I love my husband, but sometimes...

Sometimes I want to smack him!  I wrote a post a while ago about my struggle regarding whether I should get a job after our PCS in July.  I struggle with this as a wife, mother, and professional.  About a week after I wrote that post I decided NOT to get a job.  I quickly became involved in multiple volunteer activities and have enjoyed each and every one of them.  Plus, I get to go to the gym a few times a week while the kids are in school.

So last night I was balancing the checkbook and paying bills and when I looked at my husband's LES I was very surprised.  Since we now live on post we don't get BAH, which is a nominal amount of money that is no longer in our pocket.  Plus we haven't sold our house in PA, so that's another chunk of money we are "missing."  I told my husband what his take-home pay was now and his response was:  "You need to get a job."

Horror of Horrors

Well, first I disgrace the milspouse community with this little incident. Didn't think I could top that one, but imagine my horror when I took this PCS quiz and found out I'm "mostly" ready for a PCS move, not "totally" ready. I've been at this for quite some time now. I have many moves under my belt. Should be able to do this in my sleep by now. Ugh!

Lowers her head, turns off the light, slinks out of the room and goes back to bed.

Crossroad...

We are pretty well settled in to our new duty station.  Our PCS went rather smoothly, surprisingly enough, with a few hiccups along the way.  We were able to visit family and take our time getting here.  We have wonderful neighbors and there are lots of kids for our kids to play with.

My husband starts his military school tomorrow and the kids start school on Tuesday.  And I, well... I'm at a crossroad and can't decide what I want to do with my life while we are here for 10 months.

Movers Beware

We are currently in the midst of another PCS move and we thought things were going really well.  We were pretty satisfied with our packers and the driver seemed to be a nice guy, too.

Then we arrived at our new duty station and received a call from the Transportation Office.  The caller (a female named Fred!) wanted to know if we had a partial DITY in addition to the moving truck.  JD told her we that we did and she informed him that we were already just 220 lbs. under our weight limit.  That didn't sound right seeing as how we'd just moved last year and our weight was about 3,000 lbs. less than that.  We were a little worried considering we'd just hauled about 2500 lbs. ourselves, but figured it had to be a mistake.

I Love It!

What an awesome idea for military families. Great photos, too....

Army Lodging Overhaul Coming Soon

Army moves to privatize on-post lodging

"Pathetic" and "Sad"

Remember when I cracked up after reading Coping Army Wife's "pathetic" comment?  The visual just struck me as funny. And yes, pathetic. It's always the little things that get to us..... Today, I read about one Army wife's first PCS move. Strange new town, strange new people. And one "sad" planner. I can relate so strongly to this. Most of us have been there and have the collection of t-shirts to prove it. The silver lining is that the planner will probably fill up fast...... 

A little bit of history

On Sunday we had an open house because we are desperately trying to sell our house before we PCS later this month.  We had to be out of the house so a bunch of strangers could walk through our house and invade my personal space (yes, I have issues with this, but I know it must be done).

We decided to drive 3 hours away to take our kids to Antietam National Battlefield.  There are two pieces of history that have become important in our home regarding Antietam.

Time to get off the pot

We have almost been in our home for a year now. 

There are are a couple of problems, and I will take responsibility for them.

I Am a PCS Worrier

I have PCS on the brain, and we're not moving any time soon.  But those 36 hours back in April set my mindframe and started the worrying process.  We will probably be moving a year from now, and the crazy is already setting in.

It all started with detergent...

Salt 'N Vinegar, Please....

Before we left our last duty station, I went grocery shopping one day when I was starving. Always a bad idea.... I picked up several items that I normally don't buy. I think I was hoping the photos on the products would settle in my stomach by osmosis or something. One of those items was Salt and Vinegar almonds. I never opened the can. I ate the chocolate cake and whip cream parfait I bought at the bakery. In the parking lot. 

Last week, I was going through the cupboard (hungry again), and I ran across that can of almonds. Although I was skeptical, I opened the can. To my surprise, I found that I loved them, and I consumed the entire can in only two days. 

