You're a milspouse? So am I!

Have you ever noticed that when you meet another milspouse, particularly if you've gone without the company of other milspouses for awhile, that you trade much more data about each other in a speeded up "getting to know each other" phase so that you can move on to the "friendship" phase than is probably normal for most people?  You get the 411 on their military life quickly:  where they've lived, do they have kids, how many, how long have they lived here, when will they be moving.  It's a bit like speed dating, only looking for friends.  Okay, maybe it's just me. 

So, here I am.  And you probably want to know a little about me. 

I've been married to my Marine for 11 years now.  Ours is a mixed marriage:  I grew up as an Army brat.  My husband had already been in for 6 years when I married him, so I've always felt a little like I was playing catch-up on the learning curve compared to spouses who had been with their service member from the start of their careers.

In our 11 years of marriage, we've had 9 addresses, PCS'ed 6 times, gone through 3 deployments (2 to a war zone), had 2 children and 1 miscarriage.  We've lived on the East Coast, the West Coast and in the Far East.  We've lived on Marine bases, Army posts, a Host country military base, and now we are living in Civilian World with no base of any kind anywhere nearby.

In the past, I have volunteered with Navy Marine Corps Relief Society, L.I.N.K.S., the CREDO office, the Base Legal Assistance office, and as a Key Volunteer.

My husband's deployments have always been impeccably timed.  The first time he deployed to the Middle East, it was only for a month to take part in a planned training exercise, but it was less than a month after 9/11.  And he missed our oldest child's first birthday.  The second time he deployed to the Middle East was in early 2003.  We did that deployment old-school:  snail mail was our form of communication and letters took about a month to arrive.  We were able to talk on the phone only once.  The third deployment was much better in terms of communication:  we had email, phone calls, even video teleconferences.  But it was a year long!  And he deployed only a month after we moved into our new home after moving from overseas. 

Despite some of the rough times, this life is an adventure.  One I wouldn't have missed for anything.  After all, how many people can boast that their children once had their own gas masks? 

I'm looking forward to sharing some of my experiences and observations with all of you.  I'm incredibly honored to join the wonderful authors and commenters here on SpouseBuzz.  Thanks for having me!

Comments

[Jessie]

Welcome and I can't wait to read more about your adventures!

[Semper Fi Wife]

I love your description of how milspouses meet each other.
It's so true!!
Glad to have you onboard, Marine Wife!
Urrahh!!

[Sarah]

Gas masks, eh? You should tell that story sometime...

[Laura]

That is SO very true about mil spouses...we lived for 5 years in a "remote" location, more than 50 miles from the nearest base...and I think I overwhelmed the non-military people around me...in my desperation for friends, I came on as strong as I would have for other mil-spouses... I have to say I am VERY glad to be back in an area with other mil spouses who "speak my language"!!

[TERRY]

I LOVE THE CLOSENESS OF OUR FRIENDSHIPS DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE MOVE FROM EACH OTHER. I AM A MILITARY WIFE OF MANY YEARS. MY HUSBAND IS ON 28TH YEAR. I STILL HAVE VERY VERY DEAR CLOSE FRIENDS FROM YEARS AGO AND WE STAY IN TOUCH ON A REGTULAR BABIS. I TAKE PRIDE IN BEING AN ARMY WIFE MEMBER OF THE SENIOR BRANCH. SO HERES TO ALL THE MILITARY WIVES OF THE VARIOUS BRANCHES OUT THERE, GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!!!! AND A RED ROSE SHOUT OUT TO THE ARMY WIVES AS THE RED ROSE IS THE ARMY WIFE EMBLEM.... TERRY

[TERRY]

OOPS LOOKS LIKE I CAN'T SPELL...SORRY GIRLS

[Marie]

I'm so confused...
I do not think I even belong in here. I am and have been for the last year a single mother to a magnificant little boy who just turned 3. My exboyfriend just missed the 3rd birthday of his son. That would be 3 for 3 but not because he is in the Army. He has only been in for one year come the 29th of this month. He is 26 years old and I am just about to turn 30. He was married to someone else at a very young age. Seeing how he was going through a divorce we became engaged but never married. I just spent last weekend with him. My intentions were to allow him some visitation with his son but I fell in love with him yet again! I have never been one to tolerate violent relationships or abuse so I do not understand how I could possibly feel anything other than disdane for this individual. But I find myself falling for him after not seeing him for a year I suppose. He wants us back. He says he loves me and wants to marry me. But before he joined the army he cheated, he choked me, he lied and now he says he loves me. I am so confused he seems changed but how can I go back after all of that? How can I allow myself to even consider it? Love is not enough. He used to hold so much contempt for me, I can't sit here and fool myself into thinking that the Army somehow completely set him strait...Right? Is there anybody out there who has any advice? I love him so much but he has so many issues and so do I (obviously). He has not even been to war, yet. I mean I have seen some of the most solid people I know go over there and come back completely dillusional. Does it ever happen the other way around? Do some people who start out as S#!t heads come back with a greater appreciation for life, seeing how it can all be taken away so easily? I am not a saint, I played my part too. There is no doubt in my mind about that. And to tell you the truth I never condoned joining the Army. I especially did not think that someone that was so unstable should be handed a gun. However I am begining to think that whatever training he is getting now from SF is changing him for the better. But war must be a completely different story...
it's 2am and my heart is sinking. I told him we need to take our time and he agreed.
PLEASE if anyone is really out ther and has any words of wisdom it would be greatly appreciated.

[Sarah P.]

Hoorah for the camaraderie of the milspouse lifestyle!