I have an idea...

Something like this may already exist in one or more places in our military community, but I have yet to hear about it.  So just in case, I'm throwing an idea out there that I think could really help families of wounded troops. I'm kinda piggy-backing off Andi's post regarding changes to our military (as a whole) that we mil-spouses think would be beneficial.

Here goes... (this is a bit longer than I intended, but I encourage you to read to the end)

When I was a Family Readiness Group (FRG) leader while my husband was deployed, our battalion set up Family Care Teams (FCT) to support the families of soldiers who were killed while deployed.  The FCTs were not just FRG leaders - it was ANYone in the battalion who wanted to volunteer as part of a team.  There were 4 people per team and each team was on a rotation.  In case of a KIA, the FCT on call would be there to help the family of the killed soldier.  The FCT would not go to the house until proper notification had been given and ONLY if the family wanted the FCT's support.  It was a great idea and we prepared the best we could.  I have to say that our battalion was truly blessed - we only had one KIA from our battalion.

When my husband was wounded he was the first one (from our battalion) who had to go to Walter Reed.  We had a few others wounded before him, but those soldiers returned to our duty station for medical care. 

We had A LOT of support from our battalion, friends, and family.  It was quite overwhelming, actually, but I will never forget the love and support we were given.  After returning from WR (the FIRST time), another soldier in our battalion was wounded.  I was not in the same company FRG as his wife, but I called her as soon as I heard.  I started getting calls from her FRG asking me how they could help her.  I gave my input.  I had a nagging feeling to go and see her "just because."  She lived about 20 minutes away from post, so I made her some dinner and DH and I drove to her house.  She had a 2-year-old and a newborn at home.  We showed up without warning.  She was quite surprised and kept saying, "Don't tell anyone you saw me like this!  I don't have any make-up on!"  DH and I didn't care what she looked like or anything else... we cared about HER and her family. We sat and talked with her and played with her kids for over an hour.  Then we left and I told her to call me ANY TIME.

A short while later, I was told by a few other battalion spouses that the spouse we went to visit was so grateful for me and DH taking the time to go see her.  I also found out that we were the ONLY ones from the battalion who went to see her (aside from the Rear D Commander).  Uh.... WHAT?!?!?!?!  I was mad when I heard this.  I couldn't believe that NO ONE else from our battalion had gone to see her. 

So here's where this is going (my "idea").  Much like the FCTs we had set up for families of KIAs... we needed FCTs for families of our wounded.  How hard would that be?  Not hard at all.  And the most crucial time when help is needed is when the family returns from the hospital (whether it's a local hospital or WR or BAMC, etc.).

So I ask you, if you are in a position to offer this idea for your unit, PLEASE do so.  Especially if a deployment is on the horizon or your unit is currently deployed.  I wonder how many other families of wounded have to "go it alone."  It's not fair and it should NOT happen.

Comments

[Stephanie]

Such a great concept.

We had one wounded (though not sent home) early in this tour and I emailed our leader about supporting the wives in events like that and worse. I was thanked but essentially brushed off because I wasn't part of the volunteers. Sad, really ...

[Joan D'Arc]

Stephanie, What do you mean you weren't "part of the volunteers?" You husband is deployed, correct? Then you ARE part of the volunteers, whether or not you are a leader of any sort. See, that's what makes me sooooooo angry! When leaders don't do what they are supposed to do - LEAD! And part of being a leader is listening to others and taking ideas from other people. Arrrgggg! That makes me so mad! Sorry you were brushed off. Is there anyone else you can go to in the unit who may listen? Like the Rear D Commander? Maybe talk with other spouses in your unit about this idea and see what others are thinking. It doesn't have to me done by the "leaders." Let me know if I can be of any help. And thanks for thinking of our wounded and their families! :)

[SLB]

Thank you for sharing this!

[Vypergirl]

That is such a great idea! Our unit is here is small and our FRG is very young. I don't think that anyone with an injured or KIA spouse would without support. I will definitely take this with me when it is our time to go to a new unit and join a new FRG. I am surprised that this is not happening in all FRG's at this point....

[GBear]

I have to say that I'm shocked! I can't believe there's not an official group assigned to do this. With a 95% battlefield survival rate, you'd think someone would have thought to support the families of those who are wounded. Now that we know there isn't - what can we do to change the sad situation? Ideas?????

[Joan D'Arc]

GBear, I am working on a remedy for this with Soldiers Angels. I will do my best to make sure this problem does not continue!!!

[L]

I know this was posted quite some time ago, but im just reading it now, and wanted to let you know that im on a care team, and we get called on for our wounded also.
My husband was hurt in 2006 and down at WR also, at the time there wasnt any formal support for me from my unit either