Fit Club - Report In!

Okay people - how did you do this week?

Tonight on SBTR: Military Music

Tonight we're going to catch up with our old friends at To The Fallen Records. We'll find out what they've been up to since our last show, and we'll also meet a new artist, Zach Johnson. Zach's myspace page can be found here. Be sure to listen to Zach's song, "We'll be Together," a song that he wrote as a love letter to his wife while he was deployed.

Join us tonight at 9:00 EDT by clicking here. As always, the chat room will open.

Do you like the roller coaster?

Air Force Wife, and Sarah have spoke often about the highs being high, and the lows being low, when you are married to a service member.

I think they are right.

But sometimes a merry go round is nice too.

Dinner and Deployment: Like Oil and Water

At our house, Dad is beginning the deployment cycle.  He's been gone for progressively longer periods during the second half of the summer, and he's just left for a five week class.  We're gradually moving from "Dad home" to "Dad gone" routines.  For me, one of the most frustrating changes is dinner.  Actually, some things are easier:  I'm not trying to figure out if Dad will make it home, and I could conceivably serve the same easy thing several nights in a row.  In fact, I think the kids would kind of like it.  Which brings me to my problem:

What do we eat while Dad is gone?

Keeping Me Company

I don't sing in front of people.

Starting From Scratch: The Angry Nail Lady Version

Something frightening always occurs after I've taken a few weeks to move across the country, unpack boxes and set-up a new home. Once the chaos of the move dies down, one day I will finally look in the mirror and let out a scream that can be heard for several miles. You see, I've been too busy to pay any attention to personal care. My nails are broken (or too long) and chipped, my toenails could easily be confused for fingernails and my roots are so bad that they really should prevent me from going anywhere in public.

If the mere sight of myself isn't scary enough, the process of finding someone to fix me is almost unbearable. Where do I go? Who will fix me the way I want to be fixed? Who can I trust? When I set about to answer those very questions for the first time at a new duty station, it doesn't tend to go very well. This time was no exception.

Just a Dream

I listen to country music - I admit it!  I love the relatively clean and very patriotic feel.  But it's been awhile since anything came out of the country music sector about military life.  Then I was driving down the road and heard Carrie Underwood's latest song, "Just  A Dream".  I had to pull over and compose myself before I drove on.  If you haven't heard it - take a minute....

Thank you, Carrie!

Washing machine woes

Just a quick post - provided by an old, civilian friend to start your day with humor!  An old college buddy called me on his way to pick up a heavy duty shop vac.  Apparently, his washing machine struck a leak and his wife sent him out to get the proper equipment to fix the damage while she and the kids attempted to hold off the flood.  He wanted to let me know how lucky we military types were that we had 'people' who would come to our house and fix our washing machines when they broke! 

Seriously, do you have 'people'?  I don't have 'people'!  Am I missing out on 'people'?!?!?!?!?!?  Is it any wonder the civilian community doesn't reach out more?  They all think we have 'people'!!!!!  Egads!

Did You Know?

Temporary VA Home Loan Limit Increase
Join SpouseBUZZ Live in Virginia Beach, VA
Facts on Your VA Home Loan
AAFES Hunting Sweepstakes
Exchanges Texting Savings
Gas Stations Extend Discount
Holiday Greetings Program Begins
Air Force Marathon Offers Several Events
Airline Waives Luggage Fee
Mileage Rate Increases
Military Encourages Financial Readiness
TRICARE E-mail News
AF Sponsorship Program
National POW/MIA Recognition Day
America Supports You Freedom Walk
VFW Offers Scholarships
Watch Historical Presidential Debate
Gearing Up for Armed Forces Voters Week
Military Job Fair of Virginia

It's Been One of Those Days

You know - a day like this.

Yep.  That's my life.

Bust-a-Myth: Letting Go of Stereotypes

Last week when we spoke with Mrs. Casey, she said something that caught my attention. We were talking about careers and Mrs. Casey said we need to "break out of some of the stereotypes that people think still exist." Indeed, many stereotypes have been lingering for ages. Stereotypes, in the military spouse world, are often outdated and can serve to undermine morale and relationships. The military is probably the most diverse institution around, so a lot of stereotypes are laughable, at best. Destructive, at worst.

Military Friends versus Civilians

Last year, my sister innocently asked, "So what do you get out of this blogging thing, anyway?"

The last kiss, a Canadian wife shares her thoughts

I found this a few months ago, and I really need to share it.

Off the face of the Earth, the invisible woman looks for a job.

The great job hunt of 2008.

Oye Vey.

I have been "unemployed for almost 7 years now" (think echo chamber here).

That is a long time.

