Holiday Gifts for Troops

Wondering how to support our troops over the holiday season?

Sending holiday gifts

'Hooah Mail'

What could be faster than sending letters via snail mail?  It's coming on 1 December!

Hooah! Postal service to speed up for Soldiers

When I Want It To Be His Fault

It had been two weeks since the last telephone call with my husband, and I was starting to get antsy.  Even though I knew he was fine -- he finally emailed and explained that the phones had been on the fritz -- I just desperately wanted to hear his voice.  I traveled to visit his parents for the week, and we were certain he'd call sometime while I was visiting so he could talk to everyone.  But no call came.

As I was waiting for my plane, I held my phone in my hand.  I just wanted it to ring so badly.  I boarded the 9:30 flight and finally shut off the phone.

When I landed, there was a voicemail from my husband.  Left at 9:28.

And the stupid thing was that I got mad at him over it.

I Don't Want to Be That Person

I've had a bit of a conundrum this deployment that has me seriously sensitive to my own behavior. 

What it boils down to is this, "To Tell or Not to Tell?" 

The Angry Stage of Deployment

I was chatting with a group of women yesterday, and the only other military spouse asked how R&R went.  I replied that I was glad that I had gotten over the angry stage of deployment before my husband came home - that would have been terrible timing.  The civilian women looked confused, and I guess that it might be confusing to them.  To be honest, I hadn't recognized it as a stage until this time.  And maybe I'm the only person who has them (but I'm guessing not.)  The other military spouse knew exactly what I was talking about.

You know the time:  probably at least a few months in, more likely somewhere past the half-way point, where your previously optimistic attitude deserts you and you are just mad.  Mad that military, mad at your spouse, mad at the whole situation.  I think it is normal to have this as a stage.  I don't personally think it is normal to feel this way the whole time, and I'd be seriously looking for some counseling if I felt that way all the time.  (That just can't be healthy.)  Heck, I have been going to counseling since before mt husband left, as preventative medicine, and it seems to be working so far.

I'm not saying that you have to have an angry stage, and I've been curiously considering the other possible stages.  I bet between the SB readers we could teach a whole class on the stages of deployment.

So, what do you think?

Wondering

Stella wrote a paragraph on her Fifteen Months... blog that needs to be shared with every milspouse.  I know we have all sat and wondered these things, and that many of our questions go unanswered.  I often feel like my husband's deployments contribute immensely to who he is as a person, and yet I know nothing about them.  His day-to-day life is a mystery to me.  I wish I knew the little things: what he eats, how he sleeps, what movie he might've watched.  And yet I know very little about a combined 29 months of his life...

Stella writes:

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what's happening in that other parallel universe when he's living. Now that I'm wondering this from Germany instead of California like I was last time doesn't seem to make me feel any closer to his world. It's 2:42 am right now, so he must be sleeping but I'm still curious about the smell and temperature of the air he's breathing in. I wonder what might have happened today or what conversations he had that made a part of him grow or change perspectives. There are so many things that I will never know about, so many conversations about the small details of our parallel lives I know will never be recounted. The collective weight of the significance of these many seperately experienced moments wakes me up in the middle of the night.

(Thanks to Post Tenebras Lux for the link.)

Confessions of a Milspouse, #745

I am notoriously stingy.  I'm the lady who's been known to use a 50% off coupon on a $1.99 item...or drive home without the $1.99 item if I've forgotten the coupon at home.  My husband is stingy too, so we make a good couple.  But there's one thing that I hate spending money on that almost makes me feel like a bad wife at times.

I don't mail my husband care packages while he's deployed.  I don't think postage is a good use of our family's money.

My husband has never complained and always says that he can get anything he needs downrange, and if he can't get it there, he doesn't need it.  But still, when I hear other military spouses talking about sending care packages, I do sometimes feel guilty.

Still, not guilty enough to spend money to mail him snacks and movies.  He gets plenty of both.

I send letters.  Postage for one package is the cost of sending him at least 20 letters.  I'd rather invest in loving words...

Am I the only one who doesn't send care packages?  (Probably.)

