Trading Deployments Makes Them Go Faster

Air Force wife Darla made me laugh today with this paragraph:

A wise woman once told me that those that haven't experienced deployment or long periods of separated time from spouse/partners can't possibly understand how we feel when someone says something like 'oh he'll be home soon' or 'over half way there!' or 'three months will fly by!' She explained it along the lines of 'why don't you try sticking your head in a doorway and slamming it repeatedly with the door for the next three months or 30 days and see how quickly time flies by.'

It's funny how grating it can be when people tell you how quickly they think your deployment has gone.  I always feel like saying, "Gee, I sure am glad it's flown by so fast for you!"

And I try very hard never to tell other military spouses that they're "almost there!" or how quickly time will fly.  I know how much it stinks to say that out loud, even though, truthfully, everyone else's deployment goes so much faster than my own.

Maybe Darla and I could trade deployments?  Hers seems to have gone fast for me, and I'm sure mine is going fast by her standards too.  If we could only figure out how to trade...

Comments

[Wife of a Sailor]

Oh. My. Gosh. This is too funny... and totally resonates with me right now.

When people ask when he's coming home and I say "oh, sometime in the first few months of next year" (he's on a nuclear sub so we can't discuss dates even relatively closely) they say, "Wow, that's not too far away! The holidays are almost here and before you know it, he'll be home."

Um... yeah, you mean those holidays that I normally love? The ones that are the first in our marriage yet we are spending apart. Yeah, thanks... don't remind me.

I LOVE the idea of someone slamming their head in the doorway and being able to say, "But don't worry, the holidays are almost here and your head will stop being slammed before you know it!"

[David M]

The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 10/19/2009 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.

http://www.thunderrun.us/2009/10/from-front-10192009.html

[Apryl]

I've had quite a few friends try to compare themselves to me with that whole "well my husband's been gone for a week I can't wait for him to be back"...I'm like really? Really? Don't people ever think about what comes out of their mouths??? Oh that's right. NO.

I had a letter that I found online right before DH's first deployment..I'm going to have to dig it up but it specifically talks about what your friends should and shouldn't say/do. It was awesome.

[Married to a Marine]

I was at the post office a few weeks ago and got into a conversation with the postal worker about how my guy had been in Iraq for 7 months, come home for a month, and is now in Afghanistan for 8 months. She said, "Well, at least he's not in prison".

Among the many replies formulating in my head, the one that came out was, "True, but we don't get conjugal visits." Some days it's just hard to be polite.

[Sarah]

"At least he's not in prison"?!?! Now THAT's a new one! :)

[Lucy]

Geez, what goes on in people's heads, sometimes? I like the idea of "trading." =)

[Love My Soldier]

OMGness! My one friend tries to "act" as if she can relate because her husband is a truck driver...po-leeze! Give me a break! He chooses when to work, and even though he may only come home for a week out of a month, he still owns the road w/ a huge truck to hide behind.

My DF is infantry and fighting...meaning...no more protection than the armor he wears. Are bombs being exploded on our roads? No!!! Whoo...I feel better now. And I am too so sick and tired of people telling me how quickly time is going to fly...especially in trying to plan our wedding. Time isn't going any faster, trust me. It's a constant struggle to stay afloat some days.

Be blessed ladies!

[Kathy]

I try to remind myself that people are trying to be encouraging when they say "It will be over before you know it.", though it didn't fly when we were on our 3rd deployment and hubby had only had 7 months between the first two and 13 months to th day between the second and third, the first one had been 13 months and the last one was 15 months.
But I'd rather hear that comment from people who don't get what its like than the comment one of my sisters made to me which was "Well, you chose that life." Ticked me off too because its not like I was calling her everyday boo-hooing about my husband being gone. I only talk to her when I see my family once or twice a year for vacation, so needless to say it took all my Army wife grit not to knock the snot out of her. Of course this was coming from my sister who can't even go to the grocery store without her husband by her side.

[Darla]

I agree with many. Compared to a deployment, after nearly 9 years of marriage I look FORWARD to just the little 1-3 week aparts. Keeps things healthy, but 4-6 months is another insane store entirely. And considering EVERYONE handles it differently, sometimes he two deployments can't be compared.
Thanks for the link ... we can definitely trade deployments :)