Dinner and Deployment: Like Oil and Water

At our house, Dad is beginning the deployment cycle.  He's been gone for progressively longer periods during the second half of the summer, and he's just left for a five week class.  We're gradually moving from "Dad home" to "Dad gone" routines.  For me, one of the most frustrating changes is dinner.  Actually, some things are easier:  I'm not trying to figure out if Dad will make it home, and I could conceivably serve the same easy thing several nights in a row.  In fact, I think the kids would kind of like it.  Which brings me to my problem:

What do we eat while Dad is gone?

To someone who has never faced this dilemma, it probably sounds pretty easy.  But au contraire, my friend.  It's not easy at all.  I see the two main choices as being:  a) the same things you eat when Dad is home, or b) a steady diet of kid food.  I have one friend who does a five day rotation when Dad is deployed:  chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, pizza, grilled cheese, and hot dogs.  Regardless of your thoughts on the nutrition of that menu, I just can't do it.  I can't feed my kids the same fast-food style meals for an entire year.  I object to the foods themselves, I object to the idea that my kids won't eat grown-up food, and I object to the concept that dinner doesn't matter because Dad is gone.

As you can see, I've rejected the kid food diet.  The other obvious choice is to continue cooking as if Dad is home.  That's just not going to happen.  I find it terribly frustrating to make nice meals when no one is going to appreciate them.  Of my four kids, I have one vegetarian (who doesn't like vegetables, but that's another post) and one who puts ketchup on everything.  That leaves two who might appreciate the value of a nice Garlic-Lime chicken or Spicy Orange Pork Chops, but they can't be counted on to like the same things twice anyway.

What's a girl to do?  I'm sure there is some happy medium that will make our entire family come running to the table with glee.  (Cue the Stove Top Stuffing commercial).  I would love to hear how our readers face the dinner dilemma, especially when the kid to adult ratio is running a little high.

Comments

[TarzansWife]

I am new to the Military life. My husband just joined the Navy but I can understand the dinner dilemma. My little ones are 8,6,4, and 6 months.I have found that the Kraft website (kraftfoods.com) seems to be the best. I like to let the kids pick some of the ideas. Kraft also has a free magizine to be mailed. I like that because then you can look at the pictures and decided if the kids will eat it. Their recipes usually are about 30 minutes or less. I hope this helps.
M

[She of the Sea]

Welcome to the Navy! We're glad that you've found us here at SpouseBUZZ. I will definitely go look at the Kraft website - I need all the ideas that I can find.

[liberal army wife]

I'll be cooking for one again, he's deploying at the beginning of next year (we just found out).. back to ratatouile and pasta.

LAW

[She of the Sea]

LAW, you bring up a whole 'nother post (see Sarah's from earlier this year.) Deployment and dinner is a dilemma, whether there are lots in your family, or just the two of you.

If only I could get my kids to eat ratatouille! I was hoping that silly movie would help, but it didn't.

[Amy K]

I know just how you feel She of Sea. My dh is gone alot when it comes time to eat dinner. So my solution is to cook a meal that I normal would cook the first night and let my little monkeys complain. Then the next night they get kid diet plan and mom eats the left over meal from the night before. I get a good meal again and kids are happy too.

[Marine Wife]

I mixed it up. I didn't "cook" every night b/c I knew how unappreciated it would be and how wearing that would be. However, I did need real or grown-up food on occasion. So I would cook 2 or 3 times a week (real meals like when dad was home). I tried to make things I knew my kids would like but occasionally I would make something because I wanted it. Then the other nights I'd either do kid food or take out (toward the end of the deployment I discovered both kids would eat Subway -- yes!) Occasionally, dinner would be sandwiches or breakfast food.

Regardless of what you decide to do, remember to cut yourself some slack. Deployments are like marathons, you've got to pace yourself. I, for one, was not about to knock myself out cooking gourmet meals every night just so I could sit at the table pleading with the kids to just take one bite.

[Ramie]

Dinner time is always a struggle too. I have two kids: one who'll try anything as long as there's no mayo, and one that wants ketchup on every kind of meat (and he calls them all hot dogs...he's 2). And I'm not a big fan of red meat....no ground beef at all if I can get away with it!