Today, I went to the grocery store and yep, you guessed it, Salt and Vinegar almonds were nowhere to be found. I had a rather unpleasant flashback. 

Moving really sucks when you have the munchies.....

HAP for Military

Are you still wondering about the details regarding the Homeowner Assistance Program for Military Homeowners?

Living in Purge-atory

I have been wanting to write about this for some time, but as you can tell from the title, I have been purging all that is called my home for some time. 

Yes, it is that time of year for us, as it may be with many of you.  We have been purging our house for weeks in preparation for our PCS NEXT MONTH!!!

DH and I "talked" about all that needed to be done around the house for many months.  Then reality hit (i.e. time ran away from us and we realized we had to actually DO all the things we talked about needing done).

PCS Checklist

The Displaced Dutchican made a checklist for all the things that need an address change when you PCS.  She made a printable file for other milspouses to enjoy.  This may be a good thing to bookmark or print out for future moves...

Military Youth

A new website replaces Military Teens on the Move. 

Military Youth on the Move!

Better Understanding 'Full Replacement Value'

Things change within the military on a regular basis.  This we do know.  When it comes to moving, we all need to be on our toes and up to date.  We must know how change will impact us.

A Lot Can Change In 36 Hours

For 36 hours, we were PCSing unexpectedly this summer.

Tips Here and There

There are a few things that I wish people had told me before each PCS we've made.  Things like:  rain is not a seasonal event confined to the months between December and March in most places, so plan outdoor events accordingly.  Or things like:  salad bars as a one course restaurant do not exist in great quantity outside California.

I can't tell you how long I've been craving Fresh Choice or Sweet Tomatoes here, people.  It's becoming an obsession.

I'd love to see the collective power of SpouseBUZZ at work on this.  In the comments section, let us know what lessons you've learned about new places in the course of your PCSing.  It's all good -  you never know who is getting ready to move where you already know the scoop.  You may be able to answer the question someone else doesn't even know they need to ask!

I'll get this started:

FACT:  In Texas, all soft drinks are referred to generically as "coke".  If someone asks, "Would you like a coke?"  they are not referring to only one product.  Your "yes" answer will most likely be followed up with, "What kind?"

FACT:  If you go searching for Carl's Jr and can't find one, it's probably because in the new place Carl's Jr is  Hardees.

PCSing with DPS

Changes have already come to some locations.  Over time, changes will be rolled out at installations worldwide.  It pays to be knowledgeable and prepared.

Do you know what DPS is?

Chatting Them Up

Air Force Guy often becomes annoyed with the amount of time it takes me to leave certain places of business.  It's not that it takes a long time to conduct business, necessarily (although sometimes it does), it's that I have a real issue with chatting people up.

You see, I chat everyone up.  I talk to the ladies at the Post Office.  I learn great things from the waitstaff at new restaurants.  I even make friends with mechanics (do you know how tough that can be when you see those darn bills for car servicing?  I just got my brakes done and *OUCH*). 

This drives AFG nuts.  What I try to explain to him, however, is that it is a completely necessary survival mechanism.

The New Kids on the Block

There are so many good-byes associated with military life. Seems like we're always saying good-bye to someone, doesn't it? Training, Deployment, TDY and PCS moves. Good-bye, Good-bye, Good-bye and Good-bye.

None of the good-byes are easy, but one of the hardest is when it's time for your friends to PCS because you know you may never see them again. It's even harder if they happen to live in your neighborhood and you have to watch the moving truck pack them up and move them out.

What happens when someone new moves in the house where you made so many memories with people you grew to love? 

No, it's Not the Socks

My husband and I had a friend over for dinner Saturday night. He happens to be retired military and now works as a civilian, but in the military arena. I packed him a to-go bag so that he could have dinner the next evening, too.

Last night, I received an email from him asking what I wanted him to do with the Tupperware that I used to package the food. My response to him was, "Throw it in the recycling bin and if you don't recycle, throw it away. Or, just keep them." I didn't really care what he did with the containers. I just didn't want them back.

