You Really Can't Run Away

The weekend begins tomorrow with the arrival of my inlaws and my other daughter.  My mother arrives Saturday and Lancelot has to leave Sunday for another week's travel.  I had a couple of Aha!! moments this week with the email about LCPL Dark Prince's APO address and making some final shopping arrangements for his imminent departure.  It is real.  It is going to happen.  I have been a crybaby the past couple of days.

True to my nature, I ran away from home today.  I didn't clean my house as I should have.  I didn't make preparations for the arrivals. 

I had coupons and gift cards and decided that today would be a great day to use them.  What a grand plan I had!!  Borders and then Target and then Bed, Bath and Beyond and THEN Yankee  Candle and the Sports Authority and Bath and Body Works.

I forgot something though and that something left me dead in my tracks this afternoon.  In order to get to the Yankee Candle store,  I had to pass the Armed Forces Recruiting office at Potomac Mills.

Yankee Candle is a spa thing for me.  I love their candles (although Sly sent me one that sounds like a fireplace when lit..all popping and crackling..loved it).  Their candles have been an aromatherapy anchor for me on past deployments.  I love Meadow Mist, Mango Blossom, Vanilla Lime, Sicilian Orange and Midsummer's Night candles.  The scents make me feel good and right now, I'm all about the "feel good".

Passing the Armed Forces Recruiting office, I noticed a very young guy coming in with paperwork in his hands.  His mother was with him and I flashed back to several years ago when I was in her shoes.

Several years ago, the Dark Prince was getting ready to graduate from high school the next day.  I had family in for this auspicious occasion.  I also had to go the day after his graduation to a memorial service for two Marines from our battalion who had died in service to their country.  My husband was in Iraq.  On top of that, I had to go THAT very day to the Recruiter's office and sign my son's paperwork so that he could be slated to attend boot camp.  I halfheartedly tried to talk my son into being a cook.  Yeah..I know....but I had to at least mention it.  If for no other reason, humor's sake.

When I saw that mom today, I recognized the body language.  I saw fear and tension, to be sure but also pride.  I wanted so much to go over and hug her.  I wanted to tell her that her son was choosing a worthy endeavor and that she would find an incredible network of support and love.  We milfamilies are very good about this. 

I wanted to tell her that I knew what she was feeling.  I wanted to give her my phone number and tell her to call me if she needed to talk to someone.  I wanted to shake her son's hand as I would an adult's and congratulate him on making an adult decision. 

Ultimately, I didn't do that...not because I don't believe all of the thing I've listed above.  I didn't do that because I felt like I was intruding.  Having done what that mom did today, I can tell you that it's a private thing.  After I signed papers for LCPL Dark Prince, I wanted to be left alone for a little while.     I wanted to give her the same space that I carved out for myself that afternoon.

So, for that mom and any other parent who have signed papers recently, I am thinking of you and lighting my Vanilla Lime candles for you tonight.  In the future, please know that Spousebuzz is here for you too and soon, there will be a Parent Buzz as well.  With the stroke of that pen, you have joined a family like no other.  I know it's a heady leap of faith.  We're here and we're leaving the candle lit for you.  You come when you're ready.

 

 

Comments

[Cassandra]

I love this. Just love it. And I so needed to read something good today.

[Jewel]

Beautifully written; you have me in tears!

[Andi]

Lovely post.

For the record, I'm a Yankee girl, too. My favorites are Buttercream and Clean Linen. Great scents. I have them burning from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. It's comforting to the soul.

[Erin]

Very well written, I'm not even a parent and I'm getting a little emotional over here!

[HomefrontSix]

Wow. What an incredible insight. Thank you for sharing that.

[SeabeeSeniorWife]

SFW - Wow, very touching, thanks for sharing. You are such a strong person. Keeping you and your son in our prayers.

[Laura, a Military Mom]

Those of us that are Military Parents have a special bond without even knowing it. This week I passed on my yellow lapel pin to a vendor that we use, as his son is deploying this week out of Ft. Hood (which just happens to be where my #1 son just returned to in Jan after is 15mo Iraq deployment). I also gave the family a blue star flag and a yellow ribbon for their tree, they were overwhelmed and thankful...especially since they had been looking for those items and had no idea where to find them. Their son is a medic and this is his first deployment and has been told it will be 18mo...parents need to know that there are others out there that have been there and are still there and will support and help them...hugs to all those parents.

[plibarmywife]

Laura - I passed my yellow ribbon (worn for both son and DH) on to a co-worker who had her Marine son going back to the Sand for the 2nd time. I hope it stayed lucky for her.

Laura, please get in touch if you can, need to talk to moms/dads about the new page. If you go to my blog, you'll find the email address.

LAW

[Purpletlarr]

I am the parent of a Soldier that has been to Iraq twice. I will forever remember the day we, as a family took him to the recruiting station to be sent off to basic training. What a leap that was. A leap of faith in him,us, and the United States of America. That image is buned forever in my mind. As is the image of him coming home from his first deployment and arriving in Ft. Hood. What an image that is. I still cry thinking about it.

[wifeunit]

Amazing post! Candles really are a form of therapy. I hope you are enjoying your days with your son and look forward to the post that he is back home.

[MrsArmyWIfe]

Me, too... I'm bawling like a baby!!

[Sharon Wengryn]

I remember the day I brought my 18 yr old Daughter to the recruiting station to be sent off to boot camp. When she was called to get on the bus I felt instantly nauseous. She walked through that door and I went outside just in case I got sick. I looked up at the bus she was on and saw my Daughter with a huge smile on her face, waving like she was getting on the school bus for the first time. At that moment I felt at ease knowing that she had made the best decision for her life and I am forever proud of her determination, spirit and sense of brotherhood.