What NOT to Wear to a Military Homecoming

Khaki Private Party

We’ve all seen it.  The scantily-clad, short-skirt, high-heeled romantic waiting to throw her arms around her returning serviceman.  In fact, usually she’s waiting to throw her arms — and her legs — around her servicemen.  And down rides that tube-top, up rides that skirt, and … Well, for the servicemember, that’s quite the welcome home.  For the rest of us, it’s an opportunity to invest in a blind fold. Which, incidentally, could be number 11 for things you shouldn’t wear to a homecoming.

Want to see the stores where you can (please, for the love all that is good) NOT buy these? Click on the photo.

Here are the top ten things NOT to wear to a military homecoming.

10.  It’s not the time to look like you’re heading out to the club.
I’m not sure about you, but I’m not exactly dying to wrap myself up in skin-tight lycra bandages that reveal my navel and, um, maybe that pint of Ben & Jerry’s I devoured in the months he was gone. But according to the wives I spoke to, club clothes happen way to often and are still a unanimous no. But even if you’ve got the body of a backup dancer in a Nicki Minaj’s music video, this isn’t the time to dress like one.

9. Too high to be comfortable? Don’t wear those heels.
After 11 years in Manhattan, I’m used to seeing girls wear stilettos like sneakers, although I’ll admit that I wear them approximately twice a year.  But nearly every wife said they’ve made this mistake themselves: the heels that started out as comfortable didn’t feel that way by the end of the day.  You don’t want to be so uncomfortable that you’re forced to sit down, take off your shoes, and spend the rest of the homecoming barefoot, so choose shoes that are cute and comfortable.

8. Don’t wear something you can’t chase your kids around, nurse, or spend a few hours waiting around in. 
Hurry up and wait. We all know the routine. And finding something that’s cute and comfortable for that is challenging enough, but if you’ve got little ones in tow, make sure you’re wearing something you can chase them around in. One wife I spoke with said she spent an entire homecoming chasing her two-year-old. Her husband loves to see her in dresses, so she wore his favorite — she just made sure to wear a pair of shorts underneath. Every time she bent down to pick up her baby, everyone got an eyeful of Adidas, not London and France.

7. Don’t wear something he wouldn’t want his commanding officer to see.
It’s important to remember that while you haven’t seen each other in months, he still has to face his boss for months to come. Don’t wear something you wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing in front of his boss, or yours, for that matter.

6. Or the commanding officer’s wife.
Every wife I spoke to whose husband had been career said this again and again: remember you’re not just presenting yourself in front of your spouse’s commanding officer, you’re also there with his wife. We all know that the military really isn’t like the love-fest “Army Wives” presents, so make sure that when she looks at you, she doesn’t get more skin than smile.  You don’t want your husband hearing about what you wore to welcome him home the day he gets back to work.


5. Don’t wear your prom dress.  Really.
I was actually kind of shocked to learn that most of the women I spoke to have seen this. When I got past my sheer admiration that a number of girls still fit in their prom dresses, I had to agree: this kind of homecoming isn’t black-tie.  Leave the dresses for the balls, or get creative and do a fancy dinner at home. Candlesticks, cloth napkins, champagne, the whole nine yards. Homecoming has none of that fun stuff anyway.

4. Don’t wear your wedding gown.
I have to admit, it’d be fun. But unless you have a pretty civil service dress that will let him share in a secret smile, leave the lacy ball gown secured in its box and put on something a little more everyday instead.

3. Lingerie is not real clothing.
I’m all for a little naughty underneath.  He’s been gone a long time; who isn’t? But keep it in check. Just because it has some ties and a zipper doesn’t make it clothing. And remember, thongs are never meant to be seen poking out your pants.

2. Don’t forget to wear your knickers.
One friend told me that after her husband’s first deployment, she welcomed him home with a hug, kiss, and a slip of some panties into his pocket. Her panties. Normally that’s a recipe for a good night, but she wasn’t planning on him picking her up and spinning her around. His whole family was there, too, and everyone, even grandma, got an eyeful. So if you plan to do a panty slip, make sure you keep a pair on.