Why?  

Adulthood: Joke's on Me...

Military spouses are some of the most creative people I've ever met. Especially when it comes to home decor. We move so often, and the moves tend to take a toll on furniture. Plus, we never know what the next house is going to look like and how much room we'll have, so we're always playing amateur decorator. PCS season is fun for thrifty decorators. The thrift shop gets all kinds of new/old goods in stock and people tend to downsize, so the curbs are full for treasure hunters.

Military families tend to recycle furniture and various pieces pass from one family to another quite often. At our last duty station, we gave our sofa and love-seat away knowing that we were going to purchase new furniture once we got here. And when we did get here, we gave an ottoman to another military family, and took a beautiful twin sleigh bed from them for one of our guest rooms.

The Oomph is Gone

The last four months have been spent moving.  Moving out, moving in, fixing things to make the move comfortable.  All moving.

This weekend the rest of my boxes and goods arrived.  I have unpacked most of them, but I have a few questions.  Like, how on earth did all these books fit on shelves at the last house?  Because I've got left-overs here.  And where is the plug in part of my mixer?  Those blades don't turn themselves!

But instead of unpacking (and painting, there is STILL MORE PAINTING to do!), I'm sitting on the couch wasting time on my computer.  Because it suddenly hit me today, the oomph is just gone.  I need a vacation from moving.

How many of you hit that stage when you move?  And how long does it usually take to get there?

Like Oil and Water

Each time we move, all remotes either go with me, or are placed in the entertainment center that houses all batteries, DVDs, etc. so that when we unpack, I know exactly where to find the remotes. My husband and I recently purchased a new television for our bedroom and gave the old one away to some friends. When they came to collect the television, which had been sitting in the garage since we moved, I went to the remote drawer only to find that the remote was not there. I was baffled for two months because, despite having other moving-related issues throughout the years, I've never had a missing remote. I've always been very careful about that.

Some Duty Stations are Just Plain Jinxed

Sarah left a comment on my last post which prompted me to think about something. Two somethings, actually. The first is that her comment reflected how different each of us are. A lesson I learn over and over again here at SpouseBUZZ, and one which reminds me that our diverse backgrounds and interests are one of the many things that make military life so interesting and special. 

But the thought that came immediately to mind when I read Sarah's comment:

I'm sure it's because I was born in Oklahoma, but am I the only freak who likes the plains? (AWTM, get my back here.) I would be tickled to be stationed in Kansas...

Was this...

Assignment Envy

We recently touched base again with a couple who we were stationed with over a decade ago. After the inevitable, "Why did we lose touch" conversation occurred, I asked my girlfriend where they had been assigned since we lost touch. She ticked off my fantasy list. Tampa, Georgia, Miami, Hawaii, Kansas (but for only a year) and Texas. I think I was drooling just listening to her.... 

Like me, my girlfriend prefers warmer climates. Unlike me, she's been able to spend her entire military marriage in shorts and the occasional light jacket. I have no complaints about our locations. Some I loved and others, not so much. But each place, rotten or fabulous, has brought it's own set of blessings, joys and new experiences. However, I'd like to discover all the blessings, joys and experiences that warm climates have to offer. For the rest of my husband's career.

I admit it. I had "assignment envy." Wonder if there's a 12-step program? Hummmmm. I think another letter to Secretary Gates is in order.

Dear Secretary Gates.....

airforcewife Humiliating Moment #18976

We're moving.  Again.

Well, actually I'm in the process of moving stuff and fixing stuff as we were able to buy our first house and it needed some work.

I have a laminate flooring now.  I have painted walls.  I have eight of my bookcases and my couch.  I even, as of Wednesday, have internet and cable tv.  And the story of my FiOS installation is what I'm about to tell you.

Who Knew?

I bought this book several months ago, and never got around to reading it. On my way out to Tacoma, I decided to dive in, and boy was this book helpful. Moving is stressful on people, but those of us with pets know about the added stress placed on our pets during a move.

