SEALs Put the S-E in SEXY?


I’ll admit that I love seeing a man in uniform. The first time I saw my husband in his BDUs (the Army’s camo of choice at the time), he took my breath away. He still does, only now I know firsthand the good, bad and ugly that comes with being married to a man who wears combat boots. For me, the good more than outweighs the bad, but that’s not to say that the bad isn’t weighty at times.

In the aftermath of the flawless take-down of Osama Bin Laden, it seems that women everywhere are swooning over Navy SEALs. The romance novel industry is responding to the demand. Out with vampires and vikings and in with SEALs:

Ever since an elite unit of Navy SEALs stormed a fortresslike compound near Islamabad, Pakistan, and killed Osama bin Laden, people can’t get enough of the SEALs. There are some who want to know what it’s like to be one, and others who want to know what it takes to become one.

Then, there are those who want to know what it might be like to, well, “be” with one.

The serious-minded can sift through countless articles and hours of documentaries. The more prurient can mine an entire universe of Navy SEAL romance novels. There’s the “Tall, Dark and Dangerous” series by Suzanne Brockmann or the “Tempting Seals” books by Lora Leigh.

The appeal of a clean-cut Navy SEAL in the land of “lace-wristed dukes” and longhaired Fabios is simple.

“For readers, Navy SEALs are superheroes without the spandex,” said Pamela White, a journalist and romance novelist whose pen name is Pamela Clare.

Publishers are already bracing for a flurry of Navy SEAL-themed pitches and manuscripts in the coming weeks.

“When something like this happens, it is going to be huge,” said Gail Chasan, senior editor at Harlequin Enterprises Special Edition, the Ontario-based publisher synonymous with the romance genre.

Next comes an article which lists five reasons women would like to date a SEAL. It’s graphic enough in places that SpouseBUZZ would be in jeopardy of losing its PG rating if I used an excerpt or two, so you’ll just have to hit the link to see for yourself.

Did you laugh, roll your eyes, both, neither?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud to be married to a man who could protect me better with his bare hands than most men could with a weapon and I definitely find that comforting, but to reduce the hard-acquired skills of a SEAL to sexual gratification?

One commenter on the Shine post claimed to be a SEAL and had this to say:

My wife thought it was cool that I am a SEAL when we met and married a few years later. She thought she would love the intrigue and my ability to keep a secret as you say. However she has learned to hate the fact that I am here today and gone at a moments notice, sometimes so quickly that I have no time to tell her that I am going. I just don’t show up for dinner tonight or for days or weeks. Because of the necessary secrecy I am not able to tell her about my work so she feels alienated and neglected. It is very difficult. My hat is off to her for staying the course over these many years. It sounds romantic but is in reality much less so.

A little gravity (and realism) on a rather shallow posting.

Yeah, I get that the post was salacious entertainment value. I also get that the SEALs are justifiably being celebrated for their heroic actions. But when you live the very exclusive military lifestyle and have been at war going on ten years, catch me on a bad day and things like this can rub me the wrong way.

I won’t argue the lure of men in uniform. They do look incredible and strong and brave. I understand the mystique surrounding the men involved in what may go down as the operation of the decade. But I think all of our troops are special and priceless, for a host of reasons unrelated to their ability to enhance my sex life. When you drill past the layers of muscle and myths, what’s really sexy about all of these men is their willingness to go to unimaginable lengths to protect and serve our country.

About the Author


Andi is married to an active-duty soldier and is the founder and former editor of SpouseBUZZ.

She is the founder of the Annual MilBlog Conference. The MilBlog Conference is the premiere event of the year for military bloggers. President George W. Bush, U.S. Representative Adam Smith, GEN David Petraeus, LTG Mike Oates, LTG William Caldwell, RADM Mark Fox, MG Kevin Bergner, MG David Hogg and The Honorable Pete Geren have addressed previous conferences.

While living in Washington, DC, Andi was the Ambassador to Walter Reed Army Medical Center for Sew Much Comfort, a non-profit organization which makes and delivers, free of charge, special adaptive clothing for wounded service members. Andi has worked with several non-profits to help our wounded heroes and their families. She finds that work to be the most rewarding and meaningful of all.

Andi strives to find humor in the good, bad and ugly of life and is a firm believer that laughter has the ability to cure most ills.

  • Mollie

    Mention that your husband serves in the Navy nowadays and people immediately assume he is a SEAL and thus Superman. My husband most definitely operates on the “Clark Kent” side of the Navy.

  • Ha! I’m one of those women who reads the Navy SEAL romance novels and I have for years – they’re not a new thing at all. My husband – Navy, but not a SEAL – just laughs at me. While it is true that some of the books (cough cough Lora Leigh) are smut that I wouldn’t touch, the same is true of books about policemen, firemen, even race car drivers. But a lot of the books ( like Suzanne Brockmann’s) actually DO emphasize the devotion to duty and country and create “special and priceless” characters. Just because it’s a romance novel doesn’t mean there’s no character development or chemistry based on something besides physical attraction. (Sorry, this is my pet peeve – people judge me for reading romance novels all the time and it drives me crazy, especially since many of them have never read one!)