1. Do not wear the Halloween store’s slutty version of your service member’s uniform.
Now granted, I only heard this happen once, and you have to admit, it’s pretty funny. Minus being the bravest girl in the homecoming field, she was also the most talked about later. So leave the sexy military bustier until later … it’s more fun when it’s taken off, anyway.

About the Author

Raleigh Duttweiler
Raleigh Duttweiler is a writer and social media expert living just outside the gates of MacDill in sunny Saint Petersburg, Florida. A Marine Corps wife, she has navigated the stress of Active Duty moves, trainings, and deployments, and now that her family has transitioned to the Reserves, she's experiencing the "weekend warrior" side of military life. (NB: It's not quite as part-time as advertised.) When not writing about benefits and military families, Raleigh posts here about truly life-altering, important issues like What Not to Wear to a Military Ball (visible thongs), Military Halloween Costumes We Love to Hate (ones that generally resemble both military uniforms AND thongs), and how to pack awesome care packages. She is passionate about spouse employment, higher education, and helping families navigate the often-bumpy transition back into civilian life. Raleigh also manages the SpouseBUZZ and Military.com Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest pages, so be sure to say hi!

68 Comments on "What NOT to Wear to a Military Homecoming"

  1. OH MY I have post this on twitter! This is brilliant! Please, please, please may I share this where ever I go! Your writing is great, I've belly laughed this morning; and learned something!

  2. I think this applies for Family Days as well.

  3. jacey_eckhart | July 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm |

    OH PLEASE don't take away the homecoming face t-shirts. Don't say no to matching family outfits! One thing I love about Homecoming is the all the things people do to express their excitement. People are infinitely cute in all their varieties.

  4. Good lord can we please stop with the antiquated wear this not that posts? I mean really? People wear what they want to wear and why should it bother anyone else? Were not all stepford wives. There shouldnt be a sea of twinsets and sensible heels. I'm not there to appease the officers wife or cater to those wearing sweat pants. I'm there for my soldier and I know how to dress myself as I am not a child.

  5. This is a brilliant post, Raleigh! I hope women — whether married to a serviceman or not — read this post. If you're in love he'll be happy to see you and your face and your smile. Skin should be saved for the bedroom, definitely when no one else is around.

  6. usmc_wife | July 17, 2012 at 1:23 pm |

    Is it bad that I'm actually excited to figure out where we buy those sexy military outfits? Because those are way cuter than the ones at Walmart.

  7. if i still fit into my prom dress i would wear it everywhere. the commissary, work, the exchange… you name it, i'd wear it. amen to the girls who can still fit in theirs (although they probably are what, 18? because at 38 there's no way i could do that. still, if i could…)

  8. So showing up to see my pretty wife in my hard hat, T-shirt and jeans, just slightly sweaty and pumped up from working is a good or bad idea?

  9. As a military wife of 23 years, I thought I'd seen it all. Until a Sgt's wife showed up in the "F*CK me, I'm married" tank top with no bra underneath. So, so wrong — AT ANY TIME!!! And I do believe my CSM husband was even more shocked than I was……

  10. it's about time for a guy to add to this – ya know what- wear it if you want because – if you've got it flaunt it!!!!
    what a bunch of old, proper, keep it under wraps, only in your dreams bunch of bitties!!!!
    but if you don't have it – DON'T FLAUNT IT!!! kids, other wifes, or what, be proud of it and whom your waiting for – trust me – he don't want to see you in grandma jeans or a sweatshirt. but, again, if you ain't got it – keep it covered!!!

  11. Being a guy and my share of homecomings I would suggest on number 8 leave the kids at the sitters. One post I was at had the child care center opened for the home coming. This was a good idea too because due to holdups to this, that or someother thing we got in late, not a time for a jetlagged hubbie or missy to deal with crying worn out kids. Speaking of sitters, if you have a reliable one for all night service, what a great idea to just leave the airport and go to that fancy candle light dinner and on to a hotel. For me? Truth be told, I can not remember what my wife of 35 years wore. I was just glad to see her and to get home and get some sleep. A real romantic ain't I.