(Still echoing....)

Fit Club - Report In!

I think I should say now... Be very careful not to put too much weight on when you are using the ab machine.

Bad things can happy.  You probably don't want to know.

From the Mailbag: Keeping His Chin Up When Yours is Down

An Army wife seeks advice:

I kinda need a piece of advice, how do you comfort a soldier who was just told that his stay in Iraq may be extended when you are just as heart broken as he is? I'm trying my best to assure him everything is gonna be ok, But I thought we had a couple months left and now it may be more, how do you deal with it?

I've never had to deal with an extension. My husband's first deployment was supposed to be a year, and it was. The next deployment was supposed to be six months, and it was. But, this Army wife brings up an interesting point, whether it's an extension or simply dealing with bad news. How do you deal with bad news when your spouse is half a world away? How do you keep his spirits up when yours are down? I suspect the answers will be as varied as our personalities. Some of us suck it up and mask our true disappointment in order to keep our spouses from worrying about us, and in an effort to keep them as upbeat as possible. Some of us don't hide our disappointment at all and choose to show our emotions.

What advice would you offer this wife, and how have you dealt with similar situations in the past?

That's When They Always Come

My kids and I like to rent or buy TV series on DVD rather than holding our schedule hostage to particular times/nights.  And I like how this brings us closer as a family, with all the variation and specialization in TV programming, it's nice to have something in common. 

But let's face it, kids don't sit still well.  So I have come up with ways for dealing with their restiveness while we are having family time.  And as simple as it is, it has caused me untold embarrassment.

I just registered for Spousebuzz LIVE Hampton Roads

After a whirlwind couple of weeks, I have finally registered to attend Spousebuzz Live in Hampton Roads, Virginia on September 6th.

If you have been meaning to register but haven't done it yet, you can do so here.  I attended my first Spousebuzz LIVE in Fayetteville and I really had a great time.  We laughed, we cried, we bonded.  As an extra benefit, Air Force Wife does a cool  Russian mother in law impression...  she will have you in stitches.

So who's up for the party?

Army Wives Discussion Thread: Back in Business

Okay, like I said a few days ago, we're back in the game, so let's hit it.

First of all, I'm receiving a lot of comments and email from those of you who feel the military themes are being pushed into the background this season, and that many of the situations are ones that could occur on any drama or soap opera. I have to admit, I haven't really noticed this because whether or not they play the military angle up, I automatically read that angle into every situation. But after viewing the last Army Wives episode, I realized they missed at least one opportunity.

 

Focus on Finances

Military families, just like families everywhere, have financial concerns and must budget accordingly.  Many folks are struggling more within the current economy.  Finances can be a major stressor within marriages and families - but they don't have to be.

After the jump you will find more information on finances.

It's a Dangerous World: The "Different Kind" of Deployment Version

A few weeks ago, I was on a flight when I struck up a conversation with the lady sitting next to me. She was really nice, and conversation came easy. When I told her I was a military spouse, she looked at me a little hesitantly. I could tell she wanted to choose her words very carefully. Then it came:

Has he been......over there?

This and That: Good Stuff

It's almost time for the 2008 Freedom Walk.

Honor the victims of 9-11 and pay tribute to our veterans, past and present.

Walk with friends and family in the America Supports You (ASY) Freedom Walk. Walks are being organized nationwide and on U.S. military installations worldwide. 

Please walk with us.

The 4th annual national ASY Freedom Walk will be held on Sunday, September 7, in Washington, DC.  This one-mile walk will begin at 9 a.m. EDT at the Women in Military Service for America Memorial at Arlington National Cemetery and will finish at the Pentagon South Parking lot.  Sign up now to participate in this national walk. Deadline is September 5 at 6 p.m.

Last year we spoke with Allison Barber about the meaning of these walks. Click here to listen. Freedom Walks are taking place all over the country, so click here to find one near you, and sign up to walk. My husband and I have participated in two of these walks and it's an amazing experience. You'll be happy you made the effort, I assure you.

Our friends at USAA are sponsoring Military Spouse Magazine's search for the Military Spouse of the Year. Know someone worthy of nomination? Click here to find out more.

Reunited and it feels so good.....Boy, would I have loved to have a makeover just before both redeployments. Partly because I changed clothes 400 times before deciding what to wear. You would have thought I had never dressed myself before. Are you a wife or girlfriend who will be experiencing a homecoming soon? I received this email today:

{We} are searching for a military wife who wants to get a makeover before her husband or boyfriend returns from being deployed. I was hoping you might be able to help us find a deserving candidate by either posting an announcement to your readers/community or sending this information around to your circle.