A Tale of Two Civilians

Actually, it is really a tale of three civilians, but two of them work together.

Welcome Back, Murphy

What a sad little TV show that would be!  Welcome Back, Kotter was great.  Welcome Back, Murphy?  Not so much.

With everything that's been going on lately, I had not even uttered Murphy's name lately.  When I do, it is in the vein of Seinfeld's uttering Newman's name.

One generation to another

While I was visiting my mom over the summer I had a conversation with a retired Army spouse that has stayed with me.  I've wanted to write about it for months but wasn't sure if I could find the right words.  I probably won't but here it is anyway!

Mrs. C is a petite elegant woman with a wicked twinkle in her eye.  Mrs. C's husband was a career soldier who served in both Korea and Vietnam.  And yet, when she saw Stretch and I come into the church that Sunday morning, she came up to us and thanked us for our service.  Then she looked at me and told me how proud and in awe she was of us, today's military wives. 

Time Flies...

Looking back, it seems I haven't been posting much lately.  In my head, I'm posting all the time...driving down the road, falling asleep, out running walking.  That is one thing about my personality that works well with this whole military lifestyle - I like to keep busy.  And when I'm busy, I don't have time to think about much else except how to accomplish the next few hours and then when I'll get to sleep.

My husband's first deployment, quite a few years ago, we didn't have any children and so I worked.  A lot.  I had a full time job in the evenings and then I substituted nearly every single day.  And it was successful - there were some long days in there, but the 6 months went by FAST.  (Yeah, we're Navy, we consider 6 months a deployment.)

Last time he deployed, a few years ago, we had four little kids.  Enough said.

This time, everyone is in school, so I've really had to get creative to fill the time.  I'm trying to run, and generally exercise more, I'm taking a couple of classes at the community college.  I'm volunteering with the PTO, and (not) writing here, and writing The Paycheck Chronicles.  I'm pretty effectively filling every spare minute of my day.  And if I weren't, there's always Facebook.

I explain my life as one of these Fifteen Puzzles that you may have played when you were a kid - I'm forever trying to move all the little blocks around to get everything in order.  I was explaining that to my favorite mental health professional recently, and she said something that has really stuck with me.  She suggested that I needed to make sure that I kept a block open for my husband.  And that it probably wasn't going to be very helpful if he came home and all the blocks were taken.

Hmmmm.  That's an interesting concept.  But how will I get through it with empty blocks?  This is a dilemma for me.  So I'm curious - how do you keep yourself busy while your spouse is gone, without filling your schedule so much that there isn't room for your spouse when they return?

Trading Deployments Makes Them Go Faster

Air Force wife Darla made me laugh today with this paragraph:

A wise woman once told me that those that haven't experienced deployment or long periods of separated time from spouse/partners can't possibly understand how we feel when someone says something like 'oh he'll be home soon' or 'over half way there!' or 'three months will fly by!' She explained it along the lines of 'why don't you try sticking your head in a doorway and slamming it repeatedly with the door for the next three months or 30 days and see how quickly time flies by.'

It's funny how grating it can be when people tell you how quickly they think your deployment has gone.  I always feel like saying, "Gee, I sure am glad it's flown by so fast for you!"

And I try very hard never to tell other military spouses that they're "almost there!" or how quickly time will fly.  I know how much it stinks to say that out loud, even though, truthfully, everyone else's deployment goes so much faster than my own.

Maybe Darla and I could trade deployments?  Hers seems to have gone fast for me, and I'm sure mine is going fast by her standards too.  If we could only figure out how to trade...

"Worlds Apart"

When service members come home from combat sometimes they feel "Worlds Apart."

No matter your service affiliation or duty status, the below will hit home (and hopefully be of help) for many.

Living Our Lives

Last week I went to visit my grandparents.  They have dial-up.
Last year this would have stressed me out immensely but this year it doesn't, because deployments are like snowflakes.

And this snowflake is liberating.

2009 Military Holiday Mailing Deadlines

Dates and information available after the jump.

"If..."

Out of the blue, DH asked me the other night, "If I died, would you get remarried?"

