Lactation, Navy Style

SpouseBUZZ reader and milspouse blogger Marine Wife, has entered into an essay contest at Get the Gouge.  Her story, Lactation, Navy Style can be found here. Voting ends today. If you want to vote for Marine Wife, go to the right-hand sidebar and scroll down towards the bottom to find her story, then click vote.

Good luck, Marine Wife! 

Did You Know?

TRICARE-Medicare Questions Answered
Head-to-Head Comparison of the Old and New GI Bills
Moving Again? Earn Cash and Help the Goodwill
Military.com Classifieds: Motorcycles for Sale
Flu Season is Coming, Get Prepared
Combating Childhood Obesity
Dry Pet Food Recalled
Army-Navy Game Ticket Sweepstakes
Education Program Rewards Good Grades
Fort Lee Recalls Ground Beef
Free High School Test Preparation Programs
Keeping Your Child Safe Online
Protecting Yourself from Foreclosure
TRICARE Nurse Advice in Europe
Policy Change for Replacing ID Cards
Saving the Tomb of the Unknowns
More Compensation for TBI and Burn Vets
Free YMCA Memberships for Guard, Reserve
AF Launches Website
Parents Track Grades Online
USO Golf Tourney and Live Webathon
American Red Cross Aids Servicemembers
Family Assistance Program Goes off Base
Army Services Changes Name

Heavy Chats

This evening while my husband and I were instant messaging, I had a surreal thought.  I realized that we have saved IMs of conversations that a husband and wife should never have to have via typing.  We have chats filled with sadness over the miscarriage I had back in June, and the one before it.  We have chats about our fears for the next pregnancy.  And now that I have started fertility treatments and am trying to get pregnant here without him, we have chats about what we will feel if this doesn't work...or if it works like crazy and we end up with three babies.

We have some pretty heavy chats.

And part of me just finds this fundamentally sad, that we have to use such an impersonal method to discuss some of the most emotional and intimate aspects of our life.  It's the nature of being a military family these days, and most of the time I just IM away without really thinking about it, but as we were chatting today and kinda re-living some of the moments in the emergency room last year, I just had the thought that this really should be a conversation we get to sit on the same sofa for.

But at least we have the IM so we can have the conversation at all.

Stretching the Military Dollar

Challenging economic times, no? Looking for ways to make the most of the military dollar? If so, head on over to a great new site which offers sensible tips for military families.

The military money experience is unique and challenging. The Paycheck Chronicles is here to help with daily tips on the special financial situations of military servicemembers and their families.

Good stuff....

Perspective

There are times when we all need a good dose of perspective.   Times when all we can think about is how big our problems are and how insurmountable they seem to be. 

And when you get it, it's like a punch in the gut.  A punch, by the way, that you welcome through tears of pride.

Urraahh, Devil Dogs. 

What is success?

I was reading an article this morning on the success of reintegration, reunion, and the transition of Military families.

How does one measure "sucess in reintegration?"

My Prized Possession: The Single Letter

After reading Sarah's blog post about letter writing, or lack thereof, I was reminded of something. When we spoke with Mrs. Casey, I mentioned that my husband wrote exactly one letter during his last deployment. I received tons of email and many cards, but as for letters - one. I was okay with that because my husband is not a letter writer, never has been. Everyone's situation is different and some spouses have more access to computers than others. As for me, I could hardly complain about communication because on most days, I got an email, and most weeks, a phone call.

Through children's eyes

Do you have any gems little kids have said about something related to their parent's military  service?

I know Sarah posted a request for some stories almost a year ago, but hopefully we have some more readers ready to share and bring some smiles.

Looking back over my posts during Seadaddy's IA deployment in order to get ready and calm my nerves for Spousebuzz Live Norfolk, I came across something I had almost forgotten my stepdaughter shared.

Timing is everything

The email notice flashed into a pop-up window on my monitor and I thought, yep, it's that time -- let's get the keys and head over to the Support Center.

An evening ago, or maybe two or three, I wandered into our Family Support Center with the intent to sit in the corner and listen to the discussion from new-to-the-military husbands and wives, as they try to learn a bit more about those things available to them on our installation. 

