In the Grand Scheme of Things

One of my oldest friends came to visit me this weekend.  We had a great time together; it's the longest visit we've had with each other since we stopped being roommates when I got married back in 2002.  But I also learned something this weekend: some of my biggest gripes at this point in my life are really not such a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

I've written before here about how hard it is to cook for one with my husband deployed.  Well, my friend is still single, so my complaint about cooking for one is just part of her everyday life.  I only have to cook for one for seven months; she does it every day with no end in sight.

I also have written about how frustrated I am that we've been trying unsuccessfully to have a baby.  And while my single friend feels for me and has been supportive, I was keenly aware all weekend that any thought of how my biological clock seems to be ticking away seems crass.  My friend is even further from having a baby than I am, and our clocks are ticking together.

Moreover, my friend would give anything just to have a loving husband, even one who is away at war.  It's easy to get bummed that my husband is gone and I don't get to spend time with him, but I was reminded this weekend that at least I have him.  Even though he is gone, I have a partner to go through life with, a husband who loves me very much and who makes my heart feel whole even when he's thousands of miles away.  I'm lucky to have a husband, even an absent one.

My friend's visit made me count my blessings and gave me another healthy dose of Perspective.

(But it was fun too; I promise I didn't just Learn Lessons all weekend.  There was plenty of laughter and bourbon too!)

Comments

[Pink1234]

Great post! it is nice to have those ah moments once in awhile that puts things into perspective. I think some do not completely understand what it is like to be married to a soldier. I have gotten the oh, I am sorry or how do you do it. I would remarry my husband in a heartbeat! Separation is challenging, but I have an amazing husband that i would not trade for the world.

[Amber]

It's always a treat to be re-connected to an old friend who can take your mind off the stress of deployments!

It sounds like you had a fabulous weekend!

[Tucker]

Thanks for posting this... that was some Perspective I needed to hear too. Thanks!

[Butterfly Wife]

During Jack Bauer's deployment, my closest friend (and still is) a singleton. So any time I complained about those single things, she promptly reminded me that was her situation everyday. Yeah, perspective, I got a lot of that too. I just hated it when it slapped me across the face.

[angela]

Whenever I get upset that he is gone most of the time I think about my best friend. We grew up together and I still can't believe who she married. They fight from the time he gets home from work until bedtime and have been living this way for 10 years. She always says she doesn't know how I can live this lifestyle being alone so often. I never say it to her but I would rather have a blast even for a little while than live her life with that jerk every single day.

[She of the Sea]

Great post! When you're juggling your family, life and TDY insomnia with an absent spouse, it can be hard to remember your other choices: being truly alone, or being unhappily married. Thanks for the reminder, Sarah! I'll try to focus on being more thankful and less cranky.

[Bonny]

In spite of the deployments and other things that go along with military life, I still consider myself lucky to have the Hubby that I have.

[Erin]

It sounds like you had an awesome weekend with your friend, who sounds very wise.

DH is remotely near me right now, but I can't deny the amount of love I feel from him every day. I'm blessed and you're blessed, and we've got wonderful homecomings to look forward to!