Fingers Crossed For a Peaceful and Timely Death

When we got married, one of the first things I wanted to do was set up an aquarium.  I love having fish.  We got started and bought a few fish...and then realized we were PCSing to Germany in about six months.  Luckily, we didn't live too far from my parents, so when it came time to move, we transported the fish to their house and they lived out the rest of their lives there after we moved.

When we arrived at this duty station, I dragged out the aquarium again and set it up.  I bought five lovely black skirt tetras and a plecostomus and got started.

That was nearly four years ago.  None of the fish have died of old age.  In fact, the plecostomus has tripled in size and looks about ready to evolve legs and crawl out.

So now what?

I have loved having the fish tank, and it's even more fun now that our baby can watch the fish and try to grab at them through the glass.  But if these fish don't die of old age sometime in the next six months, I don't know what I'm going to do.  I am absolutely morally against flushing them, and they sure can't handle a 16-hour car ride back to my parents' house this time!

I find myself hoping for a timely demise.  The average lifespan for these fish is about 5 years, so I keep hoping mine were teenagers when I got them.  But I'm out of luck with the plecostomus; they can live up to 15 years!

I would love to start another aquarium when we move so that our daughter can enjoy the fish, but I hate to go through this all over again.  I still don't know what I'm going to do when it's time to move.  Ideas?  I would give all of them away for free if someone would just love them until they die.  How have you dealt with non-dog or cat pets when PCSing?

I have a book problem...

I am an avid reader and have read hundreds of books in my life.  I love to read all sorts of different books - mostly fiction, but a lot of non-fiction as well.  My two favorite authors are James Patterson and Janet Evanovich.  LOVE their books!  I also have a soft spot for John Grisham, Richard North Patterson, John Sanford, and a new one for me is Robin Cook.

I grew up reading Judy Blume and Nancy Drew.  My dad would read the Chronicles of Narnia to us at night before bed.  I have always had a love for books and I thank my parents for that.  But now I have a problem.

The Meaning of Sacrifice

My grandmother is 93 years old.  She's a remarkable lady - when I describe her as a pistol there is no exaggeration in the phrase whatsoever.  Recently my mother had to shoo my grandmother down off the roof where she was sweeping off leaves and detritus that Grandma had deemed a fire hazard.  And mentally?  My grandmother makes it a regular practice to be the terror of the local bridge club - regularly beating members thirty years younger than she. 

And I don't think my grandmother - although blessed with uncommon health - is an outlier for her generation.  She lived through The Great Depression and she lived through World War II.  She sent two sons off to fight in Vietnam, and she has seen her grandson and her grandson-in-law repeatedly deploy in the GWoT.  She has traveled to nearly every country represented in the United Nations, she still enjoys a cold beer several times a week, and she has had an ongoing mental love affair with John F. Kennedy since 1958.  I hope that someday I will be half the person and live half the life my grandmother has.

My grandmother traveled to see us last year, when we knew Air Force Guy would be deploying again, and while she was here she made the most amazing statement to me.  This woman who didn't see her husband for nearly three years while he was at war; who took over running their family farm, caring for elderly parents, and suffered through a very real lack of communication with her husband that I can't even begin to imagine.  This woman who saw those around her lose husbands and sons at an alarming rate and who once confessed to me that she used to do laundry several times a week because she felt that when she was hanging it on the line to dry she could "feel" her two sons in Vietnam, feel that they were still alive and still in one piece - she told me that she couldn't imagine how hard it must be to be a military wife today. 

I did not know how to respond to my grandmother's statement, and really I still don't. 

Hard Decisions and Change

A recent article in Stars and Stripes has a lot of people talking, and talking about a subject a subject sure to result in raised voices and anger in almost every conversation - the sustainability of military retirement benefits.

Namely, as described by the 25 member Defense Business Board, that military retirement benefits are too expensive and the system needs to be changed.  Several possibilities were put forth, including raising length of time in service before retirement benefits kick in and lowering benefit amount.  And the reasons behind what the Defense Business Board recommended were undeniable:  the United States budget needs to find cuts somewhere. 