I'm spotted and asked if I too, could make an impromptu presentation about the virtual world we're in (me?  discuss virtual worlds?  I'm like, of the last century, you know?) and maybe a bit about this phenomenon we all know and love, called SpouseBUZZ.  It was a great evening, and maybe later, we can talk about some of my observations and about how many folks I put to sleep ....

But when it was over and as I was backing out of parking to head home ... the most unexpected thing happened ...

I'm in the "new kid" phase

Today, Lancelot's battalion held a family day.  We had bouncies, a small train, a cotton candy machine, BBQ, a Family Team Building booth and guns.  LOTS of guns.  Just another glorious day in the Corps my friends.  Wives, girlfriends and moms lined up to shoot the various guns on the ranges.  So many that those charged with monitoring the ranges were grinning from ear to ear with pride at how these ladies took to shooting.  I thought it was cool too.

The family day was a little weird for me because I am the new kid on the block.  Lancelot is in a leadership position so there's a bit of curiousity about me.  Am I a witch?  Am I a goody two shoes?  I think I am something in between the two but I have things to prove to our unit, I guess...

"What doesn't kill you, ..."

There's a "sister" in our family who is battling the big C.  Sometimes the day is good, she feels great, and for that moment, she's winning; and then there are times she understands it's okay to simply play to a draw in her strategic battle.  All the time she knows her number could be up tomorrow or the next day or the next week ... but always, even after a bad day at chemo, she musters the resolve to utter this phrase -- "What doesn't kill you, has to make you stronger."  And on goes the mascara, she dresses to the 9's, and off she goes.

Since I seem to be more inclined to be the pragmatist rather than philosopher, I presumed she was referring to the lethal drugs they were putting into her body in measured doses.  What I didn't understand, was how she was really referring to life ...

Army Wives: For General Discussion

I've been traveling and otherwise occupied for the last four weeks. Ugh! That means that I have four episodes - four - of Army Wives to catch up on before the new episode airs on Sunday. Sorry for the slow down in the discussion threads this season, it's been a bit crazy around here.

So, for now, I'll open this thread for general discussion about Army Wives and the last few episodes. Feel free to chime in about the overall direction of the show, or specific episodes. All in all, are you happy with season two and how would you compare it to the first season?

I probably won't read the thread until I catch up on the back episodes over the weekend (don't want to read any spoilers), but talk amongst yourselves....

Museum Day 2008

Looking for something fun and frugal to do this weekend?  Saturday, September 28 is Museum Day 2008.  Museums across the country are offering free admission for Saturday only (Sunday if they're closed on Saturdays.)  I've looked through the list and I have found several museums in my area that I would like to visit.  There are museums near almost every large military base, as well.

For more information or a complete list of museums, visit Museum Day 2008.

Cross Posted at The Paycheck Chronicles.

Fit Club - Report In!

I'll have a big post for you next week - but until then, to tide you over and make you smile...

My new favorite commercial!! 

Who doesn't love Richard Simmons? Seriously!

Tonight on SpouseBUZZ Radio!

Tonight SpouseBUZZ Radio has a very special program!  We'll be speaking to Christina Thoreson - The Federal Programs Marketing Manager at Microsoft.

Yes, THAT Microsoft! 

For the second year in a row, Microsoft has partnered with the USO and has rented out Radio City Music Hall to provide a big show, free of charge! - to service-members and their families.  Now that is a big deal! 

Let's talk about it! 

We'll also be joined by fellow military spouse Lori Twichell of Beyond the Buzz Marketing to talk about the Microsoft program.

You don't want to miss it, tonight at 9 pm Eastern on SpouseBUZZ Radio!  And don't forget - the chat room will be hopping!

Homecoming Thoughts

My son, Cpl. Dark Prince, USMCR, deployed in March of this year.  That day of deployment, as many of you have experienced,  is the lowest point in a mil parent/milspouse's life.  It just sucks like a Dyson, doesn’t it?    You are right at the beginning of a deployment.  The clock has just started but (thank God) it has FINALLY started!!  You walk away after saying goodbye to your husband, wife, son or daughter thinking something like “Well..I don’t have to live that moment again.. at least for now.”

But at the other end of the deployment, there be dragons as well….

Let's Play Stump the Army Wife: What Would You Say?

Over the weekend, I was in and out of airports. I began talking to a lady about why I was heading to Las Vegas (for a military conference) and explained that I'm an Army wife. She asked me a question that shouldn't have stumped me, but it did.

