Building Bridges

We, have posted a lot here at SpouseBuzz about our military community, and the frustration we feel when it seems as though the bridge to the civilian community is out.  We have also talked about how tremendous community support is, and how to encourage it.   Bridge building can be satisfying. 

There is nothing better for the military community, than feeling support from the outside.  It makes our jobs, and our life more meaningful. 

Many of you in the National Guard, and Reserve community, have a great opportunity over the next few weeks, this is a great opportunity for us to say THANK YOU! 

Oh, Well...Not so Bad, Then?

I have an update to my old Those Wacky Civilians post.

I ordered pizza recently. The bubbly, bouncy, beautiful girl (BBB) who delivered my pizza needed my driver's license number.

Ours

I've had this conversation often enough that my head no longer spins around like I'm demon possessed.  I've also have many reactions to it, ranging from sudden understanding to complete and angry denials and a decision that I need to be "schooled" on the matter.

And it all starts when people ask what I "do" and I say, "We're Air Force."

Overheard at the Mall

This is something that seriously qualifies for urban legend status and a Snopes entry all its own.  Really.  It really does.

Except that I was there, I really overheard it; and it actually had ME, the one person on Earth who can usually be counted on to run off her big mouth no matter what the situation and whether appropriate or not, to be stunned into utter silence.

Road Trip and "togetherness"

DH and I recently took a road trip of more than 2600 miles - from Seattle, WA to western PA!  He was TDY for the summer and I flew out to WA to meet him so we could drive back together, minus the children!  Something we've never done before.  The kiddos went to Grandma's and DH and I would spend a whole week+ together in the truck... and I was hoping we would survive the trip without one of us hitch-hiking the rest of the way home!

We managed to make it home, both of us together, and we still like each other!  That may sound rather harsh in context, but I am sure other milspouses can identify in some way with the feeling of "too much togetherness."  I'll explain what I mean...

Tune In On This One!

I'm watching one of my Dog the Bounty Hunter marathons today, and just as I was getting ready to get up and clean my house I see the promos for this:

Gene Simmons Loves the Military!

I'm watching the episode right now, and it just feels good.  A&E replays their episodes a few times during the week, and usually offers them On Demand.  Why not watch?  It feels good to have someone walk in our shoes! 

It might be a little late to catch it the first time on the East Coast - but look for it at four on the West Coast!

Re: You Want My Life?

I just received an email from a civilian in response to my post below. I started to simply update the post, but then decided it would be best to devote an entire post to this email. I also thought I would get this post up now in case other civilians are reading, and have the same questions/concerns (sorry to hog the blog today).

Mrs. X had questions, and I assured her you would have answers. With the permission of Mrs. X, I'm publishing her email.

Ben Stein Rules

OK, my turn.  As I was reading RedLegMeg's Letter to a Military Spouse, I was reminded of another uplifting letter that's a couple years old.  This one was written by Ben Stein.  Remember him, the monotone teacher on Ferris Bueller's Day Off?  He's currently one of the most active supporters of military families, and he's not all full of himself like many celebrities are.  He actually emailed me once when I wrote about him on my blog, and I know he's contacted several other spouses in the past too.  He's a heck of a guy.

Here's his letter, called Strength At Home.

P.S.  If you've never read the often-forwarded How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World, you should.  And more Ben Stein articles can be found at his website.

Yeah - They Dug Me

I can't tell you how often I'm inspired to writing from things I read in the comments here at SpouseBuzz.  I think, though, that's rather the point.  It's like a virtual family dinner, in which everyone talks, laughs, interacts, agrees, disagrees, and sometimes gets huffy (that would probably be me); but always comes back for more because, lets face it, we're family and no matter how little or much we like each other, we're there for each other.  Because often we're all we've got.

Heather S. had a great comment here asking what our experiences with military-friendly, and un-friendly, companies were.  Boy do I have some stories on that one!  And boy, am I sure no one's surprised.

Sharing our lives

I want to share my own views regarding Andi's post about civilians wanting to help military families and the many comments that were made on this post.  These are MY views, and I don't expect everyone to like or agree with what I have to say.  I am not out to disrespect anyone's personal views or experiences with the military.  I just feel compelled to share...

A Good Samaritan saves the day!

I intended to post about this, but after reading GBear's post about snow etiquette, I figured now was a good time.

DH and I returned home from Walter Reed (he had surgery on his hand) to 12+ inches of snow in our driveway - and don't forget the layers of ice in between the layers of snow!!!  As mentioned, DH had surgery and his left hand is in a cast.  He was shoveling one-handed while I was doing my best to shovel and break up the ice (I have a bad back, hence my medical discharge from the Army a while back).  We were both tired, cranky, sore, etc. and we started biting each other's heads off.  Then I managed to get the truck stuck in the snow, which really started the "snowball of bickering."  And we still had to go to our friends' house to pick up our kids!

Civilian to Militarese - Chapter Two

Even my 65 year old auntie knows what  a REMF is. 

However, when my fourteen year old recently got in trouble with MySpace and I was discussing the issue with my auntie, she had no idea what I meant when I said, "Hubby and I are planning her 'Come to Jesus' talk tonight."

Apparently, I learned later from other family members, she thought we were going to take her to a revivalist tent meeting.

I Heart Civilians

Some commenters have noted that civilians sometimes get a not entirely deserved bad rap around military families.

True, civilians do not always comprehend the challenges the military family faces, but many times they open their hearts to us with such generosity.

My daughter's baptism was one of those cases.

May I Check the Bilingual Box?

I have become a verber.

