Don’t you just hate…

when it’s "VIP’s have right of way with the grocery carts at the commissary" day and you didn’t get one of those badges?

Yes, it’s Thanksgiving week but last week was payday.  I couldn’t avoid this disaster but I noticed how aggressive and nasty the cart drivers were today!

I mean…sweet little old ladies who probably bake cookies for the neighborhood kids and butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths were taking out the weaker among us with abandon.  And relish

Mother and daughter tag teams of grocery carts were blocking aisles as they PLANNED their Thanksgiving menu in the store.  That’s right…planning it in the store.

Retired Marines were blocking traffic so that they could read labels.  Dudes, nobody gains weight over Thanksgiving.  Put down that can or put it in your cart but either way…get out of the way!!  The little old ladies are coming and they are mad!!!

And for the love of God, people…do not stand to the side of your cart and push it down the aisle.       You’re slowing the flow of traffic in either direction and that will not do.

I swear I miss the good old days where there were arrows on the floor and people followed them.  And glared at anyone bold enough to go against the directional flow.  And the offenders were shamed back into the fold.

One could consider the rules of the commissary aisles to be like the rules of the road: 

Merge.   Yield right of way.  Do not speed.  Do not impede the flow of traffic.

I want a horn!!!  I want a commissary traffic cop!!!

Vent over…I feel much better.  Carry on.

About the Author

SemperFi Wife

Semper Fi Wife has had a military ID card continuously since she was ten years-old. As an Air Force brat, she horrified her father and grandfather when she chose to marry one of the few and the proud.

Almost 25 years later, she is the wife of an OIF vet and the mother of an OIF/OEF vet.

While her motto has always been "Sanity is overrated", in her more lucid moments, she volunteers with Injured Marine Semper Fi fund as well as heads up her own very small military support organization called Honor Their Service.

  • LOL! I went shopping last week to avoid such a day.
    The arrows on the floor of the commissary used to bug me, but there are days that I do wish for them again.
    You forgot about the people that get distracted and leave their cart in the middle of the aisle while they compare prices with coupons. Oh, yeah, that was me. :) Sorry if I was in anyones way last week.

  • Hee hee! I remember the arrows on the floor, too. I braved the comm last Friday because I wanted to avoid it this week… boy was I ever sorry. Payday and the weekend before the holiday, not pretty.
    I knew I had really “made” it, a few years back when a little old lady came up to me and said “I can see that you are one of the few people who know how to shop correctly in the commissary.” Made up for all the other times when I’ve nearly been run over!

  • I am rolling on the floor, I tell ya! I went today as well and I DO want a buggy (or cart) horn!! Maybe I could purchase one of those horns for bicycles and carry it with me each week!!
    Funny stuff!!

  • gulp. I’m going tomorrow… just for about 5 things. very very early. very very very early… and I’m going to make sure I know exactly where I’m going, get what’s on the list and run.

  • SeabeeSeniorWife

    LOL!! I feel your pain. I took my daughter with me yesterday. Place was a mad house. I was explaining to her the “rules” of shopping cart etiquette and we pointed out together those who must not have gotten the manual. It made for lots of fun that made a bad situation a bit better. I’m all for there being grocery store referees who penalty flag those who exhibit things like: illegal blocking with a cart, unnecessary roughness penalty for those who shove past you as you try and graciously wait for the old lady in front of you to move and off sides for those with their cart on the wrong side of the aisle. The penalty would force them to go back two or three aisle and try again. Get in the ref’s face and get thrown out of the store for unsportsman like conduct. Oh yeah, I would be willing to pay more for my groceries if there was a store like that.