Now, I'm not privy to all the internal conversations.  I don't know the members of the Defense Business Board personally, we don't do lunch.  I've only met the Secretary of Defense once, and I didn't really meet him then, I just got my picture taken with him (his hair is much better than mine).  I doubt he'd take my calls, if you know what I mean, because in the grand scheme of things and as awesome as my kids tell me I am, the Secretary of Defense has far more important things to do.  I can't cast aspersions on anyone's motivations or background, and I realize the difficult position the budget has put people into.

But I'd appreciate a bit of a reality check here.

This and That: Voting, Idaho and Hawaii

Military.com and CinCHouse announced the finalists in their search for the 2010 Spouse of the Year this morning. Take a look at the list of ten outstanding milspouses and cast your vote.  

SpouseBUZZ LIVE will be heading to Mountain Home AFB on October 2. Registration is now open. We're looking forward to spending the day with the spouses of Mountain Home. 

If you're a military spouse and own a business, SpouseBUZZ and Military.com salute you. More than that, we want to help you. That's why we offer reduced exhibit rates to military spouses who own businesses. You can purchase a booth at any and all of our SpouseBUZZ LIVE events for only $75! A great opportunity to get your product or service in front of your target audience for very little money.

The last SpouseBUZZ LIVE event of 2010 takes place in Hawaii (WOOT WOOT) on November 8 at Schofield Barracks. Registration for SpouseBUZZ LIVE Hawaii is also open. Needless to say, we're psyched about going to Hawaii! 

Be Social!

As some of you know, SpouseBUZZ recently created Facebook and Twitter pages (thank you WifeUnit). We're loving the interaction we get with other milspouses on these different forums and want to make sure you are aware of our presence on SpouseBUZZ and Facebook as we're relative newcomers.

Click here to get to our Facebook Page.. Fan us and begin posting on our wall. We have conversations over there that don't always appear here on the blog. Hardly a week goes by that someone doesn't email to ask how they can post on SpouseBUZZ. The blog has a static author pool, but the Facebook page allows you to post anything (within reason) on our wall, although we reserve the right to delete comments or links we feel are inappropriate. So for those of you who want to post something for this community, you can do so on the Facebook wall. Feel free to pimp your stuff, ask questions or just tell us you're having a bad day and we'll be at the ready with words of encouragement. Speaking of bad days, one Army wife just posted on the wall that her husband broke his back in Iraq, and she cold use some encouragement...

If you have a Twitter account, follow us and let us know you're out there so we can follow you, too. This will help save us some time while we're trying to find other milspouse twerps out there.

Look forward to seeing you on the other two SpouseBUZZ outlets!

USAA Headquarters: A Tour of the Campus

I've just returned home from a couple of days at USAA HQ in beautiful San Antonio, Texas. USAA gave myself and several other mispouse and personal finance bloggers an all-expenses-paid trip out to tour their facilities, test drive some of their new innovations (and some preferred cars, too) and to participate in focus groups. As far as we know, this is the first time a corporation has hosted a group of bloggers, so we may have made a little history.  

The past couple of days were incredible and it'll be difficult to get it all in, but I'm going to try. In this post, I'll post some photos of what we saw on the tour. In the next post I'm going to tell you about some of the services USAA is about to launch for its members. 

My first reaction to the USAA campus was, "WOW!" It's an enormous complex and most of us thought it resembled the Pentagon inside, only people were happy instead of grumpy.... The grounds were magnificent and tranquil. Deer roam the campus. This is about as close as I could get to them (click to enlarge any photo):

Below, I'm with Wendi from MyMilitaryLife and Mrs. G from Mudville just outside the main entrance to USAA HQ:

The corridors of USAA are a virtual military history museum. They display everything from old military uniforms to POW/MIA bracelets to Three Medals of Honor (under very tight security). It's really incredible, and a constant reminder for their employees as to who they serve, and why.

Pet Peeve #795476

It drives me nuts when we PCS and I don't know anyone local to put in the "Emergency Contact" section of paperwork.

A Good Book, and Some Tea

I've been an avid reader since I was a little girl. Nothing I love more than curling up with a good book, learning about people, places and cultures and escaping to another world. This year has been a busy one and finding time to read has been difficult. A couple of weeks ago, I picked up a book again, and I'm so glad I did. I missed reading; it clears my head....  

In a bit, I'll ask you to share what you're currently reading, and what's on your reading list. But first, over the weekend, I read something interesting:

WASHINGTON — In the frantic last hours of Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal’s command in Afghanistan, when the world wondered what was racing through the general’s mind, he reached out to an unlikely corner of his life: the author of the book “Three Cups of Tea,” Greg Mortenson.

