The Military Name Game

Yesterday I happened across this at Loquita's Blog, which she quoted from Life As I Know It:

The guys always refer to each other by last names, except those who are close or see each other outside their service. The wives, on the other hand, always refer to their husbands and everyone by their first name, which means I have absolutely no stinking clue who they are referring to. I was recapping the meeting with Will and I said, “Lindsey and Joey…” and he cocked his head and asked me who Joey was. I told him Lindsey’s husband. I don’t know their last name. He doesn’t know their first name. Mystery couple…one of many.

Yep, been there.  I never know who belongs with whom.  And I know of a couple of wives who wanted to keep their maiden name until they realized what a pain in the neck it is in the military to have a different last name from your sponsor, especially in social settings.

And then I had a wife who had no idea who my husband was from either his first or his last name.  Turns out the platoon had given him a nickname, and that's all she knew.

Ah, the name game.

Comments

[She of the Sea]

It does make for some interesting conversations, doesn't it? I can clearly remember, at a Wives' Club meeting (yes, it was a long time ago, when we were still wives), asking loudly, "Who the heck is this Cheese guy I hear so much about?"

A friend replied, "That's my husband!" Fifteen years later and I still wonder if I offended her somehow.

[AF Newlywed]

Hi Ladies,

I'm new to this site, just got married to an Air Force Officer in February. I can say I'm used to moving around since my father did 30 plus years in the Army. The one thing I'm struggling with is the lonlieness. I work a full time job, i've been doing it for 8 years, but now I work it from home and my new hubby works all kinds of odd hours. I'm in my early 30's we dont have kids yet, heck we just are now settling down in a house after getting married in February and dating long distance for 18 months. Any advice for a newbie here? :) I would be most appreciative.

Thanks!
J

[Elisa]

That is hilarious! Because it is SO TRUE!

It took me a few weeks to figure out that the girl I was hanging out with so much was my husband's commander's fiance!

So it goes...

[Jewel]

Just when I think I know who my husband is talking about, he starts using their call signs! That really throws me for a loop!

AF Newlywed, welcome and congratulations!! I know how lonesome you must feel. It's tough at times meeting people, isn't it? My advice to you is to attend squadron/base functions, squadron spouse group meetings, etc in order to meet the other spouses in your husband's unit. Or how about inviting a few of your husband's co-workers and their significant others over for a barbecue?

[AF Newlywed]

Thanks Jewel, great advice. Once we get the boxes away at the house we will set up a BBQ. :) This sit is great! Appreciate the feedback.

J

[Andi]

AF Newlywed - Welcome aboard. Jewel offers some great advice. I would just add that you can't underestimate the amount of support you can get from online communities such as SpouseBUZZ.

Also, check the MSN and see if there is a group in your area. See the post below:

http://www.spousebuzz.com/blog/2007/10/virtual-support.html

[She of the Sea]

AF Newlywed, Welcome! It can be lonely at times, but you will also make some extra special friends. While I love my civilian friends, my military friendships have a special extra bit in them. We're glad you've found us!

[airforcewife]

Oh, TOTALLY been there!

Worst case scenario ever - one guy in my husband's office had a first name that sounded like a last name and a last name that could be either a first name or a last name.

I could never get them straight and I kept calling him, "Last name... first name... last name... WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"

[SeabeeSeniorWife]

Being a reserve wife, we rarely get together with other military couples except those that are close friends of my hubby. On the rare occasion that there is a social function, most of the wives don't know each other. Also, if they're like me, they can't look at someone in uniform and immediately discern their rank. Therefore, many times my straight-laced, by-the-book hubby has been horrified that I was speaking with Admiral ___ and calling him by his first name. LOL In all fairness, since I didn't know anyone and introduced myself by my first name, it stands to reason that they introduced themselves by first name too. Even after 17 years, I'm still horrible with rank and rates and have caused many social blunders in my hubby's viewpoint. Poor guy!

[MO]

This completely made me laugh. I have been there too many times and still am :)

[Tiffany]

When DH and I were dating in college he would always call me by my last name (which helped, since my roommate and I shared the same first name). After we got married he had to train himself to call me by my first name, although I still respond to my last (maiden) name when friends call me that as well.

When I meet some of the guys in his batallion these days and they introduce themselves by their first name I usually ask their last name (unless they're wearing a uniform, of course, because I can read it myself). I don't hear the guys referred to by their first name in our household, so I call them by their last name, too. :)

[Marine Wife]

The call signs don't help, either. Stretch had a job where they all went by their radio call signs -- numbers followed by Alpha, Bravo, Chuck, etc. For crying out loud! We never knew who the other was talking about.

Oh, and I'm one of those wives who didn't and hasn't changed her name (we've been married 10 years). At first, I liked it b/c it gave me a degree of anonymity. Now, Stretch likes it for the same reason. He points out that if I start any "trouble" that it will take longer to track down who my husband is. To be fair, though, both times he was called on the carpet b/c of me, they found him pretty fast...

[Penny]

I definitely had a few laughs when I read this post. When I first got here I call all of Dh's friends by their last name.. only b'c I didn't know that it was their last name. They almost all have last names that are first names so I got lost. Once I met a wife of soldier and she was talking about her Dh I had no idea who he was.. until I asked what his last name was and found out he was a good friend of ours and his wife had just moved down! hehe.. As fas as my friends go, I call their Dh's by their first names.. but it's definitely a big name game in the military ^_~

[Christine]

Marine Wife - Hehe..I love having kept my last name for the same reason! Love the anonymity!

[Kiki]

This is so true. The thing that I always find funny is when you get to know one of the guys by their last names and then you finally find out their first name and it never seems to fit. "He doesn't look like a Daniel!"

[Galeforcewynd]

When I was a little girl my maiden name was VERY hard to spell (Sicilian name). I looked forward to the day when I could marry and take my husband's name. Little did I know, I would marry a man with an Arabic name that was harder to spell than my own. It does make things easier in social situations though.

As for calling friends by their last names... DH had a buddy in AIT named Dean. He was SO pumped for me to meet Dean... I finally met his friend and to my shock, Dean was a female. I had been assuming the whole time that Dean was a male. Silly me! : p