We tend to do chicken alot, as its very versatile.....I can make it into sandwiches, or serve it with pasta and sauce (tomato or alfredo). And when I get bored, I go to kraftfoods.com or dinnermadeeasy.com and pick something randomly.....it seems to work and has opened us to a few new "must eat" things.

We tend to do kid-friendly foods about 3 nights a week, and take out or fast food once a week when my hubby is gone.....and I try to plan those for the nights we have something going on (meetings, sports, etc) so that we aren't rushed anymore than the average family with kids is.

From 4:30pm til bedtime (8pm here) is the HARDEST part of the day......then the weekends are hard too...

Ramie

[Laura]

I have to cook for 7 even when he's gone... and the older ones don't want the kid foods every night. We have several dishes that Dad won't eat (can you say breakfast for dinner?!), so when he's gone we have those meals interspersed with our usual fare. Sometimes I even get adventurous and use the crockpot!

Some faves (in no particualr order):
Black beans and rice
Pancakes
Pizza bread
Expanded Hamburger helper
Stew
Any one-pot meals

[liberal army wife]

I'm not big on ground beef either - I will either insist on seeing it ground (we had a butcher who did that in MN) or grind it myself. I found ground turkey worked just as well for somethings, like tacos, etc, but sometimes you just NEED a real meat hamburger!I'm glad I don't have a little one to try to cajole, our son was the pickiest eater in the country - got on my last nerve with the requirements... This time, like last, it's me and the cat. and his pouches of mackerel with tuna - no thank you!

LAW

[JennH]

I have 2 kids, and I let them each "have" a day of the week that they are responsible for making dinner (with some help if they need it); otherwise anything that comes off the BBQ makes my kids happy. And if all else fails....Subway footlong sandwiches for everyone...save 1/2 for luch the next day :)

[Kori]

I have the dinner dilemma even when Dad IS home. Having a spouse home doesn't guarantee frequent family dinners. We have 8, 5, & 3 yr old sons.

I use the FamilyFun.com Month of Menus. It's posted the first of each month and I let each of my 3 sons choose a meal. They help prepare it and we eat it together as a family. Each Day includes a main meal, sides and dessert for every day of the month. All are kid-friendly and quick easy meals.

Some of our family's favorites are:
Hawaiian Skillet Chicken
Beef Taquitos with Confetti Rice
Asian Chicken Slaw
Buffalo Chicken Bites
Easy Oven Drumsticks
Beef & Broccoli Lo Mein

I try not to change the menu too much when Dad's gone but I tend to let the boys make their own meals.

[Slightly Salty]

Dinners for one are one of my least favorite things about deployment. It's just me, no kids, just a few paws in the house. Depending on my frame of mind on a given week, I'd get ambitious and cook a few meals on Sundays that could easily be reheated when I came home from work each day. That worked well, but again, it depended how motivated I was to pre-plan. Many other evenings consisted of soup, salad, nachos, popcorn, cereal, sandwiches, etc. Not that I'd advocate popcorn for dinner! Some evenings I was worn out from working then exercising the dogs and taking care of the house/yard, etc. that popcorn was about the only thing I had enough energy to fix. Sad but true.

[airforcewife]

I'm no help on this. We eat crap when AFG is gone. I've memorized the frozen food aisle at Sams at this point.

[liberal army wife]

I'll end up doing the cook large portions on the weekends (end of season is great for eggplant, zucchini, tomatoes etc) and freeze it in small containers. I'll start on one weekend, with ratatouille (my version) a vat o' bolognese, stew. then freeze them and just heat and serve. DH does the cooking on weekdays - I have a long commute and he doesn't. so I've been happily spoiled by a good cook. Wonder if he'll turn into the BBQ King he was last time he was in the Litterbox.

LAW

[P.D.]

I hate to admit it but during the last deployment we had a saying for nights when the stove or oven was actually turned on....... Woo Hoo Hot Food!!

