Not Relaxing
January 27, 2009|
My husband is on block leave right now. At first we planned to visit family, but who wants to drive towards bad weather in January? We decided to wait for spring or summer. Then we thought we might use the time to go visit friends, but we realized that this would've put us traveling into D.C. on Inauguration Day. Bad idea. Eventually we just decided to stay home.
My husband and I are both homebodies. We don't particularly like to travel, or go to the movies, or go out to restaurants. We both like being at home. And after deployment, we both thought that what my husband needed was relaxation. No stress of driving 18 hours to get to his parents' house. No exhausting vacation plans. Just him, a few beers, and the TV remote.
What I didn't count on was how much time that would leave him to think...
My husband is in one of those unique jobs in the Army that deploys no matter what's going on in the world, and frequently. I shock-blogged that we learned about his next deployment while he still had six months left on the one he was on! When his unit got home last month from this deployment, they immediately started planning for the next one, even before block leave started.
The bad thing about setting aside our block leave for relaxation and laziness is that my husband won't stop thinking about work. Any time he's quiet for more than two minutes, I know he is already stressing about everything that needs to be done before they leave again. He is mentally working himself through training schedules and leadership strategies.
He is not relaxing.
I sincerely did not expect this when I suggested that we just stay home for leave. Perhaps if we were at his parents' house or in D.C. or at Disneyworld he would have less time to fret. Our plan backfired a little bit, in a way I didn't foresee.
I will keep this in mind the next time I think that staying home will be relaxing.
Ugh, sorry to hear that Sarah! At least the next time he deploys, I'll be there! ;) I understand what you're saying though - when I'm out there DH won't stop talking about the deployment and what's going on and I just want to tell him to sack it for a minute! Let's enjoy our time together!
Posted by: Erin | 01/27/2009 at 20:57
Well, that just really stinks. I'm sorry. It's not just about relaxation for him but also time for y'all to reconnect. I hope you guys are at least enjoying each other despite his stress.
Posted by: Sara | 01/28/2009 at 21:41
I know what you mean. My hubby is in the AF and he has deployed once a year for the past 6 years and set to leave again in the spring. We just PCSed to a new base (the first ever for me) and we wanted to make this a new start, get away from all the stress and frustration of the old base and get back to working on our marriage...but since he is leaving again in a few months it has turned back to being the same old routine of getting stressed about the deployment and everything that goes into preparing for it. Seems as though you make a committment to change the way things are going the military always has a different suggestion for you. Although we all know this as a fact I still tend to get my hopes up sometime for them always to be shot down. Oh well, got to learn to roll with the punches huh?
Posted by: Rachel | 01/29/2009 at 01:27
I know what you mean. My hubby is in the AF and he has deployed once a year for the past 6 years and set to leave again in the spring. We just PCSed to a new base (the first ever for me) and we wanted to make this a new start, get away from all the stress and frustration of the old base and get back to working on our marriage...but since he is leaving again in a few months it has turned back to being the same old routine of getting stressed about the deployment and everything that goes into preparing for it. Seems as though you make a committment to change the way things are going the military always has a different suggestion for you. Although we all know this as a fact I still tend to get my hopes up sometime for them always to be shot down. Oh well, got to learn to roll with the punches huh?
Posted by: Rachel | 01/29/2009 at 01:28
I was thinking about this but in terms of R&R for us. I wanted to go to DisneyWorld since he's never been before but thought it might be too busy for him hehe..
Our tenative plans are to visit his family, so I'm going to line up a few things for us to do while he's there. As much as I want to joyfully be with him, I don't want to sit at home counting down the minutes until he's gone again. (which I admit I did before)
Maybe y'all can go visit surrounding areas just to get out of the house. It may not seem like much, but it helps :) I know what you mean about the Army planning things ahead of time, we're barely into this deployment and there are talks of an (another!) extension >_<
Posted by: Penny | 01/30/2009 at 08:54
There is always room at my house and, as an added bonus, we will apparently for the foreseeable future also have snow to shovel! If that isn't enough to keep hubby's mind occupied - we have about a billion projects to do around the house! Yes, a visit to see the Bear household will be filled with activities to keep the mind occupied and the body tired! You could even try to pick up where my sister left off with knitting lessons - although that may be too much of a stress additive!
Posted by: GBear | 01/31/2009 at 06:27
Washington DC on inauguration day. Yeah, you made a wise decision.
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