Oh, Those Civilians!
April 10, 2009|
We all have funny (and not so funny) (and irritated) (and angry) civilian stories. How many of us have told a civilian friend about an impending deployment and been asked in all seriousness, "Can't he just say no?"
It's happened a lot.
We live in a primarily civilian community right now and it's been a bit of a sad adjustment for me to life off base. I miss many aspects of base life - the safety of my children and their ability to run around and play free range, knowing all my neighbors, and the support I got during deployments.
But yesterday I had a very interesting exchange with my civilian neighbor.
My kids and I were on our way to Holy Thursday mass when our neighbor pulled me aside. I have to admit, I was trying to break away - Daughter #2 was altar serving and we were already running a bit behind thanks to a dog issue (isn't it always a dog issue? Or a kid issue?).
The reason my neighbor pulled me aside was to ask when we planned to attend mass on Easter Sunday. You see, she wanted to use the time we were gone to hide eggs for my children in the front yard.
I was flabbergasted. She went out and bought candy filled eggs for my children? For Easter? For us? Why?
She wanted to do something nice for them. Knowing that Air Force Guy is getting ready to leave for another deployment, she wanted to do something for them - something that would help make a day to remember before Dad leaves.
And I didn't have to ask for anything. She just saw something she could do, and she chose to do it.
We do talk a lot of smack about civilians. Sometimes it does feel like no one understands us, and sometimes it does feel like no one cares.
But other times - other times I'm reminded that there are people out there who care - really care. They just need to know what they can do.
After talking to our neighbor yesterday, the world felt a little less isolated and a little more understanding. And I was reminded that there are indeed people - people who barely know us - who really do care.
That's wonderful! I wish there were more folks like that.
And I think that even though there is a lot of smack talk about civilians, often it's well deserved - like my neighbor with the snow plow on the front of his truck who used to toot and wave at me as he was driving by, as I was struggling to shovel 24" of snow. yes, toot and wave - that's so helpful.
Posted by: Michelle | 04/10/2009 at 10:36
Sounds like you have a good neighbor. I'm in a mostly civilian area, but my church has been great and the prof I work for was a Navy kid and his three sons are in the military (2 Navy and 1 Army) so he and his wife understand the life and what I go through. For me it has been a lesson to learn which civilians seem to understand a little bit and want to help, and which are just clue less and often (unintentionally I hope) say the totally wrong (and sometimes offensive) thing.
Posted by: Jessie | 04/10/2009 at 11:25
That is such a wonderful story! Thanks for sharing and reminding us of the good ones that are out there and really do want to help!
Posted by: Tucker | 04/10/2009 at 11:37
how wonderful of your neighbour! It's those gems that we hold onto , when some civilians "just toot and wave". The ones who DO shovel without being asked, who mow the grass for a deployed family, who run to the grocery store and stop by to see if they can pick up that extra gallon of milk or come by with a "hot dish".. those are the ones we remember so fondly.
LAW
Posted by: LAW | 04/10/2009 at 12:12
I guess I just don't understand how it has come about that anyone would think a neighbor should take the time out of their own life to help shovel snow, lay eggs, pick up milk, or anything else due to the fact that they are a military family. The military family is no more important than any other. Let's ALL be kind one to another and those who choose to take care of their own and not hurt others well thats o.k. too.
Posted by: GLORIA | 04/10/2009 at 12:46
we don't think it's an obligation! We are thankful for those of our neighbours who feel that they want to assist the families of deployed service members, recognizing that the service member not being there has caused difficulties for the family. I was always taught that being "neighbourly" was a good thing. If you see a person needs an assist, you give it. SHOULD, no. More important, again No. We are simply indicating thanks for someone going above and beyond. we DO take care of our own, but when we don't live in a military community, we are appreciative of our non military neighbours being... well... neighbourly.
LAW
Posted by: LAW | 04/10/2009 at 13:41
Wow, what a thoughtful lady! I'm glad you have such a nice neighbor.
Posted by: Tootie | 04/10/2009 at 16:52
Gloria, no one expects it.
But if you're going to drive around with your yellow ribbon on the back of your mini-van and go on and on about how you 'support the troops' then the least you could do is realize that often the best way to support our service men and women is to provide for their families back home, so that they can go off and do their jobs, knowing that their families are not struggling back at home.
Posted by: Michelle | 04/10/2009 at 17:46
What a lovely story, and a lovely neighbor.
Posted by: the mrs. | 04/10/2009 at 21:14
What a thoughtful thing for any neighbor to do for another, but her reason behind it sweetens the pot for certain.
It's definitely nice when someone notices when the kids might need a little pick me up & takes the initiative to make it happen.
Kind of like when someone sends someone else a Starbucks or Panera card just b/c they know the other person could use a break. :)
Posted by: Guard Wife | 04/10/2009 at 23:22
That's a great story to share! :)
I think it's wonderful when anyone decides to do something so thoughtful. :)
Posted by: Penny | 04/11/2009 at 13:06
That is so awesome. Today is my anniversary and though I didn't get any calls or contact with anyone a friend that I met through an Mommy's group put some candy and a really nice card telling me that she is jealous of how strong my relationship is(her and her husband have been seperating every couple of months) on my porch (she has a 2yr old and a 7mo old and they were sleeping in the car) and I got some comments on myspace and facebook telling me to "have a happy anniversary given the circumstances" I know they mean well but sometimes their help hurts... I never know how to approach these things.. I was born a brat and joined myself 7 years ago (no longer in) but being a wife is a very different story...
Posted by: Abby | 04/12/2009 at 01:59
I love it! So great to hear things like this.
Posted by: wifeunit | 04/13/2009 at 10:08
This is a truly lovely story. Support in any form is appreciated. I unfortunatly am unhappy this evening and need an avenue to vent. We had a large send off of National Guard hear in Fayetteville today. Over 4,000. They held a cermony at a local stadium and allowed the public to attend. The turnout was awesome and apparently higher then was expected. Family of the servicemen and woman were turned away because they had exceeded capacity. Family was told to wait in their cars and drive to green ramp, as the last precious hours to see their loved ones, to have them in the same building at least, were shared with the public/strangers instead. The fact that they turned their sendoff into a media showcase iritates me as well. Who wants to sit in a stadium and hear a bunch of civilians give speaches while your loved one sits on the complete other side of a stadium? My friends and I were there to volunteer with the USO and I just am sick about it all.
Posted by: LauraB | 04/14/2009 at 19:05
You know, it WAS a nice gesture. Not because your husband is military and is going to deploy, but because it was just a nice thing to do. Even if your husband hadn't been leaving for a deployment soon.
I think what irritates me the most about half of the military wives is that they think their life is harder than others because their spouse is gone a lot. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a military spouse myself and was an AF brat growing up so I'm not saying that it's NOT hard to watch your dad or husband leave for months. But it's a small price to pay for not having to deal with the other hardships that we don't have to deal with. Like not having medical insurance, not being able to afford rent, things of that nature that we generally take advantage of. We are no different than the wives and family of men who risk their lives for other jobs, jobs that require them to be away from their family for months and months. Yet somehow WE are in the spotlight and that irritates me. Nobody seems to think of the other jobs out there that tear families apart like our spouses jobs.
I just needed to say that, sorry. I don't mean to offend I just get tired of hearing others talk about how hard being a military wife is when it's no harder than being the wife of other professions.
Posted by: Julie | 04/16/2009 at 17:23