I sat thoughtfully for a moment, wondering why he was asking me this.

Me:  "I don't know.  It would be the last thing on my mind for a long time."

DH:  "Well, could you picture yourself getting married again?  If I died?"

Again, I thought about this (not something I often sit around considering).

Me:  "I really don't know.  What brought this to your mind?"

My Children Have Lost Their Minds

We are remarkably close to my husband's return home for R&R, or mid-tour leave, or whatever it is called nowadays.  We're all obviously a little excited, but I am overwhelmed by the level of wackiness coming out of my children.  Really, I don't know how we'll get through two weeks of Dad without some sort of colossal collision of kid craziness X4 and one Dad who hasn't been around kids in a long time.  Of course, it is possible that the conflict will actually be between the kids and me, since I have visions of a pleasant two week visit that is free of any friction and foolishness.

One part of me wants to believe that this is normal and expected, and the other part of me thinks that they should STOP RIGHT THIS MINUTE.  Even though we're all different, and I can see that my kids are each responding in their own ways, I'd still love to hear your experiences, thoughts and tips.  Anything to help me remember that it's all going to turn out OK - please share!

A gift from the past

Recently I received a large envelope in the mail from my aunt.  Curiosity filled my eager mind so I tore it open to find a wonderful treasure.

Doing This Apart

Because it has taken many years to get to this point, my husband and I already had first names picked out for our baby.  But we had never settled on a middle name.  Since my husband will be deployed for the entire pregnancy, we find ourselves trying to decide this by email.  It's not an easy task.

If you're in the same room, you can judge your spouse's reaction to hearing a name.  "Let's make her middle name Ethel" may elicit an obvious groan or just a polite shaking of the head.  You can better judge whether your spouse hates your idea or just doesn't seem to be fully convinced by it and needs more prodding.

You can't glean this via email.

Falling In Love All Over Again

My husband has been deployed for two months now.  He has no access to webcams, so the other day when he sent me a photo of himself on a mission, my first look at him in two months, it took my breath away.  Has he always been this handsome?

I reciprocated with a belly shot, for I am starting to look pregnant and round.  He replied via email with, "You look cute. Were you that pretty when I left?"

I think that's one of the best parts of deployment: falling in love with your spouse's looks all over again.

During my husband's first deployment in 2004, he had been gone for four months before we were able to find a webcam and see each other.  I still remember bursting into tears when I finally saw his face again.  Last year he got to webcam frequently, but even mundane things seemed cuter when he was far away.  I don't look twice when he smokes a cigar at home, but when he popped up on that webcam with a cigar in his mouth, I remember thinking it was the cutest thing ever.

It is a nice perk of deployment: we never get bored of seeing their faces.

Staying connected

We've discussed this before, but I saw this article and thought it was worth discussing again.   During our last deployment, I got our girls Daddy Dolls.  In the past, I've put pictures of my husband on the wall next to the kids' beds, cribs, and in their playroom at their eye level using clear contac paper, so they could touch him, kiss him, etc. while he was away.  

During our first deployment of the Long War, we sent cassette tapes back and forth.  He could hear random things our then 2 year old was doing and saying.  We got hear his voice either just talking or reading a story.  We had to do it old school then because we only had snail mail for communication.

I know there are a lot of creative folks out there.  So let's hear it.  How do you stay connected to your spouse while they are gone?  And how do you keep them connected with the kids?

That Dry Spell

So, here I am trudging along through a deployment.  I have a busy schedule, I'm battling insomnia (as usual) so I'm tired most of the time, and I've had a lot of things on my mind.

Then I turn on the TV to watch a movie and I see... it.  Yes, it.  That thing that wreaks complete havoc on my carefully orchestrated overwhelmed life.  That thing that throws me into a complete tailspin of frustration and irritation.  That thing that seemingly contrives against me to make the deployment trudge completely unbearable.

A romantic movie scene. 

Whoops

Something that was not on my deployment checklist, but should have been...

Put the EZ Pass on hold - that commute won't be happening for a while.

On the bright side, Air Force Guy shouldn't ever have a problem with low funds again.

