It Starts Young

I find myself explaining a lot of military humor to people who aren't normally associated with military endeavors. 

It's gallows humor, definitely.  And then there's the teasing aspect - I can make fun of the Air Force, but God help someone not affiliated with the military trying to.  Just doesn't roll well, you know?  It's okay for us to call people PowerPoint Rangers, but if some TV pundit tried it I'd be at the front of the spitting line.

And it's not just my husband or myself with these humor issues - my kids pick them up.  I think they pick them up in the womb.

In fact, just a few weeks ago we had a bit of an issue with this.

The Parent Zone

Frequent commenter and fellow milspouse/milparent LAW has just started up a blog for military parents called Parents Zone. 

From the blog:   "A page for parents – a place to gather online to talk to other parents of serving soldiers/airmen/marines/sailors/coast guards/national guard of any persuasion ( ok, did I get everyone now?) , to get information, to connect… are you interested?"

I know I'm going to be passing this link around to parents in my son's unit as well as to friends who have sons or daughters in the military!!!

Gone, but not THAT Gone

I've had some very interesting conversations lately.  Air Force Guy is not getting ready for a deployment right now (as if anything is ever set in stone in this lifestyle), but we do know that he will be spending the rest of the year TDY.

This is the first time we've had an extended TDY that is not a deployment while living in a civilian community.  And the results and explanations coming out of this have been very interesting, to say the least.

We've Known Each Other That Long...

As the week hurtles toward Saturday and my law school graduation ceremony, I am taking stock of the past two years and thought it might be fun if you did too...

Incongruities

Yesterday, was a good day.  As I came back on to the installation, the bright sun was at my back casting a beautiful glow on the mountains.  That would be enough to make most of us stop and just be happy to be living.  Then my eyes spotted the movement before the sound reached my ears.  Fighter Jets!  There were a couple sets of military jets doing lazy overhead maneuvers, the sun at their backs as they reached out and danced among the mountain peaks.  Years of walking flightlines, launching and recovering aircraft, this sight brought back warm and fond memories of a life well spent in a profession I love. Yes, Life was good ... life IS good.

Which made it that much more ethereal when I snapped back to where I had just been and the presentation I had just heard.  For while watching fighter jets reflecting the sun's glint and dancing in the blue sky around snow covered mountains, I now recognized more than ever the incongruities of a dark landscape stretching out under these jets and these mountains.  A landscape that you have around yourselves, if you stop to look.  A landscape we are only now beginning to address with any kind of growing crescendo ... one that until this night, I was going to watch from the sidelines and let one of you carry the cause ... but I cannot.  For I have a wife and a daughter.  And when the statistics bear-out that 1 in 3 women during their lifetimes will be sexually assaulted, I simply cannot sit on my hands.

You know my direction, and you now have the option.  Choose to come along; click, Continue reading ...

The Perfect Storm of Stress

Back in October, I was contacted by a writer from Military Spouse Magazine asking me if I knew of anyone who was going through infertility treatments at home alone while her husband was deployed.  At the time, I didn't.

Little did I know that if she'd waited six months to write the article, she could've used me as a source.

The Phone on My Hip

Like many military spouses, I carry around my phone like it is some kind of life support device.  If I don't have it, I don't just get irritated - I feel naked.

And there's a reason, too.  I was trained long ago to realize that call opportunities don't come at set times, and it was easier to carry around an umbilical cord - errr, cell phone - and be available whenever AFG was able to get to a phone in whatever ugly place he's in.

I stay in this habit even when he is working somewhere close and coming home each night.  Like now.

Did You Hear That?

Earlier yesterday I believe the Heavens opened, the clouds parted, and choirs of angels sang the Hallelujah Chorus.  Or whatever it is that angel choirs sing when a moment of supreme wonderful-ness happens on Earth.

I think -- I THINK -- I have found a babysitter.

What's in a Word?

For several months, He of the Sea and I have gradually started discussing his upcoming "big trip" with our children.  There were a few questions and moments of concern, but I thought that they were handling it pretty well and taking their cues from our positive attitude.  Honestly, after Daddy's last big trip, this one should be a piece of cake.  I truly believe this and thought that my kids had bought into it also. 

