Retirement Waffle

It's been a meal served up in my house for months now, ever since we hit the 20 year mark back in September.  It's sometimes a dinner menu item, but more often - for no apparent reason - a meal we toss about in the mornings and, as a snack, right before bed.....

Papa Bear is retirement eligible.  The little bear cubs are all nicely settled in to the current area with schools, friends, acclamation to the area and, in the case of Migs, doctors/hospitals.  I just got a job as a civil servant.  So, what's a military family to do!?!?!?!!?!?

Today, we think we're retiring this summer.  Who knows what next week will bring.  Here's what I do know....it's not a decision to be made lightly or frequently.  They say this is one of those marriage stressor things - they are right.  It's the waffling that makes it the most difficult. I can handle almost any decision as long as it's made and I can march forward.   As with most major decisions in life - to go to college or work, to get married or not, to have a child or be happy with your family as it is - once the decision is made, it's easier.  Problem is, there are so many factors to be considered and it's so permanent.  Worse yet, it makes me feel so old! 

Chief among the issues is what does Papa Bear want to do when he grows up?  Can he match his career goals with the current job market?  And, oh heavens....the economy!?!?!?!  What are the psychological factors to retirement?  Will we be happy as retirees?!?!?!?  Is there life after Active Duty?   How do you possibly stay in a house for more than 3 years?  Must I decorate? Paint? Put up curtains?  Egads, I even have to pay attention to landscaping!!!!!!  I detest gardening.  The pressure is horrid! 

I have to concentrate on wondering if I like the friends I've made here - you know, for the long haul. We've moved so often that I never really considered making life long friends that you live in the same neighborhood/town/county with for long periods of time - and by this I mean more than three years!  What are the criteria for that?  I've always had migratory worker friends.  You know, the kind who pop in and out of your life for one assignment or another.  Fortunately, I have several that I believe I could be friends with for the long haul.  One of them is from this migratory lifestyle.  We've popped in and out of each other's life through a number of assignments.  We've just plopped down in the same area for good, I guess!  This is huge pressure for someone who's gone through her share of moves as both a brat and a spouse. 

So, my vast array of military friends, what do you think?  Are any of you on the retirement waffle meal plan?  Been there, done that, stories of support?!?

Comments

[She of the Sea]

Oh, GBear. I really feel for you. It is so hard to imagine living in the same place "forever."

We'll be here for you no matter what happens.

[airforcewife]

This whole discussion is just weird to me. "Forever Home" is such an abstract concept in my world.

[LAW]

we've got 4 years after this deployment. and I have done the inactive/Guard... so we had what we thought of as a Forever Home... since we haven't sold it yet it's a LONG forever.

I know, GBear, it's a hard one, and for me, it's an opportunity for a LIST pro/con - budget etc.

LAW

[Tucker]

I agree with LAW that it is a decision that is perfect for the pro/con list. But we only have a year and a half or so left and he is ready to be done. Not that he doesn't love the Army, but he's ready to have that forever home and have some say in what he does. We are excited, and the only waffles in our house right now are the ones we eat for breakfast!

Good luck with this big decision!

[Marine Wife]

We're not quite at the 20 year mark, but it's in sight so we've been tiptoeing around this issue too. Sometimes, it seems like it all hinges on Stretch's job satisfaction level! You're right, there are just so many factors to consider! I have zero answers for you (or myself, for that matter) so I'll just keep you in my thoughts and hope you come to a decision that you are both comfortable and happy with.

[tankerswife]

Been there, done that. Yea, Tankman was ready to get out, but I don't think even he realized how much he would miss it. His #1 reason was because he was ready to be done with being responsible for others, didn't want to lead anymore. He claimed to want to be just another of the guys. As if that were possible. First job he took was as a Shipping Supervisor in a manufacturing/warehouse environment. Lets just say that a unionized shop was probably not the best place for his first civilian job...extreme culture shock. And then he tried another route, more of an office sort of job. That one ended up becoming his first contracting position that sent him back to Iraq. He came back home for nearly a year, I was in heaven let me tell you. To date, that was the most time we had spent together in one stretch our entire courtship & marriage. Yep. The office job drove him batty. He took another job with a different contractor that sent him back again. He'll be back from that job in May. Probably for good. I hope.

Its not an easy transition, but it no worse than the reintegration from deployment. As far as jobs, check out the civil service side of things, or perhaps a contracting job (not necessarily one that sends him away). It seems to be the best of both worlds for many retirees. Keeps them in the bosum of the life they're used to, but gives them some freedom not found in the military itself.

Good luck. I have faith you'll make the best decision and all will be well.

[Susie]

Retired since 1996 and at first I think it was hard on both of us he wanted to stay home for a year and do nothing and believe me this isn't a good thing I said oh no! School a part time job and go and finish college best thing I ever said Saint Leo on base great Thanks Saint Leo bachelor's degree in management several job later he is I hope settled for a long time of course we moved in 2006 and 2007 to Atlanta, Ga from Va Beach, Va It is hard on both of you to start Civilian life but there are those who can easily and those who can't. I think its what he did in the Military that has a lot to do with his transition. Spouses on the other hand have been in transition all our life. Even though I never moved for 21 years he was in when we met.I had moved around with my parents dad was a Land Engineer. And I had had enough moving as a child. This Military life is hard enough with out moving every time you turn around. My heart breaks for all you who are still in the service 26 years my husband was in service to our country and I was always third in his life and still guess I am. I've been ask if I could do it over would I marry a man in the service and I couldn't answer until now and the answer is no I would never marry a military man The letter I receive from the white house after retirement could not possible make up for all I went through. Hope this is some insight to civilian life it will happen and remember when one door closes another will surely open. God Bless All!