********

In the past year, Mr. Mortenson and his Central Asia Institute, responsible for the construction of more than 130 schools in Afghanistan and Pakistan, mostly for girls, have set up some three dozen meetings between General McChrystal or his senior staff members and village elders across Afghanistan.

The collaboration, which grew in part out of the popularity of “Three Cups of Tea” among military wives who told their husbands to read it, extends to the office of Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Last summer, Admiral Mullen attended the opening of one of Mr. Mortenson’s schools in Pushghar, a remote village in Afghanistan’s Hindu Kush mountains.

Mortenson — who for a time lived out of his car in Berkeley, Calif. — has also spoken at dozens of military bases, seen his book go on required reading lists for senior American military commanders, and had lunch with General David H. Petraeus, McChrystal’s replacement.

Well-Being Index: Life is Good?

Gallup has released some interesting results from their well-being survey. 

Active duty military personnel who have ever been deployed to a foreign war have strikingly similar wellbeing levels as active duty personnel who have never been deployed. In both cases, these levels exceed the wellbeing scores found among U.S. workers in general.

Active duty military personnel who have been deployed are also as likely to rate their lives well enough to be considered "thriving" as those who have not been deployed. Both groups are significantly more likely to be thriving than are American workers overall

Gallup's Bottom Line: 

Despite the challenges of serving abroad in a foreign war, American military personnel surpass American workers in overall wellbeing levels regardless of deployment status. While life evaluation clearly holds up regardless of age, the drop in overall wellbeing among those aged 18 to 29 indicates that foreign war deployment is having an impact on wellbeing overall.

Take a look at the bottom line from Part I of the Gallup well-being survey:

No Howard Hughes Here

I have someone coming over to visit and my house is a wreck.  I'm going to be completely honest here and say my house is ALWAYS a wreck.  I know people who have clean houses.  In fact, I know people who have clean houses AND children!  And jobs, too!  But I'm not now and never have been one of them.

Also, it smells kind of funny here, and I can't quite track down why. 

I've been cleaning.  I've been tracking that scent like a bloodhound.  But things don't seem to get or stay clean.  Which is really embarrassing.  If my guest opens my refrigerator, I think I'll cry.  And that reminds me - I need to scrub out the microwave, too.  Ooops.

I would really appreciate it if, (1) someone could tell me I'm not alone here.  Also (2) if someone has a solution to the fact that every time I leave a room it magics itself into some kind of cleaning fiasco, that would be great. 

Thanks in advance. 

This and That: Neat Stuff, News and Helpful Links

Meet the Most Powerful Moms in the Military.

Important Mental Health News from COL Sophia Tillman-Ortiz, U.S. Army PDHRA Executive Officer:

For the last five years, the U.S. Army Post-Deployment Health Reassessment (PDHRA) has offered post-deployed Soldiers and DA Civilians the opportunity to take a closer look at their health.  Having led this program for the last two years, I have witnessed how the PDHRA has directly impacted lives. 

We’ve all been told to brush off the ache in our knee or to not worry about another sleepless night, but science tells us that these could be symptoms versus just an isolated ailment.  The only way to know is to talk it over with a health care provider.  It is for this reason that I call our Soldiers’ attention to this program, particularly if they are in the 90-180 day post-deployment window.  It isn’t a check in the box. Speaking with the health care provider is an opportunity to gain piece-of-mind that concerns are being addressed in a timely manner.

Therefore, I ask you or your loved one to take a stance and make sure that all redeployed Soldiers take the PDHRA.  A few clicks and a conversation could be the opportunity that ensures a Soldier doesn’t slip through the cracks. To learn more about the PDHRA please click here.

Are you adopting a child? Did you know you may be entitled to some financial relief?

A friend of a friend started Battle Saint. One dollar from the sale of each bracelet goes to The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.

Don't forget to sign up for SpouseBUZZ LIVE Mountain Home AFB or SpouseBUZZ LIVE Honolulu, Hawaii. Details here.

Support, Fault, Blame, and the Front of the Commisary Line

When the military lifestyle turns into a soap opera (not one that runs on the Lifetime Network), it does so in A VERY BIG WAY.

