Geographically Dispersed Spouse Support
September 26, 2006|
Families need and deserve support, especially during activations and deployments.
Some spouses and families who need this support are geographically separated from military installations.
So, I wanted to share with you my own personal experience and also ask everyone to add questions/suggestions of their own...
I had heard all about Family Readiness Groups (FRGs) and was very eager to become part of one. While DH was in Basic, I felt very isolated.
I had friends, a career, interests, and nearby family--but I still needed contact with other military spouses. I had joined a general MilSpouse discussion board, which was very helpful. Many of these great MilSpouses had "been there, done that"--but I also wanted contact with those who actually "are there, doing that."
When DH entered OCS, I also joined an Internet discussion board that created separate threads for each OCS class. We wanted to reach out to the other family members who had not found this online support.
So, I left a very respectful (timid, even) voice mail at the commander's office, offering to "help the FRG leader."
When he called back, he basically told me there was no FRG leader--and told me the spouses could start one up if we wanted.
So, we started one from scratch--the blind leading the blind.
I'm not saying it is perfect, or that in an ideal world you would have to, but sometimes the only way to get something done is to do it yourself. If you find yourself in a situation without any support like this, here's what we did:
- Compose a survey to find out how best to contact people, what people want from the FRG, what their needs are, and how they can help, too.
- Get a list of at least one family contact per soldier (remember not to leave out the single soldiers if they have a parent or other relative they want contacted)
- Mail the survey if you just have mailing addresses, otherwise you can start by calling people. We had tons of responses to our survey!
- Follow-up with a phone call. Try to get e-mail addresses as this will make your life much easier.
- Get volunteers to help you. Do not do this on your own and burn out. There were three of us co-leading this "FRG."
- Establish as many types of contacts as you can--message boards, websites, phone trees, newsletters, monthly themes for care packages, etc. Make sure that everyone receives a phone call or e-mail at least once a month. We sent our newsletter out via e-mail and then printed and mailed copies for the ten or so people who did not have e-mail addresses.
- Keep in contact with the commander. E-mail a compilation of family questions once a week as possible. If you show the commander you can also make his or her job easier, you will get more command support. Try to get at least monthly updates from the commander to distribute to families.
- For longer term assignments, consider regional meet-ups. Since this was a shorter, training assignment, we got together before the mid-cycle picnic and at graduation.
Two resources that may help (these are for the Army because that is what I know about, but apply to pretty much any military branch):
- Army Family Liaison Office: Tips on starting an FRG
- Family Readiness Group: You have to have an AKO account to access this website that provides support to FRG leaders.
Remember that if you are feeling lonely, others probably are as well. Recognize that even incomplete efforts are better than nothing at all!
I would love to hear what others have done and also please post other resources, especially for other branches!
*UPDATE 10/6*
Army D/W posted this EXCELLENT comment on the interesting post, Mentoring MilSpouses, by Guard Wife:
Look for those DOD stickers on cars~no joke. You might be suprised just how many of "us" are out here, especially if you are not in a "traditional military town".
I don't know if deployed Guard and Reserve have DOD stickers? I've been attached to active duty my whole life?? If not, get GIANT Service Military stickers and magnets to identify yourself to the rest of us. :)
All because of those DOD stickers I've found a group of about 30 service members in my "non-military" neighborhood. I threw an appetizer "getting to know you" afternoon social and invited the ones I'd met and they brought friends. [...]
I talk to anyone with a DOD sticker, even if it's just to say "thank you" to an obviously retired military person. [...]
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Is ther any Navy Chaplains wives out there that would like to chat? My husband is away for the first time in our 19 years of marriage and is in OTC for 5 weeks and then Chaplaincy School for 7. I'm new to the Service Life and could use someone to chat with. I have three children at home and no family around were we live, and we are not living in the area of his Permanent Duty Station, yet. Thanks
Posted by: Lynn McIntosh | 09/26/2006 at 18:12
I am pregnant with our second child and my husband is deployed for the first time. I don't have any family in our area and don't want to wear out his family by passing my son off on them all the time so I was wondering if anyone knew of any assistance programs for this kind of thing. Any information or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Posted by: Teresa | 09/26/2006 at 18:48
Teresa--
Are you near a post or far from a post? Are you Army or another branch?
If you are Army, you may wish to try your ACS and ask them about childcare.
If you are not near a post, try Military OneSource (http://www.militaryonesource.com); they have Master's level consultants who can tell you if there are any programs that might help you out.