We'll be shooting in Los Angeles, hopefully beginning in September or October and finishing things up when the couple is reunited. The chosen woman will have her story featured on Capessa.com and will win a complete mind and body makeover, including a new hairstyle, a new fitness instructor, a new wardrobe and personal counseling to prepare her mentally for her husband's return.

Anyone interested is invited to submit a brief note explaining why she wants to be a part of this project, if she has children, when her husband is scheduled to return home and which branch of the military he's in. We also ask that candidates confirm with their husbands that it's okay for them to participate, since he will have to be on camera during the reunion, and that they send in a recent photo. Submission materials should be sent to militarywivescasting@gmail.com.

Note: SpouseBUZZ is not affiliated in any way with Capessa.com, we're just passing the information along. Let us know if you decide to participate, and are chosen.

Toddlers Across the Time Zones

In a recent comment on my packing lament, Cathy asked for thoughts about moving to Germany and traveling with toddlers.  I know very little about Germany, but I know a lot about flying with little kids.  When two East Coast families combine and have a first grandchild in Hawaii, there is some traveling involved.  When said family then moves to Australia and has two more kids while they're there, there is some traveling involved.  Add in two emergency trips home from Down Under, and you've got a four month old with Premier level frequent flyer miles.

Here are my top tips for flying with small children:

Technical Difficulties

Thanks for your email. Many of you have been unable to access SpouseBUZZ, or you could get on but couldn't comment. For those of you who can get on, we have not closed down comments, we're just experiencing some technical difficulties at the moment. Bear with us, we'll be back up and running soon. Thanks for your patience.

School Season For Us

In our area, school does not start until the day after Labor Day, but in our family school started yesterday.

Like a large and growing portion of military families, we homeschool.  In fact, military families homeschool at a much higher rate than the general public does.

It definitely has its good and bad points.

Did You Know?

TRICARE Enhances Dental Benefit
Test Your Singing Voice
Bangkok Dangerous in Theaters September 5
Exchanges Host Song Contest
Spouses: Attend SpouseBUZZ Live in Norfolk, VA
Influenza Vaccines Approved
Navy Exchange Back-to-School Sales
Navy Sponsors Family Retreat in Italy
Letter-Writing Campaign for Deployed Troops
Intervention and Preventing Suicide
Shop Smart for Back-to-School
AF Marathon Seeks Volunteers
Upcoming Events for Navy Women
Wounded Warrior Aims for Paralympics
2009 Proposed Pay Charts
Free Tuition for Illinois Veterans
Exchanges Sponsor Giveaway
Stop Bullying Website Available
Absentee Voters Face Deadline

Pre-existing and they're turning 21 ...

Bash the system to your hearts desire, but I for one feel that the medical benefits we enjoy via TRICARE are by and large, top of the line.  I know, I know, we all have exceptions and stories that would scare the stripe off of a skunk, BUT, by ... and ... large, it's a good program.  What we don't always know is, what truly ARE our medical care benefits and how do we achieve them?  Settle back, I've a story that one of you just might be interested in ...

Let's say you've been successful in rearing your family.  And by chance and happenstance, one of your children develops a serious condition, let's pick a biggie, the Big C, cancer.  TRICARE is doing its job in securing treatment and paying most if not all of the expenses of treatment.  Your child is making it through school, the cancer is being beaten, but they're about to be emancipated from you, the sponsor, because of either age or college completion.  But the treatments aren't over?  And you just know you can't get another health insurance provider to pickup coverage for the pre-existing condition ... Good Grief, Now What?

Home is Where the Heart Is

For the past three years, Lancelot and I have been away from the Marine Corps.  He went to school and then into a joint billet.  We weren't entirely away from the Corps because of our son but we still missed being within our community. 

That all changed for the better on Friday.

Queen Bee

  When I lived in Cairo, I met a gal from the FBI.  We became fast friends and did everything together.  Let's call her Queen Bee.

We were a little more adventurous in running around the city than most and the benefit was all that we got to see and do. 

My Suitcase Will Never Have The One Thing I Need

What is it about traveling?  Why can't I pack the things I'm actually going to need?  You'd think I'd never left home before...

Army Wives: Some News and the Return of the Discussion Threads

Many SpouseBUZZ readers (especially Angie and Heather) have been after me to revive our weekly Army Wives discussion threads. I apologize that we haven't opened one in a while. The PCS move, and then some subsequent travel, threw me for a loop.

I've got two news items related to Army Wives to share with you, and then we'll do a mini round-up and resume our more comprehensive threads next week, after tonight's episode.

For the news....