[Reasa]

We do alot of stir fry, breakfast for dinner and whatever the kiddos want. Having to cook for 5 kiddos ranging in age from 17 down to 3 is hard. The older kiddos will cook a couple of nights and I will try to make something big that we can eat on for a couple of days. Of course I have been known to let the kiddos eat brownies for dinner or chips and salsa for breakfast. It all depends on how the week is going.

[army_wife]

We eat slightly healthier when DH is gone than we do when he's at home -- he's not into health food like I am, although he's warming up to it, and there are some fruits and vegetables he can't eat due to allergies/throat problems.

We eat very little packaged food (in fact, the only things I can think of that we buy already-made are condiments, organic spaghetti sauce, cold cereal, bread products, and a very VERY rare box of mac and cheese for emergencies). I make most meals from scratch. I have an infant (his meals are easy, he gets organic baby food from a jar) and a preschooler (about 3.75 years old). One thing I am careful of when my children are infants is to get them used to healthy food right from the start. Almost all the grain products in our house are whole grain. If you get them used to vegetables, fruits, and 100% whole grain breads/crackers early they will eat them. I'm amazed every time I see my three year old eat things like brussels sprouts and asparagus.

For breakfasts we generally tend to rotate between cold cereal (try to keep it minimally sweetened with as much whole grain as possible), oatmeal, cornmeal mush, eggs and toast, and once in a while homemade pancakes (no mix), a yogurt and fruit smoothie, or waffles. Lunches are usually leftovers from dinner the night before, or sandwiches (tuna, grilled cheese, nitrate-free and MSG-free lunchmeat, quesadillas on 100% whole grain wheat or corn tortillas, or PB and J with homemade jam and Smart Balance Omega-3 peanut butter).

Dinners vary. I like to cook and it could be anything from meatloaf and some sort of potato to roasted chicken to chicken tortilla soup (totally homemade, including the broth) with whole wheat dinner rolls, to grilled meat/veggies/fruit, to teriyaki chicken tacos on whole grain tortillas with fresh spinach instead of lettuce and BBQ black beans on the side, to fried brown rice with lots of vegetables. I try to get a big helping of vegetables in with both lunch and dinner and a good serving of fruit with breakfast and dinner (occasionally lunch as well). I've been slacking on the fruits and vegetables lately but I'm slowly getting back with it. Our vegetables are mostly frozen with some fresh thrown in, fruits are fresh when we can get them but occasionally we use frozen berries in a smoothie, dessert, or a berry sauce.

It's more difficult sometimes to put together healthy meals when DH is home because of the many things he can't (or won't) eat. I try to keep it pretty healthy most of the time but occasionally I'll break down and get some nitrate-free hot dogs to grill. Boxed macaroni and cheese is a very rare thing for us, I usually make it homemade.

I'm a foodie so it's hard not to overindulge in rich food though. I try to limit desserts quite a bit because when we have them around I tend to eat too much of them. For dessert, I like to make just about anything. Pie, cake, cookies/brownies, homemade ice cream, you get the idea. The only pre-made ice cream we really like is either Breyer's, Julie's Organics, or Ben and Jerry's.

I'm just glad my son will eat pretty much whatever he's given. The rule around here is eat what you're served--if you dont' like it we'll most likely have something you like better another night. When my kids get old enough to start making requests I will be letting them have a night maybe every week or 2 where they get to pick dinner.

Anyway... that's food at our house. LOL!

[army_wife]

Oh -- and I forgot to say that I still cook the same amount of food when DH is gone because we save the extras and I don't have to cook every single day that way. We just eat leftovers a day or two then I cook a day or two.

[Tressa]

Dinner time is the hardest at my house when DH is gone. When I was homeschooling, I would cook the kids something and retreat, but now that the kids are going to be going to school it may be different. I will want to sit and know how their day was. Anyway, I usually mix it up. A few days of kid food and a few days of grown up food. The grown up food was usually kid friendly.

I had to be realistic. I just don't enjoy cooking when DH is not home and some days I am up for it more than others. The days that I am just not up for it, I bring out the frozen stuff. If it had been a good day and I had planned, I would make a real meal. I found that inviting someone over for dinner helps. If you have someone over, you get grown-up conversation and real food at the same time.