  12. lovemychief | July 17, 2012 at 5:35 pm |

    Please remember… kids in strollers are sitting in the prime spot to see your business… there are so many ways to dress sexy and not like a prostitute. Have some respect for others. And if you can just look beyond yourself and think of your spouses career for a moment you would see, that although we hate it, what we do directly affects our spouses. If you are not respectful, the command will see your sailor/soldier as disrespectful. Wrong or right, you have to play the game. So grow up people. Showing cleavage is NOT the same as having all but your nipples showing! And there ARE short skirts that are not coochie showing short.

  13. StarlaRose | July 17, 2012 at 5:40 pm |

    I like my heels, and will still wear them. :P

    I'm all for dressing the way you want to. It sets you apart from other people, shows your character and what have you. However, some situations it is inappropriate to wear that mini skirt, or booty shorts. I can understand looking sexy for your service member, but why not shock and surprise him at home ;)

    As my mama always said, less is more. No, not less clothes is more, less skin is more. You have to have that perfect ratio of covering up and skin to look good. Too much skin is not flattering unless you're at the beach. I'm not suggesting you cover up like you're in a convent, just saying I wouldn't want to see your vajayjay peaking out of your mini skirt, or your nip slipping out of a tiny top!

  14. Wear what you want to wear ladies. We didn't come back to see you in your sweatpants! I really doubt that any men would agree with this at all. We "WANT" to see some skin when we get back., and there is nothing wrong with showing it. Remember,….. this is America… what does that mean? Freedom of self expression? YES!!!! Show some T and A ladies!!!! yours truly…OEF Veteran

  15. Personally, I only care about what my husband thinks, and likes. I might consider someone else's opinion as soon as they start providing me with a stipend for clothing expenses. Otherwise, no one has the legal right to tell anyone what to wear. If military wives worried more about being there for each other, instead of focusing on each other's outfits, then the military would be a lot stronger :) Go ahead and where the 5 inch stilettos if you'd like. I'm not the one who will be wearing them after all ;)

  16. good-advice giver | July 17, 2012 at 6:36 pm |

    Having grown-up in the military (daughter of very top-ranking officer), I think it's great when the spouses or girlfriends of returning servicemen look spectacular at Homecoming. Spectacular; however, has never ever meant skank. Homecoming is not a close-friend's party where all the wives have decided to dress as sexily and scantily as possible. At public events, you represent your country and your service-branch just as much as your husbands do. You do not represent a gentlemen's club. Show respect for our country and our service personnel. And if you don't give a hoot about being respectful to our country or our service personnel, don't debase yourself by being scantily clad. Think of Kate Middleton; use her sense of propriety as your guidepost. If you're a girlfriend, think of how Kate has comported herself and how she has dressed all these years since she and Prince William were at St Andrews. And most of all, don't cause some ole bitty to go on the rampage with her high-ranking husband about how your husband should never be promoted because you obviously don't have the propriety to be the wife of a someone deserving of a promotion (I've overheard those conversations on many occasions). What you are wearing and how you behave CAN and DOES make a difference in your spouse's career regardless of whether anyone will 'fess up about it. I just did; profit from my sharing this important information with your. Don't cause your returning spouse to hear catty or snide remarks about you. Dress or behave like you take his job seriously. It's homecoming not Hooters!

  17. Papa_John | July 17, 2012 at 6:39 pm |

    In my view, wear whatever you want and, more particularly, whatever you think will please your spouse. Your spouse has survived another tour. That is ALL that counts … and the opinions of others on what your wear don't count for the square root of anything. If judging YOUR dress is all they have to do at a homecoming, they are the ones with a problem … not you. Best to you and I'm thankful that your spouse made it home … whatever you are wearing.

  18. In 2004 and when I returned from Iraq I was greeted by my wife wearing an outfit that would make a stripper blush. It was all there for the world to see including my commanding general. My parents were embarassed, I was humiliated. Actually, there was new guy in my unit that thought someone hired a stripper (this is many other incidents lead me to be called into my Commader’s office and told she was banned from coming on base to family events)…I can laugh about it now becuase she is my EX-WIFE…but that is a whole different story

  19. Women need to respect all,no matter if your spouse is coming back from the war, or other. I am a military spouse-active duty 25 yrs. and counting, and have I seen it all. Even going to the ball is out of control. Your spouse will at some point try to hide you, and yes he will suffer the jokes at work. Why put yourself, your spouse and children in this position, really? If you have the nerves to show up looking like the disco queen, then be ready to be laughed at and be the talk of the day. week/ year. Military or not, respect yourself!