There has been no avoiding this story, really, since it's all over the place and we all have strong feelings about this sort of activity.  Or rather, bullying.  Actually, I'm not sure that even the word bullying applies here - but I think that for those of us on the outside of the story, eyebrows raised in horror and a bit of resigned shock.  And embarrassment.

More Contests and Promotions: Vacations, Skin Care Products and More

Background on our 30 Day/30 Contests trial can be found by clicking here.

Below are the newest additions:

Click here for a chance to win a $250,000 home make-over courtesy of Oprah

Click here for a chance to win a trip to Tahiti and Bora Bora

Click here for a chance to win a $1,000 AMEX card and Clinique Skin Care products

Click here to win a Gold Monogrammed Pendant

To catch up on previous sweepstakes, click here.

Twelve down, 18 more to go. More coming later. Thanks for all the tips, please keep them coming.... 

I'm Telling You, One of Us is Going to Win Something...

I won't post contests/sweepstakes on a daily basis as some of them might fall through the cracks, but the goal is 30 contests in 30 days, so I'll post a compilation of them twice a week or so. Background here. I know many of you are preparing for Memorial Day weekend, so we'll post again on Tuesday after the holiday. For now, here we go:

Enter here for a chance to win $75,000 from DIY Network.

And from our readers, see the contests below:

Kirsten sends along a link for a chance at winning a $5,000 jackpot of prizes. Click here to enter.

And from Bobbie Jo, who should be receiving some prizes any day now as the winner of our 2009 Challenge, comes this.

Please keep the suggestions coming. The goal is 30!

Previous links:

HGTV's Green Home 2010

Seven-Day Walking Food Tour of Italy

Ellen's daily giveaway

Honda Civic SI

30 Days/30 Contests: Let's Do This....

Three contests/sweepstakes for you to enter as we continue with our 30 days/30 contests trial. These contests are for Saturday, Sunday and Today.

First, here's one courtesy of Oprah. It's a Seven-Day Walking Food Tour of Italy. Click here to enter.

Ellen has a daily giveaway. Click here to enter.

Finally, enter here to win a Honda Civic SI and a bicycle.

Thanks to those of you who sent contest info my way. Keep them coming!

Previous:

HGTV's Green Home 2010

Free Admission All Summer

600 Museums Offer FREE Admission to Military

Thirty Days, Thirty Contests?

That's the plan. 

How many of you have seen those Publisher's Clearing House commercials where people win gobs of money and thought, Yeah, Right?

Me, too. I'm not what you would call a "lucky" person. I don't win things. But for the next 30 days, it's not going to be for lack of trying. I had this nutty idea that I would enter a contest every day for a month and see if I could win something. Anything. Then I thought, there's power in numbers. What if we all entered contests for the next 30 days together. If I didn't win something, surely one of you would, right? 

But I'll need some help finding contests to enter. If you know of a promotion or contest worth entering, tell us about it. I'm afraid I might run out of contests if I'm trying to search for them solo. Power in numbers, and all. 

We're going to start with a biggie because I really, really, really want this one. If I can't have it, I want one of you to have it. It's HGTV's Green House 2010. You not only win a house, but you win a car and $100,000! Yowza... Click here to register.

Let's give it a whirl together and see what happens. Hopefully one or more of us will walk away with something!

And if one of you win the house, can I come visit? Please....

MOAA Spouse Symposium Live Stream

She of the Sea, airforcewife and I are sitting on panels at the Fourth Annual MOAA Spouse Symposium today in Virginia Beach, VA. The symposium runs from 9:00 - 3:00 EST and the SpouseBUZZ panel will run from 2:00 - 3:00. We had a great dinner with our MOAA hosts last night and are looking forward to the panel sessions today. The symposium will be streamed live on the web. Below is the embedded video stream. If for some reason you're having issues with the embedded version, click here to watch. You can also follow MOAA's twitter feed for live updates throughout the day.  

Watch live streaming video from militaryofficersassociation at livestream.com

Excuse Me, That's Just Weird

These are Air Force Family's dogs, Ike and Mamie.
 

Ike and Mamie have been wonderful companions, and they love everyone.  Mamie, in particular, has a thing for babies. 

Ike, however, apparently has had some issues come up. 

Want to Be on Tee-Vee?