Above all, I am sure you know this, but make sure to triple check anyone you leave your son with!!!
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/26/2006 at 20:11
Dear Lynn,
I have kinda the same thing too. I've been with my husband for 7yrs and last year I gave my self to the Lord. This is my first Deployment with the Army. My husband has been in Iraq since July, while I'm left here to care for our three girls. There are plans for when he gets back to become a Chaplen for the Army. You can email me if you need some one to talk. God has blessed me with a great church family, family and Battle Buddies. Maybe he can bless you too. My husband may not be in the Navy, but your more than welcomed to contact me.
Posted by: Catalina | 09/26/2006 at 21:05
Spouse buzz is a terrific idea but I'd like to see something this progressive for the families who have lost loved ones in Iraq and Afghanistan, or in support of the war on terror. GSW is great for legislative issues. But these young spouses need somewhere to go where they can deal with the emotional & spiritual impact of their evolving life. I can't speak for them, but experience tells me that the silent widow/er community isn't going to feel comfortable on a spousebuzz blog. They don't even feel like part of the military community for the most part, once their supporting sponsor dies. Am I wrong?
Posted by: Karen Spears Zacharias | 09/26/2006 at 21:13
hi my husband is deployed. this is my first experience of him being deployed for 6 months. it's hard but i am managing. this site seems to be a helpful source for women who are feeling the pressures of deployment. if anyone would like to chat please email. thanks
Posted by: yvette | 09/26/2006 at 21:14
sorry to say we've never had anything good ever come from FRG. lots of mandatory meetings always scheduled at dinner time so the kids are nice and cranky. folks talking at the podium forever about absolutely nothing that applies to 90% of the people in the room. handing out phone trees with phone numbers that dont work.
lotsa lip service, nothing ever materializes. the phone tree always gets me, its not worth the price of the ink to print it out. i had an issue come up just last week, so i got out the handy dandy phone tree and called about 30 different people with 2-3 numbers each. nothing. nobody even answered the phone. and two of the numbers were fax machines. i shoulda known better though, after 2 previous deployments and FRG being completely useless.
not trying to bust anybodies bubble here. if that stuff makes yall happy then have at it. i'm just saying that in every. single. deployment. he's ever had. (and there's been many) ive called for information from simple things (duh...i seem to have forgotten my husbands platoon leaders name that i need for this here paperwork)to more complex (the DAM* DMV wont let me renew his tags without an emissions test and the vehicle is 800 miles away at a different base!) and FRG is the LAST place i call, if at all.
i'm sure they mean well but we've just never had anything good come of it. i DONT mean to offend anyone, just dropping my two cents for what its worth
Posted by: dizzylizzie | 09/26/2006 at 21:36
My husband is AGR, Active Guard/Reserve. He is one of the guys that work 5 days a week at the Armories or reserve centers. As some of you know, these places can be in the middle of no mans land. Making friends is hard since living in these areas, everyone either is kin or knows everyone since they were in grammar school together. No one can relate to you and the ones that are military spouses do not care to talk to you since their husbands are considered weekend warriors and nothing else. Most have no clue as to what they do at drill or battle assembly.
I have been so long without friends, I do not even know where to begin with one. I know that sounds crazy, but I would like to have some one that somewhat understands what it is like to spouse and away from major support areas.
Anyone that wants to chat, please email me...
Posted by: Misty | 09/26/2006 at 21:40
My DH is currently one year into this three year Recruiting duty. I can relate to Misty about the friends and the locals. This isn't a military town and people here just don't relate the same way as other military spouses do. He works long hours so we don't see a whole lot of him. Anybody else in recruiting, who knows what this is like??
Posted by: crymart | 09/26/2006 at 21:55
Dizzielizzy--Sorry your FRG experiences have all been bad. Our current one is great on the company level but was not functioning at the Battalion level. Now we have a new Battalion level leader and she is great, too!
A suggestion--if you are frustrated with the FRG, volunteer to help in the area you think needs the most work.
If they don't accept your help, then phooee to them and get together with other likeminded spouses. That's how FRGs started anyway. Spouses banded together to help each other--without the military's official say so.
For the specific example you mentioned: I don't know why they are giving out a phone tree with everyone's numbers on it--that shouldn't be. You should just have numbers for the FRG volunteers...and THEY SHOULD be able to get you answers. For the questions you listed, I would call Rear D. That's definitely part of their job. Ours has been great and gone above and beyond.