[rjcmommy]

The two times that my DH was deployed, it meant that the cook in the family would no longer be home! I love to bake but can't stand to cook! I honeslty have to say that the first time he was gone the kids were 2 and 4 and I was pregnant and still working fulltime! I think that is how we survived that first deployment! We were never home and when we were, we got home late. We ate a lot of fast food! Sad thing was when DH was home for his R&R he was shocked that the 2 year old new where all the fastfood places were!

This last deployment (he returned May '08) was a bit different. I was no longer working and the kids ages were 3, 5 and 7. The older two were in school and that just left me and the 3 year old. I even managed to take some college courses! I did make more of the kid friendly dinners, and some consisted of cereal for dinner! Sometimes even pancakes! The one thing that I did different was cut back on the fast food! I actually bought a lot of the banquet meals at a dollar a box, and a good variety of entrees, it had made things so much easier. Can't beat feeding a family of four on just four dollars! Plus this way I knew the kids would get the vegetables they liked that I can't even stand in the same room with!!

Even now with DH home, the kids still like to eat the banquet entrees! Although I think it is because the older two have figured that they can "make" dinner since they have helped enough times to know how to work the microwave!!

As far as a "real" meal, we spent many Sundays at the Grandparents where my mom loves to cook and always makes enough for me to bring leftovers home for the kids and I for the next day! I also had a great neighbor with kids the same age, she would make extras for the kids and I. Let me tell you, I loved all the delicious smells that came from her home! She made a lot of Spanish dishes!

By the way, I didn't take the college classes just for academic reasons! I took them to be around more adults, so to speak, some of them were still teenagers!

[Jen]

I don't do anything differently when dh is gone then when he is home. I am very blessed to have four kids who are not picky eaters - it is actually dh who is the picky one in our house!

For those of you who have trouble with menu planning - try Saving Dinner. (www-dot-savingdinner-dot-com). For under $10 for 3 months, you get a weekly menu AND shopping list. They are extremely healthy, and in over 3 years, we've had TWO that we didn't like (and they both had artichokes in them). I LOVE it. It comes in several versions - we use the 6 serving one - but it also comes in a 2 serving version as well as one for weight loss. Check it out!!

[kirsten]

Good luck with this class and impending deployment.

The best thing that worked for me (still does) is having a menu plan on the fridge. I love hitting sales and clearances and end up with a bunch of meat in the freezer, so once a month or quarter I go through the freezer and make a list of all the possible entrees I can make with what I have on hand. And reorganize while I am at it. I get the weekly planner paper tablets from AC Moore and stick them onto the fridge.

My 10 yr old loves to know what's coming up on the menu schedule. I love not having to *think* some days, just do what it says.

I make foods my kids like a couple of times a week, make a kid pizza and a grown up pizza every Friday, and make food I feel like eating every once in a while . . . last deployment I discovered soups in the crock pot. If I pureed it, they'd eat anything I served-even Greens 'n All Beet Soup!

My kids also learned how to use the can opener (more soup!) and one of our favorite 'I'm worn out and cannot deal with dinner' dinners was popcorn, apple slices, cheese cubes, and carrots sticks eaten while watching a movie together.

I'm lucky they love leftovers.

Right now the hubby is home, and I've got dinners planned into *next* month. Even if I don't cook everything on the plan, I know I've got the stuff to do it and can easily swap out entrees with another night.

[cindy]

Dinner time can be a perfect time to establish some traditions that will help make the times when Dad is gone a little more fun for the kids. Having breakfast foods at dinner time is one tradition I started when my kids were little. They're teens now but they still look forward to getting to eat French toast for dinner whenever their dad is in the field, TDY or deployed.
Take care and best wishes to you!

[Amy]

While my husband is gone we do a lot of "one pot meals". We'll do frozen entrees, or the meal in a box deals or something along those lines. Of course the main reason we do this is because right now we have soccer practice 3 nights a week so it doesn't leave much time for cooking anything more then that. And then by Friday, I'm exhausted so we normally order out :-)

[Blair]

All this sounds real nice but 'round here we don't cook to appease the kids. I make what I want 5 out of 7 days a week and if they don't eat what I cook on "my" days then they must not be hungry.

