Don’t Come in My House!

I live in base housing.

There are many good things about base housing – which is why we chose it.  It’s nice for AirForceGuy to live close to work, although that kind of backfires when he is the one that ALWAYS gets called in.  It’s also nice for me to feel it is safe to let my kids go play at the park without having to hover over them like some sort of bloodhound.  I like knowing that people have to follow rules – like turning the volume on their booming car down when they are driving down the street (at 20 miles per hour) at 1 am.  I like that people’s dogs have to be on the leash – although there is a certain person down the street from me that keeps letting their mini-poodle out to poop in my yard.

But base housing also definitely has its bad side. 

We are currently less than 30 days from checking out of base housing for a move.  As a part of that process, I had to call in approximately ten work orders that had to be on file in order to move without having to pay for the parts of the house that are falling down around our ears.

The first workman came to fix the handles on my doors and cabinets this morning.  And I stayed up after midnight last night cleaning the house within an inch of its lead-painted life for fear that someone might think I live in utter filth.

I’m not sure what it is, but I have an un-healthy amount of fear when it comes to the housing people entering my quarters.  I’m a relatively clean person – I wipie off my baseboards at least once a week.  I wipe down all my cupboards every Friday morning while I’m making breakfast.  I think I single-handedly put the children of anyone employed with the production of Magic Eraser through college, I go through so many of the things.

But just a hint that someone from housing has to come fix something and I go into full scrub mode.  The Magic Erasers are lined up, the Oxi-Clean makes its appearance, and the Goo-Gone is purchased in bulk.

I think it might be because our housing is in such awful shape to begin with.  There’s only so much cleanliness can accomplish – eventually someone is going to notice that although there are no fingerprints on that wall, the paint is blistered and it smells like mold.  And we’re not even going to touch the bathroom grout in this humid environment.  There is only so much twice weekly bouts with the Scrubbing Bubbles will do.

I have to wonder if I’m the only one with a fear of the Housing People that borders on the pathological.  I spent the entire time my cabinet handles were being replaced today apologizing for the mismatched tiles on the floor!

I wonder if I can steel myself to just tell the next housing person that visits, "Look, these quarters suck."  I doubt it. 

About the Author


airforcewife started her military journey as an Army National Guard wife, but upon experiencing base housing decided to aim high and made the switch to the Air Force. That's worked pretty well for Air Force Family so far, even though airforcewife holds the spouse world record for Come to Jesus talks with various members of the command.

Air Force Family has four children, two pit bulls, and a Mother-in-Law who lost her mind eight years ago. Despite the reputation of pit bulls, airforcewife would like to assure you that her Mother-in-Law is truly the most dangerous of the group, and is banned in more places than the dogs.

airforcewife gets through Air Force Guy's frequent deployments and TDY's by frequently attending her boxing gym, after the chance discovery last deployment that hitting things really does make life better. She also volunteers as the Ambassador for Sew Much Comfort to Bethesda National Naval Medical Center and in a variety of other causes throughout the year.

airforcewife has no idea what the future holds, but decided five years ago that she wants to be Andi when she grows up.

  • I am the same way when Housing is coming to fix something- OMG, get out the cleaning supply bucket because I have to get to cleaning for fear that they will ‘report’ me or something.
    I will never forget the day my husband called them to fix the sink sprayer and didn’t tell me. They came and there were *gasp* dirty dishes in the sink. I was SO embarrassed. I kept apologizing and the guy just laughed at me. And made me feel a little better because he said my house was surgical clean compared to most he has been in.

  • Andi

    People never believe me, or they look at me like I have two heads, when I tell them we’ve never lived on-post.
    Try getting quarters in areas where housing is tight when you don’t have children. They practically laugh you out of the housing office. We gave up about two duty stations ago.
    I just live vicariously though you, afw…

  • HH7

    Ahhh on post housing. Loved it as a kid, hate it as a wife. Been there, done that, never again…at least at our current duty station.

  • Rick

    I can relate to the checking out of housing problem. In ’82 I kept failing the inspection because of that red clay like stuff that permeates everything at Schofield Barracks in Hawaii. After the third failure I finally went to my Cav Squadron and borrowed the big heavy duty buffer the guys used to polish the floors with. Got me a big heavy duty brush that fit it, a gallon jug of Lime Away and went to town on that floor. Finally passed that part and the inspector then failed me for the same problem on the outside entryway and sidewalk. I wound up getting a couple more gallons of the Lime Away and “buffing” half the sidewalk on our culdesac. Finally pased after five inspections. Never moved into base housing again.

  • Kel

    You must have read my mind.. I have mold in the upstairs central air unit. Mostly due to the humidity and the condensation in this area. So housing is going to send someone within the next 5 business days to deal with it @@ talk about vague time frame.. So for 5 days my house has got to be spotless. which includes all toilets and under hte kids beds where i am positive they will not look but just to be safe I have to evacuate those furocious dust bunnies.. they might eat hte maintenace man and itll be another month before my order gets take care But i clean like a fiend any time i need to call them out to my hosue. It is a ritual I wish i did not have to do and Gunbunny wonders why i bother whith.. but I swear he is blind to the fingerprints and the dust on baseboards…lol

  • Jewel

    I can laugh now, but was horrified when it happended…maintenance came to fix something or other at our on-base house at our last duty station. Things were going swell until the maintenance guy stepped on a fresh hairball from my cat as he was leaving through the front door. To my defense the hairball blended perfectly with the oriental rug I had lying on the floor right by the door. Boy was I embarrassed!!

  • dizzylizzie

    first experience on post for us, gotta say it will be the last.
    helped my next door neighbor clear housing over the weekend. my my my…that was interesting.
    jan 1st they’re supposed to start billing us for utilities. i’m waiting to watch the mass exodus off post. LOL

  • You mention Magic Erasers in your post, and let me tell you how much I’m a believer too! My wife bought one and I thought it such a waste, but after getting some of the worst grime off our best things, I want to buy STOCK in it!

  • Sandy

    Ahhhh…the dreaded yet necessary maint. people! LOL! I avoid them as much as possible…they make me nervous too.
    We had a shower leak into our master bedroom two days after move-in on a weekend. Boy, that was fun. The maint. people were nice though.
    I must say that I prefer the privatized maint. over the military maint.

  • Kel

    Jason, I have to agree.. LOl with 5 kids i need stock in those.. they sell a large amount for a decent price at sams bbtw..
    I bought these for my SIL for xmas when her daughter turned 2.. she was like what is this baout.. i said.. watch and see.. she called me 2 months later thanking me..LOL

  • Anonymous

    ahh the living on base blues i love military housing so far lol then there are those suprise things like to get a bigger apartment in the same area before they put your paper work through theres a suprise inspection doo dah doo dah lol i loved military housing as a kid i always felt safe well cept for around 911 i was afraid wed get hit lol and let see as a wife i love it because i just feel safer i watch the news and like 10 new people are dead and theres a rapist and my DH wonders why i want to stay on base? O.o;; lol and i thought it was a no brainer especially with him gone so much. but ive found that yes when they come to fix somehting i do freak out but the guys are usually nice lol and if you have a question or something they have some pretty good tips on how to deal with some things like hard water spots from dishwashers lol but yeah i especially like our emergancy maintance dude yet i feel sorry for him for the last tie he had to come lol out tug clogged and lol i had just thrown up in it (preggo crap) lol and it wouldnt go down so we called lol and he was so nice about it him and my DH had a discussion about pregnant wives lol he also offered his help if i needed anything while DH was deployed lol.