The Predictably Unpredictable Army Strikes Again....

....but there is good news, folks!

My husband has been TDY on many, many occasions throughout our marriage. I wish now that I had kept track of it because I don't know if my guesstimate of 3-4 years is on target. As for non-TDY, more permanent deployment bye-byes, we've had two. One for a year and one for seven months. Both times, we had ample warning. Both times we knew approximately when he was leaving. Both times, the house became cluttered for weeks with gear that would accompany my husband to his destination. On both occasions, I had time to process what was happening, and prepare for it. 

A couple of weeks ago, my husband came home late at night, quickly packed, and was gone the next morning. It was so odd. 

There was no warning. No time frame to process. No time to prepare, physically or emotionally.

If you had asked me which situation I would prefer before this little episode, I would have told you it would be scenario one. Hands down. I'm a preparer - I like to know what's going to happen, and when. I like to have special time with my husband before he leaves. I like to shop and make sure he has things he needs, or at least things I feel better knowing he has.... But surprisingly, I found that I rather liked scenario two. There was no calendar watching, no anxiety, no stepping over gear for a month, which is a constant reminder of what's to come.  

I've said in the past that I'm not sure how the wives of special, rapid-deployment units cope with the out-of-nowhere deployments because it seems even more disruptive than "normal' military life, which can be disruptive enough. But I'm surprised to find that I actually prefer the quick and dirty good-bye. It was a much better experience than the other two. Deployments/separations are always different so I'm not really addressing that here, just the good-bye process (or lack of it). 

I'm glad I had the opportunity to compare the situations and I'm a little shocked to find that my preferences, which I thought were set in stone, can -- and do -- change. I have no idea when I'll see my husband again. Neither does he. But I'm okay with that. 

Who knew?

Comments

[aviator Wife]

I like scenario #2. We have done both and I hate the dark cloud that hangs as you count down the months, weeks and days until a deployment. I prefer to just get it over with. The sooner you get to it the sooner it is over and I feel better not having it waiting in the distance.

[kirsten]

I totally agree! This deployment I had 3.5 months notice, goodbye/hello for CST in the midst of that, and then he's finally gone. The previous deployment was 5 weeks of rush here, get shots there, go on a planned vacation and gone. I much preferred that shorter time to this endless time.

[POL Wife]

We had a similar thing. Not a late night random departure but a deployment before we'd even gotten our HHG deployment. We had 2 weeks versus 3 months of prep time and I think I agree, the less anticipation the better! I'm not sure I could handle the turn around time you did, but we basically had the chance to spend as much time with our kid as possible for a week, then pack him up and ship him off. Having to prioritize things like that was great. I handled this deployment better and our son went through his first deployment with barely a hitch in his stride.

[Sarah]

My husband seems to have the unfortunate luck of getting the *next* deployment announced while he's still on the previous one. That's a looong time to fret. Last year he still had six months left in Iraq and we knew he'd be leaving for Afghanistan seven months after he got home. Same this time: still in Afghanistan, already slated for Iraq at the end of the year. Bleh.