One day last week, we were talking about something that would happen while Daddy was gone.  Suddenly, as if stunned, my eight year old daughter asked, "Is Daddy being DEPLOYED?"

Bonding Season begins!

It's that season again.  Time for military brats everywhere to begin the age old bonding ritual that has been amazing parents for generations.  I was witness to this ritual among my own children recently.  It's what makes our kids special, well-adjusted and successful!!!!

The TLF bonding experience.

Things That Crack Me Up

Since we are no longer living on a base and we are living in a community that is not largely military, I've started a new past-time:  watching my kids interact with kids who have never been associated with the military.

Let me tell you, it can be hilarious.

Rituals

Today, our post had a social worker speak about raising resilient children.  One of her points was that family rituals help create structure for children, especially during times of upheaval.  I thought about my family's main rituals:  Friday afternoon cookies and Friday night pizza.  (The rest are about food, too, if you are seeing a connection.)  My kids seem to enjoy the regularity of those two things, things we are able to do even during a move, while traveling, or while Dad is deployed.

What rituals has your family created?  I would love to add to our collection!

Advice from the Trenches

When taking a roiling horde of children to get passports done, be sure to take some kind of calming medication.  Valium might work.  Or large quantities of wine.

For you, or for the kids.  It really doesn't matter much.  Either they will be quiet and good for the ten hours you wait in line, or you won't care how they're behaving.

I wish someone had told me that before we had to go to the Post Office for our passport applications this morning.  One way or another, it would have kept my blood pressure within acceptable levels.

Also - the Post Office won't let you use their bathroom.  I'll throw that tidbit in for free.

Bloggers' Roundtable with Secretary Pete Geren

Some of you (one of you?) may remember my opportunity to speak with the then-acting Secretary of the Army, Mr. Pete Geren when he visited Schofield Barracks back in July of 2007. This morning I had yet another opportunity to speak with him on a variety of subjects including the Army Family Covenant and the Army's work on transforming warrior care for it's servicemembers.

There were 6 other bloggers involved so I was only able to ask one of the questions I had prepared. My question was:

With regard to the Army Family Covenant, can you clarify the Army's position on the use of paid FRG (Family Readiness Group) positions? Will this be a global policy? A regional one? And how is the decision made to hire versus when to rely solely on volunteers?

Mr. Geren clarified that this policy is global and will be implemented all the way down to the Battalion level throughout the entire Army. In the past these paid positions were only instituted down to the Brigade level but the Army is beginning to realize (finally) the strain that multiple deployments places on it's volunteers.

The Army is increasing the amount of money it is spending on family support programs from $700 million to $1.4 billion in FY2009 and a large percentage of that will go toward these paid FRG positions.

Here in Hawaii, we have already seen evidence of the Army Family Covenant in action - at the level of Children and Youth Services (to include free registration, increased respite care hours, free or discounted classes, etc.), increased services at physical fitness centers, etc. Hopefully this trend will continue (us military spouses are a skeptical bunch, especially when it comes to promises made and often broken) and the money will be put to good use.

Oh. My. God.

This morning I thought, "Wow!  Things seem to be going really smoothly lately!  How nice!"

That is a very stupid thing for airforcewife to do.  Very stupid. 

Simply Saturday

Our weekdays are usually packed. School, Awana, gymnastics, errands, doctor and dentist visits, homework, night classes, gym time...it goes on and on. I've found that by the end of the week, we're literally craving some downtime.

Which is just what we gave ourselves today.

The War Before

One of the hardest things for me to hear from people when my husband is gone or deployed is, "I'm sorry." 

Stewing in Funk-ville

Okay, maybe not stewing, but having a REALLY hard time finding my way out of Funk-ville!

Do you ever feel like you just can't catch a break?  I'm sure you do.  And in all honesty, my life is not exactly "bad," but I feel like I am riding this never-ending merry-go-round that has hidden "surprises" around every third turn.  I don't even know if that makes any sense.  I am writing as I type, which is not always a safe thing to do when lots of other people will read this.  BUT, SpouseBuzz is about the good and the bad and all the in-betweens.  So here's my in-between... I think.

