Did You Know?

President Signs New GI Bill 

TRICARE Availability Still in Jeopardy 

TRICARE Cuts Pharmacy Costs 

Donor Program Saves Lives 

Education Coalition to Host Conference 

Free Mental Health Counseling 

Midwest Flood Response and Recovery 

Overseas Citizens Voters Week 

Program Provides Education for Spouses 

Celebrating with a Capitol Fourth 

DoD Issues Medication Safety Notice 

Gifts from the Homefront 

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder 

TRICARE Benefits Remain During Flooding 

$$$ From New Army Program 

DoD Provides Flood Information

Army Wives Season 2, Episode 4

I usually am not the one to do the recaps and so this won't resemble what  Andi does.

Since we don't have one up this evening, thought I'd take the opportunity and open the discussion.

Is It Just Me?

Or does the volume switch on children go straight up the minute their military parent leaves for deployment or TDY?

And do all children become non-stop talkers the minute those boots disappear, or is it just mine?  Because by about 7:30 pm I'm telling children, "Your allowance of words for the day has been exceeded at this time.  Please try again tomorrow."

Leave Changes

It is difficult to keep up with changes and updates - isn't it?

More changes......DOD Sweetens Leave Policies for Troops

With a Little Help From My Friend

Andi and I had a nice time last night, and she just laughed at my pile of toiletries and reminded me that all hers were expired.  We talked nonstop the entire evening, and time just flew by.  Before we knew it, it was bedtime.  And I needed her help.

In preparation for her arrival, I did all the awful chores that had needed to be done for a while: mowing the yard (ick), vacuuming (ugh), cleaning the guest bathroom (groan).  But there was something else that needed to be done around the house that I haven't been able to do on my own, so I enlisted the help of my dear friend and guest to do a particularly hefty chore.  Andi helped me rotate my mattress.

Just one of those things that can't easily be done when the husband is deployed.  Thank goodness for friends.

Hosting, Sarah Style

Andi is staying at my house tonight.  I'm located between point A and point B on her PCS itinerary, so I'm having her as a houseguest tonight.

I was tidying the bathroom when all of a sudden, I remembered this post of hers:

I love to keep a nice little basket of things in my guest bath for overnight guests. If you stay overnight with me and forgot a toiletry, there is no need to fret. No need at all. I've got just about anything you might need all in your very own private grab bag of toiletries. Soap (in many manly and not-so-manly varieties), razors, shaving creme, toothbrushes, night cream, bath bombs, towelettes, dental floss, curling iron, mints (yes, mints) bubble bath... You name it, it's there.

Oh. 
Crap.

Fit Club - Report In!

Regular exercise routines during the summer just stink.

Let's do something else.

Elmo's Tour Schedule

Elmo and friends to visit children at bases

All Five Senses

There are those little things we do during deployment to try to maintain connection with our beloved spouse, to keep ahold of them in all five of our senses.  We keep photos so we can see them.  I've read here before about people who keep a worn shirt to try to hang on to their spouse's smell.  I'm afraid there's not much we can do about taste or touch, though if you have ideas, I'm open to hearing them!  And sound...

I realized today that I have four messages saved on my answering machine.  I replay them, just to hear my husband's voice saying, "Hey, I guess you're not there; I'll try your cell."  I kept one message he had left on my cell, and imagine my disappointment two weeks later when the cell phone didn't give me a choice of whether I wanted to save the message forever.  It played once more and then was gone.  Sniff.

I'm not the only one who saves these messages, am I?  And what other little things do you do to satisfy your five senses' cravings?

If I wore a hat

I have tried to post a bit about "the move" of 2008 a bit here at SpouseBuzz. However, between being swamped, and having nothing nice to say (recalling what my Momma said about if you do not have anything nice to say), and no internet connection....well I am a bit behind.

Here goes.

Tonight on SpouseBUZZ Radio!

Lori Twichell is an  Air Force wife that has really gone outside the box - she's managed to parlay her experiences into a career in marketing that will knock your socks off!   At Beyond the Buzz Marketing, which she does from her home, she gets to mix and mingle with world famous authors, actors, movies, and television shows!  Her stories are simply amazing - hilarious, thoughtful, and incredibly interesting!