There happens to be a chapter in 50 Simple Ways to Pamper Your Cat on moving. It's titled, "Smooth Moves." One tip caught my eye.

Rub a slightly damp towel on your cat's back and then rub it on the walls, floors and furniture inside the new home. When your cat recognizes his own scent, he will be less anxious.

Wow - never heard that before. Our cats have always had a harder time adjusting to a new home than our dog did, but it makes sense that this tip would work for dogs, too. Ask your vet about this.

Par for the course, I find this tip after multiple moves spanning years and years. Ah well, better late than never.... I highly recommend the book, which you can order here for as little as fifty-four cents! It's loaded with great tips. In fact, I'm going to try to get in touch with the author and invite her on SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio to talk about acclimating your pet to a new environment. Hey look, she's a blogger, too.

Moving Does Have its Advantages: The List is Taking Shape

The election is over and on January 20, we will have a new Commander-In-Chief. SpouseBUZZ is, and has always been, a politics-free zone, but something happened in one of the Congressional races that made me think about our lives, and how fortunate we are. A retired Army Colonel was a candidate for congress and his opponent accused him of being a carpetbagger. I found that a little insulting considering military life generally forces us to move every few years and we don't exactly have a say in the matter. What a great compliment to communities when service members choose to plant roots in their soil. Unless employment drives the decision, the decision is usually made out of a desire to live there, and only there. My husband and I have very few friends who have returned to their home towns after separation from the military. The majority of our friends have chosen to retire elsewhere.

Have you seen that show on HGTV where home buyers are allowed to spend the night in a house before deciding whether or not to buy it? What a great concept. Military families have an even better deal. For all the hassles that come with moving, we get to try out not just houses, but actual communities, regions and states. And for more than a night. We are able to get a good sense of what we like and what we don't like about certain areas. Where we would be happy, and where we wouldn't. And that's a huge benefit when it's time to decide where to live after military separation.

Duplicates...I Have Duplicates

Now, I'm not one of those uber-organized military spouses who move in, paint, unpack and decorate the first couple of weeks that they are in a new house.  Heck, I'm lucky if I accomplish those things during the first couple of years.  So it probably comes as no surprise that I've still got a lot of boxes left unpacked despite having moved in MAY.

Aside from the sheer displeasure of being surrounded by clutter, the thing that bothers me most is not being able to find specific items.  My iron, for example.  I'm completely embarrassed to admit that I haven't ironed since May because I couldn't find my iron.  Oh, well, I did borrow one from the neighbor when I had to iron labels into my daughter's clothes for summer camp.  Anyway, today I really, really needed to iron.  So I had to shuffle through boxes until the iron popped up.  Thankfully it didn't take as long as the three hole punch did.  I'm sure you know the story...girl looks for three hole punch for weeks, girl gives up and purchases new three hole punch, girl finds old three hole punch shortly after destroying packaging for new three hold punch.

As I unpack boxes, I find doubles of many things.  Hot glue gun:  2.  Mops & buckets:  2.  Fabric shears:  2.  I hate to imagine how much money I've wasted buying things that I already have, but can't find.  And then there are those cutting boards; they've been missing for two moves.  I guess I should admit defeat and replace them.  A girl can never have too many cutting boards, and I'll have twice as many after I go buy new ones!

And if you see the charger for my cordless screwdriver, will you let me know?

Baby Come Back....

Have you seen those commercials pushing Swiffer WetJet? You know, the ones where the old brooms and mops try to woo housewives back after they've been replaced by the latest and greatest way to sweep and mop the floors. I crack up each time I see those commercials, especially the one where the mop lays a path of rose petals leading to a candle-filled jacuzzi.

Very clever.

Yesterday, the SpouseBUZZ gals began making their way home from San Antonio, and I stayed on for an extra day. One by one they took off. With each good-bye, I began to feel a little bluer. I thought I was going to throw myself on the floor and start singing Baby Come Back like those brooms and mops do. It was so quiet when they left. No more laughter and warmth that comes with being surrounded by some of your favorite people in the whole world. They're just suddenly gone. And you know what it reminded me of? PCS season.