The Continuing Saga of Life With a Crazy Russian Mother-in-Law

Until my mother-in-law lost her mind, I hadn't even heard of a "Sandwich Generation" - the people who are taking care of both their parents and their children at the same time period. 

Then Air Force Guy and I got shoved firmly (and with quite a protest, I tell you what) into Sandwich-hood with a bang. Air Force Family does everything with a bang, though, so that's not unusual. 

What is turning out to make our Sandwich Generation experience a bit unique, though, is the fact that we're a military family sandwich.  A military family sandwich with  foreign parents.   RUSSIAN foreign parents.  Crazy Russian former parents.  And the fact that we're 3000 miles away from her and moving every few years makes explaining the strange things that come up and the cultural idiosyncrasies of her friends just a bit more involved and difficult than if we lived close enough to do real damage control.

Case in point - our conversation last night with my Father-in-Law.

What Would Melody Do?

I'm not entirely socially adept.

"What? Oh no, airforcewife! I'm utterly SHOCKED! I thought you had calling cards, wore your hair in an elegant chignon, and had white gloves of various lengths for different social visits! You seem so prim and proper!"

Sure, you know that's what you were thinking. I'm good at hiding the truth.

Luckily for me and anyone who has had to attend some kind of airforcewife sponsored shindig, I have a secret weapon.

Hey, It's Free!

One of the very many perks of living on or near a base is definately PCS season.

Ah, yes.  PCS Season.  Otherwise known as, "I'm 700 pounds over my weight limit and desperately need to downsize" season.  For those of us not PCSing, it is also known as "Second Christmas."

Many's the time in my over 10 years as a military wife that I've found items that I absolutely COULD NOT fathom being without before I stand before the Throne of God and account for my life.  I never knew how unfulfilled I was without that papa-san frame, but when I saw it sitting conveniently on the curb across from my house I realized that it was what my life had been missing.  Ditto for the particle board tv stand and the three pedal cars my son spent an entire summer enjoying.

So when we moved away from base, I had to find a way to assuage my guilt at just throwing perfectly good items away and also score some neat free stuff I never knew I was missing.

I joined the local Freecycling list.  And I had no idea what I was getting into.

Tonight on SpouseBuzz Talk Radio, PTSD part 2

Last week, Joan D' Arc and I were joined by PTSD specialist Dr. Roca for an hour where we discussed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

It is hard to summarize the discussion in brief, but I think Dr. Roca made one thing clear to all of us who participated. 

When your loved one returns from combat, there might be changes.  Some of those may be more apparent than others.  But if your family, is experiencing any changes that are not comfortable for all of those in the house, help is needed and available. 

Sometimes I feel as if those in the military community feel shame in asking for help on all levels, but certainly the mental health of our households should be held in high regard.  We talk a lot here at SpouseBuzz about getting over pride, and asking for help when you need it, even the little things, like  yard work, childcare etc.   So it only seems fitting that in cases where real psychological help is needed one should seek help.

I also realize the stigma involved with our strong, and heroic husbands seeking treatment.

However, we all know that in the end if help is sought, it can prevent a lot of problems.

PTSD does not always shows its face upon arrival home, and may rear its head at any time, in fact it could be years.

Tonight, join us again on SpouseBuzz Talk Radio to discuss PTSD, some of the harder symptoms to discuss, and treatment options.

I continue to believe if we as spouses, and families discuss PTSD on a regular basis, it will remove some of the stigma, and stereotypes associated with  PTSD. 

Join us tonight at SpouseBuzz Talk Radio at 9pm EST to discuss PTSD, and treatment.  We will have the chat room open.  If you cannot join us for the discussion, you may want to leave a question or comment and we will certainly try and address it. 

And You Thought I Needed Your Advice... Why?

I'm a "sandwicher".  I am taking care of my kids and taking care of my old, cantankerous, Russian Mother-in-Law at the same time.

And it really sucks.

As if the stress and strain of trying to care of a old woman whose mind is no longer with us across 3000 miles during deployments isn't enough suckiness, we get the added suck of career advice from people who think they know what's best for everyone involved even though they've never lived a military lifestyle.

And, since you asked, why yes I did have one of those confrontations today!

Ah, But There are Similarities, Too...

