Of Greed and Good Sportsmanship

Tonight I had the opportunity to attend my very first ever on-post sports picnic.  In lieu of having individual team or league parties, the post holds one big event at the end of the year.  I was looking forward to the usual picnic fare and the opportunity to enjoy a bit of friendship before we move next week.  What ensued was far from what I expected.

More after the jump...

From the moment we arrived, the only thing that really interested my kids was the shockingly large and expensive array of door prizes that was prominently displayed behind makeshift fencing.  While we waited in line to check in, my children were eyeballing the goods with amazement.  I tried to remind them that we'd come for dinner and play, and they were convinced for a while. We managed to get some food into everyone and then, just when the kids were really settling into the playground, the drawings began.  There was fanfare about the grant that had been won to provide these prizes and how wonderful it was that they could give away so many things, even more than last year.

As the first few numbers were drawn, I was still slightly in awe of the volume of stuff.  As the prize winning continued, my feelings began to change.  The first winner selected the flat-screen, high def television as their prize.  The next dozen winners scored small stereo systems, bikes and MP3 players.  One of my kids was in that first bunch and I saw a side of myself that I don't like, as the family yelled across the fencing to "pick the stereo."   Somewhere during the electronics spree, the tone began to change.  Kids were less happy for each other, they were getting upset that they hadn't won.  The rain began to fall, and the throng around the caller remained intent.  Kids were getting upset as parents strongly suggested that they choose the bicycles over the soccer balls.  Parents clutched soggy tickets as they huddled under tents, eying the remaining basketballs and horseshoe sets.

By the time the last number was drawn, much of the crowd was soaked, and the remaining non-winners were dispirited.  One parent commented about how unhappy his son was going to be, and I jokingly said that he'd have to buy him a new soccer ball since he didn't win. Unfortunately, I might have been right.  I'm sure if we hadn't fled from the wet weather, I would have seen tears somewhere.

As I watched the event unfold, I came to the conclusion that I didn't really like it at all.  All year, I've praised the post youth sports program for its emphasis on fun and fair play.  This culminating event seemed to undo all the efforts of the year by turning youth sports into an exercise in chance and greed.  It seems to me that it would have been better to send every kid home with a ball (or three) than to spend thousands of dollars on prizes for only a portion of the players.

I have a lot of questions, and maybe y'all have some answers.  I wonder if this is an unusual thing here at our post, or if it is common on military bases.  I must admit, I've never seen anything like it in the civilian world.  But living on post this year, I have seen big gifts given away at all kinds of events:  bike rodeos, Easter brunches, and Spouses' Club Luncheons.  While I enjoy a good door prize as much as the next girl, the sheer abundance of stuff given away this year has amazed me.  When I think of all the needs of our troops and their families, it seems inappropriate to give away so many indulgences.

So, what do you think?

(In the interest of full disclosure, I must say that my family did win more than one prize.  I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't figure out how to suddenly institute a rule that our family could only win one prize, and I'm not sure if that is what I wanted to do anyway.  I'm going to have to think about that one and come up with a plan for future events.  Also, my behavior was not exactly commendable through this event. In fact, I reduced one daughter to tears as I tried to direct her prize choice.  I'm not proud of it, but it happened.)

Comments

[SeabeeSeniorWife]

I was just at a year end band concert for my daughter last night where a few awards and gifts were given out. They were small gifts of appreciation but afterward, some of the moms felt that either all should have gotten an award and gift or none should have gotten them. I have to say, I was a dissenting voice in the group because I really feel that children need to learn acceptance of not being the receipient and having good feelings toward those who do receive an award or gift. Life will never be equal and there is much more character built by a parent who can give that gift of acceptance and compassion to their children. We need to learn to be happy for those that get an award or win a prize. Of course, I'm the person in the crowd that will yell "good shot" when the other team scores a goal. Get's me in trouble at times.

Saying that, I do agree that smaller, more equal prizes would have been more appropriate for an event such as you've described. Better yet, an event where a few of the kids win a sports ball of some sort and then the rest of the sports balls/equipment get to be divided by the kids into bins for different charities that could really use them. Some for their own rec program, some for an inner city day care, some sent to areas where there have been natural disasters in our country, etc. Just a thought, but like I said, these thoughts have been known to get me in trouble many times.

[MO]

I think events on military installations give away door prizes to get people to show up. It's really sad that people are more apt to show up if there is a chance they could get something out of it but that's how it seems. I personally don't want to win more junk for my house, maybe if somebody wins and they don't feel right about it they could turn around and give it to charity or save it for Toys for Tots come Christmas time. Make it something positive.

[Linda]

one thing that struck me was that they allowed the kids to pick what they wanted. This is what made it quite unfair. In the interest of equity...they should have randomly picked a gift, then picked a number. That might have meant the 2nd number would win the lawn darts, but the 20th number would win the flat screen.

But all of this definitely did not point to good sportsmanship...

[Jewel]

I didn't even like the fact that each child received a trophy just for participating when my son played team sports years ago. Whatever happened to picking the MVP and most improved athlete? The only thing this teaches our kids is to sign up to play a sport in hopes of getting a big pay-off when the season is over. No wonder we see so many college athletes leaving school early in hopes of making it rich in the pros.

[HH7]

Wow! Times have changed. I played sports growing up and at the end of the season we got a team picture, a certificate of participation, and certain players that excelled got recognized with small, individual trophies.

They do a lot of raffles here too. FRGs are getting big into it to boost attendance which I think is a crock but that's a whole 'nother soapbox. They do try to keep it fair/random so usually the prizes are wrapped and you don't know what you're picking or they are randomly assigned a number and if prize #18 is up for give-away and you're the lucky winner you could end up with a pack of Army Strong pencils and a keychain and the person next to you won the coveted iPod or a spa certificate. I won a turkey at a race once. Weird yes, but it was great b/c I didn't have to buy one for Thanksgiving. And isn't the randomness supposed to be the fun part of a raffle anyway? You never know what you're gonna get. (insert Forrest Gump voice here)

Maybe I am a pessimist when it comes to how people react in these situations but it seems like it's starting to become a part of our society's mentality to forget about just being happy that we won something and instead we focus on what we're getting in comparison to the people around us. I've seen this type of attitude carry over to homecoming activities too. Instead of celebrating it's become a competition between units on post. Who can get what in donations, who raised the most money, whose party was "stupid", whose was the best, "did you hear what xyz did...why didn't we do that?" It's really sad when we have so much to be proud of but it's not good enough unless we've spent a ton of money for all the glitz and glitter.

And you're right, I think a lot of the donations could be put to better use, especially the monetary grants. Why not dump those funds back into the programs themselves so they can be expanded and/or improved?

[wendy's tiki hut]

Those kinds of drawings are tricky. I'm not a fan of them (maybe because we just don't seem to win.) But they seem to be popular here, too.

We went to a deployed family dinner/bingo night a couple months ago. They had loads of prizes, but it seems like my kids would have been just as happy to play to win a sticker or candy.

The problem that night was that one family seemed to win and win and win. I like to think that if it was me I would have quietly told my kids to stop calling out "bingo" after the 2nd or 3rd win...