Seeking Seasoned Milspouses

Shortly after my husband gets home from deployment, he will be heading off to SERE school.  After conversations with people who have gone through the school, I am a little freaked out.  In fact, I have been made to feel more nervous about our reintegration after SERE school than I am about the one coming up at the end of this deployment.

Have any of you welcomed your spouses home from SERE school?  Is it as bad as people have been telling me?  Any advice you'd pass along would be appreciated.

Comments

[amy]

My husband has been to two SERE schools. Honestly there was nothing strange after he went......he did say it was the best school he has ever attended while in the Navy. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun I am sure, but he learned alot of valuable tools to aid him if he would ever BE in that situation.

He came home tired, hungry and sore.....

With some good rest he was fine!

I am sure your husband will be fine too

[Leofwende]

My husband went to SERE school before I knew him. From what I've heard, he lost a little weight, didn't sleep much, and learned a lot. Also from what I've heard from him, it sounded like he actually rather enjoyed it. But like I said, that was several years before I met him, so...I dunno much about the reintegration part.

[Jen]

My husband was tired, sore, skinny and quiet. He said it was the most valuable training that he's ever had, but it really made him think. He didn't really want to talk about it, but he wasn't weird and reintegration wasn't a big deal. He just wanted to sleep and eat!!

Like all reunions, I think just letting him set the tone is key. Good luck!

[HomefrontSix]

MacGyver did the scaled down version of SERE for aviators and came home tired, hungry, and horny >;P He had lost about 11 pounds but gained it all back in less than a week. Other than that, he had no reintegration issues.

[Sarah]

Thank you! I was hearing that he would come home a mental wreck and wouldn't want to see me for about two days after he got home. That doesn't sound like my husband, so I am glad to hear from you guys that I perhaps don't need to worry so much.

[navywifesarah]

i wouldn't worry! i haven't experienced deployments yet, but my husband went through sere right after we got married, and he was just skinny and exhausted when he got out.

[shoshiebeth]

My husband went through SERE and came home more patriotic than ever.

Unfortunately, it caused him to miss a space shuttle landing (he was locked up in solitary confinement while I watched a space shuttle come in), but he learned things that could save his life and the lives of others.

I think he found the training both valuable and thought-provoking. If anything, it will make your husband a better airman.

[Whitney]

The only thing that happened after my husband came home from SERE was that he was hungrier than usual.

He came home a bit skinnier and a whole lot more tired, but really he didn't have too bad of a time.

Although I did get a surprise doing laundry when I found a bunch of nuts in the dryer. I asked him why he had them and he stated "what did you think I ate?" Haha. Live and learn.

DH missed the most recent presidential election while at SERE, so he had to catch up on all of that. But really, that was about it.

[Erin]

My husband is attending SERE school right now. I am a little worried too, just because I don't like the thought of people hitting him! But from what I have heard from others mimics the above comments, he will be hungry and tired but otherwise unscathed. I hope??

[Ramie]

My husband went thru SERE when we had only been married about a year. He's always talked about it being grueling, but not in a bad way....in a way that forced him to learn things he'd never have thought he might need. He lost alot of weight (so much that his wedding ring fell off after they gave it back to him, and he lost it). He's never went into much detail about the training they actually did, but I know he was sore when he left (although I didn't see him for several weeks, so I can't say how sore).

I don't think reintergration will be much of an issue, or at least I hope it won't. I know that he WILL learn things that he may someday need to know (hopefully not) and that its a great school for what it is. Good luck to him and to you...it's reassuring to know (after its done) that they have the skills to survive if needed.

[Jessie]

my fiance is about to attend SERE school and his brother did it earlier this year. His bro came back tired and skinny. My fiance is already a stick, so I'm hoping he doesn't lose too much weight, but I'll be praying for him like crazy, so I figure he will survive. Knowing his personality I think he will probably need some space once he returns, but it helps knowing his brother did well!

[Laura]

My husband went thru Sere School after several years of being told he would, so the anticipation had built up the experience to unkown levels, but it didn't go as bad as expected. He came home sore, hungry, and tired. He told me of eating some really weird things, such as racoon, snake, and flying squirrel. Ughhhh, was my comments. He wanted to eat constantly, Mexican food of all things. He did talk quite a bit about those things he could discuss, but it was his decision to talk. I followed his lead and tried not to push. Patience is the name of the game with deployments, seperations, information he can't share, and SERE school exposure.
Good luck with his being gone, and returning. Remember support, love, and patience can take you both a long way.

[Lyndsi]

My husband also went thru the school...and as most of the other women on here, he came home skinny and tired, but the same guy that left came home. Just like deployments...Good luck to you and your husband.

