Random Thought of the Day

I miss the SpouseBUZZ t-shirt babe every.single.day. He was our baby. He's been gone for over a year now, but I still think about him, and miss him. Two days ago, I had a mini-meltdown and sobbed uncontrollably.

If we were a civilian family and had been stationary during our dog's lifetime, I likely would have buried him in the backyard where he grew up and played and soaked up the sunshine. That's how we did things where I grew up. Instead, I had his remains cremated. When we moved, he wasn't handed over to the packers, I brought the box of his ashes with me in the car.

After my meltdown, I remembered that our baby is still with us. I went to the box and oddly, it made me feel better to know that he's with me and always will be. The thought of my dog being buried in a yard that was one of six yards he had during his lifetime, and one that we may or may not own in the future, would upset me. So, I began thinking about military families and pets. Unique challenges, for sure.

How have you chosen to handle the remains of pets you've lost? 

Comments

[Melanie]

Hi There,

I definitely feel your pain. I did the same thing with my dog. I knew I was marrying a marine, and because I had her from the time I was 8 until my sophomore year in college (2005), I knew I couldn't "leave her" in a yard that I wouldn't be residing at once I graduated.

I knew marrying into the military would move us around a lot, so like you, I wanted to take her with me. I had her remains cremated, and she is in a beautiful urn, and always close by. I know she always with us, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Dogs are children in fur coats, and they are our family, so how could we leave them somewhere we won't be? I, like yourself, couldn't do that.

P.S. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Armywife23yrs+]

My daughter was 11 when her very first pet had to be put to sleep. She understood the moving part of our lives so she explained to her daddy that we could not bury our pet in the backyard as we would have to dig her when we moved. It has been 7 yrs now and she still packs the urn in her suitcase when we move.

[KL]

My cat Calliope was such a good Navy brat, she turned me into the crazy cat lady at the end of the road - we would have actual conversations each time my husband deployed (yes, I've been evaluated, no I wasn't committed... for long). When she passed after a short, sweet life of only thirteen years, I had her cremated and drove her to my grandfather's memorial, where I spread her ashes. My Grandaddy was like an animal whisperer, every species of four-leggedness flocking to him when he entered the room, so I knew she'd be right at home there. And I knew I'd have plenty of opportunities to visit her that way.

[LMT]

I have not yet had to do this as a milspouse. Before I became a milspouse we were able to bury our pets in the backyard and 'visit them' under the shade tree. My oldest 'baby' is getting up there though and has many health issues. I already decided that when the time comes I will cremate him and carry his ashes with us when we move each time. He is a dog, but he is also a milpet. He has traveled more and lived in more places than your average pet and has done it with grace. Even when the airlines lost him for 4 hours!

Our last installation had a pet cemetary and I know many people who took advantage of that offering. They took moments to visit from time to time as well as to go and say a final goodbye when PCSing.