Talk about preaching the military life!  Lori has also managed to collect tens of thousands of dollars worth of entertainment media for soldiers through her contacts!

It's a perfect pajama party conversation!  Let's kick back and chat! 

Join us tonight at 9 pm on SpouseBUZZ Radio!  We'll be talking to Lori, taking your calls; and as always, our chatroom will be hopping!   

Hey!! Hey You!!!

Yes, YOU!!  What do you do when you're having a bad day?  How do you turn it around?

Do you listen to music?  Do you use aromatherapy (like candles)?  Do you take a brisk walk around the block?  Do you take a soak in the tub?

Inquiring minds want to know and, as an added benefit, you could help a fellow milspouse turn his/her day around with your suggestions so pile on!!!!

Military Knitting

Fellow milspouse blogger CaliValleyGirl just had a baby, and luckily for me, her husband pilots the most stuffed-animalizable military vehicle that exists!

See, you really can knit anything!
If anyone else would like to make their own knitted Chinook, the pattern can be found here.

I also belong to a group that makes knitted and crocheted preemie caps for the local hospital.  We made some 4th of July themed ones that I can't wait to give out.

Three cheers for military knitting!

What Does Support Look Like?

We hear a lot about "supporting the troops".  It's easy to say but what exactly does it mean? 

What does it look like?

The Mother of all Temper Tantrums

DH has been TDY for a little over two weeks now... until the end of summer.  Okay, I can handle that.  No, really, I can.  Honest! ;)

Last Tuesday my 8-year-old son had THE mother of all temper tantrums.  I was so in shock that all I could do was take deep breaths and try not to laugh (or scream).

It was in the morning and I was trying to pack lunches, get breakfast, and get ready for work.  Normal day routine stuff.  I told my kids to go get dressed.  No big deal, right?  Boy was I wrong that morning!!!

I Won?

The twins and I were driving back from paradise (aka Wegmans) and we had the following conversation although I don't remember how we got on the topic...

Did You Know?

New GI Bill Passes Congress

Retired Reserve/Guard TRICARE Bill

Navy Announces Bike Course

Snowball Express Coming in December

TRICARE Publishing Formulary

New Provision Extends CRSC Eligibility

Insomnia and Combat Veterans

Program Challenges Veterans

Patriot Hearts Offers Support

Silver Star Families Honor Medics

AF Marathon Reaches Record

Committee Approves Bill

Military Writers Wanted

Prayer Angels for the Military 

Armed Forces Children's Education Fund

Aviation Museum Preserves History

Commissaries Recall Some Tomatoes

Shawarma in Baghdad and Tomato Recalls

Being a Geardo is not the only side effect of the years my husband has spent in the military. 

The man started out the pickiest eater on Earth, but basic training right out of high school changed that.  He doesn't need to identify the food!  Just eat it!  And bugs?  It's a favorite party trick for the neighborhood children to catch grasshoppers and hand them over like some kind of delicacy.

Not only is he no longer the least bit picky, but the man no longer has any fear for health repercussions due to the food he's ingesting.

Army Wives Discussion Thread

You all are going to laugh at me for this - I totally know you are.

I missed Army Wives last night.  And I didn't just miss Army Wives, I missed Army Wives by alternately nodding off and being distracted and semi-conscious from a week of barfy kids and a weekend of "Hey!  Let's give Mom a virus!  I'll bet she'll LOVE that!"

Okay - the good, the bad, the ridiculous... You guys tell me, PLEASE!  How was it?  And don't worry about spoilers, either.  I always read the last chapter of the book first.

Previous Season Two Threads:

Season Two Premiere

Episode Two

In Limbo

My family has been living in limbo (or what I like to refer to as "hotel hell") for the last ten days and I'm sure we are not alone as PCS season is in full swing.  Luckily, mostly for my children, we are in the home stretch of this move.  One more day confined to just two rooms with my four children could be hazardous to their health!  At this point, the pool is a lifesaver.

