Just when I think I cannot laugh harder

I can.

This month has been about perspective for me. you will note I have not been blogging much over here at SpouseBuzz. And let me tell you here, it was not because I didn't have anything to say. I simply wasn't sure how to say it. Sometimes it can be hard, to write at SpouseBuzz. SpouseBuzz is a SUPPORT forum, a place to go where we and our readers feel like they are not ALONE. Saying it honestly, has become the most important thing to me right now. But oh....honesty can be painful.

My DH has recently departed for some military training at Fort Benning. We were prepared for a 3 month absence. We really were. After an 18 month deployment, 3 months seemed "very doable". However 6 days before the school started, the lovely folks at Fort Benning sent DH an e-mail explaining that the 3 months accelerated course, was now a 6 month course. Ouch.

6 days to prepare for a 6 month absence. Ick.

Please note here we are the King and Queen of preparedness. We really are. Our family is prepared for a disaster. We have water, food, fuel, supplies, etc. We are poster children for preparedness. However I feel as if we were not quite prepared for an absence of this magnitude. Not now. We were prepared for 3 months, not 6. And as odd as it sounds, there is a difference.

Of course, a couple of things went wacky week one of DH's absence. Typical kind of stuff. And even with almost 16 years of marriage under my belt, there was a little screaming and kicking, and a small pity party. (no attendees thank goodness).

Above all of that, I will tell you all what has been occupying the corners of my mind, above all else.

I am amazed at the most recent generation of mil-spouses. AMAZED, with these young women and men.

I am after all, 36 years old. In mil-wife years, that is like 106 to the freash faced 20-somethings....as painful as it is, I will accept that reality. I will also add here, that I have a decent support system in place, although I am a National Guard wife, with geographical limitations. I am 36, I have a plethera of life experiance to give me excellent perspective. I have been through separations, due to deployments, I have lost family, I have been a hospice nurse...I have seen stuff. I am glad for all of the perspective that has given me. I am what I would consider a strong person.

However, I am left amazed at this new generation of mil-spouses, and those that serve. Many of them being spearated longer than together, those young couples that are on the third and fourth deployments. Those wives, that have had to celebrate every anniversary, every birthday ALONE.

This month ladies and gentelmen, this lady takes her hat off to each of you. You are truly amazing and inspiring. You have my respect and adoration. You are doing it with you heads held high, and grace. I am proud of you.

Comments

[Butterfly Wife]

While I'm almost as "old" as AWTM, I am relatively new to this military lifestyle. I agree whole-heartedly with AWTM about the younger spouses. Thanks for reminding me that I don't have to look up the age chart to find wisdom.

[LAW]

ok, children.. I'm gonna be 50 in a couple of weeks. The kids in our National Guard unit are incredible. I see my young friends, who are bringing up little kids who think daddy lives in the computer because they see webcam of him... and they are coping. the extension did hit them hard, but they are still managing. amazing.

LAW

[mandyp]

WOW, while I agree completely, I really was attached to the part about" after 18 months...." we just did something near the same. It was a one month school, and I though I could do this in my sleep! HA, was I wrong the day he left the baby caught the Exorcist bug, and then next day so DID I!! In my sleep, yeah right, little did I know I wouldn't sleep for days!!!
I salute all of us, everywhere, and in every stage. There is no better community to find myself a part of no matter where we go!

[boriqua wife]

This past January marked our 6 years together. In June my husband will be leaving for deployment to Cuba. 16 months counting training. This will be he 4th and longest deployment since we got married. It nice to hear other spouses perspectives on deployments. They don't get any easier, but I wouldn't trade my husband or my live for anyone..

[dizzylizzie]

i'm 27 he's almost 30, almost ten years of marriage. he's got 12yrs in the service as of febuary. we've got the typical two kids and a dog. three tours in iraq, a couple of TDY's, some training weeks, some schools, i cant remember the last anniversary we shared. or the last birthday. (i think he has the FTD/1800flowers people number committed to memory or at least on speedial on his cell) but i wouldnt trade it either. although when the baby had colic for 4 months i would have given my left arm to have him home again! LOL! now i think back to those bleary eyed sleepless days and nights ...and i remember just about nothing...LOL! except of course being more tired than i'd ever been in my life. oh and the not showering for 9 days thing...hey, we all do what we have to do to make it through. and we do. eventually :D

[ArmyWife_Infantryman]

I was an Army wife of an Infantry soldier and 12 years of our marriage was Army life before he retired. He was gone more than home but we made it. It was tougher sometimes more than others especially when he was in Korea for a year and 2 of our kids were very little. It is hard to let them go but gets easier through the years. You just get involved in things to keep you busy. A good Family Support group works well and I was also involved in church.

oh and the comment one left about having a colicy baby for 4 months.. been there too..Had 1 with colic for 5 1/2 months.. lived far away from family. That is rough but she is a sweet 12 yr old now. Was so glad when she got over it and was a happy baby around 6 months.

[mismysailor]

My son used to think Daddy lived in the phone but after a month or two on shore duty you never would have known that he had spent the first 4 years of his life gone more than he was home. It's not my resiliency that amazes me but the kids who just roll with the punches.

[kay]

I'm not a military spouse, but the Mom of a soldier now stationed in Iraq. I am totally amazed at the stamina and coping abilities of those who post on here. I read your posts because you encourage me that I can get through this deployment...my first one and my only son. Your site is better than any I have found on the net...when I read, I realize I'm not the only one going through the day to day fears, questions, and loneliness, but you give me strength that there will be an end in sight. God bless all of you here at home and our men and women fighting for our great nation.

[Erin]

AWTM-
I am a fiance, not a wife yet (although soon will be :-D) but have been through a lot of separation already though thankfully no deployments. I guess I'm one of the young ones you talk about as I am in my early twenties. I just want to say thanks to YOU and all the wives who have come before me. Reading the posts on here gives me inspiration and hope. I know that my soon to be husband will deploy fairly soon and I know that he will be gone a lot during the first few years of our marriage. But knowing that there are military wives who have come before me, and survived (and thrown some kicking screaming pity parties too!) helps me because it makes me know I'm not alone, this isn't the first time someone has done this, it won't be the last and my fiance and I CAN make it. And hopefully one day I'll be the 36 year old (which by the way isn't that old...I work in a nursing home, trust me, you are a spring chicken)who is as encouraging to younger milspouses as you and others who have come before us are to those of us who are just starting out. So, thanks to you!

[Deirdre]

ARRGHH... thaks for reminding me of the one week we had to prepare for his 18 month deployment... brass said hes not goin till the last 3 days, all his budys said BS your going... Thank lord we prepared anyway,
WE are now half way through woohoooo!! . I"M making it girls really I am!!!
A big pat on the back to every one of us....

[mismysailor]

I have friends that remind me that when they married their husbands cruises were for a year or sometimes longer no email and snail mail took at least 6 wks one way. While the Navy doesn't have webcams on ships I can't imagine life w/o email.

[RONALD MILITELLO]

OK, I WILL DECIPHER AND GIVE MY IDEAS REGARDING IMPROVED BODY ARMOR--DARPA TYPE Hi I think then give remedy to this parbolic difficulty, [IS PHYSICS REMENDY] that causes life to continue! I hope you like, and kindly take care MY WIFE--Mrs. Diane Marie Militello. Thnks, & never to forget.
Sincerely,
RONALD MILITELLO