[Nicole]

My husband went through SERE school earlier this year. We had moved to our new location less than 2 days earlier clear across the country. I worried about him tremendously because I had heard from friends and flight instructors what it was like. I anticipated the best and prepared for the worst for when he came home. Some of our friends needed a day or two to just get out of the "mode"...my husband was fine. I picked him up at the airport and I think he was just relieved to be home. He was tired and hungry with a little bruising, but nothing else. After a few days of relaxation, he was back to his ol' self. I just made sure I supported him, loved and and had patience in case he needed a little extra time to readjust! Good luck to your husband and you!

[Amy]

My husband will be heading to SERE in about a year as well. I'm glad I got to read all of your comments! I had already been a little worried about it too from the things I've heard. Sounds like (knowing his personality) he might actually enjoy it as long as he looks for the best in the situation. He's pretty small already so I also hope he doesn't loose too much weight. However, it definitely will help with the reunion if he wants quite a bit of his favorite meals! :o) Good luck to you and your husband as well!

[Melissa]

My husband went thru SERE last year. He came home very tired and looked famished. He did have some nightmares for the first 2 nights and everything made him a little jumpy. We just took things slow and when he was ready to tell me about his experience, he did. I could tell it hit home with him since he is very patriotic. I suggest you give him a little time to reintegrate, don't move too fast with touching, no loud noises or yelling, and don't probe too much. When he is ready to share his experience with you, he will. God Bless!

[Sarah]

Thank you all for your insight. I am much more relaxed after reading all of your comments. My husband told me there is nothing to worry about...I suppose I will listen to him!

[Brooke]

My husband went to SERE a little over a year ago. He came home 15 pounds lighter, hungry, and tired. The biggest problem he had was that he took one beating which ruptured his ear drum. Although, while that sucks, I don't know if you can call it a problem because he got to delay some water survival training and that made him happy :-).Also, like someone else mentioned, he had nightmares for a few nights and was a little jumpy but beyond that we didn't have any problems. In fact the biggest problem was ME. He would toss and turn and cry out during his nightmares and it kept me awake so I chose to sleep on the couch for 2 nights! I'm sure your husband will be fine. Just be prepared for him to look different and possibly be a bit jumpy for a day or 2, but beyond that he should be fine. My husband jokes about it now. If we're outside and he sees a slug, berry, nut or something like that on the ground, he'll say "oh look! food!" Good luck :-)

[Krista]

My husband went through SERE this year and he had somewhat of a hard time with it. He was fine with me and we had no problems getting back into the swing of things. However, he did experience nightmares as others have said but also auditory hallucinations. According to the staff psychologist (it should tell you how serious this training is that they have one on staff) that is totally normal. They will be briefed on what to expect after going through the training and will be encouraged to share all that information with you. One of the hardest things for my husband was not being able to tell me about everything he went through since a lot of it was covered by the non-disclosure agreement he signed. Hope this helps.

[HouseKeeping]

I work as a maid at the hotel on base that all your SERE husbands stay at. I get to talk to them all during their school process and truthfully it doesn't sound as bad as they make it out to be. They may have to eat slugs and survive the wilderness for a week and go through what one of them described as "the beating phase" (no, I don't believe they actually get beaten up. I have seen no black eyes) They all seem happy and fine when all is said and done. Though I'm sure it is more rough for some than others depending on their personality type and all that but remember gals, they go through all this hard training so that they can make it back to you if something should happen when they are deployed. I hear them say it is very rough, hard and even annoying at times but the worst I've seen when they return from what I believe is the hardest part of it all is they sleep for two days straight because they have a nice, clean, warm bed to sleep in again, not a cold, hard, snowy ground.

[Shehla]

My husband went through it back in 1995 or 96. He was in the tank, waterboarded and like everyone else says - came home tired, hungry, horny. Otherwise, he was fine. Keep in mind that this training is to help them in the event of... It is important that they take it seriously and it gets engrained in them. My hubby was worse (and that isn't even bad) after war than SERE school. He's now a teeth grinder, snorer, and slightly agoraphobic.

[Crystal]

I will echo what alot of the spouses have said. My husband did it earlier this year and honestly the main thing when he got home was the weird sleeping, a few nightmares but the most noticeable was high irritability over small things. Less patience etc. They will give your spouse a list of psychological and other side effects to give to you when he gets home or at least thats what the AF Sere did. Main thing that specifies is if symptoms last for more than 2 weeks- irritability, depression, sleeping problems to talk to someone on base for help. Hope this helps :)

[Krista]

They may not get "beaten up" with the typical black eyes, bruises, etc. But they do get shoved around and roughed up.