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/26/2006 at 22:30
Misty--
When I started up the OCS class FRG, I was living in Metro Area NY--not no man's land by any means, but not exactly military central either.
Although I was surrounded by people, I felt lonely.
That's exactly why I posted this--this is what I did in this situation and I was hoping other people would offer and get ideas about finding that support many of us want and need!
Maybe one of the spouses who live far away from any support can start a chat room or bulletin board or newsletter up for everyone in this situation.
...and keep coming back to SpouseBuzz...we're listening!
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/26/2006 at 22:34
Karen, I would suggest TAPS http://www.taps.org/ and they have several chats for widows. They can also put widows in contact with other spouses and they offer great programs for children such as Grief Camp.
Posted by: Love My Tanker | 09/26/2006 at 23:20
Lizzy, I too am sorry for your bad FRG experience. Not all FRGs are the same, but I have been involved with some great ones.
As to the phone tree, when you fill out the forms with your personal information, you generally check a box stating if you wish or do not wish for your information to be put onto the public roster. Not all FRGs have a public roster, but some do.
During deployments I always enter the numbers for Rear D and key leaders into my cell phone and keep a little list in my purse for emergencies.
One last note, the FRG meetings can NEVER be mandatory for spouses. You do not have to go. Your husbands commander can say, it is mandatory for the soldier and sometimes they will say, it is mandatory for the soldier unless the spouse attends, but you never are required to do anything such as this.
Please always feel free to email me if you have FRG questions or concerns that aren't being addressed by your actual FRG. I never have all of the answers, but normally can point you in the right direction. We spouses have to stick together!!
Posted by: Love My Tanker | 09/26/2006 at 23:35
Heh--missed the "mandatory part."
Nothing is mandatory for spouses...we outrank everybody!
I was once told that a class was mandatory for FRG co-leaders. I asked, "What are they planning to do if I don't go? Demote me? Fire me?"
Go right ahead ;-)
Needless to say that never happened.
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/27/2006 at 00:03
My husband is deployed and while I am in a city with a military base, it is not my husbands duty station. He is stationed out of Germany and we decided for many reasons that it would be best for me to stay in the states. I am close to family and a base but I don't know any spouses. The majority of spouses from my husband's company are in Germany and the rest are spread accross the US. I feel very alone because although my family is supportive they have no idea what I am going through. I hear women talk about missing their husband who has been gone away for the weekend and I want to strangle them. My husband has been gone almost a year and when he wasn't deployed he was in Germany. In the 15 months that we have been married we have only physically been together for 2 months. And that wasn't all at one time. I do not know how to go about meeting other wives. I have tried to find an Enlisted Spouses Club but nobody seems to know what I am talking about. I feel like I am three steps away from losing my mind. Anyway, thanks for listening.
Shelley
Posted by: Shelley | 09/27/2006 at 01:33
I am currently a military spouse and am ex-military myself. I've read through the Spouse Buzz comments and think this is a great tool to use and a very good way of connecting with other people who have similar concerns and needs. I have some feedback for a few of the comments I read: Dizzylizzie, I can completely understand your frustration with the lack of support through the FRG. I think an excellent point was made by Love My Tanker regarding not all FRG's being equal. Most importantly, if you find yourself in such a bind go on base/post and start asking for help from the different agencies. Another tactic is to find a chaplin (even if you're not religious) they will typically be very helpful and reliable.
Molly, I understand your feelings on "outranking everyone" but I'd like to make some suggestions. While things are not technically mandatory for us spouses, we should do our best to follow those guidelines as if they did directly pertain to us. We are a direct representative of our spouse and it is common courtesy and very professional for military spouses to keep that in mind. We shouldn't act like the military owes us anything or that we "outrank" everyone...bottom line is we have no command authority and on the chain of command you will not find "Spouse" anywhere. We are given respect based on respect that we give. Always remember that and please be cautious not to create an atmosphere in which spouses will be seen as individuals who feel they are "above" the military commanders. I would never want to do anything that would bring a negative representation upon my wife in her career. If I'm told something is mandatory--I'm there. Out of respect for my wife and for U.S. Military, I obey this direction or at least make sure to do my best to communicate with the POC if I'm not able to make it.
I currently live and work in Arkansas and my wife is in Alaska. She will be going to Little Rock AFB in January, but we'll still be about 200 miles away, so I understand separation and can relate to all of you suffering from its effects. I've been away from my wife since Feb '06. If anyone wants to chat, or has questions regarding how the military members may view the spouse,please don't hesitate to post something or contact me, because I've been on the other side of the fence and I interacted with the spouses of my troops on many different occasions. I'm here to help and be a part of helping people feel better in these trying times.