We often discuss the differences between civilian life and military life here at SpouseBUZZ. One of the topics we've covered pretty extensively is how often we're geographically separated from family and how, due to a variety of factors, we are unable to see them as often as most of us would prefer.

Last week, we buried my grandmother. Over the past few years when I visited her, it was to see her and I rarely saw my extended family, so I knew that I'd be the one who had missed family reunions, funerals, weddings and births. I anticipated that the conversations I would have with my family would revolve around catching up. Blanks would be filled in. Huge blanks. We would say how great it was to see each other "after all these years." And it happened exactly that way, but something else happened, too. Something that surprised me. Something I hadn't even considered.

Reason #5280 My Husband Will Never Make General

I think armywifetoddlermom started a good series here.  It's especially good because I can participate.  In fact, I think I can give many people a run for their money.

Like the time I went through an entire receiving line at an 06 promotion with a booger hanging out of my nose.

A big one.

That was embarrassing.

I've Spoken Too Soon

Last week we had two SpouseBUZZ authors down for the count, and I think a few more hanging on for dear life. 

Ahhh, cold and flu and walking pneumonia season.  You've gotta love it.

Meanwhile, I was smirking in my morning tea because I felt great.  I take Ester C every day, I also take about (and I'm not exaggerating here) 14 supplements daily (some are double doses, though, so it's really about 9 different supplements) - I thought I was doing great!  I thought, "Hey, airforcewife KNOWS what to do, ya'll!"  Also, we homeschool our kids, so we don't get exposed to the constant stream of boogery viruses and hacking cough bacteria that most families have to deal with.

How many times have I told myself that life doesn't offer guarantees?  And why don't I ever listen?  Because today I woke up feeling like my head was stuffed with cotton and I've had to ban all children from whatever bathroom is nearest so that I can get there in emergencies.  I don't think I'll be leaving the house today.

Curses - cold and flu crud!  And damn you, Karma! 

What do I do with turnip greens?

For the past three years, my family has participated in a Community Supported Agriculture program, and we love it! We learn about the food we eat, keep a local farm in business, and keep the land from being turned into a development.  And it's fresher than the commissary!

What is it?  Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) is a way for people to partner with local farmers, providing the farmer with guaranteed markets for the farm's products.  Individuals purchase shares of a CSA and in return, they receive a share of each week's harvest.  Each CSA has its own flavor, variables include:

A cast, a button-down shirt, a 4 year old, and a coffee table

Next time you get dressed in your comfy jeans and button-down shirt, imagine the following:

Your left arm is in a cast from your elbow to the middle of your fingers (and you don't have a pinky), and you don't have an opposable thumb because of nerve damage.  Now, on your right hand you can't use your thumb because the Dr. removed most of your nail so it grows back correctly - and it's REALLY sensitive!  Oh, and your thumb on your right hand is also not opposable.

Now, button your pants and your shirt without becoming incredibly frustrated...

PCS Benefits

I like moving, I really do.  I know, that makes me weird.  But aside from the fact that moving seems like a vacation paid for out of the ever-so-gracious pocket of Uncle Sam, moving also allows me something particularly necessary after a few years (or sometimes a few months) in one spot.

The ability to start over where people don't know me, my family, or our... um... "issues" is a God Send.

Case in point - today's incident at Little Gym.  Which I will be happy to leave behind.

Further Confessions of a Military Spouse

Today I had a moment between teaching my son to subtract and grading the third daughter's math.  Because I tend to multitask when possible, I decided to clean behind the coffee maker on the counter while I was drilling #3 on her spelling words. 

WHAT IS THAT SMELL?????  And other than resolving never to move the coffee maker from it's ordained spot on the counter, how do I prevent that in the future?

Can Do Spirit?

Today I woke up and was at the point of no return.  I'd had it.  I didn't care how cold it was outside, I didn't care if my kids were cranky, I didn't care if I felt overwhelmed with things to accomplish.

I WAS GOING TO EXERCISE IF IT KILLED ME.

The Poacher Dude

We run into all sorts of people during our tours.  Have you ever noticed that every assignment seems to have certain personality types that people fall into?  There's usually "The Busy Guy" - this is the guy (and I use the term in a gender neutral way) that is always at work before everyone else, leaves after everyone else, comes in on the weekends, and just looks weird when they aren't wearing their UOD.