Thankfully, our household goods will be delivered in the morning and we will be on our way to normalcy.  Well, at least as normal as things get for our family...  The two things I'm looking forward to the most are sleeping in my own bed again and being able to send the kiddos to their rooms when I'm tired of hearing them complain, whine, or fight. 

What do you find yourself missing, or looking forward to, the most when you're in limbo?

What Personality Type are You?

I took a Myers Briggs personality test several years ago.  I don't recall ever having done one before but the results were interesting and explained many things.

Want to know what your personality type is?     Click here.

My results and a Myers Briggs prayers joke are after the jump and I would love to know what your results are in comments!!!

CWCID: Cassandra and the Coffee Klatch

Money Tips for Military Families

Get some financial updates and tips after the jump.

Fit Club - Report In!

Okay, I'm running a little late this morning.  Between swim team practice, the kids that are still sick, and an emergency hair appointment... You know how it goes.

Tonight on SpouseBUZZ Radio!

Don't miss tonight's show!  We'll be joined by Marna Krajeski, Army wife and author of Household Baggage:  The Moving Life of a Soldier's Wife. 

Marna recently released another book - Household Baggage Handlers - with stories of the various facets of military life told from the perspective of 46 different spouses!   In fact, two SpouseBUZZ authors have contributions included!

We'll talk to Marna about her book, the military life, and the writing process! Don't miss this show tonight, at 9 pm Eastern!  As always, the chat room will be hopping.

Murphy's Law Yet Again

At our second duty station, I heard Murphy's Law for Milspouses described as the "Three Day Rule."  In other words, within three days of a deployment or TDY, expect some event that would utterly crush anyone not in SuperSpouse mode.

Three Things I Have Learned This Move

1.  Do not pack the calendar that holds every piece of information that your family of six needs to function.

2.  Try to keep same size sheets together.

3.  Reassemble the fridge before purchasing several hundred dollars worth of groceries.  Consider the possibility that your spouse will discover that the hinges are missing while you are purchasing said groceries.  If you fail to follow this suggestion, use packing tape to tape the doors to the fridge while you order new hinges.

HEART Act Signed Into Law

What does the HEART Act include?

When things don't go according to plan

I know it isn't smart to imagine(plan on) smooth sailing and perfection when anticipating reintegration.  But even when things seemed on the right track, what happens when things go downward rather quickly?

Where there was once good nature and even temper, what do you do when faced with threats and ultimatums?  Absolutely not threats of physical violence, let that be clearly stated.   But how do you respond when the patience and understanding you remember has been replaced by a much shorter and volatile fuse you don't know how to respond to?

In advance of the upcoming appointments, I was hoping for some comments about anyone else who might find themselves having faced similar issues.  Or might just have something to make the whole thing gain a helpful perspective.

Further Adventures of a Geardo

Air Force Guy left on Sunday for some additional training.  He packed like a Geardo.

Now, you may think that means that he packed all his gadgets, gizmos, helmets, knives, and 550 cord - but that's not quite how a Geardo packs.

Did You Know?

Casualties Under Reported?

VA Addresses Mortgage Crisis 

Survey Request: We Need Your Help 

Free Business Cards for Military.com Members

Congress Avoids Changing Ex-Spouse Law

Digital Records of Patient Information 

AF Changes Deployment Cycle

US Citizenship for Spouses

Patriot Express to Begin New Schedule

Women's Leadership Symposium

AF Personnel Center Webcasts

Senate Passes Mental Health Bill

Website Connects Troops, Families

Marine Corps Family Conference

Budget Cuts Quiet Salutes

VA Mental Health Care Hearings

Doolittle Raiders Honored

Groundbreaking for New PTSD Center

Homes for Our Troops

Free Concert for VFW Members

Army Battlemind Training Expanded

WWII Film Contributions Needed

AF Travel Card Provider to Change

"Jealous Wives Threaten Military Spouse Over Calendar"

Their headline, not mine. A couple of weeks ago, I received a press advisory about an Army wife/model who is selling a sexy calendar to help "boost troop morale." Her name is Alessandra Bosco and she is incredibly beautiful.

photo credit

Well, it seems that Alessandra and her soldier husband are having a rough go of it out in Germany. I've received some email about this and given that Alessandra's story is now in the news, I decided, somewhat grudgingly, to post about it.