Roy
Posted by: Roy | 09/27/2006 at 05:03
Molly,
yes technically they are mandatory only for the servicemember but if the spouse doesnt show up it reflects poorly on your soldier. specifically the 2nd to last one we had to go to was titled "HOW TO READ YOUR SERVICEMEMBERS LES" for 4 1/2 hours. they released the guys at lunch to attend this thing but obviously this was specifically for the spouses. i could see holding it for the just new spouses who didnt know how to read them but there was a grand total of 6 new spouses (they all had to stand up to greet everybody) out of the 200+ in the room. four and a half hours. let me repeat that. Four and a Half HOURS. on how to read an LES.
there was one last manatory FRG meeting the day before he left that was supposed to last 5 hours from 9am- 2pm and be FUN. with a BBQ and guest speakers, games for the kids etc etc...well no. the 1st sgt spoke, the platoon sgt spoke, and the chaplain spoke for over 2 hours. our 7 yo even turned to us once and said "when is this guy gonna stop talking?!"
once all the speaking was done everybody left! we only HAD to stay to listen to them talk. after that there was a mass exitus (of the 220 soldiers plus their wives and kids) to the door. nobody wanted to spend our last precious few hours there any longer than we had too. there was no real bbq -it was held at the club so you could hit the consession booth if you wanted something to eat but at 930 in the morning who wants a cheeseburger?-, and there was no games for the kids.
again, i'm not trying to rain on anybodies parade here, just venting some frusterations.
Posted by: dizzylizzie | 09/27/2006 at 06:46
Dizzylizzie--I'm working on a post about FRGs on post...I'd love for you to read it when it is up and respond some more with these frustrations. I have a couple of suggestions for those who find themselves in dysfunctional FRGs--though I know they may not work in every or even most situations.
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/27/2006 at 09:08
Roy--I was mainly trying to interject some humor into the situation, but I do have to respectfully disagree in some way.
Commanders need to know that spouses are NOT in the chain of command. We cannot be ordered around like subordinates. There is no need for us to "obey orders."
I was speaking in this situation as a volunteer who was spending 30-40 hours a month as an FRG Co-leader.
However, I always respond respectfully to all requests and suggestions--good advice in every situation and I did not mean to imply wuth my humor anyone should go in with a chip on their shoulder.
Ideally, we all help our spouses careers. Sometimes spouses do not have the time or inclination or ability to do so...in which case they should strive to do no harm.
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/27/2006 at 09:16
Shelley--what base are you near? Maybe someone here can help hook you up?
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/27/2006 at 09:21
be happy to molly, i'll be looking for it
Posted by: dizzylizzie | 09/27/2006 at 11:58
Molly,
As much as I see your point, you missed mine. I wouldn't go because I was "obeying orders" I don't think that was my implication either...I simply stated I don't think we should assume the attitude of "they can't tell me what to do" because, let's face it, that is a display of a negative attitude. Instead, I go because I respect the organization and my spouse. I did say that we are not in the chain of command, so I'm glad you reiterated that, but at the same time the level of respect should be there almost as if we were. I agree with your idea of the use of humor, but also keep in mind that some spouses reading what you write will not see it for the humor, they'll simply remember that you said we don't have to listen to the commanders...as true as that is, we SHOULD listen to the commanders of our spouses. Unless they order us(of which I've never heard of a commander giving a spouse a direct order) to do something illegal, immoral, or unethical, there should be no reason why we can't comply. I'm only looking at it from the point of view of a young new spouse who has no guidance at all...why start them out with a Me vs. the Commander feeling...which, I will say, is what I felt from your posting...be it funny or not.
Posted by: Roy | 09/27/2006 at 12:04
Roy--I'm not missing your point...I just disagree. I promise I'll make a post sometime in the next week developing more on this idea about a MilSpouse's "duties" and "obligations"--please feel free to jump in there and disagree with me. I don't pretend to be the authority or final word on the subject, but I have some strong opinions!
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/27/2006 at 12:31
Molly and Roy -
I am loving this interchange! I have to say that as a new spouse I fell more in line with Roy, but now after many long years, I'm more Molly's gal. The commanders - and now my husband is one - seem to forget that the spouses often have jobs, multiple kids, appointments....otherwise known as lives! We can not always drop everything to attend whatever poorly planned meeting they have devised this week.