[Lori]

I used to have that attitude of not appeasing the kids when it came to meals as well. Now, I've given in and given up on it. It's too much of a whine fest. I myself prefer not to even eat dinner anyways.

This is our 3rd deployment, 2nd in the last 3 years. This time around my oldest (13) is old enough to cook just about anything he wants, and I taught the younger boys (5 and 6) how to make their favourite kid meals. Between the 3 of them there is someone who is capable of making any meal they desire, so they make their own dinners. I find everyone is happier this way and nobody whines about not liking their dinner.

Twice a payday I try out a new dad suitable dish and endure the battle of making everyone try it, and on weekends we do take-out's.

[K]

Hello, everyone. I'm totally new to being a military spouse, and my husband was just deployed so I've been so depressed from not having here that I have NOT cooked at all, and so my 8 yr old just gets in there and fix her ramien noodles since I make sure I'm stocked up on them. How do you cope with these deployments?

[DLM]

I have a huge problem with dinner also. I am a veggie girl and kids love both sides of each of us. My hubby is a big meat guy but, he still likes some veggies. At least he has been eating more now that we have kids. When hubby is gone I make home cooked meals 5 nights a week and one left over night and one night to eat out. Most days I will be willing to eat left overs for lunch the next day. I am a stay at home mom. I have two kids in school and one at home with me but, still eats from a jar. Having someone cater one night a week would be awesome. I usually can fix hotdogs or meatballs or chicken nuggets but, no redmeat.

[DLM]

Hi K, I have three kids, 8yr,6yr and baby.
Just try to stick to the same schedule as when hubby was still home. We keep busy doing projects. We paint and do crafts, we keep busy during the week it just gets really lonely on a saturday and sunday. I take the kids to the park and see couple with kids at the park playing together. I try to keep the kids active. One takes gymnastics and both play soccer. And my son is in cubscouts too. I have a huge problem when my friends talk about when a band comes to town and they are going with hubby or they talk about what new food they tried downtown with their hubby. I get very upset I don't have him here to do grownup stuff with.

[Christina]

I love to cook and here at the house I also have 4 under the age of 9. Sometimes they love to eat a "fancy meal", but that is usually if they help me cook it. That is fine with me as long as they are eating, but we do have meals that we love to make that are simple. For example, Mac & Cheese, tuna, and peas altogether has always been a favorite since I was a child and it has all the ingredients of a full course meal. Also just cooking a small roast on the stovetop and then adding some seashell noodles or eggnoodles to the water to flavor them. I just try to keep the kids more involved with the dinners, we do plan menus for up to two weeks that way we always know what is going on. Just to keep some order in this crazy household. If you need more ideas, I would love to help you. You can email me at nothevil2@yahoo.com. Good luck.

[Katie]

Hey,K,
Deployments are a way of life for us, I guess. I've been married 7 years, as of this past sat. He wasn't here, of course. He's currently stationed in Japan for two years. Now, he tells me that he wants to go to Iraq in stead. UGH! Anyway, I took the kids to dinner and then to "Monster Truck show" for my anniversary. What a blast! My daughter (4)liked it more than my son (6) I think. I couldn't believe it. Anyway, I have discovered that if I rediscover my kids when he's gone, that life is easier when he's back. We do things together all the time when he's not here. So, when he comes home, we have ideas to try with him. The kids bring up the ideas when he comes home. I try to be creative with what I get them involved in, too. I had them in pottery class, bible school, and swim class over the summer. That stuff gave them something to look forward to. Good luck to you.

[Amanda]

On a side note, how many of you call your husband "Dad?" My husband and I promised each other that we would never refer to each other as "Dad" and "Mom" unless we were speaking directly to our children. I think we need to keep our identities as husband and wife, not just be parents and nothing else. What is your view?

[alaskancoppertop]

I refuse to cook kid food for my children, before or after the divorce. I just made it simple even when we were married... when I cook, it is all simple. Why make lime chicken, when you can just make plain ole chicken and let them top it with their ketchup or BBQ sauce. That way they are getting good healthy food, you are not killing yourself making "Dad" food that they won't appreciate, and they can add toppings to it to make it "taste good" to them. Same thing with other foods... I like to just make meatloaf with the seasoning packets in the stores, heat up ham steaks in the frying pan and toss in a side of veggies or something, every so often buy a turkey and use leftovers to make simple leftover dinners or sandwiches, etc.

