Preparing For Deployment: Their List, and Ours
January 12, 2009|
A soldier offers his "How to Prepare for Deployment" list. What about the homefront? Well, we need to get ready, too. If you want to prepare for a deployment, really, really prepare, there are a few things you can do to get ready.
1. Drop your spouse off and have an emotional good-bye. Have him call you an hour later to tell you to come pick him back up. Repeat four times.
2. Have someone disconnect a few wires under the hood. Slashing a tire would be a great touch, too. Make sure that it's very late at night for maximum effect.
3. Take a chainsaw to the hot water heater. It'll prepare you for things to come. Trust me.
4. Call someone in a remote village buried deeply in a country 15,000 miles away and try to carry on a conversation with them through the crackling phone line.
5. If there's someone you would love to get a call from, make arrangements for them to call. They should absolutely, positively make sure the call comes the one time you leave the phone in the car. Because it will happen.
6. Release one or more bats, rats, or other unattractive creatures in the house.
7. Begin eating breakfast at noon, lunch at 7:00 in the evening and dinner at 3:00 in the morning. Or, begin eating breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast. The point is, start doing weird things.
8. Consider NoDoze, or equivalent. It will help your body prepare to stay awake during the entire deployment.
9. Buy some airtime on your local television station. Announce to the entire town that your spouse is deploying. This will allow you to get the pity-party out of the way all at once.
10. Prepare for people to suddenly become inquisitive about you and your life. How do you feel about cages?
11. Know that things will change, and rapidly, they always do (see #12).
12. Have a friend or family member arrange to come see you. On the day they should arrive, have them call and say they've been delayed. Better yet, have them contact you through a third party to relay the news. Repeat this process 22 times. This will help you prepare for the redeployment date.
13. Choose to laugh, even when it's hard. The alternative just isn't a good option....
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Very nice post Andi! I really enjoyed that post on The Sandbox, I'm sure a lot of other SpouseBuzz readers will get a kick out of it as well.
Posted by: loquita | 01/12/2009 at 12:07
Oh, this is so perfect! I LOVE it! It's so true!
Posted by: airforcewife | 01/12/2009 at 12:14
Lol.. This was perfect! I've actually been doing #7 for the past week too the eating breakfast at noon and lunch at night one, no tv station calling here ^_~
Posted by: Penny | 01/12/2009 at 12:21
Don't forget to start checking your email and the mailbox for letters even though you know you'll be disappointed, but just in case...
Posted by: Marine Wife | 01/12/2009 at 13:25
OMG I LMAO'd the entire time I was reading it. I needed this right now, thank you!
Posted by: MO | 01/12/2009 at 14:14
Take a drive. When you get within one mile of your house, take a deep breath and hold it. Do not exhale until you pull in the driveway. Good practice for the 'worst case scenario' (yes, I held my breath each and every time I turned down my street. I was terrified I'd find an 'official' car waiting at the curb of my house).
Posted by: HomefrontSix | 01/12/2009 at 15:18
Oh my goodness. when my DH left nothing broke and I was so grateful I thought I had escaped that one! Then he came home from R&R an I gave birth to our first child. As soon as he left, literally the very day, and I was alone with a newborn things started to go wrong, Things breaking left and right. This went on for three weeks. Every day! I thought I was going to lose it.
Posted by: Becky | 01/12/2009 at 20:28
And remember, ladies, when he returns, he's going to think that HE'S the one who had a hardship tour!
(As my wife related to me, that's exactly what the Chaplain told the wives before we came home from our Med cruise.)
Posted by: Rex | 01/12/2009 at 21:53
My husband just left on Friday and guess what?!! We got a foot of snow. I finally get that cleaned up and now we are getting it again! Tomorrow is followed by -40 degree windchills and then more snow!
I love how the day that he left people were calling me all day asking how I was doing and if I wanted to do something. I wanted to say to them: You don't really want to know how I am doing and will you still be here in 3 months asking me if I want to do something?
If one more person asks me how I am doing or how I do it I am going to freaking scream!
I should have rented the airspace on TV so I could get the pity party out of the way all at once...
This post was great! It is SO true!!!
Posted by: Beth | 01/12/2009 at 22:23
Eagerly awaiting this sort of stuff!
Posted by: Erin | 01/12/2009 at 23:03
Did I miss the inlaws on that list somewhere? Thinking that you don't do enough for their son. If they see you upset they write him a letter saying you are unable to raise kids alone. If you keep it together his sister coming up to you telling you that you must not really love her brother since you don't cry every minute of the day. 13 years of being married to him and giving him 3 kids and yet she thinks I don't love him enough. The constant stress of knowing that if your husband tells his mother something first she will throw it up in your face that he didn't tell you. Next deployment I think I am moving and not giving inlaws my new address. It didn't matter how I acted someone was always there to tell me it was the wrong way to act. Gets tiring after a while.