I applaud Roy for being an active husband. More women in the military command structure would fix issues like this!
Posted by: auburn93rn | 09/27/2006 at 15:55
As a spouse who has been involved in several FRG's, some very active, and some not so active, like the current unit. They still refer to is as Family Support Group, which we know has since been renamed FRG. Our meetings consist of conference calls that might happen twice a year. This is the case because we are a recruiting unit and families are spread out over a large area. I feel that is more important to have a solid FRG in a case such as mine because we aren't in military towns where we can atleast be informed by other spouses or post activities. Recruiters are basically put out there and the families pretty much left out of the picture, until Christmas comes around. When we were in regular units, I took every opportunity to attend FRG functions because I felt that was the best way to stay informed. Service members are often too overwhelmed with other things to remember to inform the spouses of things at work that we might want or need to know. I would often be notified of upcoming FTX's before my husband even knew they were going. It also really bothers me when spouses sit around griping that they're never informed of anything, but they are the ones that won't have anything to do with FRG. Our commander is a woman, whom has her own family, but has got so much to worry about with her career that she cant worry with FRG. When there are only a few spouses in the same town it's really difficult to have any organization. She would rather make the soldiers use their family time for fundraisers because she can make that mandatory. I would take advantage of the opportunity to be informed and educated by FRG if I had the chance. Take from it what you want, leave the rest behind.
Posted by: camart | 09/27/2006 at 18:19
camart--
Can you give us more details about how the conference calls work?
Have you ever done video conference meetings?
Can you share any other good ideas from your experience with a recruitment FRG (or ideas that you think would work)?
That was the original intent of my post (although all of the comments have been fascinating...so I'm not complaining or anything)--to share and discover ways geographically dispersed family members can get that support!
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/27/2006 at 18:26
The conference calls go like this...everyone is given a phone number to call into, and then you have to enter numbers and such to enter the conference. This is sponsored by USAREC. Callers are given an hour to talk about things and discuss whatever the topic is supposed to be. LOL it always ends up being wives griping about how much the husbands work and TRICARE issues for those of us without MTFs. In my experience only a few even call in, and then, even with a few it becomes difficult to talk without being interrupted. I have done video conferencing while my husband was deployed, but I doubt that anyone would go through the effort, or as some might refer to it, trouble to do it here. I don't think I have any good ideas, although sure could use some. Getting spouses together for meetings is not an option because of travel issues as well as all the other good stuff that goes along with being a recruiters spouse. Heck, even the soldiers have to go TDY, just for training days. If they want to pay me TDY money, I'll go. Hehe.
Posted by: camart | 09/27/2006 at 18:59
Auburn,
I'm going to assume your use of gender to describe leadership ability is based on the same principle of "humor" that Molly used in her posting... Otherwise I appreciate your feedback, even though it's unfortunate you feel as you do about commanders...especially considering your husband is one.
Posted by: Roy | 09/27/2006 at 19:02
I am in Albuquerque, NM the base is Kirtland AFB
Posted by: Shelley | 09/27/2006 at 23:08
Shelley--
Have you tried the family support center at Kirtland?
They will know if there is an Enlisted Spouses' Club on base.
Even if there isn't, looks like they have some great classes and volunteer opportunities:
http://www.kirtland.af.mil/organizations/377MSG/FamilySupport/index.htm
I find volunteering is a great way to meet other people.
You could also try a fitness class on base. Or maybe a crafts class (http://www.kirtland.af.mil/organizations/377MSG/Services/ArtsCrafts/Classes.htm).
This way you already have something in common with the other local MilSpouses you meet!
Good luck meeting new people locally and maybe someone else near Kirtland will see this and drop you a line.
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/28/2006 at 15:01
Yes, Roy, I was using sarcasam in order to save my mental health. I suppose I would have been more accurate in saying that it has been my experience that females in general (NOT IN ALL CASES!) are more attuned to the minutae of life and how that impacts families. Perhaps even more accurately, I should say - and I'd love to know if you agree as a MILspouse - that commanders don't have any clue about families left behind because of their perspective. There is a huge difference in experience between being the "leave-er" vs. the "leave-ee".
Two examples, when DH leaves, he is heade out to new (yet ready-made) friends, new experiences, and often interesting work. Secondly, this will be the second year-long remote our family had completed. This will be the 3rd time I have sold a house and packed out alone. Our daughter had surgery last month. All of this going on here at home along with school, work, etc, and my husband wonders why I havent had time to download almost 200 digital pictures!