  20. All I know is that when I was waiting for my husband to get off the bus I was wound so tight that people could have walked around naked and I wouldn't have noticed. For a welcome home, I dress like I normally do when out in public with my husband. I want to present myself as who he remembers me to be so he knows that I am still the woman he left 7 months prior. I really don't care how other people dress. Sure, it can negatively affect the military spouse, but it's really none of my business how people in a relationship support each other.

  21. Loved all the comments. I have been there and seen it!! There nothing with dressing sexy as long as it is rated “G” for everyone else that is there. Keep it sexy but not offensive. There are PLENTY of other ways go get his (or her) attention.

  22. PinkMillie | July 17, 2012 at 7:35 pm |

    If you're thinking about your soldier, then please do not put him in the unfortunate position of having a sexy visual that he can do NOthing about in that moment~think about how challenging that must be for him!! Trust me, he's gonna be thinking about it~you can show up in a potato sack and he'll be thinking about it. Be classy; it never goes out of style and you'll make him as proud of you as you are of him.

  23. Give me a break people. When I came back from my deployment my wife met me wearing a trench rain coat and nothing on under it. I was the happest man there and couldn't get out of there quick enough. When a service member returns they want to see their love ones, not impress the brass as to how formal the family can be. We have females that also return, so where is there list of what the husbands or boyfriends shouldn't wear. Whoever wrote this needs to wake up. It's not the '40s and '50s.

  24. Wife of military hero | July 17, 2012 at 8:28 pm |

    I would So wear every single thing noted Not to wear!!!! I have the body and an awesome husband, I will wear what makes us both happy and Dam those who hate it : )

  25. Wear what your husband/wife would want you to wear, because that is all that matters on his/her homecoming right?!?

  26. M/sgt W.L. Davies | July 17, 2012 at 10:14 pm |

    I did not have to set the bags down to ring the doorbell

  27. This is a funny post. Who are people to tell a women what to wear and not to wear especially after their husband is returning from risking his life. lmao this is small bananas. Furthermore, the comment about kids seeing the women in strollers is just ridiculous….How in the heck is a toddler/baby going to know what is going on anyways. Lastly, why when your waiting to see your man are you looking at other people and caring about what their wearing.Who are you to judge and don't you supposed to be concentrating on seeing your man. Isn't the excitement supposed to be all that's rolling through your mind? Judge mental people cause all the drama these days. I honestly think its offensive even to GOD when I see women look like a old ladies; Why waste Gods beauty even in those situations. Its an insult not to flaunt it! (I di'dn't put question marks for a reason)

  28. Too bad the author doesn't know how to spellcheck her writing.

  29. Been there | July 17, 2012 at 11:58 pm |

    Ladies, the female body is beautiful. However, when the body parts are hanging out all over, it is not becoming. Style is class and class is what catches the eyes of a male. The curves of femininity need to be accentuated with the right tucks, colors and patterns on fabric. If you are dressing for him to undress you, let his imagination work by what you have on rather than running around half naked to begin with.

  30. I say..wear what you wanna wear ladies, afterall you're wearing it for your husband and not the others. But on the otherhand I myself want to represent my hubby well, so yes I do dress appropriate, but thats me. I dont laugh or judge others with what they wear, get over it people and let them live their moment. Just Sayin :)

  31. I find it funny that you guys are a about who cares what so and so says. I get it is not the 1950s. But military spouses are held to a higher standard. I know what I do and I how I behave reflects on my husband. If you want to dress like a $2 ****** by all means do but not a the commands events. My husband is part of the Submarine Fleet and it is a very small community things you do will come back to haunt you. Everyone getting the panties in a bunch that goes to show how mature you really are. I am my own person and I don’t not need to suck up to anyone. But I would not do anything to jeopardize my husbands career. Grow the **** up! I wish this article had been posted before our homecoming. Since we had a few woman that looked like they should be walking up and down 42nd street. Just saying

  32. Ladies just so you know, I rememeber the many times preparing to come home for a deployment, the last thing I wanted to see was my wife in a uniform type outfit. FYI!!!