Show and Tell: In Their Own Words

I found an interesting round of Soldier show-and-tell via MaryAnn. Watching the video made my eyes well with tears. It was touching to watch the soldiers explain the little mementos they carry with them while deployed. 

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I had cropped photos of our family laminated and sent to my husband when he deployed. The photos were small enough to keep on him.  Photos mean so much when you're separated and given the gritty, dusty climate, the laminate protected the photos. What does your spouse carry with him or her, and why?

How about you? Do you have items you carry with you while your spouse is gone?

Update: Click here for a different kind of Soldier Show and Tell, and click here for a milspouse version of Show and Tell.

Why Does It Feel So Different?

My girls started school yesterday.  Not just a new school year, but they began their school year at an entirely new school.  The first grader showed only a moment's hesitation with the entire process.  The fifth grader, however, had more speed bumps.

I kept thinking, "This is so much harder with my husband deployed!  If only he were here, this would be so different!"

I realized as I walked from the school building after delivering each child safely to her respective classroom, that I have taken that walk alone, every year whether my husband were deployed or not.

Symbolism

Earlier this week, I found a soldier's blog post courtesy of Mrs. G, which I found interesting. SGT Danger posted photos of soldier tattoos and asked them what their tattoos represented. The post reminded me of a conversation I had with a good friend a couple of years ago. My friend got a tattoo when her husband was deployed and we were talking about radical changes that we sometimes make during a deployment or long separation (going from brunette to blonde, cutting our hair off, getting a tattoo, etc.). Not that tattoos are radical, mind you, but it's an interesting topic.

Here's what tattoos symbolize to the these soldiers (complete with great photos). Have you done anything that you wouldn't ordinarily do, radical or not, during a separation? If so, what did it symbolize?

The First Time

I was talking to a girlfriend of mine recently and she mentioned that she found out her husband would be deploying on his first combat tour (in 2004) through the grapevine. Apparently, her husband was TDY when the rotation schedule was announced. He was not happy that she heard about it from someone other than him. The conversation made me laugh in that slightly twisted way that military spouses sometimes do. The way that says, "Yep, I hear ya sista."

Every family is different and each service member has their preference for how they wish to deliver the news. My husband's hand was forced.

The Wheels on My Bus

School is starting again.  That means activities are starting again.  Which means I'm going to be a glorified chauffer again; particularly since Air Force Guy is deployed and I don't have emergency back up.  I am really not looking forward to this.

I cut my children's activities down to one sport and one activity each.  But there are three of them still at home, one of me, and oh-by-the-way don't forget CCD and the extras (like cookie booths and camping trips, swim and gymnastics meets) that go along with their activities.  So this year we have one in swim team (practice 4x a week), one in gymnastics (2x a week), one Junior Girl Scout, one Cadette Girl Scout, one Tiger Scout, and one mixed sport class (thankfully only once a week).  I couldn't get all the kids in CCD the same day of the week (because there was a time problem with Girl Scouts), and you can be guaranteed that there will be at least one trip to the hospital for a cracked head (a yearly event with one particularly active child of mine), some ear infections, and one of the dogs will find my secret chocolate stash and need an emergency trip to the vet after befouling my house. 

All of this leads me to the only conclusion possible in such an instance.  I need a wife of my own.  That way maybe we can also fit dinner, laundry, and house cleaning in there.

Deployment Humor, or Not.....

I was talking with a girlfriend and fellow Army Wife last week. We were stationed together two years ago and were just catching up on each other's lives. Her husband is currently deployed and she was filling me in on life at home without him, when R&R was coming, etc. 

My girlfriend began telling me about something funny that happened while the family was Skyping with Dad recently. After I got off the phone, I realized that what was funny to us as Army Wives wasn't what would have been funny to most any outsider who had heard the entire conversation.

During the build up to the "funny," my friend mentioned that her son had introduced his girlfriend to his dad via Skype, and I didn't think twice about it. That seemed perfectly normal and not at all funny or unusual. However, I'm willing to bet a civilian would have thought that was the funny and most interesting part of the story. But it wasn't.

Interesting lives we lead......