Oh, what's it like to be an Army wife?

I always seem to have these types of conversations in airports... I understand the reason this question was asked. It really means, "What's it like to be an Army wife during war time?"

House? What House?

Why is it that EVERY SINGLE TIME I move, I go down to the wire when it comes to finding a place to live?

Every.  Single.  Time.

Connecting

I'm sitting in the airport, waiting for the last leg of my flight home. I'm returning from the MilBlogging conference in Las Vegas and it's a bittersweet return. There's no place like home but in order to go home, I had to say goodbye to wonderful friends - old and new. Such is the crux of military life, isn't it?

The conference, much like our SpouseBuzz Live events, allows personal relationships to be formed in a "real life" setting. My husband often jokes about my "imaginary friends" so it's nice to be able to put faces with names (and prove to him that these people do, in fact exist), even if it is only briefly.

Putting It Off, Then Putting It Off Some More

I hope I'm not the only person who has mastered the art of procrastination.  I can put off a dreaded chore, errand or phone call for a very long time.  Eventually, however, I have to go all Nike and "Just Do It."

Today, I tackled a task that I've been avoiding for months.  Last year, during a series of odd events, I had to put some refinished but not yet reupholstered furniture into a storage unit.  At the time, the storage unit was two hours from my house.  Since I moved into the area in June, the furniture has been nagging at me.  It was ridiculous for me to be paying for storage, but I didn't have a truck, and I didn't want to borrow one, and it really was a two person job, and it was going to be really hard, and I didn't have a sensible place to put the furniture once I get it here.

Well, guess what?  It wasn't that bad.  It couldn't have taken more than 2 hours, and that included making room in the garage, driving to the storage unit, maneuvering it out the rabbit-warren of little cubes, down the elevator and into my uncle's truck, and driving very slowly back home.  Two measly hours, plus a bunch of help from my mother, and my uncle who watched the kids.  Two hours that will save me $115 when the next month's rent would be due next week.

Now onto my next job:  getting it reupholstered.  Do you think I can drag that out for a year as well?

Fit Club - Report In!

I'm still moving.  My exercising is still consisting of packing boxes, looking at houses, washing walls,  and carrying boxes up and down stairs.  However, Spark People says that is real exercise! 

My biggest problem now is that with moving, I haven't been watching my food much.  I ate fast food this week, including (GASP!) those fries I had cut completely out of my diet in the last several months.  The bidding process on houses doesn't help me, either.  That's a recipe for Nutter Butter disaster right there.

Have I Been Wasting Money?

My family needs all of the grocery savings that we can get.  And, I fear know that we have been wasting some money!

Our reality is that we have growing children - their appetites seem to grow by the day.  Our grocery bill is getting larger each week and our budget is feeling the pain.  My husband says that he is now on a forced diet.  A diet imposed upon him by the fact that our children are now eating a wider variety of foods and larger portions.  Our children are eating and eating and eating.  I now fully understand why my parents frequently said - "our children are eating us out of house and home."

Tonight on SpouseBUZZ Radio!

Thousands of military families are choosing the homeschooling option.  My family did - it makes those moves easier, since we don't have to worry about schooling being interrupted.  We work on our schedule, we have time off when we need it, and we have some flexibility for those uniquely military challenges (like when Dad comes home from deployment mid-year!). 

It's not a walk in the park, though, it's a lot of work and it can be very frustrating.  I do miss having the day to myself sometimes.  And the paperwork is CRAZY.

Is homeschooling for you?  Tonight we'll be joined by a special co-host and homeschooler, our own ArmyReserveWife!  We'll be hosting Chris Klicka, of the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) and talking about the issues facing military homeschoolers today.  What and where is it legal?  How do we know what the rules are when we move?  All that and more tonight at 9 pm Eastern on SpouseBUZZ Radio! 

And don't forget to join us in the chatroom! 

SpouseBUZZ Turns Two

My how time flies....Two years ago, SpouseBUZZ opened its doors. What a ride it has been! This gig is way too much fun. We've enjoyed having daily conversations with milspouses all across the globe. We've laughed and cried and learned so much from all of you. Thanks for your contributions to SpouseBUZZ.

Here's to many, many more years! 

