From Kid in the Candy Store to Disgraced Grown Up

My husband and I recently returned from a once-in-a-lifetime vacation. We planned our trek across Europe almost a year ago, and finally it was time for our adventure to begin. Every second of every day had been pre-planned. We knew exactly where we wanted to go and what sights we wanted to see. I was certainly looking forward to driving on the autobahn without any fear of blue lights appearing in my rear-view mirror...

One day, we decided to deviate from the plan and pop in on a military installation just because we were nearby. That's where the trouble began, and that's where I shamed myself and proved I'm unworthy of milspouse status.

Our rental car didn't have DoD stickers so, of course, we had to run the gauntlet. After we handed over our ID cards to the guards, they asked us to pull the car over, then walk back to the hut. And when we did, I was promptly presented with the ultimate slap in the face.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but your ID is not valid."

"What?" I cried. Incredulously.

"What?" My husband echoed.

"It is expired." said the guard.

"Expired," My husband and I shrieked in unison.

Impossible, we both thought.

"Yes, Expired." The guard looked confident.

"Let me see." I said, sure there was an error of some sort.

There wasn't.

The guards looked at me with disdain. Come to think of it, my husband did, too. I felt my cheeks get hot with shame and embarrassment.

"Oh, I see." I said meekly....

Every military spouse will tell you that their ID card is probably the most valuable thing in their wallet. I'd rather be without my drivers license or credit card than my ID card. It gets me on post, it allows me to shop on post, it affords me healthcare. Well, quite simply, it is the goose which keeps the golden eggs in ample supply.

All was not lost, though. I was informed I could run over to another building and have a new one issued. But to tell the truth, I could have done without the trip over. My husband used the time to ask how this could happen. Repeatedly. And he lectured me nonstop on this issue.

"Now, when we get there, I will stand behind you. You will tell the person who will issue your new card this:"

Hi, my name is Andi. I've been a military spouse for almost two decades. I know how important it is to keep up with the expiration date on my military ID card. Who doesn't? But, I have failed to do this important duty and I let my ID card expire, so that's why I'm here. My husband, er, my "sponsor," is back there. He is deeply ashamed of me. I'm ashamed of me. When we get home, I will have to write 500 times, I will never let this happen again as penance for my sin. Oh, my husband sponsor also wants to know if you could issue a card which will expire in six months. Sort of a probation period for me because he's not sure he wants to give me a full four years of golden eggs at this point.

I told my husband that this reminded me of the time when I was about nine years old. I took candy from the general store and when my mother discovered my crime, she marched me back to the store, made me confess to the store owner and ask if I could work for him to pay for my stolen candy.

My husband asked which felt worse, the humiliation that came with the discovery of, and admission to, my candy theft, or the loss of dignity which came with letting my ID card expire. Both were pretty horrifying.

So, my head is held low. I have committed an unspeakable sin and have shamed the milspouse community. Losing an ID card is one thing, and that's bad enough, but carrying around an expired card for a few months is just, well, inexcusable.

I will never let this happen again.

I will never let this happen again.

I will never let this happen again.

Three down, 497 to go.......

Comments

[Marine Wife]

well...it could happen to anyone. I'm more horrified by the fact you had to have your ID made on the spur of the moment with no chance to prepare!

[DL Sly]

Yanno...I was ready to give you a *pass* on this given what your schedule has been this year. Until this part:
"...carrying around an expired card for a few months...".
Um, a few months!
*tucks knowledge away in mental filing cabinet*
Yyyyeahhhhh, that's gonna come back to haunt you.
0>;~}

[Chuck]

Well,

At least you didn't bounce a check to your BN Commander's wife, resulting to your (then 2LT) husband having to explain to his battalion commander why the BN CDR's check cashing privileges were suspended at AAFES, which he didn't find out until he tried writing a check for lunch--at the O'Club--with the Brigade commander...

All for some pampered thief/polish pottery crap.

-Chuck

[Andi]

Well, I would point out that I've used my ID card many times since it expired, so....not sure what that says about all those folks who never caught the error. Not that I'm trying to shift the blame, though. Nah, would never dream of not taking responsibility. Never. Nope, not me......

[Andi]

Chuck - I have heard that story before. What I haven't heard was what happened when said 2LT got home..... Heh.

[MO]

I give you a pass because it happens. We always think of ourselves last. Our children to school on time, our husbands uniforms clean, bake sale done, etc. and so on, our clothes, hair, ID's etc. always on the back burner. Sounds like something I would do, then burst into tears and curse my husband for not being a lumber jack.

[Jessie]

The first thing I did after I read this story was to check my id card! It's only good for another 25 days, so I need to schedule to update it! Thanks for the reminder. :)

[Linda]

This will likely happen to me. I think it wouldn't happen so often to us "forgetful" spouses if we were allowed to get new ID's every time our husbands get promoted. Because My card says WO1, and my hubby is currently a CW3...and I have another year yet with this card. Bleh. Now...I REALIZE I'd have had to get 2 ID cards, but hey, at least they' be pretty much up to date. I will very much likely forget to get it renewed when needed.

[Bobbie Jo]

Oh my-I just laughed. sorry! I so needed that today!

Glad you were able to get it taken care of so quickly!

[Lee Anne]

I remember losing my ID card only four months into my marriage. My husband was VERY annoyed. I contend to this day that the lost ID is wedged in some cranny in my car. Three years later I'm still hoping to find it one day.

[angela]

I swear if someone tries to steal my purse I will beg them to please just let me have the ID out of it. If they do so I will tell them where I parked my car and which key will start it just please, please give me my ID.

[Chuck Z]

Luckily, we were still very much in the honeymoon phase. That I had to call her from my battalion commander's office and stay there until she went to the PX and fixed her clerical error gave me plenty of time to calm down.

Of course, having my BN CDR make fun of me for an hour didn't help. Nor did having every officer in the BN offer me a loan the next day. Nor did having lenders start calling the office after getting emails about my interest in taking out credit cards...

Honestly, I didn't get really mad over it. That's also when I dumped the budget and bills on her and told her to figure it out. She's never given them back, and we've never run out of cash since. (Of course, my toy budget is greatly reduced. And she took my Lowe's card.)

[HomefrontSix]

*can't breathe* *laughing too hard*

[Xtna]

Try dropping your ID card in the dashboard and moments later being stopped on the way OUT of the gate for an inspection and having to explain to the guard where your ID card has gone. Then explaining to hubby why he will have to explain why I didn't have my ID card as he takes the dashboard apart. Fun.

[missoldsoul]

omg i so needed to hear this right now. i just lost my card a couple of weeks ago and, being new to the military with dh in AIT currently, i had no idea what a hassle it is to get a replacement. i felt so foolish waiting in the ID office for 2 hours, followed by my pleading "but i'm his WIFE, can't you look it up in your records?", only to be told that HE needs to be there because he's my "sponsor". go figure!

[N4TheLongHaul]

Been there dont-that...My husband was in Saudi when mine expired, secret location,couldn't call him...had to wait...and I grew up a military brat...LOL me too at me !!!lol

[angela]

I can can relate to the losing a card in the dashboard. While on a move across country and of course my husband was in Iraq one of my kids dropped my debit card down a crack in the middle console. I needed that card for gas and food. We tore that console up to get that card out and it was never able to be fixed again. My husband couldn't figure out how the kids could have dropped it down such a small crack. It's kids they can do anything!!