  33. I'm wearing nothing how about that? That'll get their panties in a bunch.

  34. Pat Pechon | July 18, 2012 at 11:20 am |

    As the Submarine pulled up to the dock it was met by an Admiral, and a couple of Senators, they even turned out the Navy Band. It was the 2000 FBM Patrol. Then there was the time President Bush showed up on base one day, just out of the blue.
    The point being you never know who's gonna be at a Homecoming. Have some class and respect the institution if nothing else.
    Funny stuff, well written, and in spite of some comments "Oh so True" in may respects.
    Another of those "Retired Wives"

  35. Elise Marie Hurtzig | July 18, 2012 at 11:26 am |

    I love The U.S. because we have the right to wear what we choose, accompanied by the freedom of expression. I personally prefer to adorn my little figure with conservative attire, pencil skirts, heels and pearls. However, I respect the right of others to choose their outfits. I’m not offended by seeing the alluring color of skin, nor am I offended by nudity since underneath the array of cloth we chose to hide beneath is our beautiful bear skin. Besides if a women can fit into little outfits such as displayed above I am sure she is not half bad to look at anyways. If she doesn’t do her outfit justice then she just becomes free entertainment. This article sounds as if we’re written by someone who is easily offended, or whose significant other got caught looking at a women whose taste may be bold, but caught his glimpse if lust none-the-less. As for the soldier who meets her embrace. Well in part, he has just came back from protecting a country that has allotted the girl he holds dear to wear as she pleases.

  36. Are dependents & significant others that stupid, that they have to be told what to wear??????????? the anwser: YES

  37. So we should we all be wearing pearls, French heels, and a sensible Chanel suit?

    Excuse me- but Homecoming is NOT about the appeasing the sensibilities of others. It's about the returning Soldier and His Wife/SO and their family. What the wife, fiance, girlfriend chooses to wear is Her Business and No One Else's! If she chooses to dress like she is heading out to the Club or otherwise- that's her concern and her right.

    Even if if it isn't what you would choose or want to see, don't bash someone else who makes a different choice.

    It's hard enough to deal with deployment. It is outrageous to imply to after all that spouse has been though, just as she is crossing the finish line, she should worry about nasty looks, judgements from strangers, and criticism??

    And, to suggest that a military spouse dress so as to please or not offend a commander's officer's wife is utterly inappropriate. There isn't a single military spouse who wears rank, unless of of course, that military spouse is also a service member.

    On a personal note: On Homecoming, the only person I care about pleasing is my returning Hubby!! God knows I've waited and worried about him and the only thing I care about is celebrating his safe return- however I choose to do so!! As a matter of fact, I can't wait to plan what to wear to my Homecoming, at the end of my husband's third tour! And, I won't be catering to anyone else but me and what I think looks good! Homecoming is the most exciting moment, and no one should damper its joy.

    And, you can bet if I see a wife dressed in something other than what I would wear or think is appropriate, you better believe I will be stand right beside her, cheering with her that the wait is over, for both of us!

    God Speed and God Bless our Troops and their Families! Thank you for your service to our country!

  38. This is offensive both as a Marine mom and as a feminist

  39. uglyduckling86 | July 18, 2012 at 2:33 pm |

    First and foremost, I created a login just so I could reply to this.

    You should be ashamed of yourself. You (and your ilk posting on here) are a disgrace to military wives. FYI, I most certainly can fit in my prom dress (I am a size 0). Second, I am sure you are the kinds of women who think it is OK to show up to a homecoming wearing sweats and no makeup. Your husbands have been over there for so long and have made so many sacrifices, yet you can't even class it up for one day? I find the disgusting, obese women with their tattoos and back fat hanging out WAY more repulsive than I would a woman in (gasp!) high heels.

    For the record, when my husband (a captain) returns, I intend to greet him in an outfit I bought especially for the occasion- a Bebe dress and new Guess heels. (Yes, I intend on wearing panties.) I also am purchasing a luxury sports car which I intend on adorning with a big red bow.