Fertile Mertles

Went to the base swimming pool with a friend of mine - yep, one of my civilian friends!  She was amazed at many things - the well behaved kids (fortunately, she included mine in this grouping), the fact there was no snack bar so everyone cheerfully brought their own things and the cleanliness of the pool area.  I told her these could be attributed to the emphasis on discipline in military life.

But then she threw me for a loop - "Then how do you explain so many pregnant women?  I've never seen so many people with so many kids or so many pregnant woman at a pool!  Are military men really just that fertile?!?!?!?"  I think I said something intelligent like, "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, dunno."

Fit Club - Report In!

I've tried this week - I really have.

The gym was a hard one this time - I only made it twice.  Monday I felt so good after my cardio that I punched out extra sets of walking lunges and power squats!

Tuesday, I was not able to walk down the stairs.  Much less work up a sweat. 

Batteries

My husband is a gadget hound. Therefore we have dozens of batteries. They are EVERYWHERE. Regular alkaline batteries. Rechargeable batteries. Lithium ion batteries. D cell batteries, C batteries, AA batteries, AAA batteries.

9 volt batteries.

Camera batteries, watch batteries. Car batteries.

You name it. We most likely have it. To include DEAD batteries.

BREAKING NEWS: Apparently, General's Wives Are Not Aliens...

Last fall, I was at a post-wide gathering when I noticed the CG's wife wandering around the large banquet room. I also noticed that everyone was staying away from her, including me. She's a fantastic lady, but after all, she's the General's wife, and who really wants to take a chance on saying or doing the wrong thing, right?

I watched her for a good while because I found my observations fascinating. She was the one approaching table after table and initiating conversation. In 20 minutes or so, I never saw anyone approach her. And then I thought, wow, that must be hard. What if someone threw you in a room with 300 people and you were responsible for all the introductions and conversation? Some of us would be just fine, but I'll bet most of us would hate it and feel uncomfortable. I'd be thinking, "sheesh, would someone please tell a good joke or do something a little bit improper? I need an icebreaker here..."

The Amazing Elaine: An Encore Appearance

Oh boy, do we have a special treat for you tonight. If you missed our show several months ago with Elaine, a Vietnam-era milspouse, you missed out! Elaine was such a big hit with our audience that we've asked her back, and she's agreed.

If you're feeling down and having a particularly tough deployment, you certainly don't want to miss this show because when you hear Elaine's story, it's sure to give you a boost. It's hard to believe what the spouses of those who served in the Vietnam war had to endure. And it's really nice that we're able to give them a platform to talk about their experiences, something that they didn't really have back then.

Don't miss this show, and don't miss our always-lively chat, either. By the way, our chat room was down yesterday during our show with Mrs. Chiarelli. Sorry for the inconvenience. It appears to be working fine today, though.

Click here at 9:00 p.m. EDT to listen live.    

neighborhood meeting

I don't live on post/base.  I live in the civilian community.  My neighbors are a mix of civilian and military, young and old.  Sometimes it's interesting to sit and reflect on the dynamics!

WE bury people in 1 day, and move in 4?

When I was packing and getting ready to move the question that was posed from my family was....

"Your not packed yet?"

It was a discouraging question, and ended up causing a lot of anxiety. 

And now that we are in our home...

The Guilt

Sis B's husband was supposed to be going on a dangerous mission.  And then she wrote this:

And now we found out that he will be left behind.

I should be overjoyed, right? And yes, a great part of me is relieved. But another part feels guilty... I guess that's a decent word for it. My friends are going to be facing the hell of this task, while Soldier Boy and I will still be able to talk frequently and enjoy the comfort of his relative safety.

He sounded so disappointed and upset. He's sending these men, whom he loves and considers brothers, out to face incredible danger, while he stays behind in relative comfort.

Who knew relief could hurt like this?

Deployments are like snowflakes, but it's even more complicated than that, isn't it?

When Air Force Guy is Away, Murphy Will Play

I have a wasp infestation in my back yard.

Oh yay - lucky me.

Who knew that there are almost no companies in my area that will come and remove a wasp nest from that high up in a tree?  I mean, we are in VIRGINIA, for God's sake.  I'm pretty sure that other people have to deal with wasp nests high up in trees fairly frequently.

But never fear - I have the problem well under control now.

Looking for a Giggle?

I'm a milspouse in need of a laugh today. I blame Secretary Gates for part of my melancholy mood. I'll explain later..... Anyway, I knew exactly where I could find my laugh. If you need a laugh today, too - click here. An oldie but a goodie.