The Summer of My Tribe

I immersed myself in Army Wives Season One last week and now I see everything in terms of that show.   It occurred to me that I do have a tribe and I'm going to spend much of this summer seeing them

Army Wives Discussion Thread: Season Two, Episode Two

Time to dissect episode two, so let's jump right in...

I found it ironic that when Chase unexpectedly returned home, Pamela chose to keep her distance from him for a while, because we were just discussing this very thing (emotional distance) on SpouseBUZZ before the show aired last night. Pamela had gone through a traumatic experience with the bombing at the Hump Bar, and she didn't have a way to contact Chase, so she did what we all do in a similar situation, she dealt with it alone.

Clearly Pamela realized two things; she can go it alone if she has to, but at the same time, she is beginning to realize how frustrating the secret nature of Chase's fairly new job is going to be. Pamela said to Chase, "I needed you then and I couldn't even call you." But, turnabout is fair play, and when Chase told Pamela that he was informed that her van was at the scene, the shoe was on the other foot.

The Wrong Thing Is Better Than Nothing At All

The last time I had a miscarriage, the phone rang off the hook.  Everyone called to check on me, to give me condolences, and to share optimism that next time would turn out better.

This time the house has been eerily silent.  The only calls have been from one of my aunts, and Andi.

Household Baggage Handlers: Our Stories

The wonderful Marna Krajeski has delivered a masterpiece with her new book, Household Baggage Handlers.

My copy just arrived yesterday and I dove right in. Household Baggage Handlers is a compilation of 56 stories from 48 military wives. The stories are great! From the back of the book, "With anecdotes from WWII to the present, these compelling stories capture a sisterhood forged by extraordinary circumstances." You can read excerpts here, and order the book here. The tireless Marna is already working on her next book, and your story could be featured in it. If you're interested in submitting a story, more information can be found here.

Marna will appear on SBTR soon to discuss Household Baggage Handlers, so stay tuned.

Actually, It Doesn't Sound Crazy at All ....

I was reading through the comments on other posts this morning and found this comment from "New to the Army":

I am having a real hard time with the emotional roller coaster of deployments.  Our first deployment was 18 months long.  My husband was scheduled to deploy again after our recent PCS.  Plans changed 4 days before he was supposed to catch a plane to Iraq and now he is at home.  Don't get me wrong I would much rather him be here than over there.  I spent 6 weeks getting emotionally prepared for him to leave.  I became that independant mom again.  I guess I am having a hard time reconnecting with him because of another deployment around the corner.  Is there anyone out there that can relate or am I just plain crazy????  I need help with my perspective. 

Someone else takes a ride on the emotional roller-coaster....

Nah, you're not "plain crazy." Sarah touched on this very point not too long ago. It often seems that the one thing we can count on in military life is uncertainty. Departures and arrivals constantly shift, and so do emotions. You prepare for the good-bye and then it's postponed, or moved up. A new reality to contend with.

It's tough and we all deal with this situation differently, but what New to the Army is going through is perfectly normal, and happens all too often.

Fit Club Special Update

Today at mass my pants fell down when I genuflected.

I don't know whether to be mortified or to do the Snoopy Dance.

I think I'll dance. 

Weekend Homework Assignment: Has War Changed You?

Last night, I was listening to Thursday's SBTR show with America's Favorite Mom, Patti Patton-Bader, and something Semper Fi Wife said caught my attention. She said, "I don't even know that I know who I was five years ago anymore. I'm not that person now." Semper Fi Wife and Patti were talking about how war, and serving those who serve, has a tendency to change one's outlook.

For so many people, war has changed everything.

Everything.

Tricare Through Civilian Eyes

I wrote two weeks ago about giving life-altering news over the phone to my husband in Iraq.  First I had to tell him I was pregnant.  Then I had to tell him the nurse said we'd probably lose the baby.  Then I got to happily tell him that I'd had an ultrasound and saw our baby's little heartbeat.

And then Thursday I had to tell him that the baby has died and that I have to miscarry without him.