    Please know that my high-heeled, cute-dress wearing self will be there mocking the likes of you. I'm really glad I get to do it on the message board before I do it in person.

  40. If I were returning from a 12 month deployment I'd love to see my wife wearing any one of these outfits; especially the uniform costume!!

  41. Its about time that spouses, male and female alike, wake up and realize its NOT just about their "rights" or what year we live in. My grandparents met in the military, I was raised Navy married Army and my brother and son are both in bootcamp. When I go to homecoming or Yellow Ribbon or any other event, I take my kids. They and I do NOT want to see your bare @ss when you jump on your soldier. I totally get how excited you are. I'm beyond happy to see mine after a year of being a virtual single parent, but I can express that in a really cute sundress or a cute tank top and capris, without my boobs flashing everyone that walks by. My kids don't watch it on TV and they don't need it shoved in their faces when they go to get daddy or uncle. And if you don't think it will reflect on your loved one, then I hope to God he has the toughest CO in the battalion and you learn the hard way. My husband has been in 35 years and his ex wives humiliated the heck out of him, coming in either slutty or dirty clothes (literally hadn't been washed) and got him called in the office for counseling. People need to realize that 1: when you love someone, you care about their career, not just about your "rights" and 2: your body may be 'hot' but my kids and the other kids their don't need that image burned into their little brains.

  42. WOW you are right. I work as a Deployment Specialist at an Army post. Sometimes I wonder what these people think? They show up wearing clothes that when they sit down one can see everything. Then you have the ones who show up in there Pajamas too! We just shake our heads. But we do have those who dress sharp but conservative too. Then the ones who just show up in sweats and a Tshirt.

  43. I dress like I would usually dress. I do pay a little bit more attention to all the details, but I've never dressed like a skank. Both times my hubby has came home it has been way too cold to have anything hanging out! I have, however, considered buying a blaze orange hunters vest, just so he could pick me out of the crowd a little easier when he returns from this deployment. ;)

  44. Fast Eddie | July 18, 2012 at 3:44 pm |

    Are you kidding me. I guess this is from either two things, one, you people don't go TDY or this is the new military. I love the my wife dressing up, (as you put it SLUTY). I call it sexy and who the hell gives a shit except me and my wife (DON'T LOOK). I'd tell that commander to kiss my ass. Screw all of you feel goods. The military is just like, oh lets say CALIFORNIA. I feel sorry for all of you. Thank god I've done my 30 years, this military would kill me.

  45. SemperSteen | July 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm |

    When my husband comes home I want to look gorgeous and sexy, not like I could be rented by the hour. Just my $0.02

  46. I am I’m the Navy and I have a couple of buddies who, when we returned from deployment, were embarrassed about what their wives were wearing. One was wearing a dress that BARELY covered her ***** and butt and no underwear and the other was dressed in shorts that were so short her butt was hanging out and what looked like a bandeau bra. The 6 year old son of one of my friends saw her and said to him “Daddy, i can see her peepee in that not so quiet childlike whisper that everyone around us heard. The point is go ahead and wear what you want but be prepared for the consequences.

  47. uglyduckling86 | July 18, 2012 at 6:02 pm |

    I understand that the author is saying don't dress like a hooker or a clown. That is fine. But perhaps on the other end, she should warn the heavier military wives (too high of a percentage) that sweats, t-shirts and no makeup is disrespecting your husband as much as the hooker. At least the hooker still cares enough to try. When I see women wearing what basically amounts to pajamas, it repulses me and makes me embarrassed to be called an "army wife," a term I loathe.

  48. navy lover | July 18, 2012 at 6:12 pm |

    People just need to remember to keep it classy sexy, not trashy sexy:)

  49. Cracks me up when all these hens cackle about what others should wear and telling others how to present themselves infront of the CO's wife. I served 22 years. My wife would often tell others "My Husband is in the Air Force I"M NOT". She could not have cared less what others thought nor did I. To be honest she is far more successful than most Senior Officers being the Western VP for her company. Wear what you want so long as it covers the important parts and makes your significant other happy, who cares what the others think.