    But yes, that Cosmo article is ridiculous! I think I’m still blushing…

    • Andi

      Ha! Nope, not judging you. I don’t read the novels, but I was impressed by the author in the first link who thoroughly researched the SEALs and even had one of them read her manuscripts to check for errors. But you’re right, the other article. Well…….

    • Nette

      Yes! I’ve been a Suzanne Brockmann follower for a decade now :)
      I have to be truthful though, when she made 2 SEALs Gay….didn’t turn me on. Sorry :(
      I also learned a great deal concerning insurgents and terrorists and countries I hadn’t know about (sad to say), Kazbekistan? I thought she’d made it up. der So, very educational on lots of levels :) I can honestly say, it’s hard to put down one of her books once you get into it.
      And with your hubby…..role play? hubba hubba (I”m so bad. ha)

  • My husband is right there on the “Clark Kent” side of the Navy, too…deployed, alas, but not to anywhere sexy or even remotely dangerous…I got to go visit him! Honestly, those articles and books amuse me, and make me sad that people buy into the hype instead of getting to know the real men (and women) behind the uniforms.

  • I might mention a special “Godspeed” for a Delta or “other” that is gone in a tweet….but thats’ the extent of aknowledgement as per privacy considerations.____ SEALS are not Sexy to me. To me, they are to be protected and rightly SO. I will use the S word but not in th term OF Sexy as a description.____I would SAY: Serious, Sanctioned, Stable, Studious, Superb, Stealth, Stubborn, Streamlined, Swift, Sacraficial, Sane, Scrupulous, Stunning, Sound, Speedy, Simple, Skilled, Sleek, SMART, Situated, Sophisticated, Sly, Smooth, Solid, Specialized, Special, Spontaneous, Supportive, Staunch, Steadfast, Striaghtforward, Successful, Succinct ans Synchronistic.____Groupies exist to exist. However, I’d bet my farm that a groupie wouldn’t know a Seal from a StarFish.____Great Article! One good point…if it raises “ratings” for the Military….AWESOME.____Blessings,__JuliaHugoRachel

  • All of this talk about our service “men,” makes me wonder what about the service “women?” I am not a Seal but I definately wear combat boats everyday of the week. I wonder if most men find a boot wearing chic too strong willed? We don’t look sexy at all in uniforms designed to tone down our curvy gifts from mother nature.

    • musicman

      You might just be suprised……

  • Elizabeth

    banana, for some reason men dont usually find females in the military particularly appealing. my hubby hates it when i lounge around in pt gear or wear my hair in a bun. he says he wants to go home from all that. my hubs thought about goin seals while in bootcamp and i said nuh uh no way!!! i did not find that sexy one bit. the idea of him bein gone at a moment’s notice. call me weak but i couldnt do that. i do love a man in uniform tho!

  • michaela james

    I lived in San Diego for 3 years and i hate to burst your bubble about the seals but they are not that great emotionally. I was in a thick crowd with them and they did protect me usually from other pervert team guys trying too hit on me. But at the same time they have an attitude normal people could not handle. If you were fat or stupid i guarantee unless at a promotion you would not get a look in. I used to live in an x-seal trainers house in San Diego and he always said they were from broken homes and his quote was Blondie(that’s me) they all wanted to be me!!!!

  • I’m not a spouse (or in a relationship), but admire community and think military husbands are dreamy–love both short hair and long-haired. they have the beautiful stereotype of well-trained in strategy, materials, and fitness, nice organized family orientation, full of love and miss you. Thank you SEALS for being brave and elite. Where can I find?

  • My Ranger couild have been the poster boy for all that is wonderful about America. He is now in a nursing home secondary to the effects of Agent Orange. He wouldn’t have changed a thing about his service; neither would I. He had everything going for the backup of his sexy image (!!!) We have the (soon to enter B.U.D.S) young man to prove it!
    My point is, when you get one of these glorious sexy hardasses, beware of the whole package. The ride has its’ high and low points, just be ready if the pretty picture changes, and all of you get to dig deep and find out what your’re made of. ….

  • From the wife of a SEAL Officer (over 20 years I have dealt with the groupies and the reality. These men are special and yes! they are sexy! It is sexy to be married to a man who knows dedication, commitment and sacrifice. Who knows right from wrong. A man who isn’t afraid of anything and failure isn’t an option. I have seen my husband stand up in situations when most men would run. He is sexy because he is in control. He is sexy because he makes smart decisions that are guided by truth and by honor. He is sexy because he is not afraid of standing up for what is right and what is the best for his country and his family. He told me that he had to go back to war after 911 so that his children wouldn’t have to be afraid that they would be sitting at work like the 911 victims were and have it attacked by terrorist. He is sexy because he is so unselfish that he would give his life for your family, your children and your rights to freedom. At an age where I see many of my civilian friends suffering through painful divorces, I know that being married to a man who has what it takes to be a SEAL, also has what it takes to be a man. The entry above that said SEALs were “hitting on her” was not married to one. If you have what it takes to be a SEAL wife (and he will know it when he sees it) then he will take that risk (and it is a risk because he has to let his emotions come in to play, which could be fatal in the field) and then you have his dedication-his protection and his love-now that is SEXY. And the physical part……..amazing!