I'm Starting To Understand

I've always been frustrated by my friends and acquaintances who profess their hatred of this military lifestyle.  You know the people - always complaining about everything.  First, I don't think it is that bad, and second, (don't throw food) it is a choice that each family makes.  Sure, you've heard me complain about waiting for 45 minutes to get a doctor's appointment, or the lines at the commissary are sometimes really long.  In general, however, I enjoy this nutty life.  I like meeting new people every few years.  I like derive some sort of satisfaction from putting on the cape of responsibility when my husband is gone.

And then we move.

Seriously, the physical act of preparing to move is going to be the reason I throw in the towel.  I am over it.  This will be our third move in three calendar years (no record, for sure) and it isn't getting any easier.  I swear, this stuff just brings itself into our house when I'm not looking.  On Monday, we got rid of a couch, a refrigerator, and a piano.  You can't even tell!  There is not one room that I can go, and sit, and not look at piles:  this stuff to go to the consignment shop, this stuff to go to the thrift store, ...  I've already given in, and hired a handyman and a painter.  (I'm no AWTM, that is for sure.)  I need to clone myself if there is any chance that this stuff is going to get done.  For me, moving is the breaking point.

Upon reflection, other peoples gripes make a little bit more sense.  Moving is my breaking point, theirs is something else.  There are probably even people who enjoy this pre-move stage.  They can have it.  I'll be in the corner, going through piles and complaining to anyone who will listen.

Comments

[SB]

I am one of those complainers...and you know - we've been stationed in the same place for SEVEN AND A HALF years...so many advantages to that - bonding with friends, owning a house, fixing it up, etc...and when it comes time for us to move - it will be a disaster because we have accumulated 7 1/2 years worth of crap! When we moved in, we had college furniture and no kids...I don't think we have any of that original furniture and now we have two kids. YIKES!

[Stephanie]

After nine years, I still do not understand the complaint lifestyle. I mean we have a great life and we are well taken care of. Full medical, all the added extras that make our life cushy. So you have to move, what a great experience for anyone. It teaches us different cultures, and ways of living. I think its amazing where we have been and have gone together in this journey. And if anything I believe it has made my family unit stronger Did we forget we actually have movers move us??? So live a little minimal save the money for a family trip.

As for the new friend department, lets be honest, sometimes its rather nice to escape from those who well would not really be true friends anyway. As for owning a home, well so far we have owned and sold twice, and I have learned from each experience, and maybe even seen where we wanted to end up at retirement.

As a military wife you excepted these terms..Moving is just another one.

[Air Force Brat]

I am not the spouse of a military member, but I was the kid growing up with a father in the Air Force. But I have some views on the subject. I can't say it was bad but there were definitely some downsides as I look back.

In the 1950's you moved EVERY summer! As soon as school was out Mom would come to my room and tell me to select my two favorite toys, all else went to the trash. I was always the new kid at school (I went to 13 schools in 12 years!) One year we were on an Army Post and Mom and I needed dental care. The Army dentist pulled our teeth WITHOUT any pain killers!

The good side I make friends easily. I did see some foreign countries and then graduated in time for NAM!

While in the Air Force my assignments lasted between 24 and 48 months so we weren't moving as much. I never got to settle down til after I retired 20 years ago. Since then I have only moved 3 times. Next time will be to the 'old folks home'!

All in All, I think it was worth it.

[Angela]

I love your comment Stephanie! I feel the same. I love the military life and moving, well I get excited everytime. We are moving again in 2 months to Virginia and couldn't be happier. Sure I am leaving friends but meeting new people is so much fun to me. I don't think I could go back to a "normal" life. It would be so dull!

[Angela]

PS. Complainers, Note: be proud to be a wife you knew what you were getting into being married to a Military Man. Some people have it a lot worse! Just think of the wives that have lost a husband serving their country. Now they have something to complain about!

[Kim]

I am a proud Navy fiance, and I feel your pain, I'm sure moving is difficult, I did it as a child when my father was in the Army. Just be thankful that you can see your significant other. Mine has been stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan for the last 4 years WITHOUT leave, yes 4 years and I've yet to hold him in my arms. So when you are packing up those boxes and getting ready to move, count your blessings instead

[Stephanie Beckwith]

Amen my fellow strong women..

Nothing.. I mean Nothing is more amazing then being a strong support for our men, our fathers, even mothers..