It's Never a Good Time, But do it Anyway

Today I read a story on the main page of military.com that made my heart clench and my stomach hurt - it was all about what happens when a service-member doesn't make their wishes, should the worst happen, perfectly clear.

His Baby Is Just Like Him

I have discovered I have a unique way of staying connected to my husband while he's deployed: his baby is just like him.

I've had food aversion pretty bad with the beginning of this pregnancy, and this baby reminds me of my husband.  I am not normally a cranberry juice drinker, but that's all this baby craves.  And just like my husband, the baby is vehemently against tomatoes.

It's a very strange but cute way of getting little reminders of my husband while he's gone...

The Ugly Truth

This post has been riding with me for awhile.  I've rolled this around, considered not posting it, considered curbing some of the truths, and then became comfortable enough with the truth that I determined I could handle whatever comments people may want to lob my way. 

Lean On Me

I have to admit it, I ultra-personalize my phone.  With all the moving and what-not, sometimes my phone is the only thing I get to truly reflect me on a semi-permanent basis.  I have ring tones, answer tones, phone bling...  During Air Force Guy's last deployment I used Bill Wither's "Ain't No Sunshine" as my answer tone, but figured that I should change that out when armywifetoddlermom told me for the fourth time that calling me was "very depressing" because she had to listen to that song while waiting for me to answer.

Point well taken.  Although I still love the song, I changed it.

A Year Is A Long Time

Well, my husband is nearly half-way through his first year long deployment.  Being Navy, deployments are usually 6 or 7 months.  And it seems I like that, 'cuz all of the sudden this thing has gotten long.  Rreeaallyy long.  My heartiest amazement to those of you who have done this more than once.  I know that I'll make it through (I don't really have a choice, do I?) but golly, this looks a lot more than twice a "regular" deployment to me.  It's more like squared longer.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post is:  am I complaining?  am I helping other people to know that is is OK to be sick of a deployment?  am I applauding all of you who have done this over and over again?  I guess it is probably a combination of all three.  So, "Whaa!  It's OK!  You're Amazing!"

Marvin K. Mooney, Will You Please Go Now!

Having already established that my life is like "If You Give a Moose a Muffin," a new book has been added into the mix at our house.

Marvin K. Mooney, Will You Please Go Now!

Trust me, I'm not trying to get rid of my husband and I really would like to keep him home with us for a bit.  But if the last two deployments he went on busted the schedule by having him leave earlier than anticipated (and quite suddenly in the case of the first deployment), this one has tried to make up for that by continually setting his date to leave back.  This means several things...

Mail Takes Too Long

I'm having mail anxiety.  It just takes too darn long for the mail to travel overseas.  And I'm nervous about jinxing myself.

It's happened before...

Stop! You Can't Do That!

We're down to the wire now, and the last few things I've neglected getting ready for deployment need to be done NOW or they will not get done at all. 

Among these is something that is not technically necessary, but gives me great peace of mind -

Crushed

I'm not a big fan of coats, even when they're necessary and when we're living in cool climates which require them. For some reason, I've just never been able to find a coat I've totally loved. That's why I've opted to use cozy wraps. I have thick wool ones to shield me from the extreme cold, and wraps that are lightweight for less-extreme temps. 

When my husband was in Afghanistan, he sent several beautiful and colorful pashminas to me. I love them all, but I became attached to one in particular. My favorite pashmina was brown with punches of color here and there, but they were subtle so the wrap went with just about anything I chose to wear. 

I take that pashmina with me everywhere. It's really great to have when traveling or dining out because airplanes and restaurants tend to be cold. I was out of town this weekend and, as usual, had my favorite wrap with me. On the last leg of my connecting flight, I began to get cold so I got my bag out of the overhead bin to get my pashmina out. Only it wasn't there. I frantically began searching through the bag two more times, then around my seat and even in my purse. It was gone. It is gone. Somewhere, in one of the three airports I visited this weekend, I lost my favorite pashmina. I am crushed.