I promise I'm not writing this post so I get a comments section full of sympathy (though it's nice and it does help.)  I'm writing it because it's related to something kinda funny.

Road Trip

What IS it about the summer that stirs up the desire to cram the fam in the car and DRIVE? Is it an urge that is stronger in military families? Or is it just me?

We've been at our current duty station for 3.5 years so, mentally, my brain is ready to move. Military life has conditioned me to anticipate a move every 2-3 years. That isn't happening this time and my poor brain didn't know what to do with itself. Until Macgyver came down on TDY orders for the summer.

AHA!

Military Wedding Vows

What if the mililtary wrote our wedding vows?

I imagine it would start off something like this...

Fit Club - Report In!

How did you do this week?  Because my butt was back in gear!!!

I have a hodge-podge of stuff for you this week, so bear with me after the jump!

A Visit With Mom

As my mother and I drove to the airport after her two-week visit, we made a joke about an annoying thing my grandma used to do. My mom chuckled and then said, "You know, I wish I hadn't let little things like that bug me so much. I don't know, maybe that doesn't make sense." But it does make sense to me. My mom and I haven't always had the easiest time getting along. We have different personalities and lifestyles, and I have my dad's impatience. But in recent years we've learned to do OK together and get along on our trips.

I said goodbye to her at the security gate and then started to walk away. And by the time I got to the car, I was crying.

Tonight on SpouseBUZZ Radio!

We will be talking to the wonderful Patti Patton-Bader, founder of Soldier's Angels and winner of NBC's America's Favorite Mom contest! 

Soldier's Angels is a wonderful organization, devoted to helping service-members and their families.  I have had the privilege of adopting several deployed service-members through them, and it has been a tremendously rewarding experience.

Join us tonight as we talk in depth about Soldier's Angels with Patti and what it was like to be crowned by Donny and Marie Osmond.

Click over to our Blog Talk Radio station at 9 pm Eastern.  As always, our chat room will be hopping!  You don't want to miss it!

Military Families Beware - Again

These type of things crop up from time to time.  Be very aware.

Scammers back to prey on troops’ families

It was just like Disney!!!

I confess.  I love grocery stores.  It's all about the thrill of the hunt to find the latest new product/taste sensation.  Lancelot is mystified by this quirk of mine.

Back to the Wild

Whenever we move I go through a honeymoon phase.  I think everything in our new location is neat.  I think the local flora and fauna are gorgeous.  I love the grocery stores, I like the people, I look forward to waking up every morning and doing something new.

The honeymoon phase here is now officially OVER.

I Heart TRICARE (Seriously)

With the exception of Sarah, we've all had bad TRICARE experiences, right? :)

I know I've had my fair share of nightmares, although I'm not convinced they were necessarily TRICARE's fault.

Before I married Scout, I had my own "good" insurance, but I still had an overbooked doctor, long waits in the lobby, and even longer waits in the pharmacy line. But on top of it all, I also had co-payments (and worried about my financial obligations should I ever need an ambulance ride or a round of chemotherapy).

With the birth of my niece (born today, 11 pounds, 3 ounces!) my sister and I have been discussing the costs involved with having a baby outside of the military. I was SHOCKED to find out that her and her husband are paying more in medical costs to HAVE their child than Scout and I paid to ADOPT ours. And they have "good" insurance.

Is Today Monday?

Occasionally we all have 'one of those days' - don't we?

Today was that type of day for me. A day that I wanted to pretend never happened. A day where I just wanted to go back to bed, sleep it off and start anew tomorrow.  It felt like a Monday.

Part II: Do you feel "left behind?"

I must apologize.  When I wrote my original post about feeling left behind I had every intention in the world to write a follow-up post within a few days (as I kindly wrote in my first post).  But, alas... I was once again swept up by my life and have done "mental head-slaps" when I think about writing this follow-up post while I am at work, or nowhere near a computer.  So here goes... (FYI - you may want to read the original post in order to know what the heck this one means).

I had many different responses to the question "Do you feel 'left behind' when your spouse is deployed/TDY?" I knew the responses would differ, all of which have very valid reasons for said feelings.  So here's why I asked: