Appreciating the Little Things

I might be the only one, but even when my husband is home, I often feel like I'm in charge of everything.  Paying the bills, buying the groceries, organizing our six thousand doctors and dentist appointments, getting the babysitters, buying the clothes, writing the Christmas cards (or not) - you know the list.  However, during the last five months I've discovered quite a few things that are clearly "not my department."  For example, we went camping over Memorial Day weekend, and I thought that we needed to buy a tent.  One of my kids said, "Um, we have a tent.  Two actually."  I was completely surprised - I just have never paid any attention to camping stuff.  I just show up.  Ditto for grilling dinner at the pool  The first time I had to pack a cooler to have dinner at the pool, I realized that my husband has always done that.  Pretty much all of it.

Of course, I've forgotten some of my discoveries, but it has been enlightening.  Lawn mower, Christmas lights, yard fertilizer, air in car tires:  not my department.  It has probably been good for me to realize how many things my husband does and I'm clearly not giving him enough credit for his contributions.  So, to my husband:  Thank you.  (And since you are so good at these things, you are welcome to take over anything else you would like.)

Did You Know?

Exchanges Offer Firestone Car Centers
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AHRN Housing Referral Network

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Now That's Can't Be Normal!

A few weeks ago my husband brought home a piece of paper he received after his records were reviewed when he transferred into a new detachment.

The piece of paper said (paraphrased):  Your qualification on the Uzi has been revoked because you have failed to requalify within the required amount of time.

After several hours of having seen that paper and not noticed anything unusual about it, I realized that the fact that we had that paper in our house and didn't see anything unusual about it was probably *not normal.*

On the other hand, it is OUR normal.  Just like moving every few years, decorating our house like  Middle Eastern Applebee's, and eating copious amounts of delicious Afghan food.  It's very odd to my family and quite a few of my friends from "before", but it is our normal.

In fact, I realized that a lot of the things that are "our normal" are so, well, normal for us that I never even notice they might be off until a socially awkward situation develops (see also:  ruck - humping; misuse of).  Since I'm all about preventative measures to avoid embarrassing situations (like it ever works for me), I'd like to hear things you've discovered about the military that don't always translate to the outside world.

What's your normal?

The Knock

Air Force Wife Liz writes about "the knock."

Back in the states it was 5:26 am on Monday May 11th and I awoke to "the knock". This is what every single military wife lives in fear of. I never thought I would get the knock.

Thursday May 14th I left Shreveport with my escort Brian (fellow EOD guy who literally had just come back from Afghanistan 3 days earlier) We had to go to DC to get an emergency passport for me to get to Germany. Then Friday night we left DC and arrived in Landstuhl, Germany Saturday morning. I got to the hospital just as David was coming out of surgery.

We left Landstuhl Sunday afternoon on a C17 military aircraft and arrived back in DC Sunday night. We were taken by ambulance to Walter Reed and have been here for the past week and a half. 

Liz maintains a blog to keep family and friends updated on her husband David's condition. She also says blogging is "therapy" for her. Liz and David have a long journey ahead of them. I love the Martha Washington quote Liz has on the blog:

The greater part of our happiness depends on our disposition and not our circumstances.

Reading through Liz's blog, you get the sense that she lives that quote. If you're the praying sort, Liz and David could use your prayers, and your support.

 

Can't You Act More Torn?

My husband's dedication and wholeheartedness are qualities that I admire most about him.  When he does something, he does it fully.  That especially goes for his job, which he takes very seriously.  It's one of the things I love most about him, one of the things that drew me to him in the first place, but sometimes it is a hard quality for me to accept.

My husband is the type of man who goes in to work over block leave.

I Love It!

What an awesome idea for military families. Great photos, too....

Mechanic Fail or no I cannot fix teh washing machinze

I am not sure which # life lesson I am on today.  I sort of like to advise anyone who reads SpouseBuzz, to become the anti-me. 

Today was one of those days. 

Time Keeps On Slipping...

My husband and I went on our much-anticipated vacation to "somewhere other than our parents' houses."  We took two whole suitcases and had the time of our life.  My husband did a much better job of relaxing than he did back in January.  The vacation was perfect.

Until the last day.

