Our imaginary flag

I enjoy watching military movies and tv shows and documentaries with my husband.   Being in the Navy and what he does is such a huge part of him and how he spends his days (and sometimes nights and weeks and months), but it is a part of him that I don't really get to know about.  Not with any real depth or context.  So glancing over to see his face as he watches Bad Voodoo's War or sitting down together to watch The Hurt Locker is a way to bridge that gap.

When my husband returns from deployment we readjust our Married Unit queue on Netflix so we will have things to watch together.  When he came home two years ago we rolled through the NCIS series.  And he developed a habit that still carries through today.

Periodically Seadaddy will reach behind him and pull out the imaginary BS flag to wave around as a signal for me to pause what we are watching.  Then I will hear how those socks are not worn with that uniform, or why that chain of events would never occur, and on and on (and on and on).  I can see how this might drive someone else crazy, but I really love it.  It is one of the things I am going to miss the most when he leaves this summer. 

I am not saying we sit and hold hands while watching Army Wives.  There are limits.  Even if it is imaginary, he'd rather find a way to poke his eye out with the BS flag than watch some things.

But I like being able to learn little by little some of what he knows and does. 

A few military spouses have started a new blog reviewing military themed movies.  And as I was reading their posts, it seems I am not alone in appreciating the chance movies give us to gain perspective of our spouse's experiences.  

Where do you fall when it comes to watching this genre of films and tv?  Do you stay away altogether when they are deployed and even when they are home?  Do you enjoy the fact checking play by play?  Do you not see the point in nitpicking something that isn't real? 

Comments

[kirsten]

Reading along when this phrase struck me
"as a signal for me to pause what we are watching."

OMG-You get to hold the remote??

I figured that was one of the perks of being alone, that and the whole bed and stuff.

I stay completely away while he's gone, and depending on the movie we will watch together when he's around.

While he's gone, of course, it's ChickFlickCentral.

[Penny]

".. appreciating the chance movies give us to gain perspective of our spouse's experiences."

This is exactly how I feel! I've tried to explain to the Soldier how I want to watch them so I can see that but he doesn't see it the same way. He pretty much complains how they're doing everything wrong, heh. I normally don't watch war related movies during a deployment. Once the deployment is over I do watch them but on my own. :)

[tankerswife]

I tend to stay away from them all the time. DH used to be able to watch just about anything. But one of the long-term side effects of his experiences is the inability to watch war and more specifically, people being hurt in war.

As much as I'd love to learn more about his Army life (I grew up inundated with Air Force life), I'm just content to have him home, safe and sound.

[Smiles]

I don't normally like to watch reruns of anything when there are new shows and movies I haven't seen yet but now that I am a Navy wife there are exceptions to that rule for shows like JAG and NCIS. I watched most of the JAG series before I met my now husband but now I love JAG reruns because it is a whole new show when you understand the acronyms and get glimpses of carriers like the one my husband is currently deployed on. I don't watch war movies when he is gone but we watch them together when he is home, especially the older ones. My husband is a history buff so not only does he explain the military hits and misses but I also get a world history lesson about everything that affects or lead up to the conflict in the scene we are watching.

[Maureen]

Ugh- GET OVER IT! I'm an event planner and don't pause every wedding movie to say "that would never really happen..."

It's a movie, not real life, enjoy it and let me enjoy it too. Hubs and I haven't watched a military movie together since he started in January- and I don't think we will anytime soon because I won't have the patience for it! Doesn't help that he's a lawyer and already interjects to every law related movie we watch...

[Amber]

I like watching this stuff with him. I avoid it when he's gone.

When he's home it's fun to learn about "his life", but when he's not here it just worries me.

In fact, when he's not home I don't even turn the TV on. :D Makes it easy to avoid this stuff.

[airforcewife]

Air Force Guy totally does this. And it cracks me up. If there is a movie I want to watch without the interruption, I just don't watch it with him, but since it's a bonding moment for us those movies are rare.

On the flip side, when we watch movies that aren't about things he does but feature women, he'll pause the movie and ask me, "Do women REALLY think this way? Seriously?"

He caught about 15 minutes of Mama Mia when daughter #2 was watching it and stomped off because "THAT is the most UNREALISTIC movie I've ever seen IN MY LIFE. And that includes Twin Peaks!"

He didn't think it was very funny when I told him that, "Duh, of course it's unrealistic. I don't break into song every time I start preparing dinner, do I? We're not watching for the realism, Dear!"

And can I just echo Kirsten- You get to hold the remote?

[aggie_mle]

I have found that Iraq movies hit a bit too close to home for hubby.. but he really likes Vietnam movies.

I can watch them (war movies) but I have to be in the mood to watch them. I bought "Hurt Locker" 3 months ago and still haven't watched it.

I love the bonding time of having shows that we watch together (and when he's gone and can't watch, I dont' either).. so we can share the gasps and OMG! moments, when he comes back.

tv is amazing, and I love how it can bring people together (even when we are far apart). :)

oh, and yes - I watch Army Wives.. by myself in another room, because he can't stand it.

[Kelly H]

LOL! Army guy enjoys watching war movies and he will definitely comment on the "that would never happen that way" or "they can't wear it like that/don't wear that" things. I'm oblivious to that...as are most of America. But to him, it's important.

I do NOT enjoy watching war movies very much...never had. And now with him having already deployed and knowing he may go again in the near future...I stay FAAAAR away from those types of movies.

I went and saw Black Hawk Down with him a few years back at the movies. NOT a good idea. Although it was a good movie (and of course, he commented on the inaccuracies all the way through)...it took everything in me not to cry the whole way through. But I did all the way home! It just hit too close to home at how that stuff COULD happen to him...I just don't want to actively deal with it so visually.

So I watch happy movies most of the time...I get enough realism through the news.

[Jessie]

Isn't netflix great!?! I love it. I use it to watch reruns of The Unit with GI Joe. We also watch NCIS together (but of course I get the--this is how it is done in the Army comparisons. I recently splurged and got DirectTV and we have a few shows on the military channel that we watch together. I do agree that it is fun to watch all those with him and get the unvarnished commentary.