the way just in time to see the number and know that it was him, but not fast enough to pick up the phone. Had I not had to dance with the co-worker-turned-door, I would have been able to pick up the phone.

Instead, I went to lunch, knowing that we were obviously not meant to talk just at that time. We talked about an hour later, after I had some time to let the reality of the situation sink in. And that was OK.

[Sis B]

I thought I left this comment earlier, but I must have screwed it up:

The first call I missed from him was a couple of weeks ago here in the NICU. I was sitting with the baby in a rocking chair, and he had all sorts of wires hanging off of him--heart monitor, oxygen monitor, an iv, a feeding tube. It was completely impossible to take him any further than about 3 feet from his crib. That's when the phone rang. It was about 4 feet out of my reach, and I couldn't get to it without putting down the baby and all his wires. There was no way for me to do it in time, so I sat and watched the phone until it stopped ringing, knowing all the time that it was my husband.

Needless to say, I no longer sit in that chair without the phones right next to me.

[Penny]

Oh I remember the crazy looks people gave me when I tried to reach my cell phone on time.. And by people I mean my family.. And by on time I mean running from one end of the house to the other even if it meant knocking down my brothers in the process.. lol.. Everytime that phone rang, everyone knew to get out of my way..

Btw, that is a crazy hard habit to kick. Dh would be home and I'd still run to the phone to try and answer it. I finally explained to him I was so used to it that it was second nature to me.

My poker criteria for not having my phone on me? I was about 36 weeks pg and my father and I were across town giving a ride home to one of his workers. Unbeknown to me, when I got out of the car so the guy could get out, my cell phone was knocked into the street. So, we go home and once we arrive I start looking for my phone. It's nowehere to be found and 9pm at night. I begged my father to drive all the way across town to the guy's house b'c I was sure I'd heard something hit the ground before we left. So we eventually get there and in the night find my phone. Turns out Dh had called me 4 times during that time and my phone barely got crushed under a passing car.

It's funny now but I was not laughing back then.. lol

[Marine Wife]

We had just moved from overseas when Stretch deployed last time. We also had all new phones. When he called, I would invariably put him on speaker to talk to the kids, especially since our youngest wasn't quite 3. But then I'd take him off speaker to talk privately. The only problem was that I pushed the wrong button and hung up on him. I wanted to cry. But the worst thing? I did this more than once!

[Ann M.]

I don't really get any phone calls when DH gets deployed, so I don't have quite the same experience as everyone else... But once, after DH was gone for a month, he called me from Japan to let me know that he was coming home--he just didn't know when because nobody'd told him when his flight was. The caller waiting cut in and I chose not to answer it. Turns out it was his command, calling me to tell me the flight info. I let it go to voicemail, so I didn't find out until after we'd hung up. I tried to call him back but I couldn't get through. So yeah, he missed his flight. I spent two hours in the airport trying to figure out where the heck he was.

After that incident, he got a cellphone that works everywhere, and I got call waiting caller ID.

[Alinka]

This is definitely not up to all you guys poker criteria, but anyway, here goes. My DH is in the reserves and has of course been called up. He is now over there and has a bit of trouble calling me. You see, we do not live in the US and we do not even live in the country where he drills. In fact, there are no US bases here whatsoever. It's a neutral European country. So my DH tells me he can't call me because with military lines, you need to go through a switchboard, which works for Germany, but not where I live. Not sure if it works like that, as I am quite new to the military, but that's what he told me. So, here am I, not expecting any phone calls and not waiting impatiently by the phone. On my birthday, I celebrate at a friend's house and don't even think he might call. He does. On my home number - not my cell. I tell him to try the cell as I always have it. So, a few weeks later, I am gallivating in the pool with the kids, when the cell rings. I rush to it, but of course it switches to VM. I ask him to call back after a few minutes if I don't answer as I don't always reach it on time. DH does better. He lets me know when he'll call. So, the big day comes. I answer the phone and the first thing DH says is that the battery is low. We talk. After 3 minutes and 26 seconds, his battery shuts down.3 minutes and 26 seconds in 6 weeks ... still better than nothing :)

[BeautifulBlackButterfly]

Hello all,

I am so glad to have someone to talk too that is like myself, confused and not understanding what it takes too be a Military Wife. This is my first time being in a situtation where my husband has been deployed overseas and it is not a good feeling. How does one cope with all of the demands that go with being a military spouse? For my first experience it has been nothing but "Hell" for me. Someone help me out!!!!! How did you guys get through the days and years of being alone and not having any support?

[Sis B]

More missed calls....

My son was released from the NICU today and we are staying with friends until it is safe for us to travel. Before bed I arranged my cell phone and the house phone neatly by my bed. After much work, I got both kids to sleep and eventually nodded off myself. That was at about 12:15. I woke up again at 1:30 to the baby's soft grunts from across the room.

During that time I missed my husbad's call SIX times. And the phone was less than 12 inches from my head.

Sigh.

[ginger strong]

I had no idea when my husband would call and it had been about two weeks since his last call. By now I was sort of out of my "paranoid miss his call" phase and I just carried my phone everywhere in my pocket. My phone vibrates and has a special ring for my husband so I would be sure it was him. I was visiting my family and everyone had gone to pick up take out while I stayed home with my 12 year old brother. Well he had been really into magic tricks for several months and was in the process of showing them all to me. He wanted to show me his new handcuff trick he had been practicing (you can see where this is going right?) Anyway I held my hands out but he said I had to put them behind my back so I couldn't see what he was doing. Of course, he couldn't get them off and ran to get the key. Five seconds after he takes off my phone starts ringing (you guessed it) that magic ring. I started frantically yelling for my brother and took off in the direction he went while trying to squeeze my hands out of the handcuffs. My brother had gone in the garage to get the key out of one of the cars and I missed the call! It was horrible! On the message my husband said he was having a bad day and convinced his commander to let him quickly make the call just to hear my voice! It was another four days before he was able to call again! I haven't volunteered for any magic tricks since!

[Dee]

It takes me a few to awake from a deep sleep, it doesn't matter how high I turn the phone or how close I keep it. I remember looking at the clock around 11 one night, waking up the next day and realizing he'd called at 11:30 and I never budged. When those brief moments of hearing his voice is my fuel that keeps me going, realizing I'll be running on empty until he is able to call in a few more days is such a gut wretching feeling.