It's not just any old pashmina, it's the pashmina that my husband picked out for me when he was deployed, so it's more than just something to keep me warm. It's special. Whoever found it couldn't possibly know the what it means to me. I just hope they turn it in because for the last two years, when I've worn my pashmina, I've also worn memories that are important to me.

Ugh!!!!!!!!!  

Military Girls Conference Set

National Guard Daughters Plan 'Sisterhood' Conference

More on marking time

When faced with deployments, many times we find ourselves marking time in different ways.

I never really liked the idea of counting down.  Which was convenient for us as Seadaddy is on his second deployment and we have yet to have a redeployment date before he left.  I am not sure how it works normally, but there was *no* ballpark/range for the first one and this one was given as 'mid to late August'.  And we have discussed recently how mid is not always mid.

All to say, while it might have been born out of necessity, I liked counting up.  For the first deployment it was putting up a picture a day for Seadaddy.  Whether or not he could check it once a day or once every three weeks or even though all too often the connection was so bad the pictures wouldn't load, I would put up a picture a day.  Some old favorites of ours that made the cut and were hanging around the house, some old ones that were forgotten in the archives of our external hard drive and also some new ones to show him what we had been doing.  What number the picture(day) was faded to the background as time went by and it became more about bringing a smile to Seadaddy's day.

Which may be why I like the idea Andrea has over at Sgt & Mrs Hubs.  Since her husband's deployment is going to be around 26 weeks long, she is devoting each week to celebrating and exploring a letter of the alphabet.  This seems like such a great idea for those with younger kids. And her eye when it comes to taking pictures is seriously awesome.

There is no right or wrong way to get yourself and your family through a deployment. But I love reading about what works for people to make the most of their snowflake.  So, whether it is just you, you and the dog(s) or you and a kid or four, how about some ideas on what worked for you?  Most of us can 'rest assured' another deployment in around the corner somewhere in the future and filing away an idea to help make the time go by with smiles along the way is always a good idea.

And really, it doesn't just have to be what worked for you. What doesn't work for you and you vow never to do again might prove helpful. 

And the Geardo Saga Continues

Air Force Guy missed 5.11 Day.  It was a big blow, but luckily the guy at the store selling 5.11 gear put everything he needed (ahem, it should be "needed", if you know what I mean) on back-order. 

This, of course, meant that we spent the last four days going into the 5.11 store every day for AFG to run in excitedly and ask, "Is it here yet?  Is it here yet?"  Today his things finally came in.  And we're at the point where the amount of gear in this house has surpassed critical mass. 

Feeling Bad Instead of Sad

Last night my husband deployed.  This morning I had an ultrasound to see if our baby was alive.

I found out I was pregnant three weeks before my husband deployed.  It is a welcomed turn of events for us, and we are hopeful that after so much sadness and dismay, we have another chance at creating a family (one that doesn't yet require spending thousands of dollars).  So with shifting deployment days and our bad track record at gestation, I didn't complain when they gave me an appointment after he was supposed to have left.  I have no energy left to worry about such trivialities.  The baby would either be alive or dead, and his presence would do nothing to change that.  Unfortunately, that's my normal. 

Nearly four years ago, Deltasierra commented about the miscarriage she had while her husband was gone.  I replied:

DS, I am so sorry about your miscarriage. That's not something I've ever even thought of having to deal with alone...and I'm so sad that you had to.

Never did I think I would go through that too.  Plus twice more while my husband was at home.  It is so my normal now that it's just another doctor's visit.  Only with more jitters.

Thankfully, as of this morning, the baby looks OK.  It will be a while before we can be certain, but it's a good start.

But what I really wanted to write about was how morning sickness can even further complicate pre-deployment emotions.

Not Enough Minutes To Go

This is what deployment day feels like. (Well, except for the dying in the end, heh.)
But you keep checking your watch, noting aloud how much time you have left.
My husband kept changing the words to this song all day and making me laugh.

"Well, we're cursing at Quiznos and I'm mowing the yard, with three more hours to go..."

It's hard to really enjoy yourself on that last day, because all you can do is look at the clock and count those minutes.