For me, there's nothing worse than being the last one to PCS. Four months ago, I watched all of my new milspouse friends pack up and move out of town. We were the last to go. It's a gut-wrenching experience to be the last one to leave, and to not know when you're going to see your new friends again - if ever. I'm determined to be the first person to leave Seattle after SpouseBUZZ LIVE Sea/Tac.....

I'm Changing my Will...

Last week, my mother told me that when I was a child, I always had to touch and smell objects that looked interesting to me. I couldn't pass a fuzzy or shimmery something without touching it, and I couldn't pass a smell-good without taking a whiff. This is still true today. Just this past week, I was in Target and saw a cozy-looking blanket and had to stop and run my hands over the plush fabric. I could spend an entire day at Yankee Candle Company smelling the various candles they stock.

When my husband and I were dating, we popped into a Wal-Mart store one evening. As we walked down the aisles, I saw a huge, almost life-sized teddy bear. Although I wasn't a kid anymore, I paused for a moment to give it a big squeeze. The teddy bear just looked so huggable that I couldn't resist. I didn't say anything else about that bear, I just paused and hugged it, then we walked on.

The Best Quote I've Heard All Year

A little while ago I met up with several other wives and we got to talking.  As always comes up when a bunch of mil-spouses are sitting around, we started in on our game of Military Spouse Poker.

And, as always happens when we play Military Spouse Poker, PCSing came up.

One wife, whom I believe was probably the smartest of us all, gave us this little gem about moving overseas:

I Know You Know

So that's why I'm asking.

If you have a fool-proof method of turning cluttered chaos into uncluttered utopia, I'm all ears.  If you're looking for help, let's hope others share!

Embarrassing PCS Stories

Hey, you know what's embarrassing? Walking upstairs to ask a question of the packer just as he's unloading your lingerie drawer. Kinda tough to carry on a serious conversation with a stranger when he's holding your bras in his hands. Very uncomfortable, to say the least.

Okay, spill. What's your embarrassing PCS story - I know you have one.....

Starting From Scratch: The Angry Nail Lady Version

Something frightening always occurs after I've taken a few weeks to move across the country, unpack boxes and set-up a new home. Once the chaos of the move dies down, one day I will finally look in the mirror and let out a scream that can be heard for several miles. You see, I've been too busy to pay any attention to personal care. My nails are broken (or too long) and chipped, my toenails could easily be confused for fingernails and my roots are so bad that they really should prevent me from going anywhere in public.

If the mere sight of myself isn't scary enough, the process of finding someone to fix me is almost unbearable. Where do I go? Who will fix me the way I want to be fixed? Who can I trust? When I set about to answer those very questions for the first time at a new duty station, it doesn't tend to go very well. This time was no exception.

Toddlers Across the Time Zones

In a recent comment on my packing lament, Cathy asked for thoughts about moving to Germany and traveling with toddlers.  I know very little about Germany, but I know a lot about flying with little kids.  When two East Coast families combine and have a first grandchild in Hawaii, there is some traveling involved.  When said family then moves to Australia and has two more kids while they're there, there is some traveling involved.  Add in two emergency trips home from Down Under, and you've got a four month old with Premier level frequent flyer miles.

Here are my top tips for flying with small children:

Installation Housing Discussion

In the past we have discussed issues and experiences surrounding privatization.  We even revisited the topic.  We have shared different views on how to deal with the companies that own our housing.  You can link to our many past discussions here.

Now up for discussion - a 'newer' issue on the topic of installation housing. 

Now what on Earth am I supposed to do with this?

It is a sunny Sunday morning on The Great Plains. 

