Observations: The Extended Military Family

We often focus on the sisterhood (and brotherhood) of spouses here at SpouseBUZZ because, well, that's what SpouseBUZZ is all about. But over the past couple of days, I discovered that these bonds reach far beyond our fellow spouses, and it was a wonderful discovery.

The SpouseBUZZ team (minus two) began making their way to Washington last Sunday for a meet-up (little bit of business and a lot of pleasure). The nerve center was airforcewife's house. I arrived at the nerve center on Monday afternoon and was greeted by the smallest and youngest segments of airforcefamily - the kids. Before I could even get my door open, airforceboy was reaching in my car to give me a hug, and I got three or four more before I reached the front door! As soon as I stepped out of the car, the youngest airforce daughter excitedly approached me to show off her new caterpillar, and we had a discussion about the various colors of caterpillars. Once I finally got out of the car, the middle daughter ran to my car. "Hi, Ms. Andi. Oh, that's our neighbor's parking place, can you move your car here?" And with that, the traffic director guided me into a new parking spot.

When I finally made it to the door, I was greeted by another airforcechild. Of the four-legged variety. Ike, the pit bull was very happy to see me, and he's the sweetest thing ever. I think my phobia of pit bulls is now history.

During the evening, various airforce daughters would tap my arm and share stuff with me, or ask me questions.

Ms. Andi, did you see my earrings?

Ms. Andi, this is my cactus that we planted. Which kind is your favorite cactus?

"Ms. Andi," one asked with a grin on her face, "can I take a picture of you with your wine glass?" Ha!

The airforcekids interacted in the same way with the other gals and guy, and something struck me. These kids have only met the SpouseBUZZ team once, at Ft. Bragg. They didn't really know us from that whirlwind of a weekend, they knew us because their mom talks about us at home (I hope she chooses her stories carefully). Having nine strangers over to their home wasn't weird and they didn't need a period of time to warm up to us. These people were, after all, part of their extended family, and that was clear.

I don't have kids, but I have noticed that kids can sometimes be shy or reserved when they meet new people. And since I don't have kids, I have no idea if there is generally a difference between military kids and civilian kids and how they approach meeting new people, but what I came away believing was that the bonds between military spouses extend to the entire military family.

Of course, anyone would feel comfortable in airforcefamily's home, but often times, guests look to the hostess/host to make them feel comfortable in their home. In this case, the kids set the tone before I even opened the front door. How great is that?

Comments

[airforcewife]

I personally think my kids were just looking for a way to escape. :)

[Sarah]

I had the same experience with AirForceKids. They were fighting over who got to sit by me! Gosh, I felt loved.

[ArmyReserveWife]

Sign of good parenting! Ours attack people at the door too. ok, maybe it is the military life! LOL

[Writing Military Mom]

I think it is military kids. They meet new people all the time and as a result become comfortable with them more quickly.

[Mike]

It's definitely different for military kids.

When we moved to Brooklyn for a one-year tour -- coming out of Korea -- my 9-yr old daughter came home from her first day of public school and said, "Dad...oh my god check this out...there are kids in my school who have gone to the SAME school for FIVE years!!"

[Shanna]

Andi, did you check your trunk for a stow-away? Haha. It really does extend to the kids, I know I have "my babies" (neighborhood kids I've taken a liking to) all over the world! Mike- too funny! 5 Whole years!!!! My daughter is in 5th grade and in her 4th school.

[NavyMomCAB]

I read the milspouse postings at least once a week and I think it's a great support system. However, there's one segment of extended familes that seems to be forgotten, or overlooked -- military moms and dads, the grandparents. We help our sons, daughters and grandchildren in so many ways, and believe me, there's no one who worries more when someone they love is deployed to a hot spot than his/her Mama. My oldest son has been in the Navy for 18 yrs., my youngest son has been a corpsman for 4 yrs., and my daughter just enlisted as a yeoman. Is there a discussion group I've missed?

[JesWith1S]

I grew up as a military brat. My dad was enlisted in the Navy for 17 years before being medically discharged. I'm 23 now, and my dad has been out of the navy for 6 now... but I'm dating an Army boy (much to my parent's dismay! HA!) who's been deployed to Iraq three times now, so I never fell far away from the Military world. I kind of agree with this article based on my own experiences, the only thing I wanted to note was that as a kid I recall being much more friendly and open with kindred military souls. I was at home with all military adults, and their children anytime they come over or we went to someone else's house... but I did find myself feeling shy and alienated in groups that were not military. When I was in new public schools, or was doing youth sports leagues with civilian kiddos... I was very shy and withdrawn. So, I think the one thing that was left out of this article is that for some reason kids can just TELL when they're interacting with a kindred military soul, and that makes them more comfortable. I figured the parents wouldn't really think about that and had to add my "from-the-eyes-of-the-military-kid" perspective to it.

[Tixieanna]

I have been readin these comments from you all about the support you get. I wish I had support from family and friends like you all are saying that you have. My husband has been deployed for the past year(he'll be home in two weeks, and I have been so alone with no family caring enough to call, no one at church offering to do something fun with the kids, or anyone just spontaneously calling to say hi. My mother-in-law called just once. I think I would have had more support if I lived on or very near the military post. I am finishing up my PhD, and this year has been unspeakably stressful. Civilians like those in my evangelical church community are clueless about military affairs, and their focus is so narrowly defined on "winning the world" to Christ, and missions to those poor destitute ones out there, that they totally bypass their own. I will be leaving that church. I did not want to disrupt the kids before now.