And all of a sudden, I realized we were on Block Leave.  I realized that the end of this trip signaled the end of block leave, which means July was coming soon, which means my husband is deploying.

My husband is deploying in like two weeks or so.

And I wanted the last day to slow down, to last forever, to never end.

But it did.

Tiny Feelings of Resentment

Sis B's husband is home, and she's still liveblogging reintegration.  One paragraph of her recent post jumped out at me. 

Speaking of resentment... I'm harboring a little more of that in the department of feeling underappreciated. Most of my readers know the challenges I have faced during this deployment. (If you don't, go back in my archives a year and read forward from there). What with 2 hospitalizations, a premature baby, a numerous amount of casualties within the unit, an unexplained mystery illness which is still symptomatic, the false casualty notification, the loss of a good friend in Iraq... um... I've been a little busy. I've had my fair share of trauma and near-death experiences. I also turned thirty, which is a harrowing event in and of itself (ha!). I do not, in any way, feel like I have had it harder than my husband. I do, however, feel that I have endured enough to have a little respect and appreciation from him. He gets to be called a hero, have ceremonies, parades, and a lifetime of respect. I am a housewife. It doesn't really have the same ring, does it?

I think we all have felt this way for one moment or another.  Sometimes we like to be thanked too.

And sometimes we go through things during deployment, enormous things, life-altering things.  And while I don't need a tickertape parade or a medal ceremony, it is nice to have someone, especially your spouse, acknowledge that you had it rough.  That you don't have to be in combat to be scared.

Well said, Sis B.

Grab a Kleenex First......

If this doesn't cause you to break down in tears, I'm not sure what will.

The Way We Get By - Trailer from The Way We Get By on Vimeo.

The blog is here. 

More information here.

Thank you, Maine troop greeters. You'll probably never know just how much you are appreciated.

CNN Wants You

In July, CNN plans to feature military families, with a focus on the troop build-up in Afghanistan. It's a great opportunity to show the world how strong, resilient and proud our military families truly are. Our friend, Mike Kelley at USAA is assisting in this effort. More information below:

In July, CNN would like to focus more on what is happening with the families who are at home while their loved ones are still in, or deployed to, Afghanistan. The focus is on this region as more troops start deploying there. They want to hear from a diverse range of people about how they are coping with a family member’s deployment, what challenges they’re facing, and how they may be overcoming these challenges. This could range from multiple deployments, job loss, PCS moves, etc. Ideally the families would be located in Atlanta, Florida, New York City or Washington, D.C. Atlanta is preferred given logistics. 

If you're interested in being interviewed, click here to send an email to Mike. Let us know if you're selected. We'll be sure to tune-in.

Laughter (x2) Really IS the Best Medicine

I've had the incredible fortune of having my husband home and not deployed for quite some time. Of course, there are many things I miss about my husband when he's away, but something happened the other day which made me think, "Yes, this is what I miss most when you're not around." 

Our cat is a tuxedo cat, so we frequently tell him how handsome he is in his tuxedo. The other night, we were sitting outside, sans weird headgear, and Max went on a bathing binge. Hey, he's a cat, so he's naturally a frequent bather, but this was obsessive. For about 20 minutes, he licked and he groomed and he was as focused as I've ever seen him.

Impact of Deployments on Children

Officials Work to Lessen Impact of Deployments on Children

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New Law Protects Renters
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Dear Somebody...

Hi, Semper Fi Wife here and I just wanted to drop you a line and introduce myself.  I have been hearing about you for years and years. 

It all started when my kids were very small...

To Rush or to Hustle?

The Boss and I are PCSing -- as 'tis the season.  This go'round, she's pressing ahead with winding down the chores at work and I'm solo racing cross country to beat the van to the new destination as if I get there first, then we get to do the famous "door-to-door" move.  Yea Team!  Furniture, boxes, "my stuff" gets handled only twice; once on, once off.  Versus adding a complete set of possible abuses by going into storage first.

So with that, comes the need to rush headlong, almost blindly, to the next installation. This is a three day drive, at 9-10 hours a day ... so focus and lots of AMP to get me down the road... but yesterday, Day One, I realized I was driving right smack through the town of one of my heroes.  So I dropped her an email and asked, "I'm driving through, can I buy you a cuppa coffee?"