Please understand, my grandmother spend 35 years teaching college preparatory English.  She used to grade the letters we sent her and send them back to us with corrections.  To this day, our conversations are peppered with things like, "I am so tired I just want to go lay down."

"Lie down.  You want to lie down.  You LAY the book down, but you lie down."

My "verbing" drives my Grandmother crazy, and it's all the fault of my being a military spouse.

Re: Honorable Civilians

Joan D'Arc's post about Honorable Civilians reminds me of a great story. A week or so before September 11, I ordered my husband a large-screen television for his birthday/early Christmas present. The television was due to arrive several days after 9/11, but it arrived early. I was at home and received a phone call stating that the television had arrived. I mumbled a fib to my husband and left to pick it up.

The television was quite large, and the box was enormous. There was absolutely no way the box was going to fit in my car, and my husband's car was even smaller. I asked the guys who were trying to load it, to take the television out of the box. Still didn't fit. We kept trying to cram it in. The scene was something akin to the scene in Cinderella where the evil step-sisters were trying desperately to fit their clunky feet into Cinderella's glass slipper.

All the while, an older woman was parked in front of me in the loading zone, quietly observing the hoopla. She approached and listened to my conversation with the employees of the store, who told me that I might want to go to Home Depot and rent a truck.

Honorable Civilians

Let me start off by saying that I definitely agree most civilians "just don't get" the military lifestyle.  There have been a number of great posts and comments on the blog about the ignorance of some civilians.  BUT... on the flip side, I must say that I have come across numerous civilians that I consider "honorable."

My husband and I now live in a non-military town.  He is an ROTC instructor at a university that is about 3 hours away from an actual military post.  Needless to say, my husband is one of a few people in this town that is on active duty and wears his uniform to work.  Almost every time I have been out with him in public, SOMEone stops, shakes his hand, and thanks him for his service.  And sometimes they thank me as well.  It always puts a smile on my face and makes me so proud to be married to my husband.  And it also makes me happy to know that although non-military folk do not understand our lifestyle - many of them DO understand the sacrifices (or at least appreciate them).  THOSE civilians are honorable in my book.

Civilian Bloopers - Part II

I have a feeling I'm going to be adding to my original post, Those Wacky Civilians, quite often. Unlike my first post, the civilian featured in this post didn't say anything outrageous. In fact, her comment was understandable, but it's proof that most civilians don't understand the difference between a move and a PCS move.

Last week I was speaking to a non-military friend of mine. She just finished moving into a new house, which was ten miles from her old house.

"You are so lucky that you have the Army to move you."

Yes, I suppose I am, but a PCS move is about much more than packing and loading boxes, it's never a run-of-the-mill move, and I've yet to move to a location "just down the road."

On the Receiving End of Support

My husband and I just returned from three years in Germany.  Overall, our local German community was extremely nice to Americans and very accomodating.  Our on-post community was tight-knit and supportive, especially during deployment time.  I felt lucky that most of my neighbors were going through the same thing I was.  We have absolutely zero complaints about any of our surrounding communities, but one thing I think we missed out on was that great activity known as "support the troops."

Yesterday I took my parents to the South 21 Drive-In.  (I'm a huge fan of Feasting on Asphalt, so I've been trying to retrace Alton Brown's footsteps wherever I can.)  Our carhop was a delightful man who's been working at the drive-in for 40+ years.  And his son is an infantryman stationed in Italy.  We instantly got that military connection, and he began to heap praise on us.  And my husband wasn't even there!  He started bringing us free fries and drinks, and he kept saying that we military folks have to take care of each other.

It was fun to have someone single us out for being in the military.  When my husband came home to Germany for R&R, he didn't get any welcomes at the airport or pats on the back in restaurants, as I've heard many stateside servicemembers get.  Our American neighbors had their own soldiers to lavish with praise, and the Germans couldn't be expected to care one way or the other.  So R&R and his return from Iraq passed with little fanfare.  Obviously he couldn't care less and doesn't want anyone to fawn over him, but I sure get tickled when people do!  I like when they show their pride and thank him for his service.  I like when he gets recognition for the job he does.  There's nothing I like better than to hear someone gush about my husband.

So, especially since he wasn't even with us at the drive-in, I was sure flattered to be treated special for being a military family.  It's fun to see American civilians show their support, and not just when it means free fries!  We love any show of thanks or attaboys you can give our husbands and wives for the job they're doing downrange.

Do you have any good stories about civilians rolling out the red carpet for your military spouses?

Are Milspouses Caged Animals?

Last night, I read a very funny and creative expression of what it's like to be a milspouse from the perspective of one Marine wife. Trust me, you don't want to miss this.... 

Those Wacky Civilians

A civilian recently asked me what percentage of married life had my husband and I spent apart from one another. I've been luckier than most, but anything over 20% garners a gasp. Then a pause. Then a smile. Then, "oh, so that's why you have such a happy marriage."

Yeah, that's it....

In 2000, my husband pulled a year-long unaccompanied tour in the Middle East. When I told my girlfriend, a civilian with no exposure to the military, that my husband would be leaving for a year, she looked at me and said, "What do you mean he's going without you? They can't do that, can they?"

Yes.They.Can.

And the best worst civilians-don't-get-it story came earlier this year when I was trying to close on a real estate transaction while my husband was deployed. I needed a document from him, a document that was very difficult to obtain (more on this later). I tried to explain to the person seeking the document that my husband was located in a "dedicated combat zone", hoping that the explanation might shed some perspective on the situation. It didn't. I was told that my husband could simply drop the document in a FedEx box.

Of course. Why didn't I think of that? I understand the FedEx camel trots by twice a day.   

Civilians are amusing sometimes, are they not?