Silent Understanding

Before the Soldier deployed for his third tour earlier in the year, we decided that it would be best if Little Man and I came back home to stay with my family in civilian world. 

There are many days I miss military land and the people in it because there is a silent understanding of the lifestyle we have. If you meet someone new in military land and find out the spouse is deployed, you can share advice, stories and simply just talk. It doesn’t quite work that way in civilian land. Lately once civilians have found out the Soldier is deployed, the question du jour has been, “Oh. So, then what do you do all day?”

I admit it has caught me off guard simply because there was something about the question that bugged me. I wanted to tell them about the 60 deployment list I have, the different teams I’m a part of on Soldier’s Angels, the small business I’ve been working on for over a year, raising a 2 year old while trying to teach him two languages, trying to figure out potty training for him, and overall being a wife and mom.  If anything, I have found that living back home has increased my responsibilities and if you’re a spouse who finds yourself back at home then you might agree with me.

Only until recently did I finally understand why the question bugged me. If it had been a military spouse I was meeting for the first time then it probably would not have been asked.  Plain and simple, there is no need to. We understand certain things about our lifestyle that others couldn’t.  It is almost as if we belong to a secret society.

One of the things I loved about the first Spousebuzz conference I attended two years ago, as a brand new Army wife, was that for the first time I met others who understood. They understood my worries and concerns about militay life, deployment, shared funny stories, and gave advice when it came to conquering the gremlins. Overall, I finally felt like I found a place that made me feel welcomed. 

 I am very honored to be a part of the team and look forward to sharing my life and the experiences along the way with you, thank you!

Comments

[Reasa]

So true Penny. My new neighbor and I decided it is wonderful to be around people with the same normal as we have.

[Marine Wife]

Very true! We share a common language and culture and sometimes civilian-land comes with its own brand of culture shock.

[Apryl]

We don't live on post nor near a post and we get asked "He's going back?" "But I thought they were pulling everyone back."

Sometimes I think it'd be nice to be surrounded by other MILSpouses so I get a bit of support. Sigh..

[David M]

The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 07/28/2009 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.

http://www.thunderrun.us/2009/07/from-front-07282009.html

[RedLegMeg]

My favorite of all the deployment questions is "Now, he won't have to go back again, right?". Even from family members who I feel I've done a pretty good job of explaining all this stuff to and who know he's already deployed more than once! Do you think that they think there's a "deployment limit"? Maybe it's just wishful thinking on their part...

Those questions just don't pop up when we're around our milspouse friends, though.

[Andi]

We're so happy to have you on board!