And she said ...

Oops.

I was driving back onto post this morning with all windows down enjoying the sun.  Little Man sits behind me and apparently caught the gate guard's attention.  As the guard is checking my id he is chatting up my son and asking him if he is staying out of trouble and if he is being good for daddy today and if he let daddy sleep in.

Then he looks back to me for some kind of feedback.  Like he wants the real story and not just the flirt face Little Man has perfected.

So I tell him that Daddy is in Iraq so he is pretty safe from any trouble Little Man causes. 

Oops.  Poor man about had to sit down, he didn't know where to go from there.  At all.  Which wasn't what I expected or I might have just taken the smile and nod approach as he was being terribly nice in our thirty second exchange.

And in related news: Happy Father's Day!  To all the dads in this military family of ours who are deployed, tdy, geo bachelors or otherwise separated from your kids, know there are plenty of people with a little extra tug in their heart for you and yours!  Especially the ones where communication might not be possible. 

Fit Club: Random Thoughts

In the two-ish months that I've been actively trying to get fit, a few random thoughts have crossed my mind.  And you get to hear them:

1. Buffets are not the enemy.  When I first embarked upon this voyage, I thought that my days of potlucks and buffets were over.  In fact, I've found them a great tool - I can take just a smidge of something that interests me, enjoy it, and move on.  I don't have to cook an entire casserole of macaroni and cheese to have a taste.  What's more, I'm not responsible for the leftovers.  Brilliant!

2. I think that some civilians find it suspicious that I'm improving my appearance while my husband is gone.  They clearly just don't get it.

3. I've had an odd change in motivation to get fit.  Well, the underlying reason is still the same:  to be healthy and be attractive for my husband.  But the more immediate reasons are different.  When I started, the thought of a reward was my biggest motivation:  I really wanted that pedicure!  While the tangible incentives are still nice, I'm highly motivated by logging my food and exercise, weighing myself, and noting the progress in my journal.  Prior to this, I couldn't imagine that idea.  Amazing.

4. A laugh is a smile that bursts.

That's all for this week.  What are y'all thinking?

Tonight on SpouseBUZZ Livewire!

We all know how our service-members rock their uniforms, right?  I mean, seriously.  Yum.  It's one of the definite perks of the lifestyle.

Well one former soldier is rockin' the catwalk on TV Land!  Tonight we're interviewing Raquel Riley, former Army Captain and current contestant on She's Got the Look.   

In case you didn't click the link, here is Raquel - and WOW!

 
Did I mention she also has three children?

Tonight we'll be talking to Raquel about her Army life, her time on the show, and getting some tips on how a military spouse can keep herself looking good and get ready for those moments when we want to do some seriously glam time (like homecomings!) despite our hectic and unpredictable schedules.

Listen to the show on SpouseBUZZ Livewire at 8 pm EST and join us in the chat room!  As always, we'll have a great time - you don't want to miss it!

Because you might be headed on the road... (warning, do not read if you have a weak stomach)

2 years ago I drove half way across the country to visit DH, who was at one of the Army's infamous schools.  What could have been a simple drive, proved to be otherwise. 

However the story proves 3 things.  Dramamine can solve big problems, never buy an expensive handbag, and military spouses always have the best adventures EVER.  Hold it, make that 4 things, portable movie players are the devil.

So with almost EVERYONE i know either PCS'ing, traveling, or just on the road, I thought I would offer the following.  This is from my personal archives.  It is also worth at least a full house in a weak game of military wife poker.

I really have apparently spoke too often and too well of how well my children "The Collective" travel.

Because as with all things that you boast about, it has quickly come to an end.

That memo?

I have worked out of doors since I was small, I actually prefer it to working indoors. 

I am always learning by my own errors.  So per my usual, I would hate ANYONE to learn the lesson the hard way. 

So lesson #278

Army Lodging Overhaul Coming Soon

Army moves to privatize on-post lodging

 

The Miss-O-Meter

I spent last week visiting my husband on his final pass prior to his leaving for his overseas deployment.  When I returned home, I picked up the mail that the Post Office had been holding for me.  As I thumbed through the bills, magazines, and junk, I saw it.

