My Dear Husband will never make General, Reason 4,375

I will caveat this with my DH would make a great General. (Cough* hint cough*)

I on the other hand, will not make a good General's wife.

Where do I begin? This will certainly be a post in which there are more stories to add as long as I am alive.

I am not demure. I have mentioned this before. I am never in the crowd that drops names, or rank. We do not gossip at home about what news we here from post. So I am the clueless wife, and I like it that way.

So here is where I am going to take one for the team. And give you some advice, which none of you need, because no one would act this goofy in public except for me.

About 7 years ago we arrived here at our new duty station, I knew a handful of folks.

This was about the same time we were invited to attend the annual ball, and convention. Wow a weekend, in a hotel a getaway fun. Until I discovered I had forgotten my hairspray at 7am, and I had to prepare myself for the womens breakfast. Ouch...

My DH, yeah he does not use hairspray. That option was out.

DH suggested our very metrosexual friend Todd may have hairspray. "Of course Todd will have hairspray, he spends more time on his hair than I do. Of course".

Let me mention here that Todd and I liked to joke around with one another......terrible practical jokes, and zingers. These jokes, and zingers usually left me in the position of victor.

So I call Todd's cell phone, and find out that he indeed has hairspray, I just have to go to his room to get it. Room 278, to be exact. So I head down in my suit, with a towel on my head, and I bang on his door. But now the very demure AWTM, could not just bang on the door, I had to say a few expletives while knocking. (I knew better, in hindsight).

So here I was standing with a towel on my head banging, and swearing on the door and thinking I am all funny at 7:30am.

Man in underwear with a hangover from the nights previous party: "You must have the wrong room".

AWTM: "Yeah, I do, uh uh sorry"

Man in underwear with a hangover from the nights previous party: "Yeah, that is my wife puking, I gotta go."

Let me just say this man was not amused with my appearance.

I call Todd back, to find him rolling in laughter, as I tell him I just was at a room and saw a man in his underpants.

I go to Todd's room, get the hairspray, and finish preparing myself for the mornings events, and I tell my poor DH my misadventure.

DH did not think anything of it, until I pointed the guy out later.

Yeah, that would be one of the Commanding Officers....

And as my luck would have it, we happened to cross paths the entire weekend.

Ouch....

Comments

[Laura, a Military Mom]

lol...guess those practical jokes come back at you when you least expect them!

[Non-Essential Equipment]

Oh, I don't know. At one ball, the Brigade Commander's wife was so drunk that she kept flashing her ass while she was dancing (apparently, her dress required her to go commando).

[Andi]

I'm cracking up because I can sooo picture this happening.

My husband is attending a course. When we first moved here, they held a reception at the General's house for the entire post (his home is a site to see, btw). We were making our way through the receiving line chatting with everyone. The General asked me, "what do you do, Andi? I've only spoken to a General once before. That was at Walter Reed and was a chance meeting, so the question totally threw me off guard. I proceeded to tell him what Mr. Andi does. As if he didn't know.

I had been joking with Mr. Andi about the General telling the wives that their spouses won't have to go to class every day. It was a joke. Mr. Andi then tells the General, "Andi says you told the spouses that we can pick and choose when we go to class. I'm going to like it here, sir." Something along those lines. The General didn't say that. It was a joke.

Yeah....

Maybe I should have added that I write for a site where we tell stories about meeting Generals and my idiotic reply would make great blog fodder.

Well, looks like I'll see him again in a few days at another function. I'm sooo hoping for a shot at redemption, but I'm not optimistic...

[airforcewife]

Oh, I have so much to add to this series.

Yes indeed I do.

But this is one of the best stories I've heard in a LONG time. :)

[Lisa]

Thank you; I really needed the laugh this morning. It has been one of those days at work. Have a wonderful day.

[ammowife]

That is priceless.......that is a great story.

[liberal army wife]

oh man... that one tops anything I mighta had.

LAW

[Marine Wife]

I didn't change my name when we got married. Now Stretch says he likes that we have different names: When I start trouble on base, it takes longer to track down who my husband is.

[Chris Schaffner]

Found your blog and thought you'd appreciate this song about a little girl who asks Santa to bring her daddy home for Christmas.

http://www.bringhimhomesanta.com

[John Ellis]

For our Military friends and family our hearts go out to you during this holiday season. WWW.HOMESICKGI.COM was created epically for you. Check it out today!

[MrsD]

Oh, Marine Wife, that honestly made me laugh out loud. I will NOT show it to DH. He will make me change my name back! (We may be National Guard, but we live near base and he works on base. LOTS of opportunities for me to start trouble!)

[Green]

Oh... snap!

[blueSchatzy]

Oh, I hear it from my DH when I start trouble... makes me feel like ______