Then there's "The Complaining Guy".  You know which one - the one whose office is too hot/cold/moist/dry/loud/quiet, whose lumbago acts up as soon as someone DITY moves and the office volunteers to help pack up, who gets 1/2 the work done in twice the time as everyone else, and knows every single step necessary to file an IG complaint while often offering to coach others through the process.

We also can't forget to mention "Exasperated Guy".  Exasperated Guy is the one who always seems to have the last minute projects land squarely in his/her lap.  This is not due to poor planning, but rather because Exasperated Guy keeps telling him/herself that THIS time s/he will NOT help the people who don't do their work when they are supposed to, s/he will let them take their medicine so they will learn!  Then, of course, when crunch time rolls around, Exasperated Guy can't stand it and jumps in to pull out a last minute save.  Exasperated Guy usually has a lot Tums hanging around the office and does Pepto shots like they're mixed with jello.

Most recently, Air Force Guy and I have been having several run-ins with a type that I like to call, "The Poacher".

"I Serve FOR My Children"

Blogger and Army wife Sis B just went through an ugly custody battle for her son.  At the trial, her ex-husband's lawyer came at her current husband, Soldier Boy, with this line of questioning:

At the custody trial a few weeks ago, my husband was attacked for his decision to join the military even though he had a daughter. [The ex-husband]'s attorney came at him and asked accusingly, "So your military service is more important to you than your children!?"

And my husband sat up straighter, talked just a smidgeon louder, and said, "I do this FOR my children. I do this so that maybe one day they won't have to. I do this so that they have a better future. So no, my military service is not more important than my children. I serve FOR my children."

His answer was succinct and eloquent (and poorly paraphrased here), and completely lost on everyone else in the room who have never served, who do not understand we are a nation at war, who do not comprehend the meaning of duty or sacrifice. It kills me that he had to stand up to that attack, that he was ridiculed, that they made light of what he has given up.

I find it disgusting that a lawyer would try to use military service to paint someone as an uncaring parent.  I don't know all of the details of the trial, or of Sis B's life and previous marriage, but according to the posts on her blog, it sounds like the judge counted the military lifestyle as a negative strike in making the custody decision.  And that sets my blood boiling.

Deployment does not make you unfit to be a parent.

Ohio National Guard support ROCKS

I am honored to be a part of the Ohio National Guard Interservice Family Assistance Committee (ISFAC).  As I am an Air Force spouse, you might find it a bit odd that I am part of this group, it being a Guard thing and all.   OK, it's sponsored by the Guard, but it's truly inclusive.  Wednesday, I was honored to sit in with people from all services, affiliations with military (spouse, children (mostly represented by parents) and family members) and volunteer organizations (this was my original entre into the group).  I don't know if any other Guard units or states have these organizations, but it you don't - you should.  Take a note from Ohio's page and get on board.  This group is truly out to take care of the troops and the homefront.  Kudos go out to LTC Bramlish and Michele Gire - not to mention the Governor's office who is incredibly supportive!

Thought I'd share a bit about the ISFAC and then write some other posts about the great things they are accomplishing here in Ohio! 

Confessions of a Military Spouse - the Ongoing Saga

To keep up with my husband, my friends from various duty stations, and my family I have no fewer than three instant messaging programs on my computer.  I may have more.  I've stopped counting.

More Proof You Just Can't Take airforcewife Anywhere

Look, as if getting kicked off a talk show, flashing my nether-bits to the Comcast guy, broadcasting my eliminatory functions, and having my son urinate on the base commander's lawn weren't proof enough that I am often somewhat less than socially acceptable in polite circles, I'm about to write about something that I'll bet will make the ever-gracious Andi cringe.

But since I'm far closer to Lucille Ball than Audrey Hepburn (despite all my yearnings to be cool and classy in perfect pearls and an immaculate sweater dress), I'm totally going to go there.

Please, if you will be offended with a post that is not generally acceptable discussion in polite company - skip this jump...

Just sick!