A big envelope with Deployment in the "From" field and my name in the "To" field. 

I ran my hands over the envelope and realized what had finally arrived.

The Miss-O-Meter.

You people are nuts

When I was 20, and a fresh faced bride driving cross country with my just returned from Desert Storm husband to our new home in North Carolina we hit a drive thru in Missouri. 

"I will take the largest iced tea you have"

I took the biggest drink ever, and then spit it all over the interior of the car.

Did You Know?

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SAT & ACT Prep Software Still Available
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"Pathetic" and "Sad"

Remember when I cracked up after reading Coping Army Wife's "pathetic" comment?  The visual just struck me as funny. And yes, pathetic. It's always the little things that get to us..... Today, I read about one Army wife's first PCS move. Strange new town, strange new people. And one "sad" planner. I can relate so strongly to this. Most of us have been there and have the collection of t-shirts to prove it. The silver lining is that the planner will probably fill up fast...... 

This is My Brain

With Air Force Guy coming and going on a very frequent basis, it has become accepted fact in our family that my brain is the repository for all things... well, all things.  Need to know how old the roof is?  2 years.  Family blood types?  Four B negatives and an O negative.  Need a kennel?  A mechanic (I found a great one, by the way, who doesn't overcharge or cheat us!)?  Who is our doctor?  Husband has a headache - what could have triggered it?  Oh, and by the way, the minivan is about ten miles overdue for an oil change.  AND DON'T PUT THAT IN THE DRYER!

Unfortunately, keeping all this information on ready access alert in my head (I do write everything down as well) means that most days I engage in quite a lot of stream of consciousness thought.

For instance:

More possible signs of weirdness

For a while now I have been thinking about something that probably doesn't happen too often outside of military family life.

Seadaddy was deployed for pretty much the entirety of my pregnancy with our son.  And five years prior to that, he had reenlisted and was in A school and sent to his first duty station during the gestational period of my stepdaughter.  So with two kids of his own already, earlier this year was his first experience living with a pregnant lady.  For some reason that just cracks me up.  

Thankfully he is going to be back from his current deployment and should not be leaving for his next deployment before this baby is born.  Which is great, because liveblogging my labor for the benefit of him sitting in an MWR computer center in Iraq probably loses its cool factor the second time around. 

I Totally Did Not Want to Go There...

It started out innocently enough - the two younger Air Force kids and I went to a local homeschooling conference.  We had to sign up Daughter #2 for next year at our homeschool academy of choice.

We did a bit of "window" shopping, bought some books, and meandered our way over to the Academy table to sign up.  I grabbed an application form, started filling it out, and was confronted by this:

Mother:     (resides in home/resides separately from child)
Father:      (resides in home/resides separately from child)

Whose definition are we using here? 

Make That Two Suitcases

My husband starts block leave today, and next week we're jetting off for our first hotel vacation in four years (you know, as opposed to the go-visit-family vacations that military families usually spend their leave days on.)  Since airlines now charge for suitcases, I assured my husband that we would be able to fit all our stuff in one big suitcase.  It's only a week, right?  And it's summer, so there's no bulky sweaters or coats.

Apparently I didn't think this one through...

From Combat Boots to High Heels: Raquel Riley's "Got the Look"

Tonight at 9pm EST, the second season of TV Land's, She's Got the Look will debut. She's Got the Look is a "model competition for women over 35." This season, the military community has someone to cheer for. Raquel Riley, a former Army Captain, was chosen as a finalist. 

Raquel Riley of Clinton, MD is a former officer of the US Military and a top ten finalist on, "She's Got the Look," premiering June 11th at 9pm EST on TV Land. Riley ditches her combat boots for heels and struts her stuff down the runway in this 35 and over reality modeling competition that searches for the next face of the fashion industry. 

35 Year-old Raquel takes her discipline and athleticism from Captain to the catwalk with an undeniably motivated and confident attitude and the support of her husband and three kids.

Click here to see Raquel's screen test (she's featured in the third video).

Next Thursday, at 8pm EST, SpouseBUZZ will talk with Raquel about being a finalist on the show, and about her time in the Army. Stay turned for more information on how to listen to the show, and how you can call in and speak with Raquel. 