I guess I'm just asking for alittle empathy and perspective.
Posted by: auburn93rn | 09/28/2006 at 16:48
Auburn,
I completely respect what you are facing and I know you work hard to keep everything in order for you family. I don't mean to nitpick at what you say...venting in order to maintain your mental health is very understandable and a necessary part of one's life. I hope you are doing well and I am proud of what you are doing as a Milspouse.
Posted by: Roy | 09/29/2006 at 00:17
Molly-
Thanks for the advise. Family support had no idea what I was talking about when I called looking for the enlisted wives club but I will look into the other things.
Thanks!!
Posted by: Shelley | 09/29/2006 at 05:00
Thank you Roy. I'd really like to hear about your experiences from "the other side" as you posted several days ago. What was your experience as a military member dealing with spouses? What ideas would you recommend that may not be standard miltary ideas?
I may be cynical and jaded, but I'm always interested in learning new things!
Posted by: auburn93rn | 09/29/2006 at 15:43
I am a military spouse living away from post. This is my husbands first deployment and I am finding it hard to get any information from the FRG on his post. Apparently they want nothing to do with me because I am out of the area. How can I stay in the loop? IS there any way? I really just need some guidance since I have never gone through this before.
Posted by: Katie | 12/08/2006 at 22:32
Great advice and comments.
Are there any recruiting spouses out there? Trapped in the void known as USAREC?
Contact me. I would love to talk.
ermalisa@yahoo.com
ermalisa.jackson@us.army.mil
Posted by: Ermalisa Jackson | 01/10/2007 at 11:44
I am just upset, my ex husband is in the hospital in serious condition his kidneys are failing. His wife does not think the son in iraq should know about it. My friend balled me out for sending ims and emails and trying to reach my son. He has been in iraq since july, he might need to take r and r and come home and see his dad. How can i not tell him? Knowing he would even give a kidney to save his dad? And that i got chewed out from many people on. But i saw an article where a soldier did come home and do that for a friend...geez...this is the soldiers dad..but me as the ex, has no power with red cross....so that went out the window. And as for the base its soooo far away in ft. lewis wash, i am in Al. And i called some numbers but no one was there, a machine, and voice mail not taking any messages cause the chaplins had been deployed...good gosh..i am upset to no end, being caught in the middle and no real way to find out if my son needs or wants to contact his dad...I am loosing it, and my friends, over something i consider very important, family helping family and we are all donors....gee anyone from ft. lewis 3/2 on here???? That left in june and just got extended?
Posted by: kathy m | 02/01/2007 at 02:05
Hi,
I'm new to spousebuzz. I'm also in a new situation--new to me. My husband and I left the army a year and a half ago because we decided that we wanted a different lifestyle. We were in the middle of a move when he was called back through the IRR. I had just quit my job and couldn't afford to keep the new apartment...so I decided to move back home with my folks for the next 1.5 yrs while he is gone. Technically, my husband's current "unit" is comprised of army reserve and IRR people from all over the country. His unit has no family support information or network. My family lives in Montana and nowhere near a military installation. I was told by a reserve support hotline person that the closest FRG was in Utah. On the off chance that anyone is or knows milspouses in Montana (specifically near Billings)...please, please email me! My family is great and I love them dearly...but it would help me so much to have milspouses to talk with who understand. Any other suggestions for support networks are also very welcome!
Heather
Posted by: Heather | 03/02/2007 at 17:54
This is in response to Heather's comment. My husband is also IRR and our husbands might possibly be in the same "unit". But even if they are not, I am going through alot of the same stuff as you. I would love to chat with you and see if we could help each other. Please email me at tctkids@netzero.net
Posted by: Tia | 06/19/2007 at 00:16
Heather,
I hope you get this and that it helps you. Contact the Guard Bureau for Montana and ask for the Family Readiness Group(FRG) Volunteer. I am not in Montana but I know every state has this group set up. FRG is for the family members left behind, during deployment. Give them a try and let me know how it goes.
If you need more help, post another message. I check this site daily.
Posted by: Bonny | 06/27/2007 at 01:58
To Camart:
In response to your comment "Take from it what you want, leave the rest behind", this advice is great if 1) you know who to contact for FRG information, 2) you speak English, or 3) that you don't have a husband who forbids you to attend.
As a former FRG leader and now active FRG volunteer, I have come across all three situations.
Posted by: gdinola | 02/17/2008 at 01:11