It was bound to happen, sooner or later

You know it's time for one of "the talks" when you overhear your kids conversations.  Let me set the stage, we have two young girls.  You know me as Toad, but the kids know me as Dad.  My wife, The Boss, is active military ... yall know this much already, so, here's the scene.  The girls, both pre-schoolers, were talking to the young boys next door that just PCSd onto installation.  These boys have a much more traditional family relationship, with the father being the active duty member...

ToadKid1 (TK1):  Hey yall ... sup?  After a bit of quiet, I hear one of the girls, ...

ToadKid2 (TK2):  Think they talk?

NeighborBoy1(NB1):  Of course we talk and no, we don't have kooties or fleas like most girls think.

"That John Adams Bullcrap"

The last time my husband was deployed was in 2004.  During that deployment, he was in an area of Iraq with very little infrastructure.  There were no phones or internet where he was; there wasn't even running water.  During that deployment, our main source of communication was snail mail.

I sent my husband 215 letters while he was gone.  He sent me 10.

Overheard at Casa Semper Fi

Operator:  Hello, this is (some hotel chain), how may I help you?

Semper Fi Wife:  Yes, I'd like to make a reservation.

A New Business is Born

Milspouse blogger Penny has been working over the past several months to develop her own business, a business which offers personalized goods to military families.

Penny's e-store opened its doors yesterday and she's offering a special 10% discount to SpouseBUZZ readers. Anyone who makes a purchase will be entered in a drawing to receive a gift. The discount is good through September 30. Use the code SBUZZ1 upon check-out to receive your discount. Click here to check out Penny's goods.

Congratulations, Penny, and good luck!

When first grade feels like an island

I got a phonecall from the school yesterday, and it was not a good one.

Did You Know?

Register for SpouseBuzz Live in San Antonio
Real Military Transition Stories
Tuition Top-Up Servicemember Benefit
Army Program Encourages Students
Beware of Child Predators
Constitution Day and Citizenship Day
Deadlines Approach for Absentee Voting
Eagle Cash: Don't Deploy Without It
Exchanges Optical Pricing Now Online
Hurricane Hotline for Reserve, Families
Preparation Advice for Approaching Storms
TRICARE Supports Storm-affected Beneficiaries
Couples Workshops Aid Families
Heroes at Home Wish Registry
Saving Money Tips for Military Families
Monthly Benefits Video News Magazine
$100 off Teacher Certification
America's Student-GI Day
New Battlemind Video Coming

Can't You See We're in Crisis Mode, People?

Have you ever noticed that when the world seems to be imploding and you've got stuff to do, the people walking in front of you walk just that much slower?  The cars all seem to slow to a stop before turning into a driveway.  The checker at the store holds marathon chat sessions with the lady at the front of the line who can't figure out if she wants the shirt that didn't have a tag - please price check it and then she'll decide.

I've always wondered what would happen if it all got to be too much one day and I sounded my barbaric yawp while in the line at Safeway.

Do you think someone would understand, or would they bring out the straight jacket and strong medications?

Military Wives: A Society of Chronic Insomniacs

I was glad my husband didn't come home from his recent TDY assignment in the dark. Otherwise, he would have tripped over a few things. That's because I couldn't go to sleep because of the family crisis that wasn't. I didn't need computer work or reading. I needed busy, do-stuff-with-your-hands, gritty labor. For me, that meant rearranging the furniture in the house. And we've only been here two months, so I was hardly tired of the layout. That didn't much matter, though. I experimented with various versions of furniture arrangement in four rooms and kept my hands and my mind occupied with something other than cancer.

I rarely go to bed at a decent hour when my husband is away, but this time, I didn't go to bed at all for over 24 hours and when I did go to bed, it was for two-hour spurts here and there.

Passing on the Pledge?

An Army friend has recently moved to Korea, and she emailed a group of friends, upset, because her child's Department of Defense school only says the Pledge of Allegiance on Fridays.  She wondered what other schools do.  One person responded that their school also only said the Pledge on Fridays, but everyone else said that their child's school says the Pledge of Allegiance every day.  For the most part, we were not happy about a DODDS school choosing to pass on such an important part of our American culture, and a patriotic gesture to boot.

So, I'm curious.  Do your children say the Pledge every day?  What do you think about it?  Is this an issue that is important to you?