Lost In Translation

If you are a regular reader of SpouseBuzz you may or may not know a few things about me.  Lest I lose YOU in translation too, let me tell you two things.  First, my husband is deployed.  Second, we are in the middle of an international adoption.

That, apparently, is a combination ripe with frustrating possibilities.

Please Define "Mid-"

Last year when my husband deployed, he was supposed to leave in mid-May.  He left May 6th.  That's not "mid" in my book.  This year he's supposed to leave mid-July.  I said I'd believe it when I see it...

The Beginning of Not The Same

I realized as I was sitting in a completely empty house on July 4th with no working knowledge of our gas grill that, perhaps, I should just admit to myself that this is our first of "just not the same" days that we will meet head on this year.

My next thought?  I knew a place I could go where I would not be the only one doing this today.

Pre-Deployment and the State of my Rear End

A few weeks ago Butterfly Wife posted on her blog a question - should she change her blog name to Does This Army Make My Butt Look Big?

What a timely question (and I nearly died laughing reading the newly proposed title!).  Just the last few weeks I've been wondering something close to that myself - Does this pre-deployment make my butt look big?  I'm pretty sure the answer is yes.

For the record, I'm not blaming anyone, any entity, or anything outside of my own self for the state of my rear (and arms, and legs, etc ad infinitum).  I know darn well that I made the choice to eat that, not do that exercise, and so on.  However, I also figured out last go-round that pre-deployment certainly makes it a lot easier to throw caution to the winds!

In a nutshell, knowing that the love of your life is going to be gone for a year (or more) and with the beginnings of anticipatory grief making themselves heard, who can say no to just one more trip to Baskin Robbins when the husband says he'd like to go just one more time?  Of course, it won't be the last time, but I pretend not to realize that...

Fleece? This Is New...

My husband's been to Iraq twice, so this will be his first trip to Afghanistan.  I realized something when he was packing over the weekend, something that hadn't yet crossed my mind: Afghanistan has seasons.

It was strange to see my husband packing a duffel of cold-weather gear to be shipped ahead of time.  Cold-weather gear for deployment?  This is new!  But this is a place where, apparently, summer temperatures can reach 115°, while winter temperatures in high altitudes can fall to -15°.  And we still don't know exactly where he's going, so he better be prepared for anything.

Sadly, packing cold-weather gear essentially more than doubles the amount of stuff you have to hump...

Time Keeps On Slipping...

My husband and I went on our much-anticipated vacation to "somewhere other than our parents' houses."  We took two whole suitcases and had the time of our life.  My husband did a much better job of relaxing than he did back in January.  The vacation was perfect.

Until the last day.

And all of a sudden, I realized we were on Block Leave.  I realized that the end of this trip signaled the end of block leave, which means July was coming soon, which means my husband is deploying.

My husband is deploying in like two weeks or so.

And I wanted the last day to slow down, to last forever, to never end.

But it did.

Tiny Feelings of Resentment

Sis B's husband is home, and she's still liveblogging reintegration.  One paragraph of her recent post jumped out at me. 

Speaking of resentment... I'm harboring a little more of that in the department of feeling underappreciated. Most of my readers know the challenges I have faced during this deployment. (If you don't, go back in my archives a year and read forward from there). What with 2 hospitalizations, a premature baby, a numerous amount of casualties within the unit, an unexplained mystery illness which is still symptomatic, the false casualty notification, the loss of a good friend in Iraq... um... I've been a little busy. I've had my fair share of trauma and near-death experiences. I also turned thirty, which is a harrowing event in and of itself (ha!). I do not, in any way, feel like I have had it harder than my husband. I do, however, feel that I have endured enough to have a little respect and appreciation from him. He gets to be called a hero, have ceremonies, parades, and a lifetime of respect. I am a housewife. It doesn't really have the same ring, does it?

I think we all have felt this way for one moment or another.  Sometimes we like to be thanked too.

And sometimes we go through things during deployment, enormous things, life-altering things.  And while I don't need a tickertape parade or a medal ceremony, it is nice to have someone, especially your spouse, acknowledge that you had it rough.  That you don't have to be in combat to be scared.

Well said, Sis B.