The Army Family Action Plan Turns 25: A SBTR Special Edition

You may or may not have heard of The Army Family Action Plan (AFAP), but if you haven't, chances are you are familiar with many of the programs and benefits that have been instituted under the umbrella of AFAP. Things like Army Family Team Building, BOSS, the increase in SGLI and BAH throughout the years, and on and on. AFAP allows soldiers and family members to give direct input to commanders and Army leaders on what is working, what isn't working and issues which need to be addressed. Basically, AFAP exists to improve the lives of Army families.

AFAP will celebrate its 25th anniversary on August 15. Today at 3:00 EDT, we'll host a a special 30-minute edition of SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio, which will be devoted to AFAP. We'll look at what AFAP has accomplished over the years and how it can continue to serve Army families in the years ahead. We're thrilled to welcome Beth Chiarelli as our guest today. Mrs. Chiarelli is the wife of General Peter W. Chiarelli, the new Vice Chief of Staff of the U.S. Army.

Click here at 3:00 to listen live. I'll also open the chat room.

The Missed Phonecalls

Sunday I was on a road-trip for six hours in the car.  I ate lunch in the drive-thru, and the only time I was out of the car was a four-minute stop at a rest area.  And I was wearing pants with no pockets, so I left the cell phone in the car while I ran in.  Naturally, that's when my husband called from Iraq.  Six hours sitting twelve inches from my phone, and he calls at the worst possible time.

So let's play Military Family Poker.  I know some of you out there can one-up me.  Tell me about the time you stepped outside to get the mail or you stuck your head in a closet and didn't hear the phone.  Let's commiserate on those missed deployment phonecalls. 

USAA Expands Eligibility Requirements

USAA, who has been a huge supporter of SpouseBUZZ and our SpouseBUZZ LIVE events, just announced that are expanding their membership eligibility requirements.

USAA Expands its Membership Eligibility

Now all military retirees and any service members honorably discharged after 1995, and their families can join USAA. An additional three million now have access to USAA.

SAN ANTONIO – Citing steady growth in financial strength and operational capacity, USAA announced that effective immediately, membership is now expanded to include:

 Military retirees, regardless of when they retired
 Military personnel who were honorably discharged on or after Jan. 1, 1996
 Widows or widowers of military personnel killed in action while eligible

After they join, spouses and children of the above may also be eligible for membership.

More after the jump.

Did You Know?

New Uniforms for Wounded Warriors
Tuition Assistance Program Overview
Join the American Legion
The New GI Bill - What's in it For You?
Survivors' Guide to Benefits
Military Olympians

More after the jump.

Just When I Thought I Knew it All, a Funny Thing Happened

I was going to leave a comment on airforcewife's post, but somehow my comment grew into a post of its own. A few months ago, several of the SpouseBUZZ authors read a book by a milspouse author. The book was a deeply-personal account of one wife's journey through her first deployment. Without giving it away, there was an incident in the book that some of the authors found offensive.

In short, we were split. Two of us had a visceral reaction to this, and two of us did not. Over the course of several days, we had some rather heated internal discussions about this book. So, those of you who think we march in lockstep all the time - not so!

One of the lines of discussion centered around R&R.

Installation Housing Discussion

In the past we have discussed issues and experiences surrounding privatization.  We even revisited the topic.  We have shared different views on how to deal with the companies that own our housing.  You can link to our many past discussions here.

Now up for discussion - a 'newer' issue on the topic of installation housing. 

Honey - Don't Come Home

I hate not seeing my husband.  I hate not waking up with him, going to sleep with him, giving him a kiss as he leaves for work, and - well, you know.  Other things.

I miss him terribly when he is gone.  So it's safe to say that the first time he deployed we made a decision that had our civilian family (I had gone "home" for the duration of the deployment) just could not comprehend.

I told him that if R & R was offered, I didn't want him to come home.

I love this product

While I am trying to break the record for the longest move EVER, I have become increasingly dependent on my Leatherman juice. 

Need to cut through a cardboard box in one fail proof swoop, it has you covered.  Need wire cutters?  I am there.  Need a bottle of wine opened?  Why thank you for asking.  Forgot where you laid the screwdriver?  It has you COVERED. 

Now what on Earth am I supposed to do with this?

It is a sunny Sunday morning on The Great Plains. 

I am sipping coffee and lounging in my nightgown, and it is almost 10am.  Do not worry, I am feeling very guilty about it.  We should be at church.  I have located 3 I am interested in.  But DH is out of town, and I find it hard showing up to church on the first visit ALONE.  It seems as though what would normally be a simple handshake, and a "good morning" turns into 20 minutes of me stammering around about how
"my Husband do wishes he could be here with us, but he is out of town for work".  And then, if I decide we do NOT  fit well into that church, then I have to do it again with another congregation.