What Say You?
October 21, 2009|
SpouseBUZZ has talked with First Lady Maria Shriver's office re some military family issues, and we're thrilled to learn of Maria's strong admiration for, and commitment to, military families. Today we received a message from Maria to pass along to you:
As the First Lady of California, I have had remarkable opportunities to meet with military families across the state. From Travis Air Force Base to Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar, I have been amazed by the strength and spirit of military families. I believe that military families serve, too, and your sacrifice and service is truly deserving of our respect and admiration.
Through my experience speaking with military families and learning about their inspirational stories I realized that they had more to teach me than I could share with them. So I invite you to join me in a special project, 10 Tips for Military Families by Military Families, and share your advice as a military spouse, parent and family member. What is one piece of advice you would like to share with other military families? Your thoughts will go a long way to help military families who can benefit from your experiences. My goal is to share these tips with military families through my website and other opportunities that may arise.
Please, email and share your advice by October 30th. You are welcome to leave your comments and remain anonymous.
Thank you, Maria Shriver, California’s First Lady
Maria will be posting these tips on her website soon. Email your advice to Maria by clicking here, but also feel free to leave your tips here in the comment section.
If you were asked to offer one piece of advice to a new military spouse (or family), what would it be? Mine is: Keep a healthy sense of humor, even when things look bleak. Laughter will take you a long way, especially when it comes to military life.... Right, airforcewife?
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I was hoping the spouses could help us out. My son wants to collect extra Halloween candy to send to his cousin who is deployed in Afghanistan. He stated to tell people about his plan 2 days ago and already has $300 pledged for shipping and another $100 for candy. People have been asking me what kind of candy is best and if chocolate is OK in the heat. I told them I didn't think heat was a problem this time of year but would find out. So, since we are just a bunch of civilians who want to support our troops the best we can I thought the spouses could give us some ideas of what is best for the troops to consume themselves and hand out to children in Afghanistan.
Posted by: Queen | 10/21/2009 at 18:06
Queen - I've sent chocolate to my husband before and it did fine. He's requesting snickers and almond joys so that's what I'm going to send for halloween.
Posted by: Jewels | 10/21/2009 at 19:14
My advice - don't waste a minute of your life "hating" where you've been stationed! Make it work .. somehow, some way, find a way to "bloom where you're planted". Being negative about your location will infect every aspect of your life; decide that you'll find out something new, explore a new way of life, or do something good for yourself. We only have a given amount of time on this earth. Don't waste it! :-)
Posted by: DeeZee | 10/22/2009 at 01:01
I tried to send her a tip but the e-mail address is faulty.
Here is mine: "Keep in mind everything can change and probably will. At the last minute, it will change and probably 4 times between now and then. Have you ever heard "if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans"? The same goes for the military."
Posted by: NMarineWife | 10/22/2009 at 11:38
My tip (aside from laughing at what you can't change) is to always pass on the names of your good hairdresser, babysitter, and mechanic. We all start from scratch every time we move, and if someone else is willing to share their good fortune it makes everyone's life easier.
Also, the next time you move you'll need the same information from someone else. So pay that forward!
(PS: If anyone needs an honest mechanic in the DC metro area let me know)
Posted by: airforcewife | 10/22/2009 at 12:35
It seems we have an invalid email address, I'm working on getting a correct one. In the meantime, you can post your tips here. I'll correct the email address as soon as I have it.
Good tips, everyone!
Posted by: Andi | 10/22/2009 at 12:40
Military Spouses looking for a support system, networking and friends and have fun should turn to meetup.com. There is an anonymous meetup for all spouses enlisted and officer wives in San Diego. Three of our members have participated in Vulcan productions Integration documentary toolkit which will be available in early 2010.
About San Diego Military Wives Fun and Support Group
Military Wives Fun & Support is a place for fun gals like ourselves to meet for support and socializing, especially those who are new to the San Diego area or who would like to meet people. Anyone who's husband is in the military is welcome. Enlisted, officers, active duty and reserves wives we don't care as long as you know how to have some fun! visit us online http://www.meetup.com/SD-Military-Wives-Fun-Gals/
This Emotional Life- Vulcan Productions IntergrationToolkit
http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/toolkit/military-reintegration-toolkit-coming-soon
Posted by: TheRealArmyWife | 10/26/2009 at 13:39
For those who have emailed and commented, just want you to know that the email address has been fixed and you can send your tips in now.
Posted by: Andi | 10/26/2009 at 18:02
My advice would be to always stay busy while your spouse is serving overseas. Keeping yourself busy all the time rolls over your days like crazy and before you know it they're coming home! Also make sure you have lots of friends and family that will be there to support you and listen to you when you are having a bad day!
Posted by: Dorothy | 10/27/2009 at 20:07
keep cheerful and busy if its your frist deployment like my son or the many times a familey member is deployed.
Posted by: nancy | 10/28/2009 at 09:54
My advice as the former military spouse, the former military member, and the Veteran Services Rep: NEVER LEAVE YOUR MATE BEHIND. It should be common sense, but for some reason it's not. You stand TOGETHER even when one of you is a world away. There should be no need or desire as great as your love for each other. There is no betrayal that can hurt like yours: betraying your mate, in any form, is bad enough, but to betray the military member who gives unselfishly to others, OR the military spouse who keeps it all together when no one else could; to betray the one who lives for the day they will hold you again, takes hurt to a much deeper level. You make the best of every day you have together, or apart, because a better day is always just over the horizon.
Posted by: Cyndi | 10/28/2009 at 14:26
Always keep an open mind and never think you've seen it all and know it all :)
Posted by: Petra | 10/28/2009 at 19:10
One tip passed on by a senior wife (along with the bloom where you're planted philosophy) was to do the major projects (sorting, eliminating excess, repairing/repainting furniture, etc.) before the move as much as possible. The move is challenging enough without having the projects to do before things can be put in order on the other end. And then accept that you didn't get as much done as you would have liked (before the move, during the deployment, while he was home, etc.). Bloom!
Posted by: Mary (Army daughter, AF wife) | 10/28/2009 at 20:49
We just moved to a city that does not have a post nearby. It is a big adjustment after living in D.C. where there are military everywhere. If you are in this situation join as many things as you can. I found a Mom's group and it has been a great way to meet friends. I just started a yoga class yesterday and found out that the owner organizes a "night out" for the women once a month. Secondly, always ask if a business has a military discount. Many places don't advertise it, but you'd be surprised how many places have it.
Posted by: Lisa | 10/31/2009 at 08:49