Posted by: angela | 01/13/2009 at 09:37
yes, and when all else fails, have a really good cry and THEN remind yourself no.news.is.good.news.'cause.bad.news.travels.FAST. repeat as often as needed.
Posted by: Some Soldier's Mom | 01/13/2009 at 14:05
Thanks so much for that list. My husband just deployed last week and that list makes so much sense! We have been married for 6 months and have known since last year that he would be deploying. I definitely havent been eating meals at the right time. And its a miracle if I eat 2 or 3. I really do feel like taking an ad out on tv and telling the whole world he is depolyed and that I feel alone. His first few calls were horrible. I could barely hear him but I didnt have the heart to tell him. Now its a little better but hes still not where he is going to end up so who knows how the phones will be there.
I called a friend a few days ago who is a non-milspouse. I told her my husband deployed and that its a wierd horrible feeling to know that he has left. Everyday so far I wake up and cry and then try to find something in the house to take up my time. I dont think I have realized he is not going to just suddenly show up at the house. Half way through our conversation she asked how long he is deployed for. I told her a year and she was shocked. Then she asked why i cant move to where he is. I felt like hanging up on her. I couldnt believe she doesnt realize that mil families are separated and that spouses cannot go to a combat zone and live with thier DHs. At that point I wanted to get on tv and yell at everyone who doesnt understand what it means when a soldier deploys.
I am definitely grateful I have found this site. Im sure I'll be posting quite a lot on here. I moved 2 months ago to live with my husband before he deployed and now Im here by myself. It seems completely surreal and I keep thinking about picking him up at the airport in July for his r&r. I had to shovel the snow for the first time yesterday and after I walked in the house and cried. For the last 2 months my husband has been doing that and I had taken it for granted. I was so exhausted both mentally and physically after the hour I spent outside that I dread the next few days of snow.
My husband has been talking a lot lately about us having children and him being able to drop his retirement papers in about 5 years. I didnt understand until he left. The military life is hard and to survive its important to laugh, enjoy simple quiet moments together and to look forward to the future and all its happiness.
Posted by: CopingArmyWife | 01/14/2009 at 15:48
CopingArmyWife - Welcome to the sisterhood!
Sounds like a cliche, but trust me, it does get easier. Better put, you WILL figure out which coping mechanisms work for you.
You said:
"The military life is hard and to survive its important to laugh, enjoy simple quiet moments together and to look forward to the future and all its happiness."
A great attitude which will serve you well.
I'm glad you found SpouseBUZZ, too. Keep on comin' back. We look forward to you joining in on the conversation around these parts.
Posted by: Andi | 01/14/2009 at 20:44
CopingArmyWife: When my husband deployed, I was in Alaska with 2 kids and a cat. The first time I had to go out and shovel, it took almost 2 hours, and my son told me we were 2 hours closer to daddy coming home. I thought that was great advise from a 5 year old!
Everyone's situation is different during deployment, I know, but I volunteered for lots and lots of stuff on post; killed a lot of time for me.
As to the post, though, GREAT! Love it! (Lived most of it :)
Posted by: JennH | 01/14/2009 at 21:29
I will soon be in this position due to the fact that my fiance's unit is getting deployed in August.
This will be the first time since we've been together for going on three years that we have been separated with so much distance.
But hopefully I'll be able to cope since we are apart now that I'm attending school in another state while he is working on base.
Posted by: RITArmyWife | 01/15/2009 at 17:44
Great list! Every frustrating little bit of it so true...
Posted by: MaryBeth @ Four Silly Sisters | 01/15/2009 at 21:38
my hubby is navy :) and is getting ready for a dirt sailor trip to Iraq for almost a year. He leaves soon and I feel like I'm just getting more and more upset with him ...over stupid stuff. Part of me wants him to leave already so I can start missing him and part of me wants him to never have to go. lol I find it's easier during the deployment than the few weeks leading up to it. The prep list is def a must have lol I'm trying right now to get all my dental care in before he leaves lol imagine getting a root canal while holding your 16 month old and the 5 yr old singing in the corner lmao :)
Posted by: mommacrstl | 01/19/2009 at 23:27
Erin: I totally understand about the whole inlaw thing...mine are driving me nuts!!! I would get an apartment, but we are paying DH's mom's mortgage, and if the kids & I got an apartment, she'd lose her house...ARGH!!! And the worst part is, she is constantly telling me that I am raising my kids wrong. Granted, she's a single mom but she never dealt with military issues before---EVER! And she tried to tell me that while DH is my husband, that he is also HER son, and the brother to her other kids. I had to bite my tongue in order to tell her that it's a totally different relationship between husband and wife, than it is between siblings, or mother and child! Sometimes I just want to scream!!!
Posted by: skylerz_mom | 02/25/2009 at 21:15
I mean, in order to keep from telling her that...
Posted by: skylerz_mom | 02/25/2009 at 21:17