Please understand upfront, I am a wimp.  I hate being sick.  When I feel lousy, esp sinus infection type of feeling lousy, I just want to sit in bed and not deal with the world.  For those of us with kids and a hubby who is out of pocket, this translates into three or four loads of laundry, running to Panera's to get a decent breakfast - thanks to some inspiration from GuardWife!, working on work stuff from bed, thinking about how to make dinner from the upstairs bedroom, cleaning the bathrooms and dusting! 

It's relaxing, no doubt - but I'm sick.  All I can think of is how much I wish I lived close to home - translation, I want my mommy!

I Have an Announcement to Make!

After three visits to the DMV, a visit to the Country Treasurer's Office, a lost car registration from California, and someone attempting to tell me that my CA driver's license, my military ID, my birth certificate, and my social security card were not enough to establish my identity (and causing a fit of rage and temper only someone who knows a redhead in person can appreciate)...

I HAVE A VIRGINIA DRIVER'S LICENSE!!  And my cars are successfully registered, too.

The picture is horrible.

Many, many thanks to those of you who emailed me and commented on my last post about the travails of petty bureaucracy.  It was precisely your suggestions which enabled me to get this done.

Yay for SpouseBUZZ!  Ya'll had a sister's back!

New MRSA test approved

As kids go back to school following the winter break, there's always the thoughts of what lurks in the little germ-infested hands of other children.  This year in Ohio we had an 'outbreak' of MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus).  It's a scary thing.

The FDA has just approved a rapid result blood test to determine if someone has contracted the illness.  It's important that you know this - if your child (or you) gets sick, and you suspect MRSA, be sure to ask for the test.  It only takes two hours for the results to come back - rather than days with the previous test.   Not only can it set your mind at ease, but it can begin life-saving treatment earlier, whether or not it's MRSA!

The Ongoing Saga of Air Force Family's Move (Soon to be a Rock Opera)

Only once in our entire military life have we had to get non-California license plates - and that was because we bought a car in Texas.  I've had the same driver's license picture for about 10 years, also a California thing.

But now we need to get car registrations and licenses at our new place of residence.  I had no idea what I was getting into when I left the house this morning.

The good, the bad and the ugly

The one thing I really hate about being a military wife is being away from family.  Until I get that phone call in which the family drama ensues. 

Post Holiday Hangover

I have a post-Holiday hangover, and I don't even drink!

Is it normal to need a vacation from our holiday vacation?

Made With Love

When AirForceGuy is home, I tend to spoil him.  It's nice to have him around and he's very conscientious about fixing things and taking over parent duties to give me some down time. 

He also appreciates the little things, like the fact that I make his lunch and put little Hershey's Kisses in there for him.  He tells everyone his lunch is made "with love".

But now he has a new idea - that in addition to lunches "made with love" he must now have socks "made with love," too.  Yes, that is right.  My husband wants me to learn to knit so I can make him socks.  At least he's sweet about it.  He says, "I have to go to ugly places.  When I'm in ugly places, it would be wonderful if I had socks made with LOVE on my feet."

You Are My Family

First of all, I want to thank everyone who sent us condolences and wished us well upon hearing about my miscarriage.  Your comments helped me realize I'm definitely not alone -- not alone, in that many of you have also dealt with the loss of a pregnancy, and not alone, in that you are all here to help me through my range of emotions.  My SpouseBUZZ family has been such a comfort in these past two weeks; I have gotten numerous cards, emails, and packages in the mail from many of you.  I can't even tell you what it means that people who only know me from the internet have sent blankets, baked goodies, gift baskets, and boxes full of candy.  My husband said that he feels like George Bailey at the end of It's a Wonderful Life: we have discovered just how many people out there care for us.  You are my family, and I can't thank you enough.

But there's someone else I'd also like to thank...

An airforcewife Confession

As of January 8, Air Force Family will be Air Force Reserves Family.

Perhaps you're wondering why a family so gung-ho in their military-ness would consider leaving full time active duty...  There is a reason, and it has nothing to do with money or the pace of deployments.

It has to do with...

Kitty Litter Rum Balls

Since we moved, I've already hosted one holiday party at our new home with hubby's new associates.  It went off really well.  People were really getting into the holiday games and giggling madly about the prizes.