Any military wife or mom who wants to come into midtown Manhattan Saturday morning by 7am, dressing in a t-shirt and workout clothes that are camouflage or say "army" on them (or something similar) can come to 48th and 6th to the plaza of Fox News Channel for a live Fox and Friends healthy moms fitness segment with the creator of the Military Wife Workout DVD. Email Nikki Fitness by clicking here for more details

NikkiFitness, Nicole Glor, is an AFAA certified NYC personal trainer, group fitness instructor at Crunch in Manhattan and fitness columnist for Military.com. Her workouts focus on multitasking toning and cardio intervals to cut workout time in half and boost metabolism. She has 4 DVDs on Amazon including the new Fit Travel Workout DVD, Booty Camp, Military Wife Workout and the Beach Bride Destination Wedding Workout. Coming soon: Baby Bootie Camp DVD and Hard Core Abs. Get her newsletters, music playlists, video demos and DVDs here. 

And the Winner is.....

SpouseBUZZ would like to congratulate Bobbie Jo for winning the 2009 SpouseBUZZ Challenge. Bobbie Jo will receive a basket full of goodies for completing the challenge, getting organized and clearing the clutter from her life.

Bobbie Jo will be authoring a guest post on the process and we'll post it here at SpouseBUZZ shortly.

Congrats, Bobbie Jo! Great work...

 

This and That

Some of the SpouseBUZZers will be participating in MOAA's upcoming Spouse Symposium held in Virginia Beach on Thursday, May 13. We hope to see you there. For details, and to register, click here.

Blue Star Families would like you to participate in Military Lifestyle Survey. Click here to take the survey.

Check out the Military Spouse Internship program if you're a milspouse looking for a federal government job. Some good stuff there.

And finally, if you've been living under a rock and haven't seen this - you're in for a treat!

MOAA Spouse Symposium: May 13

She of the Sea, airforcewife and I will be participating in some panel discussions at MOAA's Fourth Annual Spouse Symposium in Virginia Beach on Thursday, May 13. More information, including how to register, can be found here. It's going to be a great day and we hope area spouses (and anyone else who wants to come) will attend the Symposium. MOAA has a great day planned, including lunch with General James Mattis!

Thanks to MOAA for inviting SpouseBUZZ to participate.

To Foster or Not to Foster? That is the Question...

I ran across PetsForPatriots today and found myself browsing their foster home section. For a couple of years after losing my bestest friend ever, my husband and I couldn't even think about getting another dog. We did, however, adopt a cat and the adoption process was, well, interesting. And my son is, well, independent. I love him with all my heart and I'd do anything for him but, he's not a dog. And there is a difference. 

Lately, I've been dropping hints to my husband (Hi, Honey) that I'm ready to start looking for a dog. The hints haven't exactly been subtle, and they haven't gone unnoticed. Nor have they been met with the response I had hoped.

The Big Bad Wolf

Lately I have felt like one of the Three Little Pigs whose house got blown in by The Big Bad Wolf.  We had to buy a house at our last duty station and we put it on the market when we moved last summer (but couldn't sell it, thanks to the economy).  We now have tenants who are renting the house and the house seems to keep falling apart.

Txt to Donate

I'll admit, I am horrid about participating in these types of things. 

A mini-miracle occurred last week.  I picked up our base newspaper from the front yard *the day it was delivered*.  And it wasn't water logged or anything. 

On the back of our AAFES flyer was an ad from M&Ms.  They are having a vote for your favorite color sweepstakes but have added some covers for us military families. 

The best part was seeing that they will be donating one dollar for each vote to the Fisher House.
In addition to voting on the website, you can text your favorite color to 41513.  No charge from the candy company, but your service provider's regular messaging rates will apply. 

A trip to the website shows their maximum donation to the Fisher House will be $10,000 and I hope they make it.  If you are so inclined, support this great cause. 

As an aside, do all branches call them covers?  Because Seadaddy calls everything a cover at this point.

Keeping the Home Fires Lit

Ever since he started taking boxing classes, my seven year old son has been stating his intention to be a fighter sponsored by Ranger Up.  It's not surprising that he knows who they are - my husband has been coveting several of their t-shirts for quite awhile, and Ranger Up is represented at every Milblog Conference (which I usually attend with kids in tow, as I do most things).   And anyone who has ever spent three seconds around a military person will immediately recognize the vein of humor running through many of their blog posts and stories - my husband's favorite to read and re-read being The Dining In Story, which continues to reduce my husband to tears of snot-choked laughter (and the barest hint of envy that he didn't manage to pull such a thing off) every time he reads it.