More background below:

Hey, You People are Weird....

Being a military wife means having all kinds of interesting odd things laying around the house. Cots and cords. Camelbacks and canteens. Survival tools. And of course, there's the apparel. Footwear, ponchos, neckwarmers, gloves, cold weather gear and warm weather gear. Oh, and there are tons and tons of uniforms, and things that attach to said uniforms. On and on it goes.... airforcewife has blogged repeatedly about being married to a "geardo." It is a rather amusing existence.

In the evenings, my husband and I try to sit out on the patio, relax after our day and just take in the chirping sounds of nature. It's very therapeutic and had become a ritual I began to enjoy until one day my husband decided to change it. And not in a good way.

Happy Anniversary, Semper Fi fund!!!

May marked the 5th anniversary of the creation of the Injured Marine Semper Fi fund.  Five years of supporting Marines, Sailors and their families as they go through recovery and rehabilitation.  I've been a volunteer with the fund since June of 2006 and wrote this post awhile back.

In those five years, this is what the fund has accomplished.....

A little bit of history

On Sunday we had an open house because we are desperately trying to sell our house before we PCS later this month.  We had to be out of the house so a bunch of strangers could walk through our house and invade my personal space (yes, I have issues with this, but I know it must be done).

We decided to drive 3 hours away to take our kids to Antietam National Battlefield.  There are two pieces of history that have become important in our home regarding Antietam.

A day in the life of....

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Time to get off the pot

We have almost been in our home for a year now. 

There are are a couple of problems, and I will take responsibility for them.

Operation: Military Kids, Part II

I introduced Operation: Military Kids (OMK) to SpouseBUZZ back in April 2007.  To be honest, I haven't thought much about OMK since then.  Primarily because my children are active duty dependents and OMK's main purpose is to support the children of National Guard and Army Reserve parents.  I also think that sometimes I hear of someone or some organization that is doing great work and am impressed, but then I tuck the information away in the back of my head somewhere and, sadly, forget about them.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this (right?!), but I can't help feeling a little ashamed.

Then, during our SBLive event in Norfolk, a nice lady in the audience mentioned OMK on at least two separate occasions and I had an "ah ha" moment.  I needed to check back in on the program and see if there was anything new happening.  And with April being the Month of the Military Child, what better time?  Well, again, I dropped the ball and let it fall to the wayside.  What is it they say about good intentions??

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The Sweetest Thing?

I seriously think one of the best parts of being a military spouse is the romance. 

Seriously, the long separations, the reunions, the months without....even touching.  Well it makes the heart ache, but it seems to turn up the  mush factor .

The predeployment edge

I think we might be approaching a month that Seadaddy has been gone.  But for the monthish leading up to it we participated in the predeployment dance so many seem to go through. Lots of aw moments, reminiscing about the past, enjoying each other's company, guessing what our little man is likely to do while he is gone, wondering how communication will go while he is on the ground, and making bets on how long our redeployment honeymoon phase will last.  Let's not forget getting up each other's butts, annoying each other and bickering about some of the most ridiculous and petty stuff.  

I can't believe this negative part of predeployment seems completely unavoidable.  Thank goodness for facebook status updates, because I was able to get some reassurance that I was not alone in this routine.   Somehow that seems to lessen my anxiety over not having things work out as well as I think they should.  And yet I was surprised because it seems us 'civilian' wives are not the only ones who dance this dance.  We have married friends who are both active duty and the wife said she also finds predeployment prone to the nitpicking and negative.  For some reason I was surprised by this.  I thought for sure they have both been through enough seperations and deployments on both sides that they would have their stuff together by now. I don't know why I thought that mil to mil marriages would have more of the answers, but I am comforted even those well versed in the military way of life aren't keeping secrets from the rest of us.

"That Lovely Army Jerk-You-Around Stage"

Entirely coincidentally, many of us SpouseBUZZ authors all seem to be right at the beginning of deployments at the moment.  To my knowledge, no one is at the end of a deployment right now.  But Sis B is, and she's been liveblogging her feelings on pre-reintegration.  Today's hilarious quote:

We're at that lovely Army jerk-you-around stage when they will either be home tomorrow or maybe in three weeks or possibly by your birthday but not before Independence Day but it could always be by Father's Day but don't make any plans until after Labor Day but wait until Christmas if you want to be really safe. No, really, they're serious this time, ya'll!