[navywiferetired]

Really enjoyed the comments .Brought back memories of the life and times that I knew well for 22years. Trying to stretch the budget to something besides beany weenies for supper and fruit loops for breakfast was always a trial. Kids aren't impressed with Duck 'la Orange , that you would love . When Daddy was home they would eat anything !Moving was a delight( haha) that I won't forget the trying to do with the meals and lack of cooking gear - we didn't have crockpots and microwaves for speedy stuff. My husband now deceased used to chuckle about the Ham Spam dinners and Mac and cheese that came so that you could use one pot and paper plates . Ah those were the good old days !!! And moving to Northern Fla.when we thought that it would be balmy -yes the coldest weather in some time greeted us in a house,that we secured but not the time to get to their company to arrange for heat to be turned on . Love those TV dinners , and there was a choice . Yeah but whats for breakfast . Local fast food !
Hang in there . We made it thru all of it .

Navy wife retired.

[Army wife experienced]

I've been doing this a long time. Im down to the last two kids out of 6. "Dad gone" has been a part of life for17
years. The kids eat either kid food, when I feel like It I cook, when the kids start getting big enough to prepare
a meal or parts of a meal- to include frozen pizza, they cook, when you feel like it go out. When Dad is gone, dinner is stress free. Pancakes, Green eggs and ham whatever you like. And when Dad comes home he can cook for you!

[cara]

Ahh.. dinner's while Dad is gone! One thing that always has helped me was having a list of meals that I make on the fridge. Its just a WORD document, and if we try something new and like it, it's added to the list. Then before I go to the Commissary, we sit at the table and pick out meals. I cook pretty much the same when he's gone as when he's home, just allowing for leftovers a little more often. We have pizza every Friday night, even if its frozen. Some nights its clean out the fridge night. I like to make things like Vegetable Beef Soup, White Beans with Ham, Chili, Pot Roast in the crock pot.. that way I can fix it in the morning (or even the night before, stick your crock in the fridge, take it out in the morning.) I mix up the leftovers.. save them for Soup and Sandwich night, Chili over hot dogs or burgers, or on nacho's,even mixed with cheese for dip, Stew with the Pot Roast. We have a salad almost every night, and fruit for dessert. On Sunday's we always have Brunch at around noon, it's the meal of the day. Then for dinner that night, it's fend for yourself; popcorn, cereal, bagel.. whatever! My kids love pasta salad, so I will make a huge one with chicken or pepperoni and add lots of veggies. I know it's hard to cook as much, but it's good for the kids to have some normal meals.

[jesses_wife]

I had the hardest time figuring out what to make when my husband was gone. I tried so hard to eat healthy, well rounded meals, but who wants to sit down and eat a nice meal alone. My sister-in-law lived with me during the deployment, so we experiemented with some new meals.
Though I don't have any kids of my own (yet), my advice as to what to cook when dad is gone would be to keep it simple but healthy. Lots of carrots and ranch dressing or crackers and cheese kind of stuff. Hamburger Helper can be easy yet healthy if you add some veggies and a salad. The kids (and you) know dad is gone, so cooking the foods only he likes won't really make it any easier. I tried to do that, but it only made me miss my husband more.

[K]

Thanks, all for the pep talk. I really appreciate it. I really thought I could do this deployment thing, but I'm losing focus so quickly and as much as I want to stay positive its a bit hard considering he will be deployed for 6 months. So can I only talk about food here? Cause trust me when I say the least of my concern is "FOOD"...