We have yet another party this Saturday - and it's a potluck.  I'm bringing Kitty Litter Rum Balls.

Holiday expectations

Toad has a good post about expectations this holiday season down below. And he's right. People's expectations are so high. And we buy into it.

At Princess Trouble's school, the expectation exists that goody bags will be provided for every holiday. And I'm not just talking about the biggies - Christmas and Halloween. We're talking Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, and Columbus Day. Oh, yeah, and your kid's birthday.

Yes, you are expected to provide gifts for your child's classmates on your child's birthday. I do not understand that concept. Nor do I abide by it. My children are demanding enough - a trait we are working diligently to eliminate - and do not need to be encouraged to want more. As parents, we do our best to encourage a desire to give as opposed to receive.

My Husband, AirForceGuy

Yes, yes, I know it's become rather obvious that despite some differences in the ability to tolerate filth and a definite tendency towards procrastination (not mine) that causes some rough moments, I pretty much think the sun rises and sets... well, you know.  In a part of my husband's anatomy.

I've got to admit that when I start feeling irritable towards AirForceGuy for one reason or another it takes just a small glimpse of what other people see when he's with them for me to want to throw my arms around the guy and passionately pin him down somewhere.  Especially if he's been telling one of his stories - like the one in which Tariq Azziz plays a walk on role.  Or maybe the one about eating on the economy in Afghanistan and pretending you didn't see that mouse hiding under the platter.  And those are just the funny stories.  There are harsh ones, too, and ones that make me want to cry.

He's very special, that's for sure.  And at no time do I see that more than when I have a chance to see my husband through the eyes of my children.

Deep breaths. Deeeeeep breaths.....

This was my internal mantra while on the 2nd panel at SBL3 in Fayetteville.  After about 2 sentences, I started crying and surprised the heck out of myself.  I mean, DH was wounded 2 1/2 YEARS ago and I still manage to get emotional (at the most unexpected moments).

Fortunately, I had my SB family (and my awesome mother-in-law) there with me and I was able to gather myself together. 

SpouseBuzz Live 3...Remains of the Day

I can't believe almost a week has passed since SpouseBuzz LIVE took place in Fayetteville.  It's also hard to believe how many times a man can say, "Let's just do it and then we can talk" in one week's time.

If you don't know what that's in reference to, you either weren't paying attention in Fayetteville or you haven't watched the archived event at SyncLive.

Even with final exams looming, my brain has processed SBL3 and plenty of good things happened.

All the Preparation in the World

We've talked on this blog before about anticipatory grief, and our second panel at SpouseBUZZ Live hit on it over the weekend as well.

But as much as you plan for the tragic events in your life, as much as you steel yourself against them and go through them in your head so you will be mentally and emotionally ready for them, I don't think you can accurately judge how it's going to feel until you live it.

I have gotten some insight into this today.
My husband and I lost our baby.

Thanksgiving Memorial

Last week, I wrote a post on being Thanksgiving to others.  I didn't realize, until the next day, how poignant the post was.  Monday morning, I received an email from Sew Much Comfort's Ambassador at Landstuhl that the soldier mentioned in my post died from his injuries in Germany on Thanksgiving day.  It has taken me almost a week to be able to sit down and write this follow-up post.  I don't know how to properly give him the honor and thanks that is his due.  Nor do I have the words to express all that I want to his family and his brothers in the Army.

Murphy Was a Military Spouse

Guess who will be in Fayetteville at SpouseBUZZ Live 3 with  a personal entourage in tow?

Yes, me.  I mean, if children count as an entourage, that is.  And I think they should.  They follow me around in a roiling pack, create havoc, get into trouble, and smell kind of funny.  In short, anything Britney's crew can do, mine can do better.

Except I do make it a point for them to wear underwear. 

Airport Observations

I recently returned from a week's vacation with my husband and 2 kids (and I am exhausted!).  When we reached our destination I was doing my typical "look around the unfamiliar airport for baggage claim signs" and I saw a number of military families - one saying goodbye and two saying Welcome Home!  And my emotional roller-coaster started full speed ahead!

airforcewife's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

I woke up on Saturday and my computer jack