Heh.  Go follow Sis B and the kids as they wait for Daddy to come home this month.  Or next month.  Or by Christmas.  You know, whatever.

Putting Down the Yo-Yo

Since early this year, my family has been enduring the predeployment yo-yo.  You know the one.  Two weeks of training.  A weekend at home.  Three weeks training.  A weekend at home.  A month of training.  Five days at home.  A month of training in a different state.  A few days' pass before heading overseas.

I'm not going to lie.  I was never a big fan of yo-yos.

A Conversation With the Air Force Kids

Overheard today at the Post Office:

Son:  What does APC stand for?

Blond Daughter:  Armored Personnel Carrier

Son: How do you know that?

Blond Daughter:  Don't you ever watch Daddy's shows with him? 

*APC at the Post Office means Automated Postal Center

Fit Club: 'Fessing Up

I admit it - I've been eating terribly lately, and exercise, while still more than a year ago, has been less than I'd like.  I have plenty of excuses - I was in Utah last weekend for SpouseBUZZ Live, and I had some issues with my ears on the plane, resulting in icky antibiotics, then I went on an overnight field trip with one of my kids.  Pretty much, my life has been the general chaos of a parent whose other half is deployed.  The result:  some poor eating and not enough good exercise.

So, what's a gal or guy to do?  There's only one sensible thing to do - start again tomorrow.  That is one of the things I love about life:  tomorrow is always a fresh start.   The most important thing is that I don't let this little setback ruin all the hard work I've put in so far.

Permanent Change

I put an update on Facebook right after I wrote my I'm a PCS Worrier post, saying that I was already freaking out about PCSing.  A civilian friend contacted me with excitement and surprise because he had looked up the term "PCS."  And therefore, we were going to be permanently stationed somewhere.

And I had this hilarious realization: permanent change of station has the word permanent in it.  Ha!  Why on earth is that?  There is nothing permanent about PCSing!

I had never before realized how absurd that term is.

Only the military would put the word "permanent" next to the word "change."

Army Wives: Season Three Starts Sunday

Season Two of Army Wives had just begun when my husband and I started our PCS move. I was only able to watch a couple of episodes before we left on our journey across the country. There was no way to DVR the episodes while on the road, so I missed two episodes, and when I finally moved into the new house, I was so busy with unpacking and setting up that I had to DVR the rest of the season, and our weekly threads imploded. 

School is OUT for Summer (Active Duty WIVES RULE!)

As I sat in the very busy parking lot at my sons school today, it hit me....

My son is done with first grade.  I am not sure how this happened.  It seems like yesterday, I was sitting in my living room trying to find a Dr. for his physical at his new school, sitting and trying to figure out start times, lunch menus.  Trying to find a pre-k for my little one as well, interviewing schools, and looking for all of the immunization records (which are never where I thought they would or should be)

I Am a PCS Worrier

I have PCS on the brain, and we're not moving any time soon.  But those 36 hours back in April set my mindframe and started the worrying process.  We will probably be moving a year from now, and the crazy is already setting in.

It all started with detergent...

Don't Get MeWrong Or Anything..

Air Force Guy is currently outside the United States, which means that our primary mode of communication is Google Talk.

FREE Family Event At Michaels

This coming Saturday, the craft store Michaels is hosting a FREE family event for Father's Day.  Kids can make greeting cards or postcards using their thumb- and fingerprints.  I think it's a great opportunity for military kids to make cards for deployed daddies, with plenty of time to mail the cards after the event but before Father's Day.  And all supplies will be FREE!  Heck, even if Daddy isn't deployed, it's a cute way to make him a personalized card.  Or the card doesn't even specifically have to be geared towards Dad; there are instructions on how to make gorillas, monkeys, fish, etc with your fingerprints!

If you live near a Michaels anywhere in the US, this event should be at your store.  It could be a good activity for your family this weekend.

[Full disclosure: I am employed by my local Michaels and will be working at this event.  I made the sample cards for this weekend and they are wicked cute.]