Excruciating

I am currently at that excruciating part of deployment called The End.  You know what I mean, where the FRG calls and says they're going to be home on Tuesday at lunch, so you get dressed and get excited, and then it's Tuesday evening, then Wednesday morning, then late Wednesday night, then maybe Thursday afternoon...

It's like telling a little kid, "We're going to open Christmas presents today!  No, tonight!  No, maybe tomorrow!  No, tomorrow night!"

This is miserable.  I know it happens to lots of people, but it didn't happen to us last deployment so I was not really mentally prepared for it.  And naturally I took these days off work, so I am sitting here burning up the time I was supposed to be spending with my husband.

I just want my Christmas present to get here already!

Comments

[ArmyReserveWife]

Sarah~I am so very excited for you and your hubby!! Merry Christmas!!

[Kel]

That is something i call the yo-yo affect.. they dangle it there and yank it back... I hope it hurries up for you though.. Goodluck and enjoy your Holidays together.

[Ramie]

I've been there so many times...you'd think it would hurt less each time, but it never does. And it seems to get worse...waiting stinks. But, he'll be home soon....Happy Holidays!!

[Ann - AF spouse]

DEJA VU. One time, his arrival "slipped" about 4 times. Fri, then Sat, then Sunday, by Monday morning, afternoon....That night I was at an awards ceremony for my son, my cell rang, "We landed, where are you?" "I left the car out front, keys in the glove box. The color guard just started, see you in a couple of hours." Always flexible

[Kimberly]

I'm sorry girly- I'm sure he'll be home soon!

[Reality Check]

We are just at the beginning stages of my husband's first deployment. All I can say is when I know the long haul is over, I think the end should be a pice of cake. I mean after so many months, does a few days even matter?

[Guard Wife]

Reality Check,
In short, uh...yeah. Once you have what is considered to be a date/time certain, any delay or a whiff of a delay will pull you right over the edge that you've will inevitably be teetering on by the end of your deployment.
I'm sure when I started my first deployment, I thought the same thing & I was shocked when I literally screamed into the phone to the FRG leader (who had called me THREE time in a 24 hour period with changes that changed and then changed and then went back to the original time frame) to not call me again until she had eyes on my husband...
Not trying to sound harsh, but it's hard to check a reality you haven't lived through yet. What you think will be a piece of cake can literally suck the air from your lungs and make you wish you could curl up in a ball until it's over.

[airforcewife]

Everyone's different of course, but those few days matter to me.

They matter because it's the most important thing in your life, and you have no control over it. You make your plans, your plans get changed. You take time off work, that time passes and you don't even get to spend it with your spouse. Everything is on hold and it feels like it's never going to end.

The routines that you built up to make the deployment go by don't work anymore because you HAVE no routine, it's all wait. Hurry up and wait.

It truly is excruciating, particularly when you don't have any contact with your spouse and are only hearing updates through others.

You can't pack up CARE packages, you can't write letters to send. People call to talk to him and he's not home yet.

Psychologically it is pretty difficult for many people. It was for me, and I had an unheard of experience with only ONE delay the first deployment and no delay the second!

It does seem on the surface like the last part would be a cake-walk, but for me it was the hardest part. I just couldn't believe it would ever end.

[angela]

When my husband was coming home he called and said he would be home in around 2 weeks. Just as soon as I got off the phone a lady called and said my husband's plane would be landing the next day and gave me a time to pick him up. I never told her I knew otherwise I just asked her if she was sure. She assured me she knew for a fact he was on that plane and his name was listed and to pick him up. I didn't show up I knew he wasn't there. They never called back with the real time either. My husband called from Ireland saying when he would be back. Bugs me how nobody ever knows whats going on. One lady was at the airport and said she got so many wrong date calls that she just started going to the airport everyday just in case he showed up. Her husband was on the same flight as mine so I was glad for her.

