The Blog-Happy Spouse Balance

Hand on computer keyboard

It is no secret that my husband worries I will someday publically write or say something that will hurt his career.

I am not nearly as worried about this as he is. But then again, it’s not my career that’s at stake.

Many spouse bloggers get around this by operating either mostly (like many of the spouses on here who write under handles but reveal their full identities if you meet them) or entirely (like this fantastic spouse about whom I literally know almost nothing, including her husband’s service, though we’ve met) under an alias.  Because I was sitting on a professional journalism career before I ever blogged a word, anonymity was never an option.

It’s not breaking OPSEC that concerns me so much as accidentally angering a vindictive Army officer. Most days this is not a problem. After all, when was the last time you saw someone get really angry over a hard hitting post on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition? That’s what I thought.

When I start feeling nervous is when stories like this are released, and it’s all I can do to keep my big mouth shut … or when I stumble upon a situation rightly deserving of major criticism and want to call “shenanigans.”

But the military is full of catty people, and there’s always the possibility that an opinion legitimately and even graciously expressed will annoy the wrong person, or even the wrong person’s spouse. What if, for example, you were to boldly go where no spouse had gone before and declare uniform purses “tacky,” only to find that the mean spouse of your husband’s squad leader is a proud wearer? Awkward. And potentially damaging.

How do you balance a public blog life with protecting your husband’s career and reputation?

About the Author

Amy Bushatz
Amy is the editor in chief of’s spouse and family blog A journalist by trade, Amy also covers spouse and family news for where she is the managing editor of spouse and family content. An Army wife and mother of two, Amy has been featured as a subject matter expert on, NPR, Fox News, NBC, CBS, ABC and BBC as well as in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and Washington Post. Follow her on twitter @amybushatz.
  • I fall into the “mostly anonymous” category, m’self: I don’t care to see our real names casually bruited about the Internet, but I’ve met a few bloggy friends and introduced myself accordingly. I’m not aware of anyone in my husband’s command reading my blog or my SpouseBUZZ posts, but I keep in mind that nothing shared online is truly anonymous.

    Before posting, I sometimes take a mental step back and evaluate my writing on the “skipper’s inbox” criteria: Would my husband or I be horribly embarrassed if the post were to show up in his commanding officer’s email with our names attached to it? If so, I reconsider what I was about to put out there for public consumption, even behind the dubious “wall” of a pseudonym.

  • Petra

    I’m with Nth o this. Most of my stuff stays largely anonymous, but I still try to keep it clean enough not to embarrass myself, my husband, or the kids in the long run. The uniform purse made me giggle, since friends (spouses, A/D people, and vets alike) and I talked about that one at length and now seem to giggle (at least I do, and at least one other friend) whenever we see a purse with all the bells and whistles (names and ranks and awards, oh my) – even more so when it is carried by the spouse of someone higher up the rank chain…

  • Rena Nichole

    Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say face-to-face. :D

    • DocGay

      Rena,Does Facebook count as face to face??We the old school called them weekend warriers.But now days they also go to war and fight for your freedom.They have earned the right to be called soldiers..De Oppresso Liber