And Miss Kim you said it best. Something I did not put in there..At the end of the day all this frivolous complaining is complete nonsense. When your special one is safe..
Now that ladies is the true blessing.
God Bless and Stay Strong

[Erica]

I am also a proud Navy Fiance and I look forward to the day that I marry my honey. I'm looking forward to moving all over the place and meeting new people and experiencing new things. I know what to expect my honey travels a lot and it was tough a first being home alone a lot but you get use it. You knew what you were getting into before you said I do. You should count your blessings and be thankful for what you have. Like someone in a previous post said it could be a lot worst and those women who has lost their husband serving our country should have something to complain about.

[Nik]

different strokes for different folks. some people do well with the military lifestyle, some can't stand it. I just wish more couples would really understand the lifestyle before the get married/join. Military could really do a better job of counseling prospective military wives before the say I do.

[marinesaggiewifey]

I kind of disagree with the "you knew what you were getting into" phrase. How can someone really know what a situation is like until they're in that situation? Especially if they were married before the military member was in the military, and they come from a non-military family. I personally have a hard time dealing with those who seem to complain all of the time, but some people it's just their nature (they'd complain whether they were a military spouse or not) and others don't realize how much they complain. I think we all complain every now & then, but most move on after getting it out. Just remember, someone, somewhere, always has it worse than you do! That's just my 2 cents though lol.

[Wondering]

My husband is not military but we still move, a lot! I did not know we would be moving so much when I married him. He didn't know either. I find it is all about your attitude - If you have a happy positive attitude then your kids will, too.

[awtm]

SOS, you all have moved an awful lot, I married @ 20 and will say this, I had no IDEA what 19 years had in store for me. No idea...moving in my 20's was fun, but now...well I am a little tired. Ha

[Guard Wife]

SOS, I do not envy your moving AT ALL. I cannot even imagine, movers or not, how you've done this so many times in such a short time with the kids & on your own.

It is a sure sign of understanding yourself and being comfortable in your own shoes to find a breaking point, share it and then move on.

I know I identified with a lot of the sentiment in this post, even if I cannot identify with the moving!

[airforcewife]

You know I love moving... after the move is done! We've never made a move I regretted, but when I'm in the middle of the stress of sorting, packing, cleaning, and keeping up other daily activities I DEFINITELY need my vent moments! I'm only human! And so are you - and you are doing GREAT.

I do have some advice for you, though. If you happen to be deep and final cleaning out your bathroom with bleach (naked, because who wants bleach stained clothes?), make sure the towel is in there with you and that none of the blinds are open.

Because I've been there done that and that's ALWAYS when the Verizon guy comes to check the connections. ALWAYS.

[Melaina]

First, I think we all forget that we have bad days and when that happens we complain. SOS knows she'll somewhat settle down and meet new friends but she's currently overwhelmed and exhausted. As military wives I think you should all gather around and show a sense of understanding there's no need to lecture someone when they are clearly already feeling blue. I am not a military wife but my husband is in the oil business and he leaves when they call and comes home when the job is done, that can be 2 weeks, a month or 2 months, then he can come home but they can call him back anytime, he recently had to leave after being home 54 hrs he had been gone 25 days and it was during my bday lunch, he had 2 hrs to pack and hit the road. I complained a ton in the beginning because I was alone with my 2 and 4 yr old, I work full time and I had to adjust to doing everything. Change is never easy and it has begun to become our "new normal" but I still have a bad day every now and then where I just want to scream Uncle. I think it's wonderful Military wives have an outlet as their is not a support group for Oil Field wives and it too is a hard life, granted he's not gone as long and although danger is attached it's very different. SOS did know she was marrying a man in the Military and I agreed to my husband taking the oil field position but until you are smack dab in the middle of the situation it's really hard to wrap your head around how it will truly be. I mean how many of you were told your life changes after a baby, and babies are a lot of work- did we all really listen and understand that, I say no. You don't realize how tired you will be, how long it now takes to go on a spontaneous shopping trip, or how your child becomes the center of your attention. I hate my husband's job sometimes but that's when I am exhausted, lonely, had a crappy day at work, the kids were in rare form and the house is a mess. A new day arrives and I am fine I still miss him but am so proud of him for making the sacrifice to support the boys and myself. I know he misses his son's like crazy but he wants to save money for college and have time with the kids once they can play sports, so we sacrifice now and reap the rewards later. Thinking of you SOS, and hope the days get easier and less overwhelming.