Recently, something was posted there that is a must read for spouses - Keeping the Home Fires Lit.

Thanks, guys.  This spouse with a deployed husband really needed to read that about now.  And I'm pretty sure I'll be reading it again - probably over and over - in the months that we have left to go.

Just a Picture

Our Andi (who seems to be everywhere!) at the Milblog Conference this weekend (as taken by Evil Blond Air Force Child).

 

I think I've been "Sis-Bro'd"

This week while participating in a symposium for women moving into executive positions, I had the great opportunity to introduce them to our family of Military Spouses, using SpouseBUZZ.  What a great time and a marvelous experience.  For you new to these pages, Welcome!

Along the way we were immersed this week in ideas and concepts that gave all of us better tools to put in our toolkit.  We addressed the spectrum of feelings and emotion, from the joys of learning myriad ways to support people, to the feeling the pain of loss of a loved one and as importantly, what you do ...next.

At the conclusion of the week, they were granted access to a self-described Sisterhood, but within a tick-tock realized that obviously, I couldn't be a full dues paying member of this team ... obviously.  So they made me an honorary Sister, and renamed themselves and welcomed me to "Sis-Bro"  ... you may snicker, but when you've eaten nothing other than 6.3 pounds of peanut M&M's over the course of a week, you get that way ...

I welcome them to our pages and if we can coax them into it, we should be seeing some new names in our neck of the blogosphere.  To you all, thank you for the education you gave me this week and thank you for reaffirming the needs and the responsibilities of the mil-spouse.  We are one.  You will all be welcomed here at SpouseBUZZ, as you will see it really is where Military Spouses Connect.  Over&Out, MaintenanceToadOne

"Talk, Listen, Connect” 2010 Tour

USO Announces Sesame Workshop Tour Dates

The Sesame Street/USO Experience for Military Families, a free traveling USO show based on Sesame Workshop’s award winning “Talk, Listen, Connect” initiative and produced in partnership with Vee, is back in the United States after an around-the-world tour.

The show, which is exclusively for military families, kicks off its second swing through the United States on April 17 at Fort Knox, Ky.

Audiences will experience a 25-minute character performance and receive promotional items and outreach materials, officials said.

The Sesame Street Workshop/USO partnership put on its first show at Twentynine Palms, Calif., in July 2008. Since then, The Sesame Street/USO Experience for Military Families has traveled more than 45,000 miles to 76 bases in nine countries. More than 120,000 servicemembers and families have been entertained during 176 shows.

“The momentum that this show has gathered since it first performed for military kids and families is unbelievable,” said Gary E. Knell, Sesame Workshop president and CEO. “To see how families come together and then use the messages from the show to talk to their kids is the greatest reward that we could ask for. We at Sesame Workshop are thrilled to continue this work with our partners and friends at the USO and reinforce our commitment to military families.”

Sloan Gibson, USO president, noted the positive impact the tour is having on the military community.

“The fact that more than 100,000 troops and family members have attended these shows so far speaks volumes about the tour’s relevance to today’s military,” Gibson said. “We listen to our troops and understand the challenges they face at home, and are proud to call Sesame Workshop our partner in helping to ease the daily stresses on military families.”

English to Militarese FAIL - Case Study #2543

One of the instructors at my gym is a Marine currently awaiting information on the packet he submitted for OCS (or do Marines call it OTS?  I get all the different service terms confused fairly frequently).  He is a very nice guy and a great coach - he's already got quite a following in the kickboxing classes and he's only been at our gym about six weeks!

And it's not just women who swear by his coaching either, so although he's really is a cutie, I don't think that's the only reason for his following.  His classes are hard, and they are effective.  He's very good at leading, and kids in particular think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Anyway, sometimes he and I have some service-related conversations going on;  he likes to get all "Oorah" and I like to remind him that the Air Force has better cable channels.  He waxes poetic about the Beef Rav MREs and I remind him that the Air Force has this thing called a "cafeteria" where hot food is served (although the Navy's lobster dinners totally win in that category, I think). 

We were having one of those conversations last week when I experienced a major English to Militarese FAIL.