[jesses_wife]

Hi K,
You'll make it! I know how hard it is. My hubby left 1 month after we were married. It was like I just got used to living with him and then he was gone. Don't lose focus. My husband was gone for a whole year! Use this time to reconnect with your family or some old girlfriends. My sister in law moved in with me during the deployment, so we had losts of "girls nights". We had hair dying parties (well maybe more like fiascos, haha). My apartment floor has so many different hair dye spots on it I thought he would be mad when he came home :) Do some extra special things with your daughter. Go apple picking this fall. Have a makeover night. You can't keep focusing on him being gone. I remember when my husband first left I cried myself to sleep for a long time. I had to realize that he was in God's hands. My tears and stress couldn't bring him home and wouldn't keep him any safer. When I finally put him in God's hands (which by the way wasn't until about halfway through the deployment) life was so much easier. When I was happy so was he. When I could be strong again and he wan't so worried about me crying myself to sleep each night, it was easier for him to focus on his job. Just pray for his safety and trust that God will take care of him. There will be tough times still, but you will be able to work through them if you have something to hold on to.

[K]

Thanks Jesses, I really appreciate it. Its good to get some encouragment from someone who's been in my shoes. We were married and then he was deployed also so we have NOT had the chance to experience married life yet. I'm in school so I need to get my mind right quick especially with having only 3 classes left before graduation. So I will do as you suggest which is pray and just leave it with God and focus on me getting our of school. Thanks again.

[She of the Sea]

K, it is always a new adventure when your loved one is deployed! Most of us here at SpouseBUZZ have been there, and usually more than once. You will always find a friendly voice here. I'm so glad you've found us.

[Mar]

I don’t, nor did I ever, have much of a problem with the kid’s food dilemma. My kids are no longer children, ages 16, 17 and 20; I will tell you some things that made my life easy regarding meals.
1. Kids like to eat what is familiar to them.
2. Kids need to recognize what something is.
3. Kids need to see something about 15 times before they might open their mind to what it is.
4. In our house we talked about what the meal was made of. We talked about beef comes from a cow; pork is pig, eggs and chickens – all of these items we would talk about where in the animal the product comes from. Does the fruit or veggie grow in a tree, bush or was it a root.
5. Soda Pop was a rare treat at our house, and still is. Even now in restaurants my kids usually order water to drink.
6. Let them play with their food! Our kids loved the book “The Giving Tree”by Shel Silverstein; their broccoli was the Giving Tree they first ate the apples then the branches, then the trunk. It took them quiet a while to eat their broccoli, but it was always with a smile.
7. A person’s stomach is roughly the size of their fist. What adults consider a few bites can be a full meal for a child. When they say they won’t eat any more ask yourself. Did they eat about the amount equal to the size of their fist?
8. I told my children a number of times; this is what we are having for dinner. You do not have to like it but this is what I am serving. I would like you to at least taste each item, but it is up to you if you eat it or not, but this is your next meal. My job is not to make you eat; my job is to prepare a nutritious meal and place it before you. It is ok if you are not hungry, I can put it into the refrigerator and we can heat it up in the microwave if you are hungry before the next meal.
9. I make out a menu for the month and include snacks. Everyone learned that it was a flexible menu the meal might not fall on the day it was scheduled for or there might be a few substitutions here and there. This allowed the kids have input in the meals. They learned if they did not make suggestions other people got their choices. The family table is not a restaurant. I am not preparing different dishes for each person; we eat what is cooked for dinner.
10. Remember kids sometimes like things we do not, or that we would never in a million years guess they would choose to eat on their own. Do not assume they won’t like something and NEVER tell them they won’t like it, or don’t eat that when it comes to what we assume are “grown-up” foods.
11. My kids have adult cousins who only eat chicken nuggets and other “kid meals” My kids have come back to me and thanked me for telling them, “It is up to you, but why don’t you a bite.” As well as, “It’s been a while since you tried that, maybe try it again your taste change as you grow older.”

Just as using “baby talk” with children in the end handicaps their vocabulary so to does feeding them a diet of “kid’s food” handicaps their pallet and adjustability to life. I chose not to battle with my children over meals; but I also chose not give in to childish whims. Yes there were a few tears at dinner, but in all actuality they were very few. I have taken the time to teach my children to cook as well. Now when Dad deploys, who ever gets hungry first is usually the one to cook dinner.

[Mar]

DML:

Just curious about your hot dogs and meat balls what are you using that do not contain red meat?

~M