Signing His Life Away

I just read a post over at Hurry Up and Wait about the looming choice to reenlist or not.  My family just made this decision, and at the no-turning-back stage: my husband has another year committed and just signed on for another three; having been in already for almost six, that puts us at the ten year mark.  And once you've done ten, you're practically at the point of no return.  We're now in, and in for good.  My husband called it Signing His Life Away.

And yet it wasn't that hard of a choice for us to make.

My husband loves the job he's doing now, and I love the spouse end of things.  I can't imagine our life any other way.  We had already discussed this at length in the past and had prepared ouselves for a full Army life.  I knew he was thinking about staying in for good even before he signed this new paperwork, so it wasn't really anything we debated with any seriousness.

But after reading Kasey's post and really thinking about the fact that we're going to be doing this for another 14 years, well, the gravity of that really just sunk in!  I can't even get my brain around fourteen years from now.  Wow.

No wonder he called it Signing His Life Away.

How has reenlistment felt to your family?  Was it an easy choice or a hard choice?  Is it a choice you've been putting off because you're still undecided?  Does it make it scarier for you when I call it Signing Your Life Away with all caps?  Heh.

Comments

[Ann M.]

It depends on what day you talk to my DH if he wants to stay in or not. He's due for a shore tour next. I told him I'd rather he reup for at least that long, so he can use some of his TA and that kind of thing. But I want the final decision to be his, because if he signs on for another three and is miserable the whole time, I'd want it to be a group decision as opposed to just mine!

The problem is, he signs on for those three years, and we're at ten....

[Andi]

I do not have a "blogger" account, so I couldn't leave my comment at Kasey's blog, but here goes:

What a great post. I can relate to the part where you say your husband doesn't fashion himself a lifer, but you doubt that very much. My husband is a lifer, he already has 19 years in (we're old). Technically, he could leave in another year, but I don't believe for a minute he will.

When people ask "how much longer?" I say to them, "Oh, we'll still be at this ten years from now." And I believe it, and it's just fine with me if that turns out to be the case. I love this life!

Best of luck with whatever decision your family makes.

[Sly2017]

Beware. You may have a scenario something like this roll your way in 13 years:

Five years ago MH came home from one of the pre-retirement seminars they are required to attend with this little tidbit of information, (delivered with only a slight bit of drool still hanging from his lip and most of the *shine* in his eyes somewhat diminished) "Hey, Honey, if I stay in for only five more years, and pick up my next stripe, we'll make double the retirement of what I'd get for being a 20 yr. Gunny....."
Well, we picked up that stripe and will hit 24 years next month. However,we still have more than two more years left on this current contract.

So much for "only five more years".....

*sigh*

[HH7]

I grew up military so I guess I always knew I'd marry military. When I got engaged to my dh he was only 4 yrs into his career so we sat down to talk about our future and how we were gonna get there. Basically it was me saying "you know if we get married you're staying in right?"

I was only half kidding when I said it but luckily we are of the same mind set and he says "yeah well I was gonna say the same thing to you." Touche!

So here we are now 7 years later and he just signed his life away 6 months ago. It wasn't too hard for us to make that decision but seeing that new ETS date on his LES for the first time is kinda mind boggling 8P

We're with you Sarah, my dh loves his job and I love the spouse life. Live our life another way? Not as long as the Army needs him ;)

[Rachel]

I have been a military spouse for just over a year now (been with DH for over 2 years). DH just re-uped for 6 more years, and he has already been in 10 years. We had to make the decision while he was deployed over last Christmas and that was not easy. I missed him, he missed me and I didn't know if I could say goodbye to him ever again, but after lengthly emails and the short phone calls, we decided it would be best for him to stay in. Now, he is going to put on another stipe next year and hopefully get promoted. I never pictured myself being a MilSpouse, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Semper Fi Wife]

I can remember way back when that 20 years sure seemed like a long time in the Marine Corps. It's really not. Now at the 22 year mark, I know when his time in the Corps will end and where our last duty station will be.
It's a weird feeling and more than a little scary to contemplate what we'll do next.

I love being a military spouse too!!

[Adrith]

My husband reenlisted in August. He'd been in for three, had two more left on his contract .. and was asked to take a three-year instructor assignment. He chose to reenlist for five years, figuring that if he'd spend two years in IRR, he'd rather be active duty.

He and I were married 7 years before he joined the Army, so I got to know first-hand how unhappy he was in traditional workplaces. He's much happier as a soldier, and if he wants to make a career of it, I'm okay with that.

[Kasey]

Thanks for sharing your experiances, everyone. :)

My husband turned to me today while we were driving on post and said "Honey, would you be mad if I re-up'ed" LOL, I knew he would break... he is just so made for this life and he is much happier in the Army than the civilian world.

[wifeunit]

My husband reenlisted last year for 6. He hasn't had terrific luck in some respects (not getting to stay in Norfolk where his daughter is, having his officer package two years in a row not make it off the ship to meet the deadline), but it is a good life and we will take the bad with all of the good. It is something we both agreed on and I think we will be in it for the long haul. The life experiences are just too rich to pass up. Even if you need to factor in these deployment cycles.

Although my husband is currently an IA, so I know even sailors on shore duty get deployments, I would have to think those families that have been through 2 or 3 tours now as army or marines must struggle a bit more come reenlisting time. If a three year commitment means a guaruntee half of that would probably be spent apart, isn't it more difficult? Or is a family that has been through this so much so recently absolutely resolved to go through it as many times as called on? I can't imagine it not being a different experience and set of emotions being in those shoes. And I honestly can't guess how I would feel under those circumstances.

[Sandy]

My DH is in it for the 20. That part doesn't seem scary. I agree with Semper Fi Wife-the what after-is the scary part.

[wendy]

Not exactly the same, but we've been trying to decide if we should extend an extra year at this duty station. We love it here, but we are far from family, and is it the best thing for his career, and will it mean another deployment?...hard to know....