  • Deb

    You don’t need a horn. You need a taser. Just sayin’

  • Sly2017

    I have a horn……..
    And there are days when I hear kids say as I go past them, “Mommy that cowgirl looks really mad…”

  • Yikes. What I always hated was the retired couples (which may be me, soon) where the wife was browbeating the poor, henpecked guy half to death and I just wanted to hand him an Uzi so he could let the little lady of the house have it…because as far as I could tell that poor dude could never do anything right :p
    If he would pick something off the shelf, she would put it right back. FertheloveofMike, lady — let him buy the expensive brand of chips! Sheesh! What is it – 50 more cents? If he’s that bad, leave him at home. Maybe it is just me, but that used to drive me nuts. And they would always stand in the middle of the fricking aisle blocking everything while she berated him, which annoys the snot out of me b/c I speed-shop and when I’m in the commissary I am on a mission. In and out in 25 minutes or less if possible.

  • Erin

    haha I had to go to the commissary today to just pick up 5 items…5 items I tell you and I thought I was going to be glared to death for daring to take a carton of eggs that another woman had been eyeing without my knowledge. It was so crowded! And so sold out of almost everything I needed! It was nuts! I would definitely support the commissary police.

  • Nikki

    Man, I must have lucked out today!! I hadn’t even DONE my grocery shopping for the holiday yet (Been working all weekend and such), and I’m looking at a guest list of 12-16 people!
    It probably had alot to do with the fact that the commissary out here is normally closed on Mondays and not everyone knew that it was open today for holiday food shopping. Worked out well for me…hehehe!
    This will never happen again, I know it.
    BTW, I really missed the arrows on the floor, I’m always looking for them too. My peeve is the person who walks down the MIDDLE of the aisle and stops every 5 feet or so to intricately examine every detail on the product they want to buy. GRRR!

  • Andi

    Ain’t commissary shopping grand – especially during the Holiday season….

  • It was …. awful. truly. and yes, I wished for the arrows. really. wished. for the arrows. and every. single child in the store was screaming. honest! E above High C – gale force 5. Those poor moms were desperately trying to make them stop, keep moving in the aisles and read their lists, take the stuff out that screamer was grabbing off the shelves… awful. I learned my lesson, again. ONE of these days, it will sink in.

  • I avoided it over the weekend and got lucky on Monday (our is normally closed on Mondays) when few seemed aware it was open. Despite all the aggravations, I’ll still take the commissary over a civilian grocery store.

  • HH7

    Got the last 5 items I needed last night…whew! Forced my poor hubby to go with me (“I’m not doing this alone!”) We got lucky though, only had to brave the produce dept and everything else was on the end caps so we didn’t have to navigate the aisles. I took a peek down a few and it was a complete madhouse! Screaming babies, empty shelves, carts every where (except the lobby) and every which way (we still have the arrows but you’d never know it last night) and some lady getting told off for cutting the line. Incoming! Take cover!
    But I’m with you Marine Wife, hubby wanted to go to Safeway and I put my foot down. It’s not any better crowd-wise and it’s twice the price.

  • The only reason to hit Safeway – CAKE! my DH loves their carrot cake, and their multilayer chocolate cake – yummmm. And this time of year, the pumpkin pie. I decided NOT to bake from scratch this year, the oven here at the apt. is not as good as mine at home, and I am still trying to get used to it.

  • Cricket

    Good helk. I have to plan a Special Trip to the commissary
    because of the Engineer’s retirement status. I used to just weep with frustration because little.old.retirees.
    were blocking the aisles, checking their meds with what
    the dr. said they could eat.
    Since my parents taught me to respect the elderly, silent fuming was the norm.
    Then I discovered shopping BETWEEN paydays. That was the ticket! No more going
    midmonth and end of month for
    me or the children…who if you are lucky enough to have
    a baby in your forties people
    thinks is your grandchild…but I digress.
    I also bought an upright freezer and installed shelvingin the garage to take advantage of the deals.
    I can shop umimpeded now. At any given between payday and holiday time I can whip in and out in about an hour.
    I shop there once a year.
    On Black Friday.
    Time to check out the specials at Benning and Gillem.

  • Ash

    yep, i was smart. I did all my planning at home and all my shopping the week before, WHEW missed the crowd :D