One generation to another

While I was visiting my mom over the summer I had a conversation with a retired Army spouse that has stayed with me.  I've wanted to write about it for months but wasn't sure if I could find the right words.  I probably won't but here it is anyway!

Mrs. C is a petite elegant woman with a wicked twinkle in her eye.  Mrs. C's husband was a career soldier who served in both Korea and Vietnam.  And yet, when she saw Stretch and I come into the church that Sunday morning, she came up to us and thanked us for our service.  Then she looked at me and told me how proud and in awe she was of us, today's military wives. 

I was staggered.  She went on to say that today's young women displayed such strength, enduring multiple deployments.  I tried to point out that her generation were our role models, that they'd had to face many more hardships than we do.  I said that at least we usually had good communication available to us.  Her response seemed to indicate that maybe that was a double-edged sword for us.  She pointed out that in her day, the war might be on the 6 o'clock news and that would be it.  They didn't have to make a conscious effort to avoid reminders. 

Recently, Sarah posted this and this about their current deployment.  It made me realize that Mrs. C had another point about communication.  It's great that we have so much available to us to stay in touch with our loved ones.  But it's not so great if we become chained to our computers or phones, afraid we might miss a communication, and not going on living our lives.  

Our first deployment was very old-school.  We had snail mail that took a month or more to arrive.  Stretch managed to phone home once before the invasion began.  Our last deployment couldn't have been more different.  He had access to email, was able to phone home once a week or so, and we were even able to schedule video teleconferences through Freedom Calls.  

Was that last deployment better or easier than the first?  No, not really.  I wasn't as scared I might lose my husband but I also never left the house without forwarding our land line to my cell phone.  And I never left the house without my cell phone, even if it was just to walk out into my front yard to watch the kids playing.  I'm pretty sure the phones even went into the bathroom with me.  They might as well have been surgically attached to me.  Looking back, I'm not so sure that was particularly healthy.  Perhaps I would have done better to just continue living my life.

Comments

[She of the Sea]

It's an ongoing question - is all this communication good or bad? I've decided that it just is, and to let it go at that. I do wonder though.

[Jewels]

I am like you. My phone goes EVERYWHERE with me. . .just in case he calls. Even though that's not the healthiest thing, my days are soooo much better when I talk to him. I end up missing him more, but he makes me laugh and that's what I need.

[Wife of a Sailor]

My phone goes everywhere too, just in case he MIGHT get to call. But I'm dealing with both sides... lack of communication (since he's on a submarine... and not a fast-attack) AND I get to hear all the media.

[airforcewife]

I'll admit to it - the phone goes in the bathroom with me.

[Semper Fi Wife]

Hey, so does the Dark Prince!!!

[Andrea]

My phone goes everywhere with me but if I miss a call I don't freak out. I shrug my shoulders, feel disappointed, and then move on. Because I have to.

But, I must say, my outlook is much cheerier when I talk to my beloved!

[Sarah]

My phone went everywhere with me last year, but not this year. In fact, today I left it in the car when I went into a get-together because I knew it probably wasn't the right time of day for it to ring, and I just didn't want to stand there holding it. I am much more nonchalant about the phone this time around.

Of course, I also wrote that I was ready for notification after five days, so I don't know how mentally healthy I am, regardless of being OK with not having my cell phone! :)

[Tina]

My phone goes EVERYWHERE. I turn it to high volume when I get in the shower. This time around, it's less about me missing a call and more because it makes Him nervous if we don't answer!

[army_wife]

My phone is with me EVERYWHERE too. My IM is also turned on my phone all the time in case he's on the computer, and when I'm home my computer is turned on. I know it's not the healthiest thing, but it makes my day better too. But I agree with what someone says, after he gets off the computer or we got off the phone I miss him more. But the conversations are always worth it. I miss him so much.

[Love My Soldier]

I was like this at first, but then DF and I are sort of on a schedule. He can only talk during specific hours out of the day, so I just make sure I'm available then. Beyond that, my phone ends up where it does :) But I totally understand how it feels to be so connected to the phone. I agree with the older lady in your story; having so much communication can backfire. On the other hand, nothing beats talking w/ your loved one!