I know ... I promised not to ...

... but I just have to toss out another rhetorical situation ... (really!  It IS rhetorical!  I HAVE deleted the names and places and ... you know, all of that other "Dragnet" stuff. Wait.  Now I have to look it up.  Can yall read the next post while I do this please?)

In these pages, I've asked often about the relevancy of Spouses' Clubs.  No, not FRGs, or AFRCs, or any of the spouse "clubs" organized by the Services and set up to disseminate information or be a point around which focus can be placed on the greater good or mission of an organization.  Nay nay ... what I'm asking about are those now famous and sometimes infamous OWCs/OSCs and EWCs/ESCs.  Now before the beatings begin -- caveat -- FIRST AND UP FRONT, many of these Clubs are great!  Yours may be one!  Great!  Count your blessings, participate, and learn what you can and take it with you as a treasured gift to your next installation -- puh-lese!

All of these Clubs are chartered and granted permission to be constituted on, and conduct their affairs on the post or base.  The Garrison Commander or similar (Wing Commander) after JAG review of the constitution, agrees for this Club to be on base as long as they adhere to all of the tenets of DOD policy.  Basically, within the legal tenets of the charter, the constitution will address and make provisions for everyone who "can play" should be "allowed to play."  Oh ... Really?

Something just struck me as odd though, for those major installations that support a student population.  Shouldn't the spouses of students be allowed unfettered access to and participation at al levels in these clubs?  Ready to take a ride ... then let's continue reading ...

More on MyCAA

The previous post regarding MyCAA is updated with current information and people are continuing to comment.

See the most recent updates here.

Our imaginary flag

I enjoy watching military movies and tv shows and documentaries with my husband.   Being in the Navy and what he does is such a huge part of him and how he spends his days (and sometimes nights and weeks and months), but it is a part of him that I don't really get to know about.  Not with any real depth or context.  So glancing over to see his face as he watches Bad Voodoo's War or sitting down together to watch The Hurt Locker is a way to bridge that gap.

When my husband returns from deployment we readjust our Married Unit queue on Netflix so we will have things to watch together.  When he came home two years ago we rolled through the NCIS series.  And he developed a habit that still carries through today.

Periodically Seadaddy will reach behind him and pull out the imaginary BS flag to wave around as a signal for me to pause what we are watching.  Then I will hear how those socks are not worn with that uniform, or why that chain of events would never occur, and on and on (and on and on).  I can see how this might drive someone else crazy, but I really love it.  It is one of the things I am going to miss the most when he leaves this summer. 

I am not saying we sit and hold hands while watching Army Wives.  There are limits.  Even if it is imaginary, he'd rather find a way to poke his eye out with the BS flag than watch some things.

But I like being able to learn little by little some of what he knows and does. 

A few military spouses have started a new blog reviewing military themed movies.  And as I was reading their posts, it seems I am not alone in appreciating the chance movies give us to gain perspective of our spouse's experiences.  

Where do you fall when it comes to watching this genre of films and tv?  Do you stay away altogether when they are deployed and even when they are home?  Do you enjoy the fact checking play by play?  Do you not see the point in nitpicking something that isn't real? 

What Is Going On With MyCAA?

Everyone is asking - few answers are available.

Um, Hello? Snowmaggedon Here!

Last night I got a phone call from Air Force Guy.   He said, quite brightly, "So, I see you're getting some snow!"

Have You Been Through Deployment?

Are you a spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, parent or sibling of a servicemember who has been or is currently deployed?  If your answer is yes, then this (portions of it, if not all of it) will likely touch you. 

You are not alone within your experiences or feelings.  And sometimes the best feeling in the world is to know that you are not alone.

The Box I Never Unpack

Most families I've talked to that move frequently have a box or two that never gets unpacked no matter how often or where they move.  We all have a vague idea of what is in that box, but there's no sense of urgency.  We probably won't need it, but we can't get rid of it.  There's a feeling that the box we never unpack is important somehow.

A few days ago I was packing my basement up for remodeling project number 68,742 and I came across that box.  It's pretty beat up by now.  It's falling apart, to be honest.  And since I only had a vague idea of what was in it, I figured I'd go through the never-unpacked box and sort through things.

Guess what I found...

Locate caregiver services and more - for free!