A Family Crisis, an Absent Husband and Lots of Guilt

A few weeks ago, my husband left for a TDY assignment. While he was en route to another country, my mother called to tell me that my nephew was in the hospital and that something was really, really wrong. She was hysterical. A few hours passed and my mom called back. This time, she was even more hysterical. Once I calmed her down, I found out that the doctors suspected my nephew had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. They would know more in a few days after some additional tests. I tried to remain steady in order to calm my mother down, but as soon as we hung up, I lost it.

In the process of "losing it," guess who called to let me know he had safely landed?

I Know You Know

So that's why I'm asking.

If you have a fool-proof method of turning cluttered chaos into uncluttered utopia, I'm all ears.  If you're looking for help, let's hope others share!

MilBloggie Awards

It's always a bit tricky and a little uncomfortable when SpouseBUZZ is competing with friends for awards, but Milblogging.com is running their annual MilBloggie Awards competition right now. One of the categories is "Best Spouse Blog." SpouseBUZZ, along with some other fine spouse blogs, is a finalist in that category. Voting is open until midnight tomorrow evening and if you're so inclined, we'd appreciate your vote. You must be signed in to your milblogging.com account, or create one, to vote. Only one vote per person per category is allowed. Details can be found here.

There are many fantastic blogs in all of the categories. Good luck to all.

The Pentagon Memorial

Last night on SpouseBUZZ Radio we talked to Lt. Col. Phillip Waite, who called us directly from the 9-11 Memorial at the Pentagon.  Lt. Col. Waite gave us a beautiful description of the Memorial at night, with each bench lit from underneath, and explained the symbolism of the site.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that those of us talking to him on the show and in the chatroom were awestruck.  Just look at these beautiful  pictures the Washington Post has up from yesterday evening.

The Memorial was just dedicated yesterday, the seventh anniversary of 9-11-2001, and if you would like to see it for yourself, there are pictures and back-story here at the memorial website.

The Pentagon 9-11 Memorial is open to the public 24 hours a day and is located just outside the Pentagon.  From Lt. Col. Waite's description, though, I would recommend you take some kleenex with you when you make your visit.  I know I'll need it.

Fit Club - Report In!

I have not been to the gym in two weeks.

I have, however, been packing and lugging boxes all over my house.  And when I checked the calorie counter on Spark People, it seems that packing and lugging boxes (and mowing the lawn) actually burn a significant amount of calories and work your arm and chest muscles!  Who'da thunk?

It totally explains the 3 pounds I dumped into seeming nowhere this week.  Which is probably mostly water weight, but a girl can dream, right?

SpouseBUZZ Radio Special Event

Today I don't talk much, but I still know what day it is.  I think a lot.  I remember what life was like on 9-10-2001 and how Air Force Guy and I planned to be totally done with the military and move back to California for some sweet civilian job making oodles of money.  I remember how it only took one day, 24 hours, for it all to change.

Today on SpouseBUZZ Radio we will be featuring two very special stories.  We will talk to LTC Phil Waite about the dedication of the Pentagon 9-11 Memorial taking place today. 

We will also talk to Soldier Hard, a To the Fallen Records artist who decided after 9-11that even though he had already done his military time, he needed to re-enlist to be with his military family.  We'll be playing Soldier Hard's song "The Military Wife" for you to listen to.

We'll be accepting call ins and talking, and of course we'll be in the chat room,  about that day - 9/11/2001 - when the world changed for all Americans, and especially for military families.

You don't want to miss this show tonight at 9 pm Eastern on SpouseBUZZ Radio.   

Where were you?

My grandmother still remembers where she was and what she was doing when she heard the news about Pearl Harbor. My mom still remembers where she was and what she was doing when John Kennedy was assassinated.

I still remember where I was on September 11th.

The Post 9/11 Jigsaw Puzzle

It was seven years ago today that our world drastically changed.  That statement is especially true of our military and their families. 

Lordy, Precious..am I not the Queen of Understatement?

That's My Normal

Andi mentioned at SpouseBUZZ Live over the weekend how one person's weird is another person's normal.  Her example was how she does laundry immediately after her husband deploys, in contrast to the many wives who seem to hang on to those stinky shirts as long as they can.  I came across an example of this weird/normal dichotomy in my own life recently.