  50. iwearrealclothes | July 19, 2012 at 12:44 pm |

    the most ridiculous part of this is how many of you seem to think (a) she's telling you what you're allowed to do or not (it's a blog post, not a law, folks) (b) you assume she's a snarky bitch without knowing her, which basically you being as much a jackass as you say she is (c) you are actually offended that lingerie isn't clothing and that someone's bothered to put it in print.

    it's still true in all caps:

  51. Army Dependant | July 19, 2012 at 12:48 pm |

    Welcome Home events are not private parties or Girls Night Out. They are sponsored military family events that are often publicized with media coverage,VIP guests (maybe even the President or Vice President), and the occassional lengthy speech. Your military person is in uniform, have some respect for both it and them! You don't have to dress like a frumpy old woman, but keep the goods covered, until you get home, or to the hotel! Do you want your Sponser to have to explain that their spouse/significant other confused this with a casting call for Bad Girls Club, Keeping up with the Kardashians, or the Jersey Shore? Oh, and by the way, please do not hook up in your vehicle afterwards. Everyone would really prefer not to have your name on the MP or SP report to your Commander for this.

  52. Anonymous Male | July 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm |

    I'm in the military, not my wife. She can wear whatever she wants as long as she is happy. She puts up with enough of my deployments and working late so she doesn't need any of you telling her what to wear or not wear. In my branch of service, promotion boards don't even know who my wife is so how can that be held against me? Also, I don't care if my wife is in sweatpants when I get home. It's not important to me. What's important is that she is in my arms. Who are you to ruin anyone's moment with your hen pecking about what they wear? You don't know what people have been through or how they've been raised or what their income level is. Stilettos and mini skirt for 5 hours of waiting? That's ok, because not every couple has kids they have to chase around. If you want to be helpful, write a helpful column. This one is full of judgement because you saw someone who wasn't just like you. (Side note @ good-advice giver – Kate Middleton as your guidepost? Are you serious?)

  53. wow. people really have to TELL women this, besides their parents? They should know better by the time they get married. Nothing is more attractive than dressing like a lady. ANYWHERE.

  54. I have to say as the mother of two military sons, they both agree & prefer not to have their spouse/gf show everything to those in attendance at the homecoming. There’s a time & place for everything, and dressing like a skank in front of other returning Servicemembers, their families (and yes, every time my sons have returned home from deployment there has ALWAYS been small children around) and your Servicemembers flight/unit isn't it! I'm a former 'military brat' & know that my father would have been embarrassed if my Mother (or God forbid one of his 4 daughters) ever dressed even half as sluty as what I see these women today doing (and it's not just the young & thin, which makes it harder to have to watch, you can call yourself a BBW all you want it still doesn’t help- former ‘larger woman’ myself). I know that at least in my family some things are known to be better when kept a secret from the other guys in the unit. (AND YES, THEY ALL TALK ABOUT THE TRASHY WOMEN THROUGH-OUT THE ENTIRE FLIGHT OR UNIT, I know I've had to hear all about my son's ex-wife before – and still do – and it isn't nice!!!)

  55. The technical definition of clothing is a garment designed to cover the body. Therefore, technically all the above items fall in that category. The technical advantage to being a civilian is that they do not have to give a hoot about a chain of command, uniform regulations, the identities of other military member’s spouses or ranks, the opinions of onlookers or any other such unneccissary nonsense. The only concern they have to have is the person they have come to greet. So whether the preference of that couple is sweats, jeans, flats, heels, comfortable, uncomfortable, skimpy, conservative, stylish or frumpy……it is all good…..,and as long as there is diversity in this world it will never cease.

  56. The technical definition of clothing is a garment designed to cover the body. Therefore, technically all the above items fall in that category. The technical advantage to being a civilian is that they do not have to give a hoot about a chain of command, uniform regulations, the identities of other military member’s spouses or ranks, the opinions of onlookers or any other such unneccissary nonsense. The only concern they have to have is the person they have come to greet. So whether the preference of that couple is sweats, jeans, flats, heels, comfortable, uncomfortable, skimpy, conservative, stylish or frumpy……it is all good…..so just smile at the variety of opinions and the wonderful fact that as a civilian you can support your loved one without needing approval from anyone else in the room.