Could you use some help with locating a babysitter, daily childcare, pet care, senior care, tutoring or a house cleaner?  If so, then this service is just for you.  And for military families - it is totally free!

When DH retires

Do you ever daydream about what your house will look like when your spouse finally retires/separates from the military and you stop moving?  I read magazines with lots of great decorating and organizational ideas (and I NEED organization in my house!) and there's lots of great stuff out there.  Then I realize I don't have a house to call my own.  I do my best to make whatever house I live in cozy and comfortable, but I don't buy curtains or anything "super-special" because I know I have to leave it all behind. 

For Civilians

SpouseBUZZ is a site by military spouses for military spouses, but I'd like to write this post for someone else - civilians.  I live in a civilian community right now, and I've been lucky.  I am surrounded by people who have been truly helpful and kind.  They want to do what they can for our family while Air Force Guy is deployed and I appreciate it more than I can say. 

But wanting to help and understanding how to help are two entirely different things.  And honestly it really doesn't help that I'm fairly typical as far as military spouses go in not wanting to let people know I need help.  Because I'm Superwoman and I can do it all myself,  thank you.  Don't want to put anyone out - I'm fine...  In military-speak we all know that means, "Um, guys?  Can I get a hand here?"  Actually, it wouldn't come out in military speak because we often tend to just barge in with each other and do what needs to be done.  When you get a bunch of truly capable and strong women together in one small area, things get done - let me tell you.  My teenager spent her weekends mowing several neighborhood lawns one year during a large deployment; there was no asking if it was needed, we knew it was needed and it got done. 

Anyway - we speak the same language.  The civilians who surround me truly try, but they don't.  They want to, but Rosetta Stone doesn't offer that course (yet).  And so it gets weird, particularly awhile ago when AFG's folks took some casualties.

An Open Question

Just how many unit, deployment, event, and military themed t-shirts does one service-member need?

Seriously.  I really need to know this. 

Because 17 years from first signing the dotted line, I'm finally going through these things and I'm pretty sure I'll hit 100.  At least.

The Final Challenge

As I stated in the last post on this topic, this year was definitely a learning experience. We'll host one month, winner takes all each month challenges next time we do this. My visions are often grander than what can actually be achieved. My personal 2010 challenge is to tackle projects and goals which can realistically be met... More of a resolutation than a challenge, I suppose.

The year will be over in several hours, but we're not done yet. Most of us have a long weekend ahead of us and it could be a good time to get started on the items below. This challenge is designed so that you'll be uber-prepared to tackle the new year. You have until January 20 to achieve the tasks below. The winner of the 2009 SpouseBUZZ Challenge will be announced in early February.

How do you define "accomplishment?"

I read She of the Sea's post about how we milspouses manage to do things (while our spouse is deployed) that appear, at first, too overwhelming.  Then we accomplish these things and often wonder how in the world we did it and lived to tell the tale!

One of my personal accomplishments was finishing graduate school.  It took me 4 1/2 years, but I did it.  That was major for me.  But sometimes I (we) have goals that may seem small and minute compared to finishing school or landing a great job or surviving a deployment.  Sometimes just making it through one day, let alone one hour, is a huge accomplishment (when our spouses are home or away).

"Listening Sessions" Survey

Officials Seek Feedback on Family Programs

It's that time of year again......

 

It is time to join the countdown and get geared up for tracking Santa.

The NORAD tracks Santa site is now live and features fun holiday games and activities that change daily. 

We Have a Winner

OK, military poker game?  Bonnie Hoagland wins.  She just flat-out wins.  Period.

Military Wife Prepares to Send Three Sons, Husband to Afghanistan

Three of her four sons and her husband will soon deploy to war-torn Afghanistan while her fourth and oldest son recuperates at home from injuries he suffered during his last tour of duty.

(link via Blackfive)

Would you want your child to serve?

On Veteran's Day I received a sweet note from a friend - she thanked me (back in the day I was in the Army) and my husband for serving, as well as a handful of her other military (or former military) friends.  My friend mentioned that she would be very proud if any of her sons (she has 3) ever joined the military.

Two of the other recipients of this note from my friend did a "reply all" and I was surprised at their reaction to my friend mentioning her sons ever possibly joining the military.

Awwwwwwwww

Can't find it on YouTube, so no way to embed it, but trust me, you'll love it. Click here to see what "it" is.