[Kellee]

I agree that those extra days are so stressful for the families and as much as we wish this was an exact science it isn't. Airplanes break down all the time, weather this time is unpredicatable...but remember most of the time your FRG and your key callers are not to be blamed for bad info, they are getting it from rear D and must get out the information they have..Mistakes happen we are all human. Have a wonderful reunion when it "finally" happens.

[mschoony]

I just found this video all about how just $1 donation can really help military families. It’s so true, I hope everyone watches this and can help. We deserve to thank the troops for all they’ve done.

http://herodollar.com/

[liberal army wife]

I waited for what we call the Leprechaun call - then figured I knew it was serious when I got the Lobster roll call. Course no one could give us a REAL date/time.

LAW

[Erin]

I'm coming to town, is that good enough? ;)

[afwife & momma of 2.75]

I just wanted to say I came across this blog and almost immediately added it to my bookmark toolbar. I will be checking back often, I'm sure, as we've gotten word that, after 4 yrs together and 5 1/2 active duty years for him, with my DH's new job comes 6 months on/6 months off deployments, set to start next June-ish. And that's after him being gone mid-March through mid-May for training. He's currently AWACS, which is what I was before I got out to be momma. And if anybody knows anything about AWACS, they don't deploy very much. Except now he won't be AWACS. And he'll deploy. A lot. And I used to know what he would be doing, if he did go. Cause that's what I used to do. But now I don't. And that stinks. Especially since the new stuff is "classified" and so is his deployment locale. And that stinks too. And I know I've been lucky that we've been active duty almost 4 yrs together and didn't have to suffer through a deployment. But now we will and for all my "advantage" of being prior service and feeling like I understood a little better than non-prior spouses, I have no idea....about any of it.
sigh
Sorry, I rambled a little. Long story not really short, I discovered your blog and just wanted to let you know I think it's awesome and I will definitely be using it to help me through the coming year. Hope your man gets back real soon. Thank him for me for doing what he does and thank you for what you do. Merry Christmas!!

[Kel]

this last deployment he had his day to land changed 4 times before i finally got the call... The 1st deployment was on time no delay we are int he hangar waiting they are 20 minutes out gets announced so everyoen runs out to the fence at 6am.. well it was so foggy they couldnt land so after standing there for 45 min i went to our Rear D and asked where are they.. "due to fog and circling on fumes they were diverted to Nashville, we are sending buses to go get them itll be abotu 2 more hours so you can go home" so we pack up and go back home.. then the fog clears so i decide to head back over again and get there as they are wheels on ground!.. talk about a close one..

[Kristen]

I HATED the last month. It was the slowest part of his deployment, and the most frustrating. So happy because he was coming home, but also nerve wracking (what if something happened JUST BEFORE he got to come home? what if the date kept changing? why do I have to wait even LONGER? why can't this month hurry up? etc.).

Nothing to say but argh. :) (Of course, it's a really good pain. So, there is that.)

[newby107]

i know the feeling i sat here thinking my husband would arrive 12/23 was all excited until i found out late that evening that he infact was not arriving til sometime christmas eve. Now i wasn't suppose to take that day off of work but look if i had to choose between my job & making sure my husband arrives safe....GUESS WHAT LADIES & GENTS!?!?!... im choosing my husband. YEAH I LOVE HIM THAT MUCH. THIS WHOLE BEING A MILITARY SPOUSE IS ALL NEW TO ME. NOT EASY AT ALL BUT IT'S WORHT THE STRUGGLE OF KEEPING IT TOGETHER. AND AS FOR MY JOB..WELL! I WENT IN YESTERDAY AND AFTER MY BOSS CHEWED ME OUT ABOUT MAKING MY HUSBAND A PRIORITY...INSTEAD OF EXPLODING ON HIM AND CALLING HIM OUT HIS NAME. I SAID YOUR RIGHT SIR WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE. WALKED OUT CAME HOME AND LAYED NEXT TO MY HUSBAND. THATS! IT!...LOL..GUESS WHAT ELSE?...IM HAPPY!