I am sipping coffee and lounging in my nightgown, and it is almost 10am.  Do not worry, I am feeling very guilty about it.  We should be at church.  I have located 3 I am interested in.  But DH is out of town, and I find it hard showing up to church on the first visit ALONE.  It seems as though what would normally be a simple handshake, and a "good morning" turns into 20 minutes of me stammering around about how
"my Husband do wishes he could be here with us, but he is out of town for work".  And then, if I decide we do NOT  fit well into that church, then I have to do it again with another congregation. 

2009 Per Diem

As many of you know, the DoD begins a new fiscal year on 1 October.

Fiscal Year 2009 Per Diem rates have been announced.  These are rates for reimbursement incurred during official military travel.  Rates to some locations have increased for FY 2009.

You can find the new CONUS FY 09 chart here and after the jump.

The official website for military related travel pays can be found here.  It includes CONUS and OCONUS.

I am here all week, try the veal.

First things first. I HOPE WE NEVER HAVE TO MOVE AGAIN.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way.

Things That Are Completely Ridiculous

We move a lot.  Mail has to get forwarded.  Addresses need to be changed.

I understand that, and I'm right on top of it!  Thank the Good Lord for the internet, I can do most of it online.

I can do it online except when, through a glitch in some sort of site coding, the new address switches out with the old address and my stuff gets sent to the last place we live.

That happened to me this week.

Furniture Shopping - Military Style

My husband and I recently purchased some new furniture for our living room. It's been many years since we purchased living room furnishings and I had forgotten just how differently we approach this task than my non-military friends and family. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority of civilians do not go through the same exercise that military families do when they're furniture shopping.

Oh sure, we all go through the comfort and pricing test, but that's probably where the similarities end as civilians, generally speaking, don't have to move as often as we do.

An Emotional PCS Move

I've never really thought of a PCS move as emotional. Stressful? Yes. Oh, yes. But emotional, as in lots of tears? Not really. There is, of course, sadness associated with all the good-byes that come with a PCS move. But for me, the stress of a move tends to overshadow the sadness of saying good-bye to friends. PCS stress is like kudzu, it takes over everything and just chokes the life out of you.

But this move was different than all the others. I think I developed a permanent lump in my throat this time around.

Feedback on Air Force bases

I personally think it is a great idea - being able to provide feedback on bases and read others thoughts before you PCS.  Hopefully the idea will spring for other services in the future.

Read on and share your thoughts.

If I wore a hat

I have tried to post a bit about "the move" of 2008 a bit here at SpouseBuzz. However, between being swamped, and having nothing nice to say (recalling what my Momma said about if you do not have anything nice to say), and no internet connection....well I am a bit behind.

Here goes.

In Limbo

My family has been living in limbo (or what I like to refer to as "hotel hell") for the last ten days and I'm sure we are not alone as PCS season is in full swing.  Luckily, mostly for my children, we are in the home stretch of this move.  One more day confined to just two rooms with my four children could be hazardous to their health!  At this point, the pool is a lifesaver.

Thankfully, our household goods will be delivered in the morning and we will be on our way to normalcy.  Well, at least as normal as things get for our family...  The two things I'm looking forward to the most are sleeping in my own bed again and being able to send the kiddos to their rooms when I'm tired of hearing them complain, whine, or fight. 

What do you find yourself missing, or looking forward to, the most when you're in limbo?

Three Things I Have Learned This Move

1.  Do not pack the calendar that holds every piece of information that your family of six needs to function.

2.  Try to keep same size sheets together.

3.  Reassemble the fridge before purchasing several hundred dollars worth of groceries.  Consider the possibility that your spouse will discover that the hinges are missing while you are purchasing said groceries.  If you fail to follow this suggestion, use packing tape to tape the doors to the fridge while you order new hinges.

It's a Blasted Conspiracy!

For a couple of weeks now, my household items have been conspiring against me. They got together and formulated a plan to take my already sky-high stress level to soaring new heights. I got the feeling something was up several days ago as I began to take inventory. Yes, I'm in a competition with....objects.

It's true, nothing brings out the mental instability in a person like a PCS move. Even the cat thinks I've lost my marbles. And I'm inclined to believe that is so.