Fellow milspouse Sis B called me two weekends ago and asked what I was doing.  I told her I was watching Band of Brothers.  She litterally gasped out loud and asked me how on earth I could stomach it while my husband is deployed.  Her weird, my normal.  I said that the only time I get to watch military-themed shows and movies is when my husband is gone, because when he's home he nitpicks the stuff to death: this beret is crooked, NCOs don't talk like that, etc.  The last time he was deployed, I finally got to sit down and watch Black Hawk Down and We Were Soldiers.  I peacefully enjoyed Patton, The Big Red One, The Longest Day, and Band of Brothers.  And I decided to watch Band of Brothers again this time around, for old time's sake.  I like to watch military movies while my husband is gone; somehow it makes me feel connected to the mission and to my husband's life.  That's my normal.

Do you have anything you do that is weird for your friends but normal for you?

Embarrassing PCS Stories

Hey, you know what's embarrassing? Walking upstairs to ask a question of the packer just as he's unloading your lingerie drawer. Kinda tough to carry on a serious conversation with a stranger when he's holding your bras in his hands. Very uncomfortable, to say the least.

Okay, spill. What's your embarrassing PCS story - I know you have one.....

When Goodbye Feels More Like Good Riddance

During our weekend in Virginia, Andi posted some of our "greatest hits" and one of my old posts prompted a new comment that posed a good question.

Armybrat AF Wife asks if any SB readers' spouses have "crazy coping mechanisms" to make it through a goodbye.  Now, she has me curious too.

How Cool!

Hobson's Farm

Army Wives Season 2 Episode 12

This week's Army Wives was about communication.  Or the lack thereof.

Did You Know?

SpouseBuzz Live is Coming to San Antonio
Sole Survivor Benefits Law
Changes to Beneficiary Limitations
Choose Homeownership
4 Tips to Get Your Degree in the Military
Test Your Singing Voice
Army's Sexual Assault Prevention Campaign
TRICARE Awareness Month in Europe
Controlling Combat Stress
Exchanges Promote Suicide Awareness
Group Offers Small-Business Help
National Suicide Prevention Week
Navy College Offers Opportunities
New Aircraft Display at Museum
Household Goods Moving System Upgrade
Program Aids Voters
Government to Pay Less for Drugs
TRICARE Offers Preparedness Tips
America Supports You Freedom Walks
Red Ribbon National Campaign
Missouri Tuition Cap for Combat Vets
Nationals Military Appreciation Nights
AF Defers Uniform Decision
Exchanges Recall Mussels

Just Because I'm Curious

Or, just because I'm nosy.  Take your pick.  Either way, I wanna know.

Dragons -- they're out there

Challenges -- what a bore it would be if nothing ever went askew and if it always was an easy glide from one day to the next.  And admittedly, few of us manage to wander our way through this life without some type of personal challenge--not family, not kids, but a deep personal challenge.  A Dragon ready to possess us to the center of our souls. Fortunately, these challenges are few and when they do fall at our feet, knowing how to handle them and ourselves can be a task.  These are the times when two heads are better than one and thinking is better than reacting.  It is going to be a one shot, winner take all issue and the goal is to ensure the dragon doesn't win.  We usually try to put it off but know that sometime, the challenge, the problem, the issue, just isn't going to go away. At that point we just have to stop what we're doing, step up, and go nose-to-nose with "that dragon which must be confronted."

What we really don't expect though, is to have the phone ring and suddenly and inexplicably find out a dear friend is confronting a challenge of an even greater magnitude then we ourselves may have ever faced. That's when you find yourself staring into the mirror and asking the reflection ... is it possible, do I have it in me, am I the best choice to help, can I stop, regroup and refocus my strengths to come to the aid of my friend -- Is it possible?  (*gulp*) Me?

Please Excuse My Demon Child

As often happens with my life, I found I had to take my children along with me to last weekend's SpouseBUZZ Live event.  AFG is gone and I'm on the opposite coast as my family.  Quite frankly, I'm also afraid to leave them with anyone who doesn't have a biological tie.  You see, I know what my children can do when allowed to plot with impunity.

And may I just apologize now to everyone my son ran over, squeezed, wiped dirty hands and/or nose on, threw things in the general direction of, yelled near, used bad language around, and anything else I might have inadvertently left off this list.