Quote: Kindred Spirits Are not so Scarce

Hello Friend

Finding a kindred spirit is a little like finding love at first sight. When you meet someone who is the perfect friend for you there is a moment where time hangs suspended and all seems right with the world. And you just know that this person will be your new best friend.

You can tell a kindred spirit from the first moment you meet. Perhaps you and this new girl exchange some witty banter. Perhaps you can tell from the way she interacts with her kids that you are cut from the same cloth.

Military life means we spend a lot of time saying “goodbye” to old friends and trying to find new ones. Friend dating is one of my least favorite activities — ranking right at the bottom of the list with things like church shopping and gynecologist hunting.

Unlike friend-building, however, meeting a kindred spirit is not something that you can plan. Oh, you can spend your time in places with a lot of “scope for the imagination” where kindred spirits might dwell, but you cannot plot a friendship like that. It just happens when you aren’t looking.

The problem with kindred spirits is that they seem so very few and far between.  How long does each of us spend at any given new duty station wondering when, exactly, we will have a new best friend? How many times have we watched movers haul our boxes back into the truck without ever locating that person?

But it’s just at those moments that I remember this quote from one of my favorite novels, “Anne of Green Gables.” Anne was a girl of very large imagination in a world of comparatively small ones. But rather than let it get her down, she let herself find kindred spirits in the most unexpected places.

“Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.” — L.M. Montgomery in “Anne of Green Gables.”

If Anne (fictional though she may be) can find kindred spirits, certainly I should be able to, too. Maybe waiting for the “perfect someone” isn’t the right way to go about friend hunting. Maybe finding a kindred spirit is more about being willing to believe that they are out there where you least expect them.

About the Author

Amy Bushatz
Amy is the editor in chief of Military.com’s spouse and family blog SpouseBuzz.com. A journalist by trade, Amy also covers spouse and family news for Military.com where she is the managing editor of spouse and family content. An Army wife and mother of two, Amy has been featured as a subject matter expert on CNN.com, NPR, Fox News, NBC, CBS, ABC and BBC as well as in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and Washington Post. Follow her on twitter @amybushatz.
  • sabrinacking

    I am very guilty this duty station of what I will not so lovingly refer to as COW’D. Crotchety Old Wife Disease. I just recently passed the one year mark in the frozen tundra of Ft. Drum, and I still find myself having a very difficult time at 40 seeing the point in making new single serving friends…only to move…again. Even in the homesteading club I started, I find myself much more comfortable playing Yenta, introducing people, but am still just too jaded and guarded to want to actually “befriend” anyone. I thought I could get away with this until he retired, but like many the closer twenty gets, the more I hear the words “thirty is a nice number”…..I suppose, I need to unCOW myself or it’ll be a long ten years,

  • Shezimm

    Sabrinaking….I understand completely. 20 comes in a few months but the man sees no reason to even think about it.
    We have just moved, I’m thinking that I just might stay home and knit and putter around in the yard for the next 2 years. I don’t have the energy in me and it’s been a long time since I’ve worried about most of the things that the young wives worry about. I don’t have the latest and greatest advice for teaching kids their letters or how to potty train.
    I did manage to find a kindred spirit at the last duty station…even the hubby’s and kids got along. Maybe lightning will strike twice if I can force myself out to look.