We May Never Have to Move Again?


“There is a good possibility…living here…we may never have to move again. 

Unless we want to, of course.”

Those words, spoken by my husband, would evoke a voluminous “WAHOO!” with full ticker tape parade from most military spouses I know.  So why was my inner voice only quietly and meekly whispering “yay,” while waving a flag with the sound of a single kazoo playing in the background instead?

There is every reason in the world I should be spinning cartwheels, risking life and limb of everyone around me, at the thought of staying put:  we purchased our house, the boys love their schools and sports teams, the culture and endless things to do and see, and we have a great group of friends and neighbors that make life pleasant and fun.

Is it the fast pace of life that makes me less than thrilled to stay here?

How about the pressure that can be imposed on children to keep up with the academic and supremely athletic Joneses in the Northern Virginia area?

Is it that I wish I had known we were setting roots so I could have started my own continuing education sooner?

Is it that I now wish we had bought a house with a better backyard, and countertops that aren’t green, since I might have to look at them for the unforeseeable future?

Is it that I am not ready for the adventure of living in new places to come to a melodramatic end?

I should be happy, soooo … what is preventing me from not reveling in the thought of never having to unpack a house full of boxes ever again? I can now think about the purchase big girl furniture without the fear of it becoming dinged and dented by movers.  Our boys could have the opportunity attend all the same schools, have the same alma mater, and even learn under the same teachers.  I can send out “we are NOT moving” address cards.  I can get a job, keep that job, and build a network.

We can build a life.

Of course, this is all hypothetical.  Maybe that is why I am not running through the flower-filled fields of my mind. It’s knowing that is all a possibility and not concrete.  Why get all excited? I know as soon as I do, we will get notice of a PCS.

Maybe the real reason is that I just don’t want to jinx it.

About the Author

Married to her high school sweetheart/AD Air Force man, Heidi was initially reluctant to life as a dependent, finally drank the Kool-Aid, and has since embraced being an active Air Force spouse. With a background in sports medicine, she has no real reason to write other than she enjoys it and likes to get others thinking. Heidi enjoys at-will employment as a substitute teacher, serving as an Arlington Lady, mothering two boys, rehabbing their short sale home purchase, recovering from a case of volunteeritis, correcting her verb tense, and learning more acronyms.
  • sabrinacking

    I think it’s more likely the “yeah riiiiiiiight” factor. It’s hard to take any promise of stability seriously, and perhaps dangerous financially to do so. I took the “we have stabilization” seriously, made a huge run at a business, only to lose my proverbial arse when the Army changed it’s mind…so there ya go. My new motto is never believe anything the military says about stabilization, until the day after he retires.

  • thebeatniksdaughter

    I think we have continually been surprised by things that were “probably never going to happen” and did anyway…so that in defense, we just stop believing anything we get told as an emotional defense mechanism. It is easier to expect things to be difficult, not the worst really, but just harder than the best cause scenario…that way anything somewhat better than bad, can be thrilling and make us happy. It’s a sort of a sickness!

  • Laura T.

    Even with a looming retirement, moving is always on the horizon. With the economy as it is, having to move to secure a job is always a possibility. We too bought our home, love our neighborhood, and want our daughter to attend middle and high school with the same friends. But I am still hesitant to truly settle in “Just in case” :)

  • Jackie C.
  • spouse2000

    Half whine about too much moving – half whine about not enough moving. How do you win?

  • Heather

    I would be really depressed if we were forced to stay somewhere too long. As a family we enjoy moving around and see our PCS’s as adventures. It’s hard for me to fathom staying put for longer then just a couple of years. Maybe for this reason we don’t really get too close to any one group of friends. Staying put isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I moved a few times growing up, made friends all over and yes, I do have a couple on my facebook, but none that I am close with. As for my husband, he grew up in the same small town with the same friends his whole first 20 years. His parents still live in the same house today (41 years), but he has no contact with any friends from high school or college above facebook. Besides, we have only been to one duty station where I even like the area.

  • liam

    …always remember, the “moving virus” is something to cure, and takes a little time!! My wife & I had dynamically different careers, and actually settling down in a quite little town (where nothing…and I MEAN NOTHING happens!!) is exotic for us. Hope this is you last move!! and you can enjoy the good virus of “settle-itius”!!

    • Heather

      ha! lol That’s the problem for us, we have been stuck, and i mean stuck, in those small towns where nothing happens for 20 years and we are sick of it. We would love to live somewhere there is life. lol I am hoping our final PCS (coming up in the next few weeks) will help cure it, but I am not sure.