Deep breaths. Deeeeeep breaths.....

This was my internal mantra while on the 2nd panel at SBL3 in Fayetteville.  After about 2 sentences, I started crying and surprised the heck out of myself.  I mean, DH was wounded 2 1/2 YEARS ago and I still manage to get emotional (at the most unexpected moments).

Fortunately, I had my SB family (and my awesome mother-in-law) there with me and I was able to gather myself together. 

If you attended SBL3, I want to thank you all for coming to meet us and taking time for your SELF by getting out and hangin' with other milspouses.  I know this is something I don't do near enough.  And, as was discussed at SBL3, it is soooooo important to do something for ourselves every now and then.  WE deserve a break.  WE deserve some pampering and laughter outside of the confines of our daily lives.

On that very same panel, I found my "inner wonder woman" and started talking about taking charge of (your) lives and doing something for YOU.  There is so much we can't control in the military, as Guard Wife mentioned in her incredibly funny and oh-so-true way.  But we can take some control of our aspirations and begin a path for ourselves.

Currently, I am one week away from completing my Master's degree.  I started my "tour" in grad school over 4 years ago (August 2003).  My son was 3 1/2 years old and my daughter was only 5 months.  I struggled, my family made many sacrifices, my husband was wounded (I took 7 months off), and we moved (i.e. apply to a new school and transfer credits).  There were many times that I thought I would NEVER finish school.  And believe me, I got pretty depressed about it.  But I continued to fight my way through.  And now, the light is shining bright at the end of the tunnel.

So here's my point: go out and take charge of your life.  Go to school (or go back and finish).  Start a new career or get back into a career you have put on hold.  Learn some new skills.  Volunteer.  Stay home with the kids.  Whatever you aspire to do, find your inner wonder woman (or inner super man) and go kick some butt!!!  It may take some time, but it will sooooo pay off in the end.  Trust me!

So what are your aspirations?  Or have you already aspired to something and want to tell us about it?  We want to know how your inner wonder woman/super man has lead you to a more fulfilling life.

Trust me, if I can do this, ANYone can!  Just be stubborn and persistent (don't forget cry and laugh every now and then... that helps too).

Comments

[Marine Wife]

You are an inspiration!

[Heather S.]

I am 2 semesters from finishing grad school myself. I absolutely cannot wait! Sometimes I wonder if I'll make it. Most of the time I know that I will.

What I aspire to MOST, though, is being a stay-at-home-Mommy. I want to be a homemaker. It is kind of hard to admit this. I feel like I might be accused of setting women's lib back a few notches. But what I really want to do the very most of all is to move with hubby (when he gets back) and set up a lovely home and routine and start having babies!

To that end, I am practicing healthy recipes, gathering family and homemaking tips, and looking for a place to move to that is in a nice neighborhood and has a little "growing room!"

[Joan D'Arc]

Marine Wife, thank you for your kind words.

Heather, I give you MANY kudos for being so close to graduation and then having the desire to stay home w/ your (future) children. I have to say that being a stay-at-home mom was NOT my forte. I love my kids to the ends of the earth, but after a certain amount of time I really needed something outside of the house. I give you my best through the rest of school. You CAN make it to the end... and I'll be cheering you on all the way! :)

[Andi]

Your pep talk was wonderful, and inspiring.

I swear, we're going to have one of these events where I don't make someone cry...o

[Reasa]

I am finishing up my first semster of college. I am loving it and finally figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. A lawyer. My Hubby and Kiddos are wonderful about it. I have had to deal with the guilt of missing PTA, performaces and bedtime routines,but it is worth it though to be able to finaly live my dream of finishing college and becoming a kick butt lawyer.

Thanks for posting this.

[Semper Fi Wife]

You were amazing...I know it wasn't fun for you to cry but I swear..it was the most uplifting conversation. You were inspiring, Joan D'Arc.

[wifeunit]

It was amazing to hear your story in person. And the emotion there was powerful. So was your will to control it. And I must say it was funny to look over to your reaction to some of the things your mother in law was saying too.

It meant so much to me to hear more from you and everyone else later that day about how I am not alone with my feelings of guilt and selfishness over knowing that my husband coming home means another family is going to suffer/survive these overwhelming emotions but still wanting it anyway
or as awful as it is to put down in words that another person's injury brings some level of relief that my husband is still safe.

It is a weird thing this emotional deployment rollercoaster. I am just so glad to have met people helping me navigate my way though with some level of sanity and belief in my self intact.

[Heather S.]

Joan--thank you so much! I'll need some of those cheers around cruch time! :-) Congrats to you!!!! How awesome! I'm so glad that you are following your instincts and doing what is right for you and your family! It's pretty weird to be discovering that I want to be "Heather Homemaker" as I'm finishing up my master's degree. BUT, there will be a time when the kids get a bit older when I will want to use my degree. (I hope!)

Reasa--good for you for going back to school! Keep following that dream! You can do it!

wifeunit--I second the weird deployment emotional rollercoaster thing! I'm ready to get off for a while and have some emotional rest!

[liberal army wife]

Andi - yeah, likes thats gonna happen...

Joan, Heather - kudos to both of you. As for staying home.. I did that when my kid was little.. went nuts. I admire those who can and enjoy it. I feel bad for those who want to do it, but can't afford to.

LAW

[Nikki]

I graduated this May with dual associate degrees (resulting from a change in major brought on by a PCS). And wouldn't you know it, I graduated exactly 3 weeks before I PCS'd again. My house was in chaos, I had to deal with TMO, get the apartment clean, plan an early birthday party for my son, and on top of it all, I was taking finals! I was utterly useless by the time our stuff was out of the apartment.

Now I'm fence-sitting on whether or not to start the Bachelor NOW, or wait to see what the Hubs does with the military. I don't want to be almost a year in and have to transfer yet again.

And on that note, does anyone have any input on Online degrees? I'm looking at several, but I think I'd really miss the give-and-take one gets from actual, in-class discussions.

Any opinions would be great. And thanks for all the good advice and pep talks this board offers. It's really helpful, even to us "lurkers" =).

[wifeunit]

University of Maryland University College has a great online program. Many military members are enrolled there. I have heard of people being able to keep up with classes during their deployments. I had a bunch of girls enrolled from a Ukrainian university in one accounting glasses. It is definitely global and portable. I think it is a step up from a cracker jack university degree but maybe that is just wishful thinking. I didnt investigate it too much. I think it is umuc.edu .

Hope that helps.

[Cassandra]

FWIW, it took me 10 years to get my bachelors, between moving around, working, volunteering and raising two boys but I finally did it. I decided never to leave a duty station without a diploma of some sort in my hot little hand - I got one AA, then a 2nd (leveraging credits from the 1st) then used credits from my 2 AAs towards my BS degree. With a little intelligent planning you don't waste any classes and you end up with something on your resume while you're working towards your degree. The two AAs helped me get better jobs and scholarships along the way.

[winnerin]

Dear Joan D'Arc,

I wanted to tell you this in Fayetteville, but I didn't. So, now is the time :-)

I remember you saying that you were sorry for crying (more than once). Don't be. Your emotions are the biggest gift you can give. They are part of who you are. Be thankful for beeing able to feel and show them, but never appologize! Thank you for sharing your story!