  57. mrschief28 | July 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm |

    Michael, I think that's AWESOME! Really, I do! But, how would you have felt if she decided to expose herself for all to see? Your wife found a way to be sexy for YOU in an appropriate way (barring anything unusual happening). She was covered and kept it for you. But, I must ask….how many of your peers and for how long did they ask you, just what she had on underneath that trenchcoat?

  58. Personally, I want my wife to look her absolute best when I get back from deployment. I don't want her in sweats, look like she just finished mowing the lawn or looking like some preacher's daughter. I want her hair done. I want her nails done. I want her to look like the trophy wife whom I purposed her to be, but without her looking like I picked her up off of a street corner. I believe EVERY woman can look her best without looking like a slut. Remember, children are always present at home comings, so discretion should be used out of respect for them, if nothing else.

  59. I wear very high heels as often as i can justify it, i love them, they are comfortable and mine are cute! I walk just fine in them and being barely 5 ft and my hubby is about 6ft the heels help :) i agree some things look silly for a homecoming but to each her own, as long as you descent and dont embarrass the hubby i say we should all be less judgmental amd let people wear what they like

  60. Honey I missed you so much and have been dreaming of your body so much, now that we've made love for the first time in 6 months what do you want to do now?….Well lets get off the quarterdeck

    20 years in the Navy I didn't really care what ever other wives were wearing, but they do sell dark sunglasses in the ships store, so we can look at the skanks on the pier without getting caught

  61. You totally forgot the trench coat with nothing underneath. I saw this one time, the girl totally forgot to check herself out from behind before she left home, she would have realized that the split in the cost went above her hoo ha. We all got a eye full, and her service member didn't even need to spin her around.

  62. I am from Europe and almost brand new US and navy wives "club". I have received an email before homecoming that I should wear a panties. Especially for this day I bought a pair and I couldn't stop wandering who is going to be in a committee checking if I wear them…
    And seriously – reciving e-mails in this style is offensive to me. This article was posted on my facebook wall by FRG. I think is ridiculous and makes me think that stereotypes about Americans might be not just a story tale in the end.

  63. When we'd pull in from deployment, spouses and friends would be waiting on the pier. My ex would dress accordingly, depending on the weather. Sometimes rain gear, sometimes jeans and a blouse, sometimes sweats and a Navy sweatshirt. It didn't matter to me one bit. I would smell like "the ship" anyway, as she put it. We would kiss and embrace and then get the heck out of there asap anyway. Traffic was always horrible on homecoming days.

    It's all about common sense, but some people are sorely lacking in that.

  64. As a Gunnery Sergeant in a Marine squadron with a returning detachment from a six month deployment, I was assigned to pass spouses through the security checkpoint to meet the returning personnel. At one point a beautiful woman approached, wearing a big smile,high heels,fishnet stockings,a raincoat,and a pair of bunny ears! At that time VMAQ-2 was the Playboy squadron. I just smiled and passed her through!

  65. I will wear wherever my heart express for my husband…I don't have to pleased to others!, and if this outfit affects my soldier's carrier so bad! because he es a HERO for be there for his country an that is what it counts!! no my clothes

  66. If a single military wife with no children wants to welcome her husband home in a respectable sexy outfit, stop complaining about it. The only reason "sexy" is offensive is because of your own imagination and not minding your OWN business.

  67. Too funny :} I always thought of wearing something on the vintage side, like a cute dress with short heels, never thought anyone would go out to welcome their service members in scandalous clohing and stiletto shoes lol. Great article!

  68. Some truth, and some humor! When it comes down to it, stick with your own style, don't go Stepford Wife, but again, remember there are children present so at least think of them! For homecomings, I dress sexy, not slutty, there is a difference, and there is a way to do it without all your girly bits on display! As for heels, if you can, then go for it! I do! But then I can wear 4 inch heels all day and be fine. So if you don't wear them all the time, then don't for what could turn into a 4-5 hour wait! I am pierced and tattoo'd by the way, and have no intentions of taking any of it out for anyone, not for a job interview or for a homecoming. Its part of who I am. If the "Brass" can't handle it, then